People break up in different ways. It can happen gradually, but more often than not, people are victims of sudden and heartbreaking separations. The fault does not always lie with the person leaving. After all, it does take two to tango. Breakups are inevitable when the happiness you used to feel at first is no longer there and cannot be salvaged.
Being aware of the problems in your relationship is important. If it’s already too late and your man has made up his mind about ending the relationship, you can save face by knowing when and why it’s going to happen.
Why do people break up?
It’s not a definite concept – the reasons why people break up – but it does pose a big question for men and women in general. What is wrong with your relationship?
The key to a happy relationship is being happy. What makes a person happy in a relationship? Happiness comes from the little moments you both share. It comes from appreciating the person you’re with and loving them for their faults and flaws – not just their merits.
When certain criteria established at the start of the relationship stops being fulfilled, someone is bound to jump ship. Aggression, depression, resentment and dissatisfaction are only some of the things that lead to break-ups. Everyone is different so the reasons why relationships end vary. [Read: 8 steps to properly end a relationship]
The most common reasons for breaking up
Oftentimes, we only realize the reason for the breakup when the deed has already been done. By knowing some of the most common reasons, you can check if this is the case in your relationship and it can help you foresee the upcoming breakup.
#1 Someone cheated. This requires no explanation, but I’ll make a concession. Cheating is not always about finding an outlet for your repressed sexual needs or boosting a deflated ego. Some people genuinely fall in love with another person while they’re still in a relationship. [Read: Are you cheating with your heart and not your body?]
#2 The sex isn’t good anymore. Tons of relationships have ended because the sexual chemistry has fizzled out. This reason is usually also supported by several other factors that lead to the demise of a relationship. [Read: 10 sizzling ways to revive your sex life]
#3 One of you is not ready for a commitment. When your relationship goals don’t align, it can lead to a huge gap between you and your partner. Commitment, unfortunately, isn’t something that many people choose to compromise, and so they end up looking for commitment with someone else who’s ready.
#4 You realized that you don’t like each other that much. When a person realizes that they don’t see past the flaws of their partner, they bail because they think that someone better is out there for them.
#5 Your job is better than their job. Resentment can stem from not being able to meet a partner on a financial or professional level. In terms of career, some people tend to prioritize jealousy over supporting and championing their partner.
#6 Their mother said so. Families play a vital role in relationships. If your guy’s family doesn’t particularly like you, they have enough influence on him to convince him to dump you.
Those are just a few of the reasons, but why does it always surprise people when they break up? This is because it can be difficult to give a fair warning before leaving. No one can actually say, “Just so you know, I’m dumping you a week after Friday. On our anniversary. Is that okay?” It’s a painful process for both parties. That’s why it is never easy even if you’re the one leaving.
How will you know if it’s going to happen?
The signs aren’t that easy to read and they are not the definitive confirmation that your relationship is about to end. They are simply guidelines that will help you acknowledge that there is a problem within your relationship. The goal is to keep the situation from coming to a head, and possibly preventing the end of your relationship.
#1 You don’t talk anymore. You are not learning anything new about one another or you’re not enjoying the things you already know. You avoiding talking to each other, but you enjoy talking to your friends. It’s not that there’s nothing left to talk about. It’s just that neither of you want to. [Read: 25 conversation topics to make your relationship more fulfilling]
#2 Someone forgot the anniversary twice in one row. Forgetting an anniversary once can be something the offender will try never to do ever again. It makes it easier not to forget the next, but if they still forget, then they probably don’t care anymore.
#3 You don’t know where he is and you can’t reach him when you need to. There are a lot of possibilities in this situation, but the fact that he’s purposely avoiding you means that he is hiding something. What, other than his desire to simply not see you, would warrant such an absence?
#4 The relationship is stagnant. No matter what point in the relationship you’re in, there is always room for an upgrade. People need to move forward so they can explore other parts of their relationship. If they don’t, then the only direction you’ll end up moving is backwards and away from each other.
#5 You both start picking fights for no apparent reason. Isn’t this normal in all relationships? It is in a petty, PMS-induced, stressed out situation. If your partner is picking fights just to get in your face, it could lead to a blow-up. Those are usually followed by breakups.
#6 Unresolved fights. In order to have a good relationship, you need to tackle issues immediately and find agreeable solutions. If a big fight ended up being swept under the rug, then maybe neither of you is willing to fix it. [Read: 12 real reasons couples drift apart]
#7 Asking for something that one of you can’t give. It can be a child, a ring, a mortgage, a new residence or a new pet. If your personal choices are being challenged, you and your partner could be pushing each other’s limit until someone caves in and just quits.
#8 You’re not excited about each other’s accomplishments. At first, any small achievement used to call for a bunch of balloons, a party or even a bottle of champagne. If you’ve arrived at a point where you neither care nor acknowledge the good things that are happening in your lives, it could be a sign that your relationship has no bearing on your goals anymore.
#9 They look happier without you. You’ll notice these changes only if you look hard enough. When you’re with your partner, everything is dull and colorless. When you see them with other people like friends and family, they tend to perk up. It’s the same for you as well. Being happy is an instinctual reaction. You either are or you’re not. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]
#10 Instinct. People are empathic beings. The level at which they sense unease in an environment differs, but it’s there. If you feel that something is not right, don’t brush it off. Delusions and denial can keep you from seeing the signs that your relationship is going nowhere. It could be staring you right in the face, but fear of losing your loved one can trick you into thinking that everything is still all right.
It is painful to acknowledge that you and your loved one are growing apart. This is especially difficult if you’ve invested a lot of years into the relationship. The fact is that you can never predict what will happen, but you can acknowledge the signs and see if a break-up is exactly where you’re headed.
[Read: 20 sure signs that your relationship is about to end]
Being dumped when you least expect it can be one of the most painful blows your heart will take. You can prevent this from happening by listening to your instincts and by opening your eyes to the signs. If the breakup is inevitable, the best thing you can do is to just brace yourself to soften the blow.
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