We’ve all had those days where we feel a little uncertain and unsure of ourselves. Or those times where we find ourselves super nervous, which affects the way we perform. It could be before going to a big event or party, doing a presentation for work colleagues, going out on a blind date, or taking a test.
Understanding how to be more confident is a vital life skill. Learning confidence isn’t as simple as faking it until you make it, but it’s much more than that. It takes a lot of trial and error before a person can successfully be confident genuinely. Having self-confidence and self-belief is so important.
Getting up every morning, looking in the mirror and thinking ‘Yeah, I’ve got this’ makes such a difference. It affects not just how you see yourself but also how you develop friendships and relationships.
Without absolute confidence, it’s easy to settle for bad relationships in your life simply because you lack the self-esteem to see your worth. [Read: The 14 secrets to self-belief and self-worth]
Confidence is so important to learn at an early age. It’s one of the life skills that are extremely challenging to learn, but is also very important. Without confidence, you will struggle in so many aspects. You’ll struggle to find a career, the right friendships and relationships, and even to speak up and have a voice.
Confidence is necessary to be the best version of who you are. It’s easier said than done, which is why many people are simply choosing to fake it to make it. No matter how you choose to learn how to be more confident, it should be genuine and real. It’s just about learning to dress up presentably, but confidence is found within.
Of course, sometimes having self-confidence is easier said than done. If you are one of those people always down on yourself or always says ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m too scared’ or just doesn’t believe in your ability to do what you want to do and be who you want to be, you’re not being fair to yourself. You cheat yourself of the chance at the kind of amazing life you deserve.
The good news is there are loads of ways you can slowly start to build up your self-confidence. If you truly work at it, building upon it every day, you’ll start to feel good about yourself and have that enviable air of confidence that really improves your life.
Here are 20 ways for you to learn how to be confident.
Worry and fear are pointless and unhelpful. Try to block these negative thoughts and only focus on the things you can change. You can’t be a ray of sunshine all the time. Negative thoughts will harm your confidence faster than anything else, so if you genuinely want to learn how to be more confident, you need to think more positively.
Provided that this is easier said than done, but your negative thoughts really are the culprit to gaining confidence. The point is to keep negative thoughts in proportion and focus on your goals – what you’ve got to be thankful for and what you hope you achieve. [Read: What to be thankful for when life isn’t easy]
Stop dwelling on the past or dwelling on what might be. Instead, focus on what is happening right now. It’s good to learn from mistakes, and it’s good to have goals for the future. By living in the present, you can appreciate what t=truly matters in life.
The more you dwell on your past or obsess over the future, the more likely you won’t gain the confidence you require in life. So instead of worrying about the things you can’t control or change, focus on the things you can. [Read: How to stop ruminating your past and focus on living your future]
Have different sets of goals to aim towards. Some should be small, daily goals. While others should be larger aspirations that take more time and effort. Focus on your goals and work on how to achieve them.
Every time you tick off something on your goals list, you feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. So if you want to learn how to be confident, create goals and find a way to achieve them.
If you want to know how to be confident, you must take a moment to remember everything that you should be thankful for. Doing so helps us realize our lives are actually filled with great things. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t have and complaining about them, appreciate the things you do have.
It also helps to be grateful for your best traits such as having your health, having great hair, earning a good salary, being a good partner, and so on!
If you want to improve your self-confidence, step outside of your comfort zone once in a while. Doing things that feel nerve-wracking and overcoming our fears teaches us that really there is nothing to be afraid of!
Confidence won’t be easy to attain, so if you’re serious about gaining confidence, you need to get out of your horizons. Push yourself and realize that discomfort is all part of your journey to confidence. [Read: How to stand up for yourself and get what you deserve]
When faced with obstacles, don’t be the person that immediately breaks down or gives up. Become a problem solver. Always think, ‘how can I get past this’ or ‘what can I do to resolve this?’
Thinking like a problem solver helps you crush those obstacles and lets nothing stand in your way. Also, the more problems you get to solve, the more your confidence increases. It helps you believe in yourself further.
We all suffer from setbacks from time to time. If something knocks your confidence, you get rejected, or something negative happens, learn how to get over it more quickly.
Learn how to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again. Having resilience is incredibly useful when learning how to be confident. Your ability to get back up after every challenge is precisely what makes you strong.
Confident people didn’t get to their desired level of confidence without having some form of role model. Have a mentor or someone you aspire to be like. Keep them focused in your mind.
Think about what they would do or how they would act in every situation. Whether it’s a friend, your mom, or even an artist, it’s essential to have someone to look up to. I mean, it can even be Taylor Swift!
The people you spend time around play a significant role in your confidence level. So if you want to learn how to be confident, watch the people you spend the most time around.
If you’re going to be more confident, surround yourself with happy and positive people who have their lives sorted. Their energy will naturally rub off on you. [Read: Why good friends are like guiding stars]
Arm yourself with knowledge and do your research. This keeps you feeling more confident and able to tackle any tricky questions or situations. The more preparation you do, the more confident you feel.
Especially for things like meetings or presentations, being prepared can help you learn how to be more confident. Don’t underestimate the power of coming prepared.
Look after yourself, eat healthily, get lots of exercise, and take care of your appearance. Looking and feeling good counts both on the inside and the outside. When you feel and look healthy, it helps you glow and look radiant. So taking care of yourself really is necessary if you want to know how to be more confident.
If you are particularly nervous or unsure at any given moment just take a few long, deep, slow breaths and help yourself out. It’s normal to be anxious or nervous, but remember that it doesn’t define you.
You’re so much stronger and more confident than you think! This might sound like a minor thing, but sometimes taking deep breaths is all you need to feel confident in any scenario.
Have a positive mantra—stick it up around your mirror and look at it every morning. Repeat it out loud to yourself. This sets you up in a confident frame of mind to start the day. Also known as positive affirmations, this can help set your intention and reframe your mind for the day.
Especially if you tend to think negatively, having a mantra can really benefit you in learning how to be more confident. [Read: 14 mantras that will transform your life]
This is one of the most popular phrases you hear regarding confidence, and it exists for a reason. It might start as faking your confidence, but it’ll eventually feel real the more you fake your confidence.
Confidence doesn’t just happen straight away. But if you give the impression of confidence even when you do not, you not only convince those around you but also yourself.
You don’t have to do this alone! Learning how to be confident isn’t about being totally independent. Know when you need help, understand when you need advice, and look for guidance from others.
It doesn’t make you weak just because you ask for help. In fact, the people who know how to ask for help have a lot of strength in them. [Read: Hey, white knight, get off your horse and save yourself first]
Sometimes all that’s needed is a good pampering session and shopping spree to help boost your confidence. So, don’t forget to treat yourself once in a while! A makeover might not be what confidence is really about, but it doesn’t mean it won’t help. So if you’re looking to increase your confidence, getting a makeover can often help with that.
Doing good deeds, helping others, and generally being a kind and thoughtful person fills you with a warm fuzzy feeling. People respect you and look up to you, which works wonders when it comes to boosting your self-confidence.
You won’t feel confident with a bad personality and characteristics, but only with a kind heart can your self-esteem improve. If you want to learn how to be kind, be kind and generous.
Remember to always stay true to yourself. Know who you are, know your flaws, change your bad habits and do more of the things you love. You won’t be confident if you keep pretending to be someone else just to fit in. You’ll only be able to embrace your confidence if you accept who you are unconditionally, including your quirks and flaws.
It’s amazing how posture can do so much for your confidence levels. A slouched back can make you feel more insecure, but opening your chest can make you feel more empowered.
Just simple things like holding your head up high, plastering a smile on your face, and walking tall make you feel instantly more confident. [Read: Be more positive and increase your life quality]
Sometimes we don’t realize how much baggage we hold onto. This makes us feel cluttered, confused, and uncertain. Having a good clear-out highlights important things to us and provides a fresh perspective, clarity, and a new air of confidence.
[Read: Find freedom and let go of the emotional baggage]
Being confident is easier said than done, especially since so many things break our self-esteem in this world. However, you can always increase your confidence with these tips above.
So, there you have it—how to be confident in 20 steps. Be patient with yourself and take it one step at a time in building your confidence. Remember, you can’t see results overnight.
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