We’ve all had those days where we feel a little uncertain and unsure of ourselves. Or those times where we find ourselves super nervous which affects the way we perform. It could be before going to a big event or party, doing a presentation for work colleagues, going out on a blind date or taking a test. Understanding how to be confident is a vital life skill.
Having self-confidence and self-belief is so important. Getting up every morning, looking in the mirror and thinking ‘Yeah, I’ve got this’ makes such a difference. Not only to how you feel but also in how the outside world perceives you. If you give off an air of confidence, people are more likely to be attracted to you, pay attention to you, notice you, and generally to want to be around you more. [Read: The 14 secrets to self-belief and self-worth]
How to be confident: 20 life hacks you need
Of course, sometimes having self-confidence is easier said than done. If you are one of those people always down on yourself or always says ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m too scared’ or just doesn’t believe in your ability to do what you want to do and be who you want to be, you’re not being fair to yourself. You cheat yourself of the chance at the kind of amazing life you deserve.
The good news is there are loads of ways you can slowly start to build up your self-confidence. If you truly work at it, building upon it every day, you’ll start to feel good about yourself and have that enviable air of confidence that really improves your life.
Here are 20 ways for you to learn how to be confident.
#1 Stop negative thoughts. Worry and fear are pointless and unhelpful. Try to block these negative thoughts and only focus on the things you can change. You can’t be a ray of sunshine all the time. The point is to keep negative thoughts in proportion and focus on your goals, on what you’ve got to be thankful for, and what you hope you achieve.
This helps you start each day in a positive and productive frame of mind and stop those negative, confidence crushing thoughts in their tracks. [Read: What to be thankful for when life isn’t easy]
#2 Live in the present. Stop dwelling on the past or dwelling on what might be. Instead, focus on what is happening right now. It’s good to learn from mistakes, and it’s good to have goals for the future. But if you tend to worry and fret or dwell and think negatively about what you can’t change, you won’t be doing your confidence any good! [Read: How to stop ruminating your past and focus on living your future]
#3 Have goals. Have different sets of goals to aim towards. Some should be small, daily goals. While others should be larger aspirations that take more time and effort. Focus on your goals and work on how to achieve them. Then, make sure each time you achieve a goal, however small, you take the time to congratulate yourself.
#4 Be grateful. If you want to know how to be confident, you must take a moment to remember everything that you should be thankful for. Doing so helps us realize our lives are actually filled with great things. Don’t only think about external things, but also what you can be thankful for about yourself such as having your health, having great hair, earning a good salary, being a good partner, and so on!
#5 Push yourself. If you want to improve your self-confidence, step outside of your comfort zone once in a while. Doing things that feel nerve-wracking and overcoming our fears teaches us that really there is nothing to be afraid of! So, if there is something you want to do but are scared of doing then just be brave, bite the bullet and go for it! [Read: How to stand up for yourself and get what you deserve]
#6 Be a problem solver. When faced with obstacles, don’t be the person that immediately breaks down or gives up. Become a problem solver. Always think, ‘how can I get past this’ or ‘what can I do to resolve this?’ Thinking like a problem solver helps you crush those obstacles and lets nothing stand in your way.
#7 Recover quicker. We all suffer from setbacks from time to time. If something knocks your confidence, you get rejected, or something negative happens, learn how to get over it more quickly. Learn how to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
#8 Have someone you look up to. Have a mentor or someone you aspire to be like. Keep them focused in your mind. Think about what they would do or how they would act in every situation.
#9 Spend time with positive, confident people. The people you spend time with have a direct impact on your life. If you want to be more confident surround yourself with people who are happy, positive, and have their lives sorted. Their energy will naturally rub off on you. [Read: Why good friends are like guiding stars]
#10 Be prepared. Arm yourself with knowledge and do your research. This keeps you feeling more confident and able to tackle any tricky questions or situations. The more preparation you do, the more confident you feel.
#11 Stay healthy. Look after yourself, eat healthy, get lots of exercise, and take care of your appearance. Looking and feeling good counts both on the inside and the outside.
#12 Take deep breaths. If you are particularly nervous or unsure at any given moment just take a few long, deep, slow breaths and help yourself out.
#13 Have a mantra. Have a positive mantra—stick it up around your mirror and look at it every morning. Repeat it out loud to yourself. This sets you up in a confident frame of mind to start the day. [Read: 14 mantras that will transform your life]
#14 Fake it until you make it. Confidence doesn’t just happen straight away. But if you give the impression of confidence even when you do not, you not only convince those around you, but also yourself.
#15 Seek advice and help. You don’t have to do this alone! Learning how to be confident isn’t about being totally independent. Know when you need help, understand when you need advice, and look for guidance from others. [Read: Hey, white knight, get off your horse and save yourself first]
#16 Get a makeover. Sometimes all that’s needed is a good pampering session and shopping spree to help boost your confidence. So, don’t forget to treat yourself once in a while!
#17 Be kind and generous. Doing good deeds, helping others, and generally being a kind and thoughtful person fills you with a warm fuzzy feeling. People respect you and look up to you which works wonders when it comes to boosting your self-confidence.
#18 Don’t change who you are. Remember to always stay true to yourself. Know who you are, know what your flaws are, change your bad habits and do more of the things you love.
#19 Change your posture. Just simple things like holding your head up high, plastering a smile on your face, and walking tall makes you feel instantly more confident. [Read: Be more positive and increase your life quality]
#20 Have a clear out. Sometimes we don’t realize how much baggage we hold onto. This makes us feel cluttered, confused, and uncertain. Having a good clear out highlights the things important to us and provides a fresh perspective, clarity, and a new air of confidence.
[Read: Find freedom and let go of the emotional baggage]
So, there you have it—how to be confident in 20 steps. It won’t happen overnight, but keep trying and you’ll get there!
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