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Feeling Like A Failure? How To Find Your Will & Change Your Mindset

We all have moments of feeling like a failure, but you can change your mindset and see the bright side with a few simple steps, one step at a time.

Feeling Like A Failure

Feeling like a failure is something we all know too well. Whether it is in regards to work, relationships or anything else, that feeling eats away at you.

Feeling like a failure lowers your confidence, gets you down, and sets you back from trying. Think about the way rejection makes you feel, failure is the same, only it is even more personal because it is internal. ??Once that feeling has set in, it can be hard to escape. But the good news is that it isn’t impossible. You can face feeling like a failure and flip that feeling on its head. You just may need a little guidance to get there.

[Read: The fear of failure and why you should never be afraid to fail]

Are you feeling like a failure?

Feeling like a failure can get in the way of so much in your life. It can halt you from succeeding. It can prevent you from being happy. And it can lower your self-esteem so drastically you just want to give up.

But, with that being said, feeling like a failure can be a short-lived experience. You may have failed a test, made a mistake on the job, or been dumped. But after that initial shock, you can be inspired again.

Give it a few days before really getting down on yourself. If a few days or weeks have passed and you can’t seem to shake feeling like a failure, you may need to rethink some things about yourself and why you feel this way.

Why are you feeling like a failure?

Now it is time to analyze this feeling. Why is it that you’re feeling like a failure? Have you actually failed at something or are you looking at a situation from a skewed point of view?

Just because we may be feeling like a failure doesn’t mean we are. So, what happened? Was what happened out of your control?

Did you get a bad grade on a term paper? Did you work your hardest and feel disappointed in yourself or did you wait until the last minute and rush it? Think about what led to this feeling? [Read: The 13 signs of self-loathing and the damage it can do to your life]

Were you dumped? Did you mess up by cheating or did your partner and you just want different things? Sometimes a situation can lead us to feel like a failure when, in fact, things just didn’t work out as we had planned. And that is life.

If you look at the reason you’re feeling like a failure and think you could have done more, then you have something to work on, which is good. If you look back and know you did everything you could, but it still didn’t work out, then you have to face that.

Knowing what led to this feeling can help you realize that this feeling is just that, a feeling, it is not always based on the facts. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons that can help you perfect your life]

How to stop feeling like a failure

Feeling like a failure does not have to be a bad thing. It does not have to get you down or bum you out. In fact, feeling like a failure can be a good thing, if you can see it that way.

Failure can inspire you, it can motivate you, and it can change how you approach things.

So, how do you stop feeling like a failure and start feeling like a success?

#1 Accept the situation. One reason feeling like a failure feels so awful is because we dwell on it. We sit and soak in that bad feeling and let it get to us. We look at what happened and get angry, upset, or disappointed. We may even have trouble accepting it.

Instead of fighting the fact that you failed, accept it. Failure is a part of life for everyone. Each person no matter how successful has experienced failure. Accept that it happened or else you won’t be able to move on. [Read: How to find yourself again after a seriously low point in your life]

#2 Remove blame. Try not to blame anyone. As humans, it is our nature to figure things out. We want to know why we failed. Was it our fault? Was it someone else’s? Were we sabotaged? This is playing the blame game and it is as useful to your mind as asking “what if”.

Don’t look at who to blame. Don’t think if you were only better or stopped having fun that you could have focused and succeeded. Don’t blame someone else’s success for your failure. All this does is take that failure and turn it into bitterness. And bitterness is not a good look on anyone.

All it does is prove that this one instance has power over you. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

#3 Analyze what happened. Stop looking to blame others and look at the facts. You made a plan. Did you follow it? Did something go wrong? What was out of your control? ??And how does this failure affect you now? Does this not working out open you up to new possibilities? Is there something better right around the corner?

#4 Look to the future. Try not to dwell on this one failure. If your favorite actor perished at every rejection, would he or she be who they are now? Instead of focusing on the past, look to the future.

What opportunities are at your fingertips? Can you get a new job? Can you take some time for yourself? Can you find a new passion or focus? Think about all the good this failure could lead you to. [Read: How to be positive and find that silver lining immediately]

#5 Redefine failure. Redefining failure is one of the harder things on this list, but it is also one of the most vital. From a young age, we were taught that failure is not an option. Getting an F on a test was bad so as we grew up any failure felt that same way.

Feeling like a failure means we feel like we are not good enough, we are not as good as others, we didn’t do well, we messed up. But, failure does not have to be a bad thing. Failure is a chance to recover. It is a chance to show our true strength.

Someone who never fails has never had to overcome it. But you have been knocked down, you will get back up even stronger and with more fight and passion to succeed. Failure should not get you down, but lift you up and inspire you to do even better. [Read: How to succeed in life – Everything you need right now]

#6 Be aware of risks. Sometimes feeling like a failure sucks so much because we didn’t see it coming. We didn’t entertain the idea that this wouldn’t work out. But when you put effort into something, there is always a risk. Even if you do your best and try harder than ever before, there are no guarantees.

Accepting that as a fact and going for it anyway shows true faith and power. Being afraid to fail paralyzes us and prevents us from trying. Instead, knowing that things will not always go as planned, but planning anyway shows you are willing to take risks to get what you want. [Read: 10 mind tricks to regain control and get your life together]

#7 Try again. Once you face feeling like a failure and pick yourself up, it is time to try again. Wipe that frown off your face and put on your game day gear.

Accept failure as a part of life, career, romance, and keep living life to the fullest.

[Read: How to take that next step to success and achieve your dreams]

Feeling like a failure does not have to stop you from trying to succeed, in fact, it should push you even harder.

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...