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10 Major First Kiss Red Flags that Lead to a Toxic Relationship

first kiss red flags

There’s not much worse than an awful first kiss. Knowing how to read first kiss red flags can help you avoid the duds so you can find the studs.

I’ll be the first to dismiss a relationship based on a terrible first kiss. Don’t get me wrong, some weird first kisses can turn into great relationships but that’s not always the case. In some instances, there are some serious first kiss red flags you just can’t ignore.

You can easily tell if you have chemistry based on that first kiss. And that means if things are already going south, you shouldn’t waste your time trying. Too many people give in and let someone come back time and time again even though they knew from the very start they should’ve just cut things off.

The first kiss can reveal an awful lot about a person

I know you might think it’s shallow to duck out after just a single kiss. How can you possibly know them well enough to determine if they’d make a bad partner? But the thing is, if you know what to look for, you’ll find a lot of red flags hidden in that first kiss. [Read: 15 first kiss secrets to make it memorable]

First kiss red flags to keep a lookout for

You’ve probably had a bad first kiss or two. It’s just inevitable if you’re in the dating game. That being said, you have to learn to read between the lines – or the lips – in order to figure out if it’s just a bad kisser, or something worse.

Don’t just automatically assume that a bad kisser will be a bad partner. There are very specific things to keep a lookout for that can help you determine if it’s just a nervous kiss or one of the major first kiss red flags. Here’s what you should keep an eye out for.

#1 Too much eagerness. It’s one thing to be excited about someone and it’s another to be super eager to kiss someone. I mean, yeah we all get that rush of emotion right before the kiss but if they’re trying multiple times to kiss you or are going nuts about it, something is off.

They shouldn’t be THAT stoked to kiss you. It could mean they just want to get some and it could also mean they’re so inexperienced this is their first kiss. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, you may want someone who actually knows what they’re doing. [Read: 8 signs of someone coming on too strong]

#2 They grab you and kiss you. This is just in poor taste. It might seem romantic but in reality, they didn’t give you a choice. They just kind of forced you to kiss them by grabbing you and smashing their face against yours.

This could show they don’t really respect your wishes. It could also mean they’re a hopeless romantic who watches too many romantic comedies. And that means they don’t really know what a real relationship would take. Big red flag.

#3 Nonconsensual kisses. You should avoid this person at all costs. If they just kiss you out of the blue and you didn’t know it was coming – and you didn’t say it was okay – that’s horrible. You should never put up with this.

They didn’t have any regard for your feelings in the first kiss. This could mean they don’t really respect your thoughts or desires. Why would they kiss you without at least giving you a little warning to duck out if you didn’t want to?

#4 Continuously trying to kiss you despite you dodging them. There’s always this person. They keep going in for the kiss even though you’ve repeatedly made it clear you’re not interested.

There is no fine line here. Someone can tell if you don’t want to kiss them when you keep moving out of the way. When they persist, they don’t have respect for you. They’re selfish and just want to get a kiss despite your feelings. Steer clear of this type. [Read: 16 types of guys to avoid dating]

#5 Trying to “come up” after the kiss. This is the first kiss and they’re trying to sleep with you. It’s fine if you’ve been hinting at them that you want to hop in bed right away but it’s not okay for them to just assume.

It could mean they just want some ass, really. They might also be overly presumptuous and cocky – both of which aren’t great qualities in a significant other.

#6 Giving you tongue right away. Going in for a light kiss is perfectly fine but when they stick their tongue down your throat the first time your lips touch, it’s a huge red flag. That’s gross and very presumptuous of them.

This is also just disrespectful in a way. You didn’t indicate that you wanted more. You didn’t lean in and deepen the kiss and therefore, it’s a little rude to just stick their tongue in your mouth. [Read: How to kiss with tongue correctly and avoid a gross sloppy mess]

#7 Teasing you about not wanting to kiss them. This isn’t really a lighthearted joke. They should never be rude about the fact that you don’t want to kiss them. Teasing might be cute about something else but when it comes to that first kiss, it’s a huge red flag. They’re trying to pressure you and that’s never okay.

#8 Getting upset when you won’t kiss them. Just walk away at this point. If they get upset or question why you won’t kiss them, leave. They have no respect for you and they certainly don’t have the right intentions. It’s none of their business why they don’t want to kiss you.

#9 Saying something bad about YOUR kiss. How insulting is this? They should never say anything mean about the way you kiss. If they mention that your kiss was slobbery or not good in some way, they’re trying to manipulate you.

They want to get the upper hand. By making you feel inadequate, it’ll make them seem that much better. Avoid this type of person because they’re clearly a toxic energy you don’t need in your life. [Read: 10 devious signs of manipulative behavior you should never ignore]

#10 You feel like something is just “off.” Your gut instincts are there for a reason. They’ve allowed humans to survive for many, many thousands of years. Don’t ignore yours.

If you feel like something isn’t right, then it’s not. Don’t blame nerves or anything else. If you feel like you don’t like that person and you’d rather not continue something with them, that should be it. Move on and don’t look back.

[Read: 10 creepy guy types you need to avoid talking to]

There are a lot of first kiss red flags to watch out for. Ultimately, if you feel like something is wrong and you didn’t enjoy it – or them – it’s okay to cut things off and move on.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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