Relationships are full of ups and downs, and it’s not perfect all the time. Now, you may accept this flaw in love easily, but that doesn’t mean that couples can’t be perfectly happy.
Sometimes, the easiest way to find true happiness in love is by throwing away your high societal expectations from the relationship, and just making your own rules.
If you can’t, then you will always be focused on the imperfections and you will miss all the perfectly happy moments.
16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship
Most of the time, as humans, we choose to pick flaws and draw comparisons instead of just focusing inwards.
So if you really want to have a happy relationship or a wonderful marriage, just focus on these 16 main secret ingredients of a perfect romance, instead of wondering where you’re going wrong in love!
#1 Trust. If you want a happy relationship, then it needs to have trust. I’m not just talking about the type of trust that comes from being faithful and loyal, I’m also talking about the trust that both of you have in each other’s ability to do things. If you have trust, then you have respect. And that is very important to a relationship. [Read: How to build trust and get over trust issues in your relationship]
#2 Respect. Every relationship should be made up of two people who respect each other. Both of you should be on equal ground and neither one of you should believe you’re the more important person in the relationship.
It doesn’t matter if one of you has a higher paying job or if one of you is more intelligent than the other, you should respect your partner and your partner should respect you. After all, if one of you thinks you’re better than the other, then why are the both of you together?
#3 Chemistry. Chemistry is a huge part of what makes a relationship work, without it, you are just two people who spend a lot of time together. Chemistry means different things to different people, though it can often be described as an electric connection between the two of you, feeling at home with your partner or even feeling like you have known them all your life. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual chemistry in any relationship and make it stay!]
#4 Support. You need to be supportive of your partner, and vice versa. You need to feel like you could tell your partner anything, and they wouldn’t walk away from you and that they would do everything in their power to help and support you through it.
Having a supportive partner builds you up, makes you feel stronger and helps you to do things that you wouldn’t normally think possible.
#5 Understanding. Every relationship needs to have a certain level of understanding, otherwise both of you will always be at each other’s throats. Understanding doesn’t mean that you have to forgive your partner for things they have done wrong, it just means that you, at least, try to see things from their point of view.
#6 Attraction. This might sound a little obvious, but physical attraction and mental attraction are two things that are needed in a relationship. Attraction isn’t just about fancying someone’s features, it’s about finding the entirety of them attractive – mind, body and soul. If you don’t have that bond, then you might find that your eyes would start to wander and that can only lead down a destructive path.
#7 Fights. Arguments with your partner might not be happy times, but it’s completely acceptable in a relationship if you are going to stay happy together. If your partner does something that annoys you, then you need to tell them about it.
Holding it inside will only lead to resentment. As painful as fights can seem, they can be a really good way to clear the air and start over fresh. And sometimes, that’s all you need to find your happiness again! [Read: Relationship arguments and 23 do’s and don’ts you need to remember]
#8 Don’t lose yourself. It’s really important in a relationship that you don’t lose your individual self. After all, the person you were before the two of you got together was the person who you partner fell in love with.
It’s very easy to get lost in your partner and to only want to spend time with them, but for a relationship to be happy and to stay happy, you need to be your own person too. You don’t want to lose yourself in the relationship and then lose the relationship, what would you have left then?
#9 Don’t have a backup plan. Love like you’ve got nothing to lose! If you want to experience true happiness in love, stop immersing yourself in what-ifs. Just love your partner unconditionally, and trust them.
Now, of course, it’s not easy to do this. But when both of you can reach this stage in love where you can trust each other unconditionally, that’s when you’d also reach the stage of true happiness in love. [Read: The 9 different stages of love all couples go through]
#10 Don’t overthink. One of the easiest traps to fall into is overthinking a relationship. It starts off with little doubts that go unanswered and quickly snowballs into you overanalyzing everything. The problem is that you can get lost in all the unanswered questions, and over time, you end up mentally distancing yourself from the relationship.
This means you end up missing out on all the wonderful things going on around you, because you’re too busy wondering what your partner means when they say something! [Read: Is your overanalyzing sabotaging your relationship?]
#11 When the going gets tough. It’s really important when trying to make a relationship last, that you don’t walk away at the first sign of trouble. If you want a long and happy relationship, then you need to accept that it will take some work. It won’t always be smooth sailing, and sometimes it might not even seem like it’s worth the effort. However, if you can work through those times and come out of them together, then you will be much stronger and much happier for it.
#12 Don’t forget about your friends. To have a well-balanced life, you need to have friends, ones you can turn to when times get bad and you need someone to talk to. Friends are the people you meet through life who stick by you no matter what, they are the people who see you through your relationships and help you make it out on the other side of break ups. They are vital and it doesn’t matter how important a relationship might seem to you right now, but it’s important to keep your good friends by your side.
#13 Make time for each other. The emotional bond between two partners is what replaces the stage of infatuation as the relationship seasons. But to have a strong bond, you need to spend time with each other. A bond isn’t something that is cemented and even after you share a strong connection with your lover, you need to nurture it, to keep it.
So make sure that you always make time for each other, even if it’s only for an hour a day, because that hour could be the difference between your relationship lasting or expiring. [Read: 7 easy steps to be blissfully happy in a relationship]
#14 Don’t force change. People change over time, that’s just a fact of life, it’s something that happens naturally and it cannot be stopped. But this doesn’t mean that you can control those changes that occur. If you try to control the changes and tailor them to your needs, then you will only find yourself fighting a losing battle.
Think of your partner’s habits as a river, it will only change direction when it hits a natural bend in the path. And trying to change your partner to the way you want, all the time, could only end up frustrating them over time. [Read: 20 glaring signs you may have a control freak in you]
#15 Have common ground. If you want a long and happy relationship, then you need to have some common ground with your partner. It doesn’t matter if the common ground is your political views or golfing, but both of you need to share an activity that can be enjoyed together.
#16 Give everything and expect nothing. As rare as it may seem, unconditional love is one of the strongest kinds of love there is. And if your partner and you can love each other unconditionally, then you’ve already got the perfect fairy tale in the making. [Read: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]
Not all relationships can be full of rainbows and unicorns. And sometimes, it’s inevitable that a pinch of unhappiness can creep in, even in the best of romances.
But as long as both of you have the interest to bring happiness into your love life, and ensure that it outweighs any sadness that either of you experience in love, you’ve still got what it takes to share a perfectly happy relationship.
[Read: The 80/20 rule in relationships and your love life]
Keep these 16 secrets in mind, and remember that the biggest secret to a perfectly happy relationship is the will to address issues together and make things work, instead of withdrawing or resenting each other silently.
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