If you’re new to kissing or are just insecure about your abilities in general, we can help. The great thing about being intimate with someone is that you can learn how to be a good kisser even if you’re awful at it. It’s a skill just like any other, really.
But not many people will actually tell you if you’re a bad kisser. And if you haven’t had much experience before, you might not know that you’re bad at it. Even if you think you’re good, you can still benefit from some of these tips.
How to know if you’re an awful kisser
People who think you suck at kissing don’t usually tell you. It would hurt your feelings and obviously if they’re kissing you, they don’t want to make you feel bad. But that can also make it difficult to know if you’re skilled or if you suck face like a fish. Here are some signs you’re a bad kisser. [Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser to watch out for]
#1 People end things after you’ve kissed. Have you ever been dating someone and everything was going great up until that first kiss or make out session? After that, they dump you and don’t really explain why. This could be because you’re an awful kisser.
#2 They avoid kissing you. Does your partner only ever give you little pecks and they don’t really like making out with you? This might be because they like you… but not your kissing. It’s a sign your kisses just aren’t that great to them. [Read: Is kissing on the first date a yes or no?]
#3 Nobody’s ever told you that you’re good. Someone who’s a good kisser will be told they are. Your significant other will get really happy and just tell you how great you are. If you’ve never heard this but have made out with your fair share of people, it could be because you’re not good.
#4 You feel like you’re bad. If you just have a feeling that you’re not good based on past experiences or partner reactions, then you might not be. However, keep in mind that we all have tendencies to downplay our skills – especially if you have insecurity issues.
#5 You’ve never kissed before. Before you rode a bike, you weren’t very good at it. The same goes for kissing. While some people may be naturally great at it on their first try, that’s certainly not the norm. So if you haven’t really kissed anyone before or only have limited experience, you’re probably not great at it. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]
How to be a good kisser and wow someone instantly
If you want to learn to kiss better, we have some tips. Just remember that every person is different and what one person doesn’t like, another might love. Use these tips and adjust according to what each person seems to like best.
#1 Slow and steady. Don’t rush into the kiss. I know a lot of romantic movies show this big collide with tons of passion but that’s just not reality. If you do that, you’ll probably just end up smashing your lips today and that’s awful.
Instead, move slowly. Let the anticipation build, just don’t go so slow that your partner gets annoyed. When you do finally kiss, keep it simple and deepen it slowly. [Read: 15 kissing techniques for that heartbeat-skipping kiss]
#2 Be gentle. Like I mentioned above, there’s no need to smash your lips into theirs. Instead, just be gentle. Allow your lips to graze theirs and apply the slightest bit of pressure. Not only is this universally liked, it also builds the sexual tension and allows for a more passionate progression.
#3 Make them want just a little bit more. This requires some self-control but if you can do it, they’ll think you’re an incredible kisser. Sometimes it’s not just about how you kiss, but how you don’t kiss. Hold back a little. Give them some slow, sweet kisses and then pull away. The next time they come in for more, be a little more urgent with your lips.
#4 Let your lips read theirs. This might sound a little odd but it works. By this, I mean to let your lips feel what theirs are doing. Kissing isn’t just a one-person event. Obviously. It’s between two people and that means you have to work with one another.
So let your lips curve into theirs. Don’t force the kiss to do anything specific. If you do that, your lips will feel stiff and unyielding. Just let your lips flow together naturally. [Read: 12 foolproof kissing tips for a perfectly sexy smooch]
#5 Use your hands. Don’t forget that you have hands, here. If you just let them dangle, you’re missing out on a solid opportunity to make a kiss amazing. The best thing you can do is caress their face with your hands – or even just one hand.
Gently pull them into you with your hands and when you’re actually kissing, use your hands to divulge just how much you want them. Pull them in by the waist, let your fingers dig into them a little. Make your hands show how urgent the kiss is while your lips remain soft.
#6 Keep your lips soft and moisturized. Believe me, if you have cracked, dry lips, the other person can tell and it’ll be a huge turn-off. It really doesn’t take much to do this. Have a chapstick by you and use it a few times a day.
#7 Keep your breath fresh. Sometimes breath doesn’t matter but if you’ve just been eating something that doesn’t smell the greatest, pop in a piece of gum or a mint. Having pleasant breath can actually make a huge difference in the quality of a kiss. [Read: 19 types of gross kisses that’ll make you go “eww!”]
#8 Use your tongue sparingly. Tongues can make the kiss very erotic, but too much will be gross and unwanted. Before you can use your tongue, make sure you’ve at least made out a little bit before. Your partner needs to be comfortable around you.
Then, while kissing, just graze their bottom lip with your tongue. This is very gentle and naughty, while also remaining pleasant. They won’t have to feel your entire tongue reaching for their throat this way – which is a huge turn-off.
#9 Throw some biting in there. You have to be careful with biting because if you do it too hard or your partner isn’t into it, it’ll make things awkward. But if you’re looking to up the passion, grab their bottom lip between your teeth very gently and not for long. Let it go and dive right back in for a kiss. [Read: Why lip biting is oh so sexy]
#10 Practice. The more experience you have, the better you get. If you never kiss someone, you can’t really put these tips into effect. So if you have a partner, just practice kissing them as much as you can. It’s fun and you’ll get much better.
[Read: 12 subtle moves to be a really good kisser]
Knowing how to be a good kisser comes with experiencing and knowing your partner well. Be gentle, let your lips move naturally, and live in the moment of the intimate embrace.
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