The 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Women

dating turn offs for women

There may be traits that make a guy the perfect one, but there are a few turn offs that all girls hate. Read the 10 biggest dating turn offs for women.

Many guys have been here and experienced it.

The date’s going perfectly, but all of a sudden something goes wrong and she’s gone cold.

Ever been there? Well, here are a few of the biggest turn offs for girls that may have pulled the trigger.

Pinpointing the turn offs for women is not easy.

After all, every girl is different and made of sugar and spice, right?

And which guy on earth actually knows all the ingredients of that perfect sugar and spice blend?!

The biggest turn offs for women

On a serious note though, there are a few girl turn offs that can pull the plug on a perfectly great date.

Turning on a girl isn’t easy, and we’re not just talking about tweaking any body parts here.

Getting a girl to like you is difficult business. It’s like playing a role playing game, where each move is unique and confusing.

But whether it’s making hay in the rain or just wanting to know how to impress women, the biggest turn offs for women are all the same.

Now, some women like big hands and some like small things. I can’t tell you every girl’s personal preference, so I’ll just tell you what you need to know to make sure you never find yourself in the middle of a girl’s turn off zone!

#1 Insecure personalities

One of the biggest turn offs for women is a guy who’s insecure about himself. If you’re not confident about yourself or are feeling nervous, trust me, it shows. This is one of the biggest reasons why guys get spurned on a date.

Are you happy being who you are? Do you think you make for great company? If you aren’t happy being who you are, what are the odds that the girl you’re with would like your company? Some guys have a great positive aura around themselves and some guys are just plain nervous and scared. If you’re an insecure guy, it’s time to change your behavior. Or lose the girl! [Read: How to be a better man]

#2 Oversensitive guys

All our lives, we’ve been taught to be nice and chivalrous. We know we have to help the damsel in distress, step aside in an elevator, hold the door open for women, and make sure she’s all happy and gay. [Read: How to be chivalrous]

To sum it up, we’ve all been taught to think like a girl and experience what they feel. But somewhere along the line, some guys take the whole game of being chivalrous and experiencing the womanliness inside a man to a whole new level. Drum roll… welcome… the sensitive guy. [Read: How to think like a girl and impress her]

Sensitive guys are really nice guys who’ve listened to their mama and have learnt their manners. They’re very much in touch with the feminine side inside them, but they’ve been so rigorously trained on connecting with their feminine side that they’ve crossed the line and have gone way overboard. Watching a mushy movie with a guy and crying on his manly shoulder is a great way for a girl to spend Sunday afternoon, but sharing tissues to wipe each other’s tears? Nope, that’s just not right. Same goes with guys who ask if a girl’s having a nice time a hundred times on a date.

#3 Being cocky or pompous

Some guys think they have it all. And at some point, all the attention and the smothering from their parents and buddies make them assume they own the world. They make idiotic statements and love talking about their own glorious deeds or misdeeds. Do you incessantly talk about how well you played a game or how many cars you own?

Well, say what you want, you’re just going to be a cocky pompous prick. Even gold diggers may get bored of you in no time. Learn some humility and you could still get back in a girl’s good books.

#4 The foot in the mouth

Now this isn’t a bad thing, but we’ve all experienced it. Here are a few instances. You’re kissing a girl, and all of a sudden, you stop and tell her you need to pee. You touch a girl on a date and excitedly tell her how happy you are to touch her. You’re having an affair with a girl, and you ask her if she feels weird about kissing someone other than her boyfriend.

You get the drift, don’t you? This is not always your fault, but nevertheless, it’s still a huge turn off for women. [Read: How to touch a girl on a date the right way]

#5 Boring guys

Gosh, another big one on the list. Have you ever met a guy who was just too boring? Now I don’t mean nerdy or geeky, those types can be great guys and even better boyfriend materials. I’m talking about boring guys whose company can kill you in no time.

All girls and guys have experienced this at some point in their lives. We’ve all had to sit next to a guy, and his conversations were so boring that you would rather jump off a cliff. To avoid being a guy in this cliché, work your conversation around what your date wants to talk about. If you see her looking around while you’re talking, it’s time to change the conversation. If you see her eyes light up and her gestures getting animated, you’ve hit the conversation jackpot, baby! [Read: What to talk about on a date]

#6 Dumb guys

Are you a dumb guy? Yeah, of course, you aren’t. But many guys are really dumb without realizing it. Now I’m not talking about being an idiot or the village simpleton. I’m talking about guys who speak their minds on a date, without thinking about how their date would feel. If she’s looking around while you’re talking, and you realize you need to change the topic of conversation, do it discreetly. Don’t ever say, “oh, you’re getting bored, aren’t you? You can tell me, I won’t mind…”

Unless you want your date to claw her nails into the leather of her seat or crawl her toes in awkward cringing desperation, avoid being a dumb guy.

#7 Fidgety and touchy guys

Movies always portray an exaggerated version of the touchy feely guy. You don’t need to have sensitive nipples to be a touchy feely guy in real life. The worst part of being a touchy and fidgety guy is that most guys don’t know they’re that guy!

Let me give you a few examples here. Do you play with your hair, your pen, or start tapping your foot or drumming the table now and then while bobbing your head like a giraffe when you’re bored? Do you find yourself touching your chest a lot after working out for a few days? Bingo! You’re that fidgety and touchy guy. Don’t ever be touchy feely when you’re on a date, it can be annoying and at times, even creepy!

#8 Narcissists

Now we have the mirror cracking good looking boy. Any guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than his own girlfriend is a huge turn off. But we’re not stopping there. If you’re having dinner with your date, and the waiter accidently spills a bit of juice on your silk shirt, wipe it away like a man. Don’t whine about how your silk shirt is ruined and behave like a drama queen. [Read: How to be a great date]

In the world of dating, a narcissistic guy is one who’s overly bothered about his own things like his cell phone, watch, or just about anything else that belongs to him. Boy, you’re with a woman. Let her be the cynosure of your eyes!

#9 A unmannerly prick

Manner, manners. Girls like a guy who knows his manners. Now every guy should know his manners *though he should never push it and become the sensitive guy*. But that’s not it at all. There’s something even bigger.

You should be man enough to apologize or accept that you’re wrong. No guy’s a bigger sore loser or a turn off than a guy who just can’t accept his fault, but would rather throw tantrums and make a fuss and pout like a four year old. Learn to man up and remember, accepting that you’ve made a mistake is not a sign of weakness.

[Read: The right time for a guy to call after the first date]

#10 The overenthusiastic fan

Are you into video games? Sports? Or perhaps, you like your well toned muscles that could put Brad Pitt in Troy to shame. Stop talking about it for a minute. It may be football fever or anything else. But going on about it when you’re on a date is a huge turn off, unless she’s very much into the same activity. And if she doesn’t like your favorite team or doesn’t share your interest, stop trying to rouse her interest by going on talking about it. It’s just boring!

[Read: How to make out with a girl on a date]

All said and done, always remember these ten dating turn offs for women. There may be many more unique turn offs too, but it’s to each her own. Just remember these ten biggest turn offs for women, and you’d definitely stay in her good books.

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Erica Patterson
Erica Patterson
A cat lady and a yoga practitioner, Erica Patterson loves writing just as much as she loves shopping online. And when she’s offline, you’ll find her curled ...
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48 thoughts on “The 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Women”

  1. Katherine says:

    I would hate any guy who tries to get into your pants early into a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I think a man has to put forward sexual advances only if the woman gives him a few signs. For me, a guy who tries too hard is definitely the biggest turn off in a man.

    If he can’t wait for it, he isn’t worth it!

  2. Mauve says:

    Having sex on a first date or getting sexually attracted to someone isn’t bad. If the chemistry feels perfect within a few hours of meeting, I don’t see why a guy’s sexual advances can seem like a turn off. At the end of the day, a guy’s sexual advances, as long as it’s done chivalrously, is only a sign of his attraction for you.

  3. luna says:

    ok… so women are turned off by every guy?? I’m a lady and all of these types I have met you make them sound really bad and that they desperately need to change…. no one is perfect and everyone has insecurities… be yourself, easier said then done… but try.

  4. Natalie says:

    My biggest turn offs are guys who say overly mushy things way too early in a relationship, but then again I hate any type of overly sensitive feeling stuff, and would rather just have some chill guy who you can play computer games with and joke around without being so serious. Oh, and guys who are constantly trying to get you into the things that they’re into, but not the things you’re into. That usually signals you either have nothing in common and are trying to force some commonality or he’s just not interested in things you like.

    (I never knew I hated all of these things until I went out with this one guy who is literally the personification of everything I don’t like in a relationship. He’s a cool friend though)

  5. Zac says:

    I’ve met a lot of women in my life, and I’ll tell you something. Most of them were such boring princesses with so high expectations that it made them sound so ridiculous after some time that I had to let them go. The only reson that kept me from leaving them was that I was attracted physically to them (I mean sex), and thats that. You cannot expect a guy to be your Mr Right when you aren’t Mrs Right. Bye, bye princesses.

  6. DEEVE says:

    C’mon now…. so don’t be these 10 things and what do you have left? A robot with no emotions. Girls you don’t understand how hard it is to be a guy, trying to compete and impress a girl, and trying o be themselves on top of that. Don’t be so quick to judge, because I guarantee you aren’t ‘perfect’, and you shouldn’t be… either you learn to love the person for who they are, or don’t become involved with them, and certainly don’t lead them on. same applies to guys.

  7. theCARS7879 says:

    this is unrealistic and all people have insecurities and no one is perfect. Things happen in peoples life , so you never know what’s going on or happened in someone’s life. Everyone is going to have issues and a fault or more then one fault and thats just how it is.

  8. Tanna says:

    Lol i highly agree with this list. Boring/ dumb guys are the worst.

  9. Illt says:

    WTF? No guy can live up to that.

    Here is the condensed version:
    1. Look good, smell good, wear washed, matching clothes. Keep your shoes clean. [keep teeth clean].
    2. Keep the conversation about here.
    3. Remember, this is the first date. You look good, you smell good, and your keeping the conversation about her so why give a ****. Its the first date or whatever and you just met her, so what do you have to loose by not caring and over thinking this? Nothing.

  10. Harrison M says:

    Look, this list is simply unrealistic and none of the things listed are even that bad (asides from the being boring as all heck I suppose but still). If you really want the ‘Perfect Guy’ well, I hate to tell you but perfection is an impossibility and because perfection is imperfect… Well… I think you can see that true perfection is imperfection. The things that make a guy (and girl) imperfect are the best things about them. It shows how unique they really are. And for Christs sake people, is it really that hard to learn up on your partners favorite subject? No, it’s not and ladies I guarantee that your guy gets equally infuriated by not knowing anything about your favorite subject either haha so just take some time and listen or learn. Anyways, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you should love your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be. If you do that then you will see how great they really are.

  11. amor says:

    It turns me off when a guy has bad and i mean decayed teeth!

  12. unknown says:

    Women are saying that boring guys are a turn off but what if you were the boring one? Nobody is boring people, it just means they aren’t interested in whatever you are doing.

  13. sdg says:

    it’s ironic how women want it all but deserve nothing.

  14. Tammy Quinn says:

    I really disagree with this list. This is silly. Also, it didn’t mention anything about “normal” things like HYGEINE/BODY ODOR/LOOKS, like the women’s list your site for women did. I want a man that’s looking good & smelling good. I don’t care if he’s “insecure or shy”. Who cares?

  15. Curry says:

    Money will turn girls on.
    Girls want attention, women wants respect.

  16. John Campbell says:

    1. Insecure: Ask me again how you look in that dress.
    2. Oversensitive: Can’t figure out a place to eat when asked then get pissed when the guy picks.
    3. Cocky: Thinking it’s your right to make a night out (paid for by some fool) hell on the guy paying.
    4. Foot in mouth: Daily, we just don’t want to deal with an attitude over nothing. (See Oversensitive)
    5. Boring: All women are boring. Almost all of you lack relevant hobbies, (90% of American women listed shopping as their favorite hobby, 100% of men love shopping. It’s not a hobby,)and those who don’t are barely capable of producing the same level of engagement as the top 50% of males. Every one of my male friends are more entertaining than you by selection, meaning they are friends by virtue of being interesting. If for the only reason they don’t make it impossible to get laid after one of your tangents on topic whatever.
    6.Dumb: If you don’t have a medical or science degree or are pursuing one, or are in the military or construction/automotive field you are a dumb girl. Even the most menial labor job requires some direct understanding of physics or marketing and the vast majority of women lack all of the above and frequently lack the houseperson knowledge previously filled such as cooking or preservation of food. Laundry in a machine and frozen dinner in a bag does not equate to roofing or designing the space shuttle.
    7.Fidgety: Fix your make up again, adjust your clothes one more time, rummage through your purse some more, I dare you.
    8. Narcissists: You spent $300.00 this month on hair, nails, and tan but are still overweight with no real interests? Good job.
    9. Manners: I paid for your dinner, drinks, admission, clothes, place to live, car repair, car, whatever. You give me a hard time about working too much. Nice.
    10. Self absorbed egotistical clown: Oh were you not the center of attention for some of some of the day of the week? My bad, refer to #5.

  17. Loren says:

    sometimes bein cocky is good so have confidence guys

  18. John says:

    My biggest turnoff in dating is having a woman around when I’m trying to have fun. They’re always moody and whiny, and they talk too much. That’s why I no longer invite women along when I want to do something fun. They just suck the fun out of everything. Come to think of it, I’m not sure what they’re good for. Men are way better off single. And no, I’m not gay and I haven’t been dumped!

  19. Leah says:

    @John Campbell Seems like you date terrible, spoilt women. Maybe you should go out of your comfort zone and try dating women of a different type. Maybe ones that don’t look like they spent 5 hours getting ready, because they probably did and consequently have nothing to offer but their immaculate appearances.

    And maybe you should look yourself in the mirror, too. Maybe you’re not that great of a man either. Maybe that’s why the smart women aren’t going after you. Maybe you’re just as much the complain-y whiny one as the women you’re dating.

  20. jfl says:

    @John Campbell: I think you’ve hit on some hilarious truths!

  21. Joe says:

    Ugh, god where should I start. Girls want guys to not be so insecure?! I’m honest and so I take an honest look at myself and at life, and so naturally I’m insecure. I’ve always heard that girls like tall, dark, and handsome. Well I’m not tall or dark so I guess I’m not that handsome. Excuse me for feeling insecure… what a pussy I am… You have no idea how bad it actually hurts to know that a woman you’re interested in will never like you simply because you aren’t tall enough. That is I’m funny, or sincere, kind, loyal, whatever; none of that matter because… I’m not tall enough. I find it really unsympathetic and disrespectful that someone would immediately dismiss another person just because they’re insecure.

    Women want men to not be boring. Well men are probably so worried about coming off as insecure (#1) or worried about saying the wrong thing (#4) that he might not say much at all, and then he’s written off as boring. Jesus can you give men a little slack? I mean my goodness.

    All these points are so contradictory. Men need to be confident, strong, assertive, etc but if they do act that way, well then they come on too strong, or say the wrong thing or whatever. Women are so ridiculous.

  22. Mark says:

    Hahah these articles crack me up. I

  23. Akshatha says:

    The one about the manners and chivalry is definitely true. Every guy you met so doesn’t have to be a knight in sh ining armour but a guy who does l the little things-holds a door open or pulls outyour chair is definitely better than an ungentlemanly guy

  24. Francis says:

    MEN: i second mark… what u want,wen u want n how u want…..cuz if she lyks u, she lyks u….if she doesnt, she doesnt….jst b free and live life fully..

  25. Dan says:

    This article takes too long to get to the point. Point #1 assumes that every woman is cooler that a polar bears toe nails. What if she is nervous? Why is it okay for her but not for him. Nervousness and insecurity is not the same thing. It’s natural to be nervous. Especially when meeting someone for the first time. Insecurity goes much deeper. They are not one in the same. Point #1 assumes that every woman is shallow and lacks understanding. Is she really worth it if she can’t even understand why you would be nervous?

  26. Dan says:

    Point #2 is true to a point. However, women do not like guys who are stoic and don’t feel anything. A guy has to be able to feel something. Men are human beings too.

    Point #3 I agree with because I’m humble. I was raised to be grounded and always stay within myself. Arrogance is not a good quality in anyone. Especially women! Many women love humble guys! Especially women with dominant personalities.

    Point #4 If a woman is having an affair with you and cheating on her boyfriend, she’s a cheating two timer. So why should you care if you turn her off? She doesn’t deserve you or her boyfriend.

    Point #5 Depends on the woman. Some subjects fascinate women, others bore them. No man can satisfy every woman.

    Point #6 is okay if she is the type of woman who likes guys who won’t or can’t speak their minds. A guy who can speak his mind is a real man, in my opinion. That’s is if he does it intelligently without being a whiner and complainer.

    Point #8 Should she even be going on a date with a narcissist? Narcissism is considered a personality disorder and the signs become obvious in a relatively short time. Narcissists are dangerous people.

    Point #9 Manners are important in a woman too. If I feel that a date isn’t going anywhere and her manners were the reason, I will torch her! She expects me to have good manners, so I expect the same from her. I will not go easy on her either! Furthermore, you speak about manners as if they are universal in the same way. For instance, what’s considered good manners in USA may not be considered good manners in France or Germany. You must take into account race, culture, religion etc. I’m Latino, and what’s considered good manners by white American women may not be considered good manners among my people.

    Point #10 Spoken by the casual fan who never watches a single NFL game, except the Super Bowl. Now you’re all of a sudden a sports fan?

    By the way, John Campbell you are the man! You took this list and threw it back in the face of this brainless author. Way to go! Leah, you talk bad about John but the women who are reading this list are disagreeing with it too. It’s not just the men.

    Is there a chance for a list of 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Men? Of course not! Because women are perfect! They don’t need to work on anything! Yeah right! And pigs can fly!

  27. Sean Lee says:

    I read all the different types and think someone like me could actually benefit from implementing some of the other “turnoffs” into my character-type.

    For example, since I consider myself the Boring guy, I could benefit from having occasional moments of being cocky, foot in mouth, say some dumb things every once in a while, be late sometimes, etc, haha.

  28. Adrian says:

    Just make the whole date about her and you’ll be sure to get quite far.

  29. Kelly says:

    Women are too demanding and unforgiving, in most cases these days. The whole idea of impressing her is wrongheaded, especially when money is scarce.

    Switch genders around and you’ll see how slanted things are towards women in their favor.

  30. randall says:

    I gotta say, if a girl doesn’t like a guy because he is sensitive or wants to cry and show emotions, then she is just a total sexist and no guy should date her.

    Why is everyone still thinking so many cliches about men and women?There is nothing wrong with a guy being emotionally soft or caring, that’s actually a good thing and how most people should be.

  31. T Raw says:

    Women don’t know what they want but you’re right about the touchy fidgety part, I touch my chest a lot after a chest workout and I always tend to hold a girl’s hand or around her waist on the first date

  32. Tr says:

    1. Insecure
    2. Oversensitive

    Ladies watch how you treat your man. If you mistreat him, you’ll turn a well adjusted, confident man into these. You’ll then resent him and fall out of love with him.

  33. Phil says:

    Funny about fidgety as fair enough I sometimes am especially if it’s in a continuos period of work being stressful, but outside of first date only how about the playing with hair, touching you, adjusting their clothes, biting their lip, lifting one arm to scratch the other side of their head while showing their armpit. A lot of this could be considered as fidgeting or being nervous but could be considered as flirting so does it just depend on the gender?

  34. henry says:

    It’s not insecure personalities that turn women off. It’s personalities that she interprets as being insecure. Similarly it’s not secure personalities that turn her on ,but those which she interprets as being secure. I’ll leave it at that. My job is to do what I have to, to become more secure, and to appear as well as being more secure, because those two things are both important but only until I find a woman worth keeping- and a lot of women have a lot of turn offs to me. Interestingly, an insecure woman is not one of them, provided she trusts me. That in fact can be endearing. I guess its because I like a woman with strong self-esteem and everything, but if she’s too much into her independence and career, why would I want to date her or make a life with her? I’m not looking for a female body with a male role to play. That’s just not what I want (although I require her to be white). Becoming less insecure is not about changing your behavior as such as it is about conquering and accomplishing those things in life you need to as an individual, although changing your behavior might very well affect whether or not you appear to be secure or insecure.

    Now on to #2. Sensitivity. Men in our culture are damaged in so many ways. They have to find their way out of a veritable labyrinth of coercions and suggestions laced with punishments and rewards. Both are equally evil- they both turn a being into a robot zombie and they have nothing to do with the free spirit. I spit on your rewards. I choose what I want to accomplish and then I do so. When your punishments block my road to success ,I’ll blast you out of the way or endure the pain if I deem it worth it, but they don’t steer me in another direction. In fact they do, but only through my deliberate acceptance, and in terms in which I will not be made a zombie and will work to overcome your authority to punish and reward me, the source of your strength. Now men have to struggle to be free in this culture, this unnatural subsidized culture. Rob peter pay marry culture. Let the bastards grind me down, or try. Now sensitivity- in spite of this, women are there for us to enjoy and to make use of, through connection. They are not there to worship although they can be pretty impressive. They are excellent fakers, appealing to our compassion and our honor code, which we will not sacrifice, but in this culture they don’t really need our help. And in muslim and other cultures, where they really do need our help, nobody wants to give it to them anyway because they don’t want to upset the men, who are real men. We too are real men, we have just been manipulated cleverly. The first and greatest step to overcoming this is recognize it as a fact. I am all about being sensitive to women. My baby will be sensitive. I will not snip his skin, so he will be sensitive to his woman of choice’s inner regions. It’s hard here because noble men naturally feel women are their sisters, women of their race and tribe. Genetically one should sacrifice for the woman. The problem is the manipulation of the instinct, and deception of the mind or senses. Crocodile tears. Mama’s advice and pleadings. And if you don’t, they’ll call you hitler (who wasn’t actually as bad as they portray). The bottom line, we live in a sick culture, which is selecting for non-noble traits. I’m not even deeply attracted to many of the women – I am just enticed by them. They keep their mystery to preserve and enhance attractiveness, but it only hides their normalcy. I have been to many other countries, and I have seen how different it can be. I have also seen how hard it can be to overcome the pull of gravity of your own culture and it’s system of rewards and punishments and role models and media autosuggestion, so I can’t fault anybody, especially if they’ve never left their homeland. But I declare our present state of affairs unsustainable. Implosion and being overtaken by immigration. By those who are not so sensitive. Now we need to be the warrior, not the sensitive lover. It is all about timing.

  35. lulu says:

    Did you forget the biggest turn off? When guys check out other girls right infront of you. Guys…this is a no no because this is a form of rejection. And nobody likes feeling rejected. What you are really saying when you check out other women is “I don’t really want you enough” or “there is much better than you out there” or “you’re not enough” among other ones. When you’re sending that signal to the girl you’re on a date with, she’ll assume you’re not interested in her.

  36. Tbird says:

    Here’s a big one for me: Game Playing. Especially when you think you connect with someone and he acts crazy about you all night. Then he wants to play the power game with calls.

  37. William White says:

    True but to show “too much” interest these days let’s a woman know she’s too good for him. Dating these days is sort of weird – it’s almost as if people are trying to care “just enough less” than the other person. Men AND women play these games now – it’s all about acting cool and indifferent and guarded. Really makes a person my age think “blech” when it comes to dating. I like a more honest/direct approach. “You’re nice. I like you. Let’s do things together.” Wow, to be able to be that direct again and not have to play smartphone cat and mouse games hey? Men and women both do it. Maybe it’s time to change the nature of the game… and just be real again.

  38. Screw_Globalism says:

    Best dating advice for men ??….Don’t bother !!

  39. patrick hoette says:

    preach it brother thank you very much!

  40. patrick hoette says:

    hahahahah dude you are amazing

  41. Jeremy Poo Poo says:

    If I was going to die tomorrow, I would make you the CEO of the internet it in my last will and testament. I salute you, sir !

  42. Renske de jonge says:

    Only agree with that point of watching the mirror and being more interested in himself. All those other things that are listed as turn offs are turn ons to me actually.

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