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Kissing on the First Date – Is it a Yes or a No?

Kissing on the first date is a gray area. Should you go in for a smooch or wait a while? Let’s debate the whole kiss on the first date palaver!

kissing on the first date

Let’s face it, most guys want to kiss the girl on the first date. Most girls are a little confused about this big question – to kiss or not to kiss on a first date? For sure, a kiss is an intimate expression of affection, but should you be kissing on the first date or should you wait?

The thing is, you can’t take the kiss back, can you? If you go in and your date thinks it’s too soon, they might assume you’re only after one thing. But, if you wait too long, they might think you’re not interested.

Not an easy subject, is it? It’s not as though you can come out and ask either; saying, “do you want me to kiss you” isn’t really the most romantic way to start! [Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss really memorable!]

Guys and the first kiss

Every time a guy dates a girl, he wants to know whether he’s made a really good impression on her.

He wants to believe that the girl has had a wonderful time with him. He wants to know she is head over heels in love with him already! Of course, considering she’s only had one date with him, that might be a long shot, but he wants to feel that way regardless.

He may like the girl a lot and may be totally infatuated by her. But, he’ll always be hesitant to fall head over heels in love with her until he can get a big sign of affection in return. [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]

Guys sow their wild oats whenever they can. They want to know immediately if there’s potential to get together with the girl. Then, they can evaluate whether they’re ready for a commitment with that girl.

So, where does the first kiss come in? If she wants to kiss him on the first date, it basically says that she likes him a lot. That is the sign a guy is looking for. [Read: 15 Kissing techniques for that heartbeat-skipping kiss]

Girls and the first kiss

Now, girls aren’t very different from guys when it comes to that first date kiss. When a girl goes on a date with a guy, she wants to see a sign that the guy is enjoying himself. And even more so, she wants to see a big sign that proves that the guy likes her a lot!

But here comes the tricky part. The part that plays a big difference between men and women and that first kiss on the first date. [Read: How to kiss passionately and romantically]

A guy likes to sow, while a girl likes to take it slow. Evolutionally speaking, a man can prepare himself for sex and procreation every few hours. Yet, it takes a woman takes nine months to conceive and be ready for procreation again. Yes, it doesn’t sound all that romantic when you put it that way but evolution has to come into these things!

Basically, when it comes to first date kisses, the girl might be worried that if she kisses him or receives a kiss with enthusiasm, he might assume she’s easy.

However, the harder the man woos and pursues a woman *to prove just how awesome he is!*, the sooner the girl will fall in love with him and show her appreciation for him in return. [Read: Evolution and why men love particular parts of a woman’s body so much!]

Is kissing on the first date really that big a deal?

Kissing on a first date can feel really good, but at the same time, there’s no going back from the first kiss. It may leave one or both of you wondering if things are going too fast. You may wonder if you actually like the person you dated. Maybe you’ll ponder whether the kiss a mistake you’ll come to regret.

You need to remember that many people may not be comfortable with the idea of kissing someone they’ve been with only for a few hours. Of course, if you’re living in a big city where life is fast paced and people don’t have time to take it slow and easy, you may see that kissing on the first date is more of a norm. [Read: 16 first date tips for guys to charm your date]

But generally, even if there is a great potential for a perfect romance, that first kiss could complicate things and make you hasty. You want to judge this person as a potential partner even before you get to know them well.

On the other hand, some guys or girls you date could see the first kiss on the first date as a sign of commitment! They may start behaving like your partner on the very next date. That can make things so darn awkward, especially if they still feel like a stranger to you. Or it could get worse if they’re expecting another kiss or something more on the second date because you kissed them on the first date! [Read: 16 first date tips for girls to dazzle your date]

Basically there’s a whole lot of potential for misunderstanding. That’s why you need to think carefully about kissing someone on a first date.

When it is okay to kiss on the first date?

Kissing on a first date isn’t bad. But it all depends on just how comfortable you are with the idea. If you’re up for it and it seems like your partner is, go for it. There’s nothing particularly negative that’s going to happen. But, you do have to remember the points we’ve talked about so far. Misunderstandings are rife!

Here are a few circumstances when a first kiss is completely acceptable. [Read: 15 Types of kisses: Deciphering the truth behind their smooch]

1. The sexual chemistry is intense

You can’t wait to make out with this person. And your date is having a hard time keeping their hands off you too! [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on on the date]

2. There’s a very clear mutual attraction

Both of you have been attracted to each other for a while before getting together on the date.

3. You really like your date and you feel that they do too

You’re on the date, and at some point during the date, you realize you actually like this person. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the very first date!]

4. The date just feels perfect

It’s a real date that’s lasted long into the night, and both of you have been really touchy feely the whole while.

5. The ‘to hell with it’ kiss – You’re not going to see them again!

You’re on a date with a gorgeous person – you like them, but you just don’t feel it’s going anywhere. It’s likely you think the person is nice, but there’s nothing in common and you don’t intend on dating them again. However, you can’t ignore the fact that they’re seriously hot. You might as well just kiss the person and get the what-if over with! [Read: 15 Sexy ways to tongue kiss and arouse your date in seconds]

When should you think about holding off on the first kiss?

While a kiss on the first date is perfectly acceptable, there are a few instances when it can just feel awkward and scripted. Here are a few reasons why you could skip the kiss on the date and put it off until later.

1. It’s only been a few hours

You’re still getting to know your date, and you really don’t like kissing strangers.

2. You don’t think you’ll date them and there’s no real attraction

You’re not sure you want to date this person again, and you really have no interest in kissing someone you don’t find fascinating. [Read: 11 Signs of a bad kisser and 15 foolproof remedies]

3. The kiss would feel scripted

There’s just too much pressure on that kiss at the end of the date. It’s killing the mood and you can’t concentrate on your date because you’re constantly thinking of that kiss. You may find it easier to just avoid kissing on the first date so you can enjoy the date instead of feeling stressed out.

4. Your date doesn’t seem ready

Your date seems to be enjoying your company and they seem to like you. But they’re not showing any real signs that they want to pucker up at some point at the end of the date. [Read: 20 obvious signs of attraction on a first date]

5. You just don’t want to

This could happen at times. You like your date and really want to see them again, but you don’t feel like kissing them. You probably want that first kiss to feel special and the moment just doesn’t seem right.

The first kiss and the fear of rejection

Many people live by the code that they don’t kiss on a first date, however well the date goes. For a few others, a kiss at the end of the first date feels rather scripted and expected, which can kill the romance and spontaneity of a perfect kiss. [Read: 10 Major first kiss red flags that lead to a toxic relationship]

To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question!

Some girls might think the guy is sweet if he waits for more than just one date before planting a kiss. On the other hand, other girls may assume a guy’s weird or uninterested if he doesn’t try puckering up before the end of the date.

And guys, well, they’re just confused about what to do! But usually, a guy who sees a serious romantic potential in his date may prefer to stay away from the kiss on the first date unless he sees a sign from the girl. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, and it’s a lot safer than being rejected by someone he really wants to impress.

Girls, if you do want the guy to kiss you, give him a few subtle signs so he can get the hint. [Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to!]

And guys, work your magic and help your date feel more comfortable during the date. And if she likes you, the chances are, she’ll want your kiss before the end of the night. [Read: How to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw up]

Testing the water to avoid that awkward feeling

There are so many kinds of daters in the world, and you can’t really tell who’s stingy and who’s generous with their first kiss. So take it easy, don’t script any kisses into the first date and go with the flow. If you really like your date and intend to kiss them *but you don’t see any signs of reciprocation from your date*, wait until the end of the date.

As you sit in the car or stand outside their door during that final goodbye, move in closer to hug your date, and plant a soft kiss on their cheek. And as you do that, don’t move away. Just stay close for a few seconds and see if your date reciprocates by bringing their face closer to yours.

If your date moves away after that hug and the kiss on the cheek, well, better luck next time. But if your date comes closer, well, move in for that kiss because that’s what your date wants too!

[Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation and make your date fall in love with you]

So what’s your take on kissing on the first date? Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on you, your date, and what both of you want at that particular moment!

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Keith Brown
With a penchant for downing more energy drinks than is sane, Keith Brown is a bartender and amateur mixologist who geeks about superheroes and spends way too mu...
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