We’ve all had those days where we feel a little uncertain and unsure of ourselves. Or those times where we find ourselves super nervous, which affects the way we perform. It could be before going to a big event or party, doing a presentation for work colleagues, going out on a blind date, or taking a test. It happens to all of us. But understanding how to be more confident is a vital life skill.
Learning confidence isn’t as simple as faking it until you make it, but it’s much more than that. It takes a lot of trial and error before a person can successfully be confident genuinely.
Getting up every morning, looking in the mirror, and thinking ‘Yeah, I’ve got this’ makes such a difference. It affects not just how you see yourself but also how you develop friendships and relationships.
Without absolute confidence, it’s easy to settle for bad relationships in your life simply because you lack the self-esteem to see your worth.
[Read: How to respect yourself – he 14 secrets to self-belief and self-worth]
Confidence is one of those life skills that are extremely challenging to learn, but is also very important. Without confidence, you will struggle in almost all aspects of your life. You’ll struggle to find a career, the right friendships and relationships, and even to speak up and have a voice.
Confidence is necessary to be the best version of who you are.
But it’s easier said than done, which is why many people are simply choosing to fake it to make it. No matter how you choose to learn how to be more confident, it should be genuine and real. It’s not just about learning to dress up presentably, but confidence is found within.
[Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
If you always rain down on yourself or always says ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m too scared’ or just don’t believe in your ability to do what you want to do and be who you want to be, you’re not being fair to yourself. You cheat yourself of the chance of having the kind of amazing life you deserve.
The good news is there are loads of ways you can slowly start to build up your self-confidence. If you truly work at it, building upon it every day, you’ll start to feel good about yourself and have that enviable air of confidence that really improves your life.
Here are 25 ways for you to learn how to be confident.
Worry and fear are pointless and unhelpful. Try to block these negative thoughts and only focus on the things you can change. You can’t be a ray of sunshine all the time. Negative thoughts will harm your confidence faster than anything else, so if you genuinely want to learn how to be more confident, you need to think more positively.
It’s hard to stay positive in a negative world, but your negative thoughts really are the culprit to gaining confidence. The point is to keep negative thoughts in check and focus on your goals – what you’ve got to be thankful for and what you hope to achieve. [Read: What to be thankful for when life isn’t easy]
Stop dwelling on the past or dwelling on what might be. Instead, focus on what is happening right now. It’s good to learn from mistakes, and it’s good to have goals for the future. By living in the present, you can appreciate what truly matters in life.
The more you dwell on your past or obsess over the future, the more likely you won’t gain the confidence you require in life. So instead of worrying about the mistakes you’ve made, or the things you can’t control or change, focus on the things you can. [Read: How to stop ruminating your past and focus on living your future]
Have different sets of goals to aim towards. Some should be small, daily goals. While others should be larger aspirations that take more time and effort. Focus on your goals and work on how to achieve them.
Every time you tick off something on your goals list, you feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. So if you want to learn how to be confident, create goals and find a way to achieve them.
If you want to know how to be confident, you must take a moment to remember everything that you should be thankful for. Doing so helps us realize our lives are actually filled with great things. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t have and complaining about them, appreciate the things you do have.
It also helps to be grateful for your best traits such as having your health, having great hair, earning a good salary, being a good partner, or whatever else you’re proud of! [Read: How to be grateful – 20 authentic ways to appreciate and express it]
If you want to improve your self-confidence, step outside of your comfort zone once in a while. Doing things that feel nerve-wracking and overcoming our fears teaches us that really there is nothing to be afraid of!
Confidence won’t be easy to attain, so if you’re serious about gaining confidence, you need to get out of your horizons and see further. Push yourself and realize that discomfort is all part of your journey to confidence. [Read: How to stand up for yourself and get what you deserve]
When faced with obstacles, don’t be the person that immediately breaks down, gives up, or looks to someone else. Become a problem solver. Always think, ‘how can I get past this’ or ‘what can I do to resolve this?’
Thinking like a problem solver helps you crush those obstacles and lets nothing stand in your way. Also, the more problems you get to solve, the more your confidence increases. It helps you believe in yourself further.
We all suffer from setbacks from time to time. If something knocks your confidence, you get rejected, or something negative happens, learn how to get over it more quickly.
Learn how to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again. Having resilience is incredibly useful when learning how to be confident. Your ability to get back up after every challenge is precisely what makes you strong. [Read: 18 ways to have high self-esteem and start winning at life]
Confident people didn’t get to their desired level of confidence without having some form of role model. Have a mentor or someone you aspire to be like. Keep them focused in your mind.
Think about what they would do or how they would act in every situation. Whether it’s a friend, your mom, or even an artist, it’s essential to have someone to look up to. Really, it can be anyone, Elon Musk or Taylor Swift!
The people you spend time around play a significant role in your confidence level. So if you want to learn how to be confident, watch the people you spend the most time with.
If you’re going to be more confident, surround yourself with happy and positive people who have their lives sorted. Their energy will naturally rub off on you. [Read: Why good friends are like guiding stars]
Arm yourself with knowledge and do your research. This keeps you feeling more confident and able to tackle any tricky questions or situations. The more preparation you do, the more confident you feel.
Especially for things like meetings or presentations, being prepared can help you learn how to be more confident. Don’t underestimate the power of coming prepared.
Look after yourself, eat healthily, get lots of exercise, and take care of your appearance. Looking and feeling good counts both on the inside and the outside.
When you feel and look healthy, it helps you glow and look radiant. So taking care of yourself really is necessary if you want to know how to be more confident. [Read: How to look sexy, feel sexy and be sexy without really trying at all]
If you are particularly nervous or unsure at any given moment, just take a few long, deep, slow breaths and help yourself out. It’s normal to be anxious or nervous, but remember that it doesn’t define you.
You’re so much stronger and more confident than you think! This might sound like a minor thing, but sometimes taking deep breaths is all you need to feel confident in any scenario.
Have a positive mantra—stick it up around your mirror and look at it every morning. Repeat it out loud to yourself. This sets you up in a confident frame of mind to start the day.
Also known as positive affirmations, this can help set your intention and reframe your mind for the day. Especially if you tend to think negatively, having a mantra can really benefit you in learning how to be more confident. [Read: 21 positive mantras that will transform your life]
This is one of the most popular phrases you hear regarding confidence, and it exists for a reason. It might start as faking your confidence, but it’ll eventually feel real the more you fake your confidence.
Confidence doesn’t just happen straight away. But if you give the impression of confidence even when you feel your heart fluttering inside, you not only convince those around you but also yourself.
You don’t have to do this alone! Learning how to be confident isn’t about being totally independent. Know when you need help, understand when you need advice, and look for guidance from others.
It doesn’t make you weak just because you ask for help. In fact, the people who know how to ask for help have a lot of strength in them. [Read: Hey, white knight, get off your horse and save yourself first]
Sometimes all that’s needed is a good pampering session and shopping spree to help boost your confidence. So, don’t forget to treat yourself once in a while!
A makeover might not be what confidence is really about, but it doesn’t mean it won’t help. So if you’re looking to increase your confidence, getting a makeover can often help with that.
Doing good deeds, helping others, and generally being a kind and thoughtful person fills you with a warm fuzzy feeling. People respect you and look up to you, which works wonders when it comes to boosting your self-confidence.
You won’t feel confident with a bad personality and characteristics, but only with a kind heart can your self-esteem improve. If you want to learn how to be kind, be kind and generous. [Read: How to be kind to yourself & others & love life instead of hating it]
Remember to always stay true to yourself. Know who you are, know your flaws, change your bad habits and do more of the things you love. You won’t be confident if you keep pretending to be someone else just to fit in.
You’ll only be able to embrace your confidence if you accept who you are unconditionally, including your quirks and flaws. [Read: How to fall in love with yourself and be a better YOU]
It’s amazing how posture can do so much for your confidence levels. A slouched back can make you feel more insecure, but opening your chest can make you feel more empowered.
Just simple things like holding your head up high, plastering a smile on your face, and walking tall make you feel instantly more confident. [Read: Be more positive and increase your life quality]
Sometimes we don’t realize how much baggage we hold onto. This makes us feel cluttered, confused, and uncertain. Having a good clear-out highlights important things to us and provides a fresh perspective, clarity, and a new air of confidence. [Read: Find freedom and let go of the emotional baggage]
The way you talk to yourself says everything when it comes to your confidence. If you keep talking down on yourself and disrespecting yourself, you’ll never learn how to be confident. No matter how easy it is to focus on your negative traits and qualities, always find the good in yourself.
So this means hyping yourself up, believing in yourself, and telling yourself positive affirmations if you have to. If you wouldn’t be so hard with a friend, ask yourself why you’re speaking so brutally to yourself. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]
Nobody is perfect, no matter how hard we try to be. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t work on your weaknesses and flaws. If you have a fear for, let’s say, public speaking or social events, you can try to work on your social anxiety and insecurities in that aspect.
You won’t get it perfectly, but at least it’ll be better than sitting and doing nothing. It helps you gain confidence when you know you’ve improved on a specific skill.
Smiling is always great to bring out your confidence, rather than frowning and sulking all the time. So if you want to know how to be confident, you need to smile and laugh more!
Life is literally too short to keep focusing on the negatives, so learn to smile even if it’s just a little bit more. It brings out your happiness, and you look more attractive when smiling. [Read: How to smile more often – 6 baby steps to change your life forever]
Comparison is the primary thief of joy and contentment, so you’ll never be confident if you keep comparing yourself to others. We all have different paths and directions in life, which is why no one should ever make comparisons. You have your unique traits that make you who you are, and the same goes for everyone else around you.
What you have, others lack, and vice versa. So the next time you want to compare, think about the many times someone has looked at you and wanted something you naturally have. Stop comparing. [Read: Self-concept – What it is and how it plays a big part in your happiness]
Self-love habits can’t be noticed by others, but they can undoubtedly help you love yourself more and boost your self-esteem. Especially in a world where we tend to prioritize others before ourselves, these habits can help you feel balanced and centered.
Sometimes, all you need is a day full of doing things you love in gaining the confidence you need in life. Maybe it’s pampering yourself, going to the spa, or hitting the gym, but they certainly help in boosting your confidence.
Here’s a life truth – everyone fails. When a baby learns to walk, the baby fails until it succeeds. Texting a crush, falling in love, having sex, starting a job, walking up to say hello to someone, whatever it is, everyone fails several times before they succeed.
So if there’s one thing you need to know to learn to be confident, it’s this – you will fail and that’s okay. What counts is just how quickly you dust yourself off, get back on your feet and try again. That’s what confidence is all about. [Read: 16 things you have to give up on if you want to have a way happier life]
If you’re afraid of something, step up to the task and try it again. Every time you overcome your own fear, that’s when you’ll grow in confidence!
You don’t have to confront your fears in front of an audience or when your friends are around, do it where no one can ever judge you.
If you’re afraid of dancing in public and want to learn, try dancing when you’re all alone at home while watching a Youtube tutorial. If you’re afraid to start a conversation with people, try to make small talk with a total stranger standing next to you when no one else is around.
Every time you push the walls of your comfort zone further away from you, the more you’ll learn how to be more confident. And pretty soon, you’ll feel invincible and believe you can achieve anything you set your mind to. [Read: How to be perfect in everything you do and lead a more fulfilling life]
Never let others limit who you are, who you become, or what you believe about yourself. Of course, having an inflated ego without putting in the hard work won’t help you achieve anything. But if you believe you’re worthy of something, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
If you fail at something, it only means you’re not good enough yet. Persevere, and try again, and soon enough, you will succeed. But never let anyone else place a ceiling over your head. If you think you can, believe you can. That’s the only way to make your confidence grow and soar over time.
Being confident is easier said than done, especially because there are so many things that break our self-esteem in this world. However, you can always increase your confidence one step at a time, just by using the suggestions we’ve shared here.
[Read: How to make yourself happy – 20 habits of incredibly happy people]
So, there you have it—how to be confident and transform your future forever. Be patient with yourself and take it one step at a time in building your confidence. Remember, you can’t see results overnight.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!