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Kissing on the First Date – Is that a Yes or a No?

Kissing on the first date isn’t wrong. But it isn’t always right either. Puckering your lips up for a smooch depends more on these circumstances.

kissing on the first date

Let’s face it.

Most guys want to kiss the girl on the first date.

And most girls, well, they’re confused about this big question, to kiss or not to kiss on a first date.

A kiss is an intimate expression of affection.

It seals an invisible bond, and signifies that both of you are now intimately involved with each other.

And it also takes the budding relationship forward into the next stage *whether you’re ready for it or not*.

After all, you can’t take the kiss back, can you?

[Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss really memorable!]

Guys and that first kiss

Every time a guy dates a girl, he wants to know whether he’s made a really good impression on the girl.

He’d want to believe that the girl has had a wonderful time with him, and is head over heels in love with him already!

If he has to allow himself to fall in love with her, he wants to see a convincing sign that she likes him.

He may like the girl a lot and may be totally infatuated by her, but he’d always be hesitant to fall head over heels in love with her until he can get a big sign of affection in return. [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]

Guys sow their wild oats at every instance they get, and they want to know immediately if there’s a potential to get together with the girl to evaluate whether they’re ready for a commitment with that girl.

Girls and that first kiss

Now girls aren’t very different from guys when it comes to that first date. When a girl goes on a date with a guy, she’d want to see a happy sign that the guy is enjoying himself on the date. And even more so, she’d want to see a big sign that proves that the guy likes her a lot!

But here comes the tricky part, that plays the big difference between men and women, and that first kiss on the first date.

A guy likes to sow, while a girl likes to take it slow. Evolutionally speaking, a man can prepare himself for sex and procreation every few hours, whereas a woman takes nine months to conceive and be ready for procreation again.

It’s this evolutionary fact that subconsciously makes a woman take time to decide if a man is worth the effort and the time. So the harder the man woos and pursues a woman *to prove just how awesome he is!*, the sooner the girl would fall in love with him and show her appreciation for him in return. [Read: Evolution and why men love particular parts of a woman’s body so much!]

Is a kiss on the first date that big a deal?

Kissing on a first date can feel really good, but at the same time, there’s no going back from the first kiss. It may leave one or both of you wondering if things are going too fast. You may wonder if you actually like the person you dated, or was that kiss an accidental mistake that you come to regret.

You need to remember that many people may not be comfortable with the idea of kissing someone they’ve been with only for a few hours. Of course, if you’re living in a big city where life is fast paced and people don’t have time to take it slow and easy, you may see that kissing on the first date is more of a norm than an awkward thing to do at the end of the date. [Read: 16 first date tips for guys to charm your date]

But generally, even if there was a great potential of a perfect romance, that first kiss could complicate things and make you hasty, because you’d want to judge this person as a potential partner even before you get to know them well.

On the other hand, some guys or girls you date could see the first kiss on the first date as a sign of commitment! And they may start behaving like your partner on the very next date, which can make things so darn awkward, especially if they still feel like a stranger to you. Or it could get worse if they’re expecting another kiss or something more on the second date because you kissed them on the first date! [Read: 16 first date tips for girls to dazzle your date]

When is it okay to kiss on the first date?

Kissing on a first date isn’t bad. But it all depends on just how comfortable you are with the idea. Here are a few circumstances when a first kiss is completely acceptable.

#1 The sexual chemistry is intense. You can’t wait to make out with this person. And your date is having a hard time keeping their hands off you too! [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on on the date]

#2 Mutual attraction. Both of you have been attracted to each other for a while before getting together on the date.

#3 You like your date. You’re on the date, and at some point during the date, you realize you actually like this person. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the very first date!]

#4 The perfect date. It’s a real date that’s lasted long into the night, and both of you have been really touchy feely the whole while.

#5 I’m not seeing you again! You’re on a date with a gorgeous person. You like them, but you just don’t feel the chemistry. You think the person is nice, but there’s nothing in common and you don’t intend on dating them again. You might as well just kiss the person and get the what-if over with!

When is it acceptable to not kiss on the first date?

While a kiss on the first date is perfectly acceptable, there are a few instances when it can just feel awkward and scripted. Here are a few reasons why you could skip the kiss on the date.

#1 It’s only been a few hours. You’re still getting to know your date, and you really don’t like kissing strangers.

#2 You don’t think you’ll date them. You’re not sure you want to date this person again, and you really have no interest in kissing someone you don’t find fascinating.

#3 Scripted kiss. There’s just too much pressure on that kiss at the end of the date. It’s killing the mood and you can’t concentrate on your date because you’re constantly thinking of that kiss. You may find it easier to just avoid kissing on the first date so you can enjoy the date instead of feeling stressed out.

#4 Your date is warm, but not ready. Your date seems to be enjoying your company and they seem to like you. But they’re not showing any real signs that they want to pucker up at some point at the end of the date. [Read: 20 obvious signs of attraction on a first date]

#5 You just don’t feel like it. This could happen at times. You like your date and really want to see them again, but you don’t feel like kissing them. You probably want that first kiss to feel special and the moment just doesn’t seem right.

The first kiss and the fear of rejection

Many people live by the code that they don’t kiss on a first date, however well the date goes. For a few others, a kiss at the end of the first date feels rather scripted and expected, which can kill the romance and spontaneity of a perfect kiss.

A few girls would think the guy is sweet if he waits for more than just one date before planting a kiss. On the other hand, a few other girls may assume a guy’s weird or uninterested if he doesn’t try puckering up before the end of the date.

And guys, well, they’d just be confused about what to do! But usually, a guy who sees a serious romantic potential in his date may prefer to stay away from the kiss on the first date unless he sees a sign from the girl. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, and it’s a lot safer than being rejected by someone he really wants to impress.

Girls, if you do want the guy to kiss you, give him a few subtle signs so he can get the hint. [Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to!]

And guys, work your magic and help your date feel more comfortable during the date. And if she likes you, chances are, she’d want your kiss before the end of the night. [Read: How to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw up]

Testing the water to avoid that awkward feeling

There are so many kinds of daters in the world, and you can’t really tell who’s stingy and who’s generous with their first kiss. So take it easy, don’t script any kisses into the first date and go with the flow. If you really like your date and intend to kiss them *but you don’t see any signs of reciprocation from your date*, wait until the end of the date. [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and turn him on!]

As you sit in the car or stand outside their door during that final goodbye, move in closer to hug your date, and plant a soft kiss on their cheek. And as you do that, don’t move away. Just stay close for a few seconds and see if your date reciprocates by bringing their face closer to yours.

If your date moves away after that hug and the kiss on the cheek, well, better luck next time. But if your date comes closer, well, move in for that kiss because that’s what your date wants too!

[Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation and make your date fall in love with you]

So what’s your take on kissing on the first date? Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on you, your date, and what both of you want at that particular moment!

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Keith Brown
With a penchant for downing more energy drinks than is sane, Keith Brown is a bartender and amateur mixologist who geeks about superheroes and spends way too mu...
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