How to French Kiss: 18 Secrets to Melt Anyone With Your Deep Kiss

French kissing is easier than it looks, but there’s a wrong way to do it too! Learn how to French kiss your way to romance success and avoid the pitfalls.

how to french kiss

When you watch a couple seriously making out in a movie, you probably look at it and think “hmm, that doesn’t look so easy!” In some ways, you’re right. It’s very easy to get French kissing wrong.

After all, nobody likes to feel like someone is literally pushing their tongue firmly into their mouth and swirling it around. But, when you know how to French kiss, it’s not only super-easy from that point on, but very enjoyable too.

Be honest, have you ever had someone tell you not to slip them the tongue after engaging in a smooch-fest?

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but if this has ever happened to you, you could probably use some pointers on French kissing!

But don’t panic. We have all the tricks you could ever need for how to French kiss the *right* way and have your lover coming back for more.

[Read: 15 kissing techniques for that heartbeat-skipping kiss]

French kissing is delicious!

Whether you’re licking your lips, swirling your tongue around theirs, or you’re performing some fantastic oral favors, tongues are visual, mental, and physical turn-ons!

When done right, French kissing is one of the most passionate ways to show affection to your partner, and definitely makes for some hot and heavy foreplay.

This makes knowing how to use that vessel of love all the more essential, especially since there are so many ways you can have a major kiss-fail when it comes to Frenching! [Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser and 15 foolproof remedies]

We’re looking at some helpful “dos” and “don’ts” on how to French kiss, and which tongue-tastic methods to avoid! Without further ado, let’s get kissing!

But wait up, what is French kissing?

Before we get into the do’s and don’ts, we need to back-pedal for a second. What exactly is French kissing? We don’t want you to have the wrong impression before we start telling you what to do and what not to do!

French kissing is the super-passionate smoochy style you see in movies and on TV. It’s when two people use their tongue to touch the lips of the other person, or the other person’s tongue too. It’s sometimes called a ‘tongue kiss’ or ‘Frenching’.

You probably already knew what this type of kiss looks like, but maybe you weren’t aware of the name. In that case, we’re now totally on the same page.

Let’s get down to learning how to French kiss like a smooching pro! [Read: How to kiss passionately and romantically]

The do’s and don’ts of French kissing – The must-know tips!

It shouldn’t be surprising that there are many, many things that can go wrong if you’re trying to French kiss your partner, especially if you are new or unpracticed at it.

In fact, many teenagers and adults alike tend to leave the tongue out of their kissing routine, due to a bad experience!

Too much tongue, for example, can be a major turn-off. Lack of coordination or confidence can also be a major hit to your technique. That’s why we’re looking at a few helpful hints on how to French kiss the right way!

[Read: The perfect first kiss – 22 tips to make it oh-so-amazing]

1. Watch your breath

There is nothing worse than having someone jam their tongue inside your mouth right after chowing down on a shawarma! Onion breath? No, thank you. Do your lover a favor and rinse with mouthwash, or take a big gulp of water and pop a mint before engaging in spit swapping.

2. Don’t shove your tongue down their throat when learning how to French kiss

Did you know that a cow’s tongue is about a foot long in length? We’re not suggesting yours is the same length but when you attempt to ram it down someone’s throat it can feel that long!

When it comes to learning how to French kiss, never underestimate the importance of the tongue-to-mouth ratio! Nobody likes getting a giant glob of tongue shoved down their throat.

Nobody’s getting turned on by that nonsense. [Read: Is your boyfriend a bad kisser? How to pucker him right]

3. Do tease your lover

French kissing should be like long, drawn-out foreplay. A big, sexy tease!

Instead of ramming your tongue into your lover’s mouth straight away, try doing very gentle flicks of your tongue against theirs in between normal kisses.

This occasional contact between wet, gliding tongues adds just the right amount of eroticism to your kiss. It’s always better to be slow and gentle with careful, curious touches of your tongue than to just go all in from the start.

4. Don’t drown your partner in saliva

There’s nothing worse than kissing in a horizontal position and having buckets of your lover’s spit fall into your mouth. Eww!

If your partner wanted a tall glass of water to drink, they’d head to the kitchen and grab one themselves! Do everyone a favor and practice swallowing during your kissing sesh. Hey, it’s just common courtesy!

You can also control the amount of saliva you’re producing by sticking to gentle and slow movements – the faster you go, the more spit you’re likely to produce. [Read: 19 types of really gross kisses that’ll make anyone go ewww!]

5. Do keep your tongue soft

A soft tongue rubbing against another soft tongue is beyond a turn-on. Kissing should be fun, so relax and keep your tongue totally chill while making out.

A hard tongue may be great for oral, but it sucks for kissing.

6. Don’t French kiss like you’re in high school

This means avoiding rubbing your tongues back and forth in a rapid manner and swirling your tongues around in circles like you’re trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop!

These are bad, dated techniques that should be done away with immediately. You should not be kissing like a washing machine on a spin cycle! [Read: 15 types of kisses – Deciphering the truth behind their smooch]

7. Do work on your technique

The point of French kissing is to build sexual anticipation.

Some girls like to take their partner’s tongues into their mouths and suck on it gently, as they would a penis during a BJ! This might seem a little silly at first, but it can certainly get the point across to your man. Just make sure you only throw it in there once during your session in order to keep it feeling fresh.

Other great methods for how to French kiss include using slow, sensual flicks of the tongue, running your tongue across the bottom of their teeth *if they’re clean!* or licking the inside of their bottom lip. [Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss more memorable]

8. Don’t be lazy

Have you ever kissed someone who just wasn’t giving back?

A flopping, uncooperative tongue is definitely no fun when it comes to French kissing. If you and your partner are engaging in a heavy make-out session, make sure you’re participating equally.

9. Do incorporate the rest of your body when learning how to French kiss

Learning how to French kiss has to do with way more than just your tongue. Get your whole body involved. French kissing should be a form of foreplay. It should be a fun, exciting, writhingly good sexual connection with your partner.

Incorporate the rest of your body by pressing your bodies up against one another, caressing her breasts, touching her hair and face, or rubbing his penis/cupping his balls through his jeans. This is a great way to have a full-body French kiss.

However, if it’s the first time you’re kissing someone this way, perhaps just stick to stroking their neck and touching their back/chest instead. Just read the room and act accordingly! [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and totally arouse him in minutes]

10. Don’t doubt yourself

One of the biggest ways you can set yourself into a panic about how well you’re kissing is by doubting your abilities right off the bat.

Kissing isn’t like riding a bicycle. Sometimes it takes a bit of practice to know what you like, what you love, and what you absolutely hate!

Yes, there may be some hits and misses over time while you try different techniques, but in the end, just do what feels natural, what feels good, and whatever turns you on!

11. Do start off with a normal kiss and build up

Don’t go straight in there with an open mouth! That’s nothing short of terrifying. Instead, start off with a regular lip to lip kiss and move your lips against theirs until you’re slowly opening your mouth and allowing your tongue to enter theirs.

Read their reaction and act alongside it. It sounds like you’re thinking too much but it’s really not like that.

You’ll just instinctively go with the flow and before you know it, you’ll be open-mouth kissing with plenty of tongue. Just don’t jump straight in! [Read: When to kiss a girl – 20 subtle signs to predict the magic moment]

12. Don’t overthink it

When you’ve got a list of do’s and don’ts to follow and you’re learning how to French kiss, it’s easy to start overthinking things a little too much. Don’t! We’ve just mentioned that it will be almost instinctive once you get started and that’s the truth!

If you start to catch yourself thinking about what you’re doing, whether your partner likes it, or what you should do next, stop yourself and go back into the moment. Just focus on the sensations, and the fun you’re having, and it will flow so much better for the both of you. It’s meant to be fun – chill out!

13. Do close your eyes

Hopefully, this one goes without saying. Close your eyes when you’re French kissing otherwise it’s going to be super-weird!

Nobody wants to be touching tongues with someone who is literally staring into their eyes from less than a centimeter away. Your partner is more likely to run than to stick around for more of your smooching action! [Read: How to tell if a guy likes kissing you and is turned on by your kiss]

14. Don’t overdo it in public

Sometimes, the passion just overtakes you and you can’t stop yourself. We get it. But do try to find the right time and place. Remember that there are people eating their lunch and they don’t want to see you swapping saliva!

15. Do remember to breathe!

You really don’t want to go blue in the face and pass out, no matter how much you’re enjoying your kissing session. Make sure that you take the time to pull away just a fraction and smile at your partner or look into their eyes.

This will give you time to breathe for a second, before carrying on. You’re not supposed to hold your breath completely while kissing, but sometimes it’s not the best idea to sniffle right in their face either.

You should be able to breathe easily through your nose while you’re kissing your partner but if you’re struggling or you need to take more air in, just pull back ever so slightly for a second.

And if you don’t want to break the flow while catching a breath, just slip down to their neck and kiss or nibble under their chin or around their neck. This will give you enough time to breathe comfortably, and keep the kisses flowing in between all the French kissing! [Read: How to kiss better so you can impress everyone you mack on]

16. Don’t keep doing the same thing

If you’ve found that running your tongue gently against theirs works well, that’s great, but you shouldn’t stick with the same move all the time.

Mix things up by touching their lip with your tongue, gentle flicks, small circular motions. Basically, just make sure that you do a few different things, otherwise your partner is going to get bored.

17. Do look to them for guidance if you’re struggling

It’s normal to panic or become a bit worrisome about learning how to French kiss if it’s your first time or you’re just super-nervous.

In that case, just follow your partner’s lead a little. If they open their mouth, you do the same. If they touch your tongue, you do the same. Soon, your confidence will grow and you won’t need to look to them for guidance anymore. [Read: Kissing chemistry 101 – How to kiss someone for the first time]

18. Don’t be worried about laughing off a mishap

Sometimes, the odd thing may go wrong. Embrace it! You might bump noses or one of you might need to pull away really quickly to sneeze.

Life is rarely smooth and that means you might have the odd mishap. Don’t worry about it! Just laugh it off together and get right back into it. It’s not meant to be a super-serious event!

With these tips on how to French kiss, you’ll be Frenching it up like a pro in no time!

[Read: How to tell if a kiss meant something real – 16 signs it isn’t a fling kiss]

If you’ve ever received a negative comment about your kissing technique, don’t sweat it. Learning how to French kiss properly definitely takes practice, but with a willing partner, you’ll be on your way to mastering the art. Happy kissing!

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...