The first kiss is important. It can make or break the success of your first date and decide whether you progress to a second or not.
A first kiss isn’t just a kiss. It’s a step towards intimacy, and yet, it’s a confusing affair that could go either way.
A first kiss could lead to many more perfect kisses, or it could be the end of a budding romance. We place a lot of pressure on ourselves to get that first smooch right, but it’s important to make a good impression at the very least.
Almost everything you do for the first time is scary. You probably experience a range of overwhelming emotions, including fear, apprehension, worry, insecurity, excitement, joy, relief, and so many more. The same thing can be said when it comes to your first kiss ever, or with someone new.
We all have to do it at some point in our lives, whether with some random person, your partner, or your friend. It is part of your learning process, and it paves the way for romantic relationships to blossom. [Read: The major first time make-out red flags that lead to a toxic relationship]
Why is the first kiss such a big deal?
You could argue that we make far too much of a big deal out of it when it comes to kissing someone new for the first time. Unless it’s your first actual kiss ever, why are you so worried? Even if it is your first-ever kiss, why not focus on the positives – it’s a fun thing to do and a memorable milestone.
Kissing is just showing affection. So, you could argue that any kiss is good because any form of showing affection is good. But, we all know that a bad kiss can basically put the brakes on any future relationship. If you’ve ever had a terrible kiss with someone, you’ll know that it tends to linger in the mind.
Perhaps that’s the reason why we place so much pressure on ourselves that first time with someone new. We’re worried they’re going to be a terrible kisser and all that flirtation and fun will be wasted. Or, even worse, you worry that you’ll mess up somehow and make them think the same of you! [Read: 23 kissing techniques for that heartbeat-skipping kiss]
The top secrets to make your first kiss perfect
All it takes is a little preparation and a few handy tips and you’ll be knocking that first kiss performance out of the park before you know it!
1. Plan ahead
A first kiss never pops right out of the blue. Even if it seems like an unplanned heat-of-the-moment thing, the setting you create around each other is what gives you the opportunity.
The best time to kiss a date or a friend is when you’ve spent quite a while with each other, either on a date or while watching a movie at home. That gives you enough time to warm up to each other. And most importantly, you need to find a way to get some alone time with no one around.
Plan ahead so both of you can get some alone time at the end of the date, either in the car, a lonely park bench, or at your place. [Read: 6 ways to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]
2. Build the sexual tension
Your date must want to kiss you back, or at the least, you must know that your date will reciprocate it before you try kissing. Try to sit close to your date. It’s a great way to pass your sexual vibes to them. And most importantly, speak in a low and soft voice – speaking softly is a natural turn on.
Talk about how wonderful you feel spending time with this person, or talk about how enjoyable the day was. [Read: How to get a girl horny just by sitting next to her]
3. Avoid distractions
Distractions are the bane of first kisses. You won’t believe the number of first kisses missed because of a cell phone ringing at the wrong time or a bladder full of pee.
Isolate yourself in the moment and make sure your date isn’t thinking of anything other than this beautiful moment with you.
4. Location, location, location!
Location plays a big part in a kiss. If you play your cards well, a first kiss could lead to a lot more within minutes.
If people walking past you bothers you, kiss your date in a parking lot or in your place. But make sure you keep the location in mind if you want to go beyond just a first kiss.
Even if you don’t, not being bothered by your surroundings is important. [Read: Where to kiss a girl – 15 sexiest hot spots to arouse her instantly]
Bad breath ruins any chances of a first kiss. If you’re planning to kiss your date after a garlic-infused dinner or a long drive, make sure you pop a breath mint into your mouth.
If you want to make your first kiss feel a lot sexier, drink a sip of water a few seconds before trying to kiss your date. It makes your lips feel moist and a lot more kissable.
6. Know the right kind of touch
The way you touch your new lover while trying to cozy up with them makes all the difference in a perfect first kiss. Constantly touch your date on their arms or play with their fingers. Let your date feel comfortable with and enjoy your touch.
And once you’re feeling bold enough to go for the kiss, whisper in their ear now and then or play with their hair. Nothing sends the kissing signal out better than that. [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on about a girl]
7. Help your date read your mind
If you’ve used all the tips so far and your date reciprocates your touches by touching you back or moving closer to you, you’ve done all the right things. So hurrah for you!
Now you need to let your date know that you want to kiss them. Move close to your date’s face, and wait for them to move in closer to you. If all goes well, you’ll be kissing your date and making out with them in no time.
But if your date doesn’t move closer to kiss you, it doesn’t matter. You need to create other ways to excite them sexually. Move close to them and place your palm on their cheek or graze your lips on their cheek, really close to their lips.
If your date closes their eyes to take in the sensation, they’re obviously ready for the kiss. But if they don’t respond, back off a little and give them the space they need. [Read: 15 types of kisses – Deciphering the truth behind their smooch]
8. Take it really slow
Once you start kissing your date for the first time, don’t get carried away and get aggressive instantly. Feel your date’s lips softly touch your own and spend a few seconds trying to understand who takes the upper lip or who takes the lower lip.
Trust us, that one thing alone can lead to confusions if you’re already used to a particular type of kissing. Improvise your kissing style as the seconds stretch on. [Read: 17 secrets to make sparks fly when both your lips meet for the first time]
9. Be careful when using your tongue
Don’t use your tongue immediately as you start kissing your date for the first time, but don’t keep it hidden either.
Slide your tongue in just a tiny bit until you touch your date’s lips with your tongue. If they reciprocate, you’re doing it just right.
Beyond the first thirty seconds or so, it’s okay to get a little bold and explore just a little more, very softly, of course! [Read: How to kiss with tongue and make someone crave way more of you]
10. Learn to keep your hands busy
Once you’ve got your lips busy, what do you do with your hands? For starters, place your hands on the sides or the back of your kissing mate. If you want to turn the passion on, you can run one hand through your date’s hair or move it along the neck.
When you want to get bolder, place your hands on your partner’s sides and move them along the sides of their body, inches away from any strategic locations. If everything goes well, your hands should get rather busy in a short while! [Read: How to make out with a girl and make her love it!]
11. Don’t worry about timing
First kisses aren’t measured in seconds. They’re measured in passionate moments. A perfect kiss isn’t just one kiss, it’s a series of well-timed first kisses.
Kiss your date for a few seconds, and move your head back slowly, but keep it within a few inches from your date’s face. It makes you feel more in control, and you’ll be able to read your date’s expression too.
If your date backs away, you need to wait. If they come closer and start kissing you again, they like what you’re doing.
A good technique is to move your face back just a little bit after several seconds, and come in for another kiss within a second or two. It shows that you want to kiss, so it won’t leave your date wondering if you’re not interested in kissing them.
By taking occasional breaks and moving in for a kiss again, you’ll be able to increase the passion and make your date want your kisses even more. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember if you’re kissing a friend]
12. Vary the kisses
Start with a really soft kiss, and follow them up with another soft kiss. But once the kisses start to get frequent, vary the pace and the pressure of the kisses. That’ll leave your date confused in a passionate frenzy of kisses, and they’ll start to get wilder and more aggressive too!
13. Don’t stop at the lips
A kiss may start at the lips but could end anywhere else. After a few minutes of intense kissing, don’t stagnate the game by restricting your kisses only to the lips.
Every now and then, kiss your date’s cheek, the chin, or their neck in between all the kisses on the lips.
It gives you access to more places and makes the whole experience sizzle a lot more. [Read: Stop ignoring erogenous zones – The perfect neck kisses]
14. Don’t push it
Don’t try too hard to reach out to too many places too soon. If the first kiss goes well, you know there will definitely be many more dates with many more kisses too. So unless you’re certain your date likes where your hands are going, don’t try to reach out to too many places.
Perfect the first kiss and create a memorable experience first. Letting your hands wander into your date’s pants comes later – if that’s what they want too, of course. [Read: How a guy’s size down there actually matters to girls]
15. Always watch the signs
Learn when to back off. If your date stiffens up, pulls away quickly, or seems distracted while kissing, move your head back just a few inches.
Don’t kill the mood by asking your date why they’re distracted. Just stay close to their face and focus on their neck or their ears.
If your date has something to say, they’ll say it. If they don’t say anything, get back to the lips and pucker your lips for another long series of sexy first kisses. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested in you]
16. Keep it private – before and after
Make sure you’re both somewhere private and comfortable, where there are no prying eyes. For a memorable first kiss, it needs to be in a special place, away from spectators. Then, you can focus on each other, close your eyes if you want to, and enjoy the moment.
But, that also means keeping it private afterward. Don’t go telling all your friends immediately – respect your kissing mate and keep it between the two of you – for now! [Read: How to arouse your date and make them want to kiss you already]
17. Make sure you’re on the same page
Read the room! Don’t be the one leaning in with your pouty lips while your partner or date is talking on the phone or eating.
It’s imperative you both want to kiss each other at that very moment—and trust us, you’ll know the moment when it comes. [Read: 33 subtle signs to know when to kiss a girl and pick the right moment]
Different types of first kisses, and how to navigate them
There are different types of kisses you might experience, depending upon the situation. Let’s delve into them and give you some first kiss tips to master every single one. [Read: Kissing chemistry 101 – How to kiss someone for the first time]
1. The introductory kiss
The introductory kiss is the first kiss you’ll ever have, whether your lips are truly, absolutely virginal or you are just about to kiss someone new for the first time.
Don’t let the name fool you. This type of kiss can happen as a greeting, a goodbye, or just a way to gauge your chemistry mid-date. It is a way for you to get a good sense of how the other person kisses and vice versa.
Here’s how to do it:
1. When your partner is moving close to you, lean in and meet them halfway [Read: The giveaway signs your date is ready for that first kiss]
2. Just when you’re both about to close the distance, close your eyes.
3. Tilt your head slowly to one side, right or left. Just make sure your partner is tilting on the opposite side. This prevents your noses from colliding against each other before your lips meet. If you don’t know which way your partner is going to tilt, the best way is to tilt right.
4. Gently touch your lips to your partner’s lips. Make sure your lips are just slightly apart, not *and we mean NEVER* wide open.
5. Apply a little pressure. At this point, when your partner is applying a little pressure, reciprocate with a little pressure too. [Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser and 15 foolproof remedies]
6. Hooray! You’re now kissing!
The French Kiss
This is just kissing, only with the mouth a little more open and with tongue. The rule is, if you’re using your tongue—voila!—you’re frenching.
Once you get the hang of intro kissing, your partner may move into French kissing, which means they are liking what they’re doing and how you’re reciprocating. Good job! [Read: The right way to French kiss – The dos and don’ts]
1. You will probably feel the kiss intensifying, and your partner might tease you with their tongue, or they may be opening their mouth a little bit more.
2. This is the time when you open your mouth a little too, as your partner does.
3. If you’re the one leading, you can initiate the Frenching by gently touching your partner’s tongue with your tongue, and then gently pull it back into your mouth.
4. Don’t stick your tongue into your partner’s mouth without warning, and don’t EVER stick out your tongue in and out of your partner’s mouth. [Confession: My first kiss story and how it went horribly wrong!]
5. Remember to come up for breath every once in a while.
6. Give it a few minutes *or a few intensifying intro kisses* before you go in with the French.
So things are really heating up and you find your hands all over your partner’s body—what’s next? The make out kiss. [Read: Passion killers in romance and ways to get past them]
This kiss requires smooth multi-tasking skills. Just in case you are clueless, you are making out when you have your arms around each other, your tongues are really going at it, and you are kissing for longer than 30 seconds at a time.
We don’t really need to give you instructions on this one, just let your hand wander, listen to your partner, read their reactions, and enjoy it! [Read: Simple peck or steamy makeout? What you can learn from a first kiss]
Forget the pressure and enjoy the moment!
You’ll always be nervous when you have your first kiss ever, or your first kiss with someone you really like, but it’s important to try and enjoy it too. This moment will never come around again – you’re never going to be discovering this new person in this way again, so savor the moment as much as you can.
Remember, they’re probably just as nervous as you!
[Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
These top secrets on how to make your first kiss perfect are all you need to enjoy a great first kiss with a special someone. Keep these tips in mind, and use them at the opportune moment.