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What Makes Someone a Good Kisser? 13 Qualities of a Perfect Kiss

What Makes Someone a Good Kisser

Let’s face it, a good smooch is a fantastic thing. But, do you like it slow and sensual, or fast and frantic? What makes someone a good kisser to you?

A kiss is the first sign that someone is really into you, it’s the confirmation sign that takes away all the confusion of ‘does he/she like me or not’. But what makes someone a good kisser? And how do you tell if the rest of their kisses are going to be great there on?

The first kiss can be a make or break deal, because what do you do if they’re a terrible kisser? Do you stick with it and hope they improve? Think that you can teach them your preferred way with a little instruction? Of course, it’s fun to try, but a good kiss is the benchmark of pleasure, so it’s not something you should be cutting corners on!

It can be a terrible let down when you finally get to that first knee-trembling kiss moment. They’re moving closer, they’re leaning in, they’re going to do it finally! And then, yeah, nothing. A poor kiss can be worse than no kiss at all.

[Read: 10 major first kiss red flags that can lead to a toxic relationship]

The thing is, understanding what makes someone a good kisser is all about preference and opinion. We’re all different, and we all like to kiss and be kissed in different ways.

In addition, certain kisses fit certain situations. So, if you’re in a heat of the moment passionate embrace, the kiss needs to fit the bill. It’s no good being all soft and gentle when you’re about to rip each other’s clothes off! Perhaps what makes someone a good kisser is also about knowing what type of kiss to give at the right time.

Oh, it’s so confusing!

Do you think you’re a good kisser? You’re obviously nodding your head that you are, but you’ve never kissed yourself so how can you be sure? It’s a worrying thought that you might not be as good as you think you are.

[Read: How to know if you’re a good kisser and become a much better one]

What makes someone a good kisser? 13 ways to know for sure

Let’s break it down and talk about the things which make someone a good smoocher.

#1 Choosing the right situation. Kissing isn’t all about the actual mouth to mouth action, and it’s about making the other person feel comfortable too. You’re not going to be super-happy about being tongue tied *quite literally* in the middle of your family home, right? Part of what makes someone a good kisser is to know the best time to actually move in for the moment, and not to do it at a time that isn’t appropriate.

#2 Choosing the right type of kiss. It’s also about choosing the right type of kiss for the situation at hand. Some situations require fast and furious kisses, full of heat and passion. Some kisses need to be more gentle and reassuring. Some kisses need to move up and down the scale.

It’s about knowing which direction to go, and not to choose the completely wrong pace. Let’s face it, if you’re thinking you’re about to get hot and heavy and your partner kisses you all soft and gentle without any change in pace, you’re going to wonder if you’ve got it all wrong! [Read: 19 types of gross kisses that’ll make anyone go ewww!]

#3 Reading the signs. A good kisser knows when to kiss someone. This isn’t like my first point, e.g. choosing the right situation, and it’s more about knowing when the other person wants to be kissed. It’s about reading body language and knowing the right moment in lean in.

It’s about understanding the other person enough to know that they want a smooch, right there and then. This is a huge part of what makes someone a good kisser. Being kissed when you really don’t want to be is nothing but annoying, after all. [Read: When to kiss someone – 15 subtle signs to predict the magic moment]

#4 Building up to the moment. Ah, the knee trembler. The single best type of kiss. A good kisser builds up the moment until it reaches a crescendo. This can be through verbal language, body language, looks, winks, and a general atmosphere of ‘I’m going to kiss you in a minute’.

It creates a sense of anticipation that knocks the breath out of you when it finally happens. A good kisser, an experienced kisser, knows that it’s as much about the anticipation as the actual kiss.

#5 Pressure versus not enough. There is nothing worse than thinking that you’re kissing someone, but not being too sure because they’re barely making contact. A good kisser gets the pressure just right, varying it according to the moment. Perhaps they start off gentle and fleeting, but it builds in pressure as you get more into the moment. [Read: Kissing chemistry 101 – How to kiss someone for the first time]

#6 Too fast or too slow. Speed is important too. You don’t want to go too fast and leave the other person with neck ache from trying to keep up, but you don’t want to go so slow that they get bored either. Just like the pressure point I just mentioned, it’s about choosing the right speed for the moment and varying it accordingly. A good kisser knows to slow down when things might be getting too heavy, or speed up when things start to pick up pace.

#7 The big question – tongue or no tongue. Hands up who has been kissed by someone who thought it was appropriate to simply stuff their tongue directly into your mouth without warning. It’s not pleasant, right? A good kisser knows when to slip the tongue *not all of it*, and when not to. It’s about teasing, it’s not about trying to test their gag reflex. [Read: How to kiss with tongue and avoid a gross sloppy mess]

#8 Avoiding the washing machine. Think back to your first kiss when you were young. Was it a little like a washing machine on spin cycle? Mine was, and it’s something I shudder about to the day. A big part of what makes a good kisser is avoiding the washing machine move and going for something altogether more subtle!

#9 Avoiding too much saliva. Another problem is too much of the wet stuff. A good kisser doesn’t feel the need to flood your mouth with their own saliva, and instead keeps it more about lip and mouth movement and caresses than swapping oral fluids.

#10 Alternating techniques, no predictability. A good kisser doesn’t kiss the same way every time, they know that they need to mix things up a little and keep it exciting. This alternating technique method means that there is a different kiss for every situation, and a sense of exciting anticipation before every kiss. As I mentioned before, part of the fun of kissing is the build up! [Read: The 15 types of kisses and how to decipher the truth behind each kiss]

#11 Is it all about the mouth? A kiss isn’t just two mouths pressed together and moving randomly. A kiss is about a look when you pull apart, only to join back together once more. It’s about stroking the face, it’s about pressing your bodies together closely. It’s not about just what is going on in the mouth area! A good kisser knows this.

#12 What do they do with their hands? I’ve just mentioned that kissing isn’t just about the mouth and lips, it’s about the whole package too. So, if you’ve ever kissed someone who just couldn’t keep their hands in one place, you’ll know how distracting it is!

I’m not suggesting that roaming hands aren’t a good thing, but it depends entirely on the situation. Someone who thinks it’s okay to feel you up every time they kiss you really isn’t that mature, and you should probably think carefully about whether you want to kiss them again! [Read: 15 secrets to make a first kiss really memorable]

#13 Leaving you wanting more. The final step in deciding what makes someone a good kisser is about how they leave it. Do they leave you wanting more? Do they leave you panting in anticipation? That’s the sign of a great kisser!

[Read: The perfect first kiss – 22 details that’ll ensure you have the best smooch]

What makes someone a good kisser is a completely personal preference, but overall, the points above sum it up completely. Finding a partner who kisses the breath from your lungs, in the best possible way, is a truly wonderful thing!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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