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22 Second Date Tips & Rules to Get To Know Each Other & Fall Harder

We focus so much on the first date, but what about the second? Follow these second date tips and you’ll bag that third date and keep your romance moving!

second date tips

Many people think the first date is where all the pressure lies but if we’re being honest here, it’s really the second date. Sure, the first is important to see if you have a connection, but you really figure out if you want to be with someone during the second. And for those reasons, you need to know certain second date tips and rules that can help you determine if they’re the one for you.

Not everyone will make it to a second date, and that’s okay. You may even think you’re hitting it off really well only to have the other person disagree completely. This is normal and it’s a natural part of the dating process.

[Read: How to get over dating anxiety – Face your fear and get back out there]

Why is a second date important?

We know that everyone places all that importance and stress on the first date. It’s within reason when you consider how important first impressions are. But what about the second date? What does making it to a second date actually say about your budding romance? And, why is this second date so important?

On the first date, you’re both on your best behavior. You’re desperately trying to impress the other person and you’re hoping and praying that you make it to the end of the night without spilling anything down your top or saying anything inappropriate. So, when you get to the second date, you might think you can relax. Well, yes and no.

It’s still early days, so you still have that ‘best behavior’ vibe going on, but this is the part where you can really get to know one another.

By this point, you will have a general feeling of whether you want to keep seeing this person or not, and vice versa. The second date is important because it’s progress. It says that this may go somewhere. Now, that doesn’t mean it definitely will, but there is a possibility on the horizon.

That’s why you need some first date rules to hand, to keep things moving along nicely! [Read: 5 perfect questions to ask on a date and test your compatibility]

Second date tips and rules to move onto date number three!

You may have spent a few hours with each other during the first date. But on the second date, you need to build the chemistry slowly and at the same time, test your compatibility too.

To help you out, here are some second date tips to help you make a great impression and build the connection at the same time. [Read: The top 50 amazing date ideas to wow your date every single time]

1. Try something new

In terms of second date rules, this one is important. If you had dinner on a first date, grab lunch and watch a movie on the second date, or go to a game and follow it with dinner.

Try something different and make sure your date would have a good time with you.

A two-part date would be a perfect way to take the next step after a first date. It lasts longer and feels different from the first date. [Read: What to do on a date to have a perfect date]

2. Pick your date up, or be picked up

On most first dates, you would have met your date directly at the venue. But now that both of you know each other, walk into your date together.

Either get picked up by your new sweetie or meet up somewhere instead of meeting directly at the venue. And if you’re the guy, don’t be late no matter what. You don’t want your second date to go sour because you kept the girl waiting for more than half an hour. [Read: 30 first date rules for guys and girls that’ll make your date adore you]

3. Find small excuses to touch your date – appropriately!

Flirty touches always have a way of bringing two people closer. Build the chemistry with soft brushes and touches. Make your date want to be with you and spend time with you.

Just a word of caution though, don’t overdo your touchy flirting if you find your date cringing instead of purring. That’s one of the key second date rules, in fact, date rules in general. [Read: The art of flirting by touch]

4. Movies are a good choice

Movies are the perfect chemistry builders for a second date. It gives both of you the chance to sit next to each other and feel connected without having to focus on talking.

And when both your hands start touching on the armrest, or when skin grazes each other’s now and then, it’s definitely going to make sparks fly too! [Read: Movie date tips for a successful date]

5. Buy a small gift

This is not really necessary, but it’s definitely a nice way to let your date know that you’ve been thinking of them.

Pick up something inexpensive and personal, and something that either makes you remember your date or has a personal touch of some sort. If you’re the girl and believe and accept the idea of chivalry in men, you could skip this step and wait for the guy you’re dating to buy something nice and memorable for you.

6. Talk about the first date

Did you fumble over something on the first date? Did you enjoy it? Talk about the first date and all the feelings you associate with it including the mistakes, happy moments, and everything else.

Talking about the first date would refresh your date’s memory of all the happy moments and rebuild the connection with renewed vigor. This is one of the good second date tips to keep things moving along. [Read: 30 things to talk about on a date that’ll make a date way more fun]

7. Get those unanswered questions answered

A first date gives you the opportunity to get to know someone. A second date helps you get to know someone a lot better.

If you have any doubts or questions from the first date that need any clarifying, ask away. As far as first date rules go, this one is important but make sure that you don’t interrogate them! Ask gently and in the conversation, don’t make the chat solely about what you want to know.

8. Don’t have expectations

Key second date rule – Zero expectations. You may have kissed your date goodnight at the end of the first date. But that’s no excuse to behave like you’re entitled to kiss your date whenever you want.

Don’t ever behave like both of you are dating each other already. Take it slow and remember that both of you are still evaluating each other. [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and turn him on]

9. Talk about recent activities

If your date mentioned something about their work or personal life on the first date, bring it up and ask about it. It reveals an interest in your date, and brings both of you closer.

And let’s not forget the most important thing, it shows that you listen and take interest in your date’s daily life. As far as second date tips go, this one shows that you listened and you care.

10. Don’t get too personal

You may be excited to see each other again. And the chemistry may be electrifying too. But don’t ask too many personal questions or talk about your life’s intimate details just yet. You’ve only spent a few hours with each other and you need to learn to take things slow and easy. [Read: 18 happy date signs your date really likes you and wants to see you again]

11. Don’t talk about exes

This is one of the important second date rules. You avoided this conversation on the first date, but a second date should be no different either.

Even if you bump into an ex in the middle of a date, try not to go into conversations that revolve around your past life while you’re in the middle of a good date. There’s a time for that talk, but a second date isn’t that time.

Of course, you can mention your ex is passing, or talk about how long it’s been since the breakup, or why things ended. But that’s about it. Your second date is definitely not a good time to talk about how much of a bitch she was or how annoying a dog he was. [Read: Perfect things to talk about in a new relationship]

12. End the date truthfully

If you’re going to miss your date after saying goodbye, say “I’ll miss you”. End the date by telling your date exactly how you feel, especially if you really like your date already. Even if you’ve kissed on the first date, step in closer and watch your date’s reciprocation.

If your date doesn’t reciprocate your request to kiss, don’t feel let down by it.

As long as your date’s cheerful and happy, it’s all good. There will come a time when you can kiss your date all day long. But today is not that day. [Read: How to kiss a girl on a date by arousing her subtly]

13. Talk about your life goals and views

Now that you’ve already established that you like each other’s personalities, it’s time to dig a little deeper. Normally, these types of topics aren’t really covered on the first date because it should be kept light and fun.

But one of the second date rules you should follow is to talk about more meaningful things in life. Find out their views on different matters and see if they align with yours. It’s a great way to determine if they will be a good match for you in the long term. [Read: 41 conversation starters for when you want to get serious]

14. Consider a more intimate setting

We’re firm believers in making the first date public, fun, and not as serious. It sets the groundwork for a great time and a good impression. However, a second date should definitely be more intimate.

Go on a long stroll through a park or even set up a picnic for just the two of you. A more intimate setting can help you see just how deep your chemistry with them runs without any outside influence. [Read: How to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]

15. Get a feel for their previous relationship

But don’t directly ask about them. You can’t just up and ask them to tell you about all their past relationships. It’s sometimes a touchy subject that should wait for a third or even fourth date.

However, one of the second date rules that can help you here is to get a feel for what their previous relationships were like.

One way to do this is to simply tell a story that included your ex. If they share one about their previous boyfriend or girlfriend, it usually means they didn’t end on bad terms – which is good for you. [Read: How to talk about your past relationships with a new partner]

16. Open yourself up a little more

We understand just how intimidating first dates can be and they can make you so nervous that you hold back a little. The second date is the time to open up. That’s one of the second date tips you should definitely listen to.

Share something embarrassing and personal about yourself and see how they react. If they find it endearing, they’re definitely someone worth spending time with.

17. Tell them how you’re feeling

You’re on a second date. Clearly, they like you and you like them. But you can even take it a step further by confirming this.

Since communication is the key for any successful relationship, telling them how you feel can help you determine if they’re good with communicating in return. [Read: How to tell someone you like them the honest way]

18. Be open about what you’re looking for

You never know what someone wants out of a first date. However, a second date rule that can help you figure out if they’re serious about a relationship or looking for fun is to just ask them.

Mention that you’re looking for a real relationship and finding someone to share a life with. Tell them you’re over the whole “casual dating” thing and see how they respond. Or, if yore not looking for a relationship and you want to keep things casual, make sure you tell them that. Don’t leave it too long.

19. But, leave chats about being exclusive until later

Just can’t go around calling them your partner after two dates.

Pushing the idea of an exclusive relationship on someone you don’t know all that well doesn’t always go over well. A second date rule for this situation is to just avoid the “official” talk. [Read: How to prevent moving too fast in a new relationship]

20. Practice chivalry throughout the entire date

This is one of the important second date tips. Just like your first date, your second date has to be proper and cordial. You still want to show them your good side and in order to do that, you have to be chivalrous.

However, instead of just doing it for fun, do it to see how they appreciate it. Do they say thank you? Or are they just expecting it? This is a huge difference because it can indicate how they would show appreciation in a serious relationship, too. [Read: How to be chivalrous and win them over]

21. Allow them to see the real you

This second date isn’t just for you to be able to determine if they’re right for you. It’s also an opportunity for them to make the same decision. Therefore, you can’t walk around acting like a different person.

You need to show them who you really are. For the first date, acting a little different was acceptable due to nerves. But the second date is all about you showing your date who you truly are and how you really act. [Read: How to be yourself – 14 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

22. Be charming but show your vulnerable side too

Peel back your layers. Share a moment of vulnerability with them so they can see a different side of you. How someone responds to your vulnerable side will tell you more than you need to know about how they’ll be in a relationship.

Do they offer support or do they try to avoid the topic altogether? If the latter happens, that’s not the person for you. Someone worth your time will listen intently and offer advice and support in any way they can.

These second date tips and rules will help you to navigate that tricky time between first date nerves and the situation moving toward something more romantic.

[Read: 12 reasons to be open and honest with your feelings]

A second date is just as fragile as the first date. Use these second date tips to create a closer connection and build the chemistry between the both of you. And chances are, your date will fall hard for you even before you realize it.

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Sarah Summer
Enjoying life in sunny California, Sarah Summer hates waiting for the perfect moment and instead chooses to take the moment and make it perfect. She has an unab...
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