Odds are you know when you like someone, but before that happens there is a feeling of attraction. Sure, sometimes you know you feel it, but other times you are not sure because there are involuntary, subconscious signs of attraction.
And then there are times when you want to figure out if someone else is attracted to you. And of course, you do not want to ask outright. How awkward would that be?
Before we look at the unconscious and subconscious signs of attraction, let’s get clear on what the subconscious mind actually is – and how powerful it can be.
The subconscious mind and how it works
We’ve all heard of the subconscious mind, but have you ever thought about what it really is? It’s a pretty abstract concept. But regardless, your subconscious mind is more powerful than you even realize. [Read: Forehead kiss – what it means subconsciously and makes it so special]
Believe it or not, most of our behavior – 95% to be exact – originates in the subconscious mind, not the conscious mind. People like to think that the conscious mind is in the driver’s seat of their lives. But they’re wrong. The subconscious is actually driving almost all aspects of your life.
For example, have you ever thought of why you buy one type of bread over another type? Sure, your conscious mind considers the price, the kind, and the taste. But your subconscious mind will make the final decision based on things like the color of the package or where it’s placed on the shelf.
You see, the subconscious goes pretty much unnoticed. When someone is asked why they chose to buy that particular brand of bread, they will list the logical reasons we mentioned above. But they won’t ever take into consideration the things that influenced their subconscious mind that they didn’t even know about. [Read: Is she flirting with me or not? 17 quickest signs to read her mind]
As you can see, your subconscious mind is a powerful system that runs almost everything in your life. It is like a data bank for everything that is not in your conscious mind. It stores your beliefs, your previous experiences, your memories, and your skills. Everything that you have seen, done, or thought is stored in your subconscious mind.
It is also the guidance system in life. By constantly monitoring the information that is coming in from your five senses, it warns you of dangers and opportunities. Then, it communicates that information to your conscious mind.
The subconscious mind is constantly communicating with your conscious mind. Every time you have an idea, emotion, or memory, it is the subconscious communicating with your conscious mind. [Read: 23 intense signs of unspoken mutual attraction between two people]
Since your subconscious mind is so powerful, then it’s not surprising that it is also the driving factor in sexual attraction as well.
The involuntary, subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people drawn to each other
Now that you know how the subconscious mind operates, let’s talk about the subconscious signs of attraction.
When it comes to figuring out your attraction or someone else’s, there are involuntary things to look out for. This can be body language, behavior, or even something as minor as a look.
Noticing these subconscious signs of attraction is not as hard as you might think. These things happen every day without anyone noticing. All you have to do is know what you are looking for. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
Are you ready to open your eyes a little more to see if someone is attracted to you? You may even realize you are attracted to someone without having ever realized it.
Look out for these subconscious signs of attraction. You could be one step closer to a hot date this weekend.
1. You spend time alone together
When you are attracted to someone, your body wants to be near them and subconsciously you want to be alone with them.
If you met in a group but went off on your own to talk, you are probably somewhat interested in one another. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
2. You are close in proximity
When someone you are not attracted to stands too close to you, you lean away or take a step back. But, when you are attracted to someone, you like being close to them.
Maybe you sit next to them, lean in to talk, or even whisper in each other’s ear.
3. You ask questions
Curiosity is a common sign of attraction. Attraction is the first sign of a crush or even eventually liking someone. So it makes sense that attraction would make you want to know more about someone.
When you want to know more about someone and they want to know more about you, there is a good chance there is an attraction there. [Read: All-around good questions to ask and forge a better emotional connection]
4. Eye contact
Avoiding eye contact is what you do when you are uncomfortable. But when you like someone, you look into their eyes when you’re talking. You may even make eye contact across a crowded room.
5. You mirror body language
This is something you really have to look for, but it is a major sign of attraction according to body language experts. If you are sitting with your legs crossed and your elbows on the table, someone that is attracted to you will mirror that stance.
6. Your feet point towards each other
Yes, this seems silly, but it is a subconscious sign of attraction. Naturally, if you are standing facing someone your feet would point toward each other.
But when you are sitting, standing at an angle, or even just grabbing someone’s attention, they will turn their feet towards you with their body being attracted to you. [Read: How to tell if there is serious chemistry between two people]
7. Staring
Not in a creepy way, but looking at someone for even three seconds can be a sign of attraction. Ever notice someone just looking at you in the office or at a bar? They are likely attracted to you.
8. Honesty
When you are attracted to someone, you want to share things with them. When you share something personal with someone sooner than you normally would, it may be because you are attracted to them.
9. Blushing
That rosiness you get in your cheeks when someone attractive makes eye contact with you is not just a thing that happens. It is your body’s way of saying this person’s presence is making an impact on you. [Read: How to impress your crush and effortlessly steal their heart]
10. Fidgeting
Fidgeting is a sign of nerves. Even if you don’t realize you are nervous, you may fidget around someone you are attracted to.
You may twirl your hair, play with your zipper, or play with a pen you have in your pocket. Keeping your hands busy distracts you from the nerves of being attracted to someone.
11. Smiling
You smile at your neighbor and your secretary, but when you have a longer conversation with someone, your smile fades.
On the contrary, when you are talking with someone you are attracted to your smile lingers.
12. Touching
Some people are just touchy-feely, but usually not with someone they just met. If someone rubs your arm or touches your lower back while walking together that is a major subconscious sign of attraction. [Read: How people flirt by touch without realizing it themselves]
13. Attention
In this modern world, it is so easy to be distracted. When you are attracted to someone, they hold your attention.
You are less likely to turn your head towards a door opening or someone calling your name when you are with someone you are attracted to. [Read: How to know if you really like someone – Hidden feelings revealed]
14. Protection
It may seem a bit premature, but when you are attracted to someone, your body sees them as a potential mate. That means you don’t want anything to harm them.
Of course, you don’t want anyone to be harmed, but when you are with someone you are attracted to, you are more aware of them.
If you are walking down the street, you may walk closer to traffic, gently pull them away from a subway grate, or even be worried if they tell you they ride a motorcycle.
15. Extending a chat
Saying goodbye at the end of the day or even at the end of a brief conversation is more difficult when you are attracted to someone. You may have the intention to leave at a certain time but you don’t even notice the clock. [Read: 15 weird, unlikely signs to know if you’re starting to like someone]
16. Looking for each other
You may not even realize you are attracted to someone at work. If they are not in one day, you will notice yourself looking for them. And vice versa.
If you are out for a day or two, your coworker may tell you that someone who is attracted to you was wondering where you were.
17. Thinking about them when they aren’t around
This is a surefire sign of attraction. Maybe even more than that. When you are not even around this person and didn’t just look at their social media but you randomly think about them, there is some sort of feelings there.
18. Dreams
Another subconscious sign of attraction is having dreams about them. Having a dream about someone is not just subconscious but also unconscious.
Of course, dreams are fake. You have probably had a dream about someone you don’t even know or care for, but if you notice someone popping up in your dreams repeatedly, it could be due to an attraction. [Read: What does it mean when you dream about your crush]
19. Hair touching
Looking your best is something we all do when we find someone attractive. You may fix your hair, they may adjust their shirt, you may apply lipstick, and they might glance in a mirror to make sure they look alright.
When you are with someone you are not attracted to, worrying about how you look is not as much of a priority. [Read: 17 clear signs you should be dating your friend already]
20. Unsettled stomach
Butterflies, nervous stomach, nausea. This bubbly feeling in your stomach arises when you are around someone you are attracted to. It can even happen before you are about to see them.
21. Laughing
When you are attracted to someone, you want them to know. So, what better way than to be happy and laugh? You might try to make them laugh, or you laugh a little too hard at some of the dumb things they say.
22. Open crotch
This one is for the men out there. When men are attracted to someone, they tend to sit or stand with their crotch more in the open.
This is probably a subconscious way of “showing” their package off and “inviting” them in. [Read: 13 signs of strong physical attraction that reveal a mad attraction]
23. Lots of texting
Sure, everyone texts people that they aren’t attracted to, so this isn’t a sure-fire sign of subconscious attraction.
But if the texting is frequent and long, then there is a good possibility that there is an attraction between the two people.
24. Dilated pupils
This might sound strange, but how dilated someone’s pupils are in their eyes is also a subconscious sign of attraction.
When we like someone, we want to see more of them. So, our pupils dilate to allow more light in so you can literally get a better look.
25. Open body language
Similar to how a man opens his crotch when he is attracted to someone, all people tend to have more open body language. This is because they are subconsciously opening up and inviting the other person into their personal space. They don’t want to appear closed-off and uninterested.
[Read: 30 weird and unlikely signs that you like someone]
Remember attraction is only one part of a romantic connection. So even though these are the subconscious signs of attraction to look out for, there should be more of a connection before taking the next step.