Times are changing. Thankfully, we are better able to express our differences. Being sex positive is a must these days, but what does it mean exactly?
You’ve probably noticed the term sex positive flying around recently. Do you have a firm grasp of what it means? Well, basically, it means whatever you want it to mean. From being positive about sex in general, having a positive attitude towards your own sexuality, or tolerance towards the different sexualities of other people.
What does it mean to be sex positive?
Put simply, sex positive or sex positivity, is all about attitude. It isn’t something you can see or feel. In this instance, sex positive is an open attitude towards everything related to sex. Viewing anything sexually consensual as healthy and something which brings great pleasure. It’s also about being open to experimenting and exploring new avenues of pleasure.
Gender neutral, gender fluid, asexual, polyamorous. The list of new terms goes on. The thing is, does it really matter what we are or what we feel? Or what we associate ourselves with, and how it all ties together, as long as it isn’t hurting anyone else? And why should it hurt anyone else? Tolerance is far greater than it has ever been, but it’s not quite there yet.
Being sex positive is more about a general attitude amongst a large group of people. For instance, if you came out 20 years ago and said that you were polyamorous, you’d probably have a few odd stares coming your way, and, a whole lot of judgement. There was far less tolerance towards differences in sexuality a couple of decades ago.
The 1980s saw many music stars coming out as gay: Freddie Mercury, George Michael, etc. While times were changing even then, there was still judgement and hushed whispers, jokes at their expense. That is the attitude that needed to change. Thankfully, it has. [Read: What it means to be sexually fluid in the dating world]
A growing community
These days, the LGBTQ community is growing. It isn’t only because there are more people embracing their differences. People feel confident enough to come out and say “I’m gay, so what?” or “I’m bisexual, but that doesn’t define me as a person.” [Read: Are you bisexual? How to understand your true desires]
Someone’s sexual preferences, what they do behind closed doors within a consensual partnership is nothing to do with anyone else. It should be celebrated as someone simply embracing their needs and wants within a safe environment. That is what sex positive is.
That’s not the whole story either! This sex positive business is quite complicated and wide-reaching! Sex positive also encompasses the following:
– Being comfortable within your own sexuality and exploring your own desires without judgement.
– Feeling open to learning more about sex in general, understanding how both the body and mind work.
– Feeling confident enough to ask questions about sex.
– Understanding the vital importance of what safe sex is and what it means. This includes contraception at all times and responsibility for your sexual history, like being tested for STIs and talking about sexual history before sleeping with a new partner.
– Realize that sex is a healthy part of modern-day life and isn’t something to be ashamed of.
– Understanding the importance of consent on both sides. Consensual encounters are the center of everything to do with sexual positivity.
– Not judging anyone on the basis of their sexual preferences, their sexual history, or their sexual desires.
Being a sexually positive person is a good thing in general! Become more tolerant and open-minded. You are far more able to embrace people for the individuals they are deep down, without preconceived ideas getting in the way. In addition, you explore and embrace your own sexuality. Who knows where that may lead! [Read: How to know for sure if you’re a try-sexual]
So, how do you become more sex positive?
It’s really about learning and developing. For every person you meet who feels comfortable enough to talk to you about their sexual identity and beliefs, listen to their ideas. Examine them in your mind from a positive point of view.
Don’t look at the perceived negatives. Instead look towards the positives. If someone tells you that they’re bisexual, don’t think about the negatives you might associate with that lifestyle. Those aren’t yours to judge. Rather, think about how wonderful it must be to know that you can fall in love with any person, regardless of their gender. [Read: The most common bisexual stereotypes we need to get rid of]
You should also think about your own sexuality and what you feel and need. Have you ever felt attraction towards someone of the same gender? How did you feel about it? Were you confused? Did you embrace it, or did it scare you? Ask yourself why you felt the emotions you did.
Read the news and explore stories which are linked to the LGBT community and every other association from that group. Be open to what you see. Again, look for the positives.
Over time, you will notice that your attitude towards sex becomes more open and tolerant, which is something we could all benefit from.
When you think about it, why do we stress about something so natural and normal? There is nothing negative about practicing sex in a safe manner. There’s nothing negative about finding pleasure in something so normal! [Read: How being sexualized can make or break you]
Being comfortable with our sexuality
We should all feel comfortable expressing our sexuality. There shouldn’t be shame or fear of what others might think. By being more confident and embracing your sexuality, you explore it in a safe way.
This means meeting people who have the same preferences as you, and together, explore in a consensual manner. Your overall confidence will grow, and you will feel far more connected to yourself. Being able to meet new people is all part of the journey too.
The sex positive movement is a truly wonderful thing in many ways. Of course, tolerance isn’t 100% yet. Maybe it never will be.
There will always be people with religious or cultural beliefs who don’t agree with what you think, believe, or do. But don’t pay any attention to these people. As long as everything is consensual and safe, there is no harm in what you are doing.