Hickeys get a bad reputation. But if you know how to give a hickey the right way, they can be extremely sexy and erotic. Here’s how to do it.
Remember those days when we thought people with hickeys were cool? That they were having way more fun making out with hot people and all the good stuff we couldn’t do just yet? They became a symbol of adulthood, really. But now not everyone even know how to give a hickey.
Because they became taboo for a while. People wrote them off as trashy and disgusting. But in reality, they’re a really fun, sexy way of getting intimate with your partner.
Once taboo things can be really sexy nowadays
The truth is that everyone likes different stuff. Not everyone will like hickeys while others will completely love them. You really have to figure out what things that were once considered taboo you want to give a try.
And even stuff that’s still considered “naughty.” Because you never know what will be the one thing that gets you going the most. The stuff that others shame might be something you can’t get enough of. The only way to know is to try. [Read: Top 10 taboo sex topics we love but don’t talk about]
How to give a hickey the right way
If you think you can just suck away at someone’s skin, you’re wrong. Not knowing how to give a hickey can result in a lot of pain for your partner. Make sure you’re doing it the right way so they can feel the true pleasure that hickeys can provide.
#1 Make sure they want one. You can’t just give a hickey to someone who really doesn’t want one. It’s not your job to convince them to enjoy it by going for it without their permission.
The thing with hickeys is that they’re a mark on a person’s body. They don’t just go away overnight either. You have to be sure the other person is into it before you can show them how great it is.
#2 Build up to it. Nobody likes a hickey right off the bat. It’s definitely a form of foreplay but you also want to work up to the hickey. Basically, you want to get them warmed up for it.
#3 Kiss their neck for a while. This is the idea behind getting their neck warmed up – if their neck is where you’ll be giving the hickey. You want to make sure they’re in the right mood for it, too.
So go ahead and just make out with them for a bit. Then work your way down to their neck, giving them both soft and rougher kisses. Do what they like and you’ll see their eagerness for you to keep going.
#4 Nibble on their neck. Now that they’re all warmed up, go ahead and take some of their neck skin between your teeth. Obviously, you won’t be doing this very hard. The teeth don’t give the hickey, so don’t injure them this way.
#5 Diversify your attention. The neck isn’t the only area that you should be paying attention to. The key with giving a great hickey is to keep them guessing. They should never know where the actual hickey will be.
So diversify your attention by kissing them all over. Move from their mouth to their ear to their neck to their collarbone and even further down. The idea is to get in the mood for far more than just a hickey.
#6 Lightly suck at first. Hickeys are made by the sucking pressure. Just kissing isn’t enough to give a hickey unless the person actually sucks really hard. So start out with small amounts of pressure and suck a little in between kisses.
The harder you do it, the deeper the hickey mark. But the harder you suck, the more it hurts too. You don’t want them to feel pain so gradually work up to the hickey with light pressure. [Read: How to engage in foreplay the right way]
#7 Determine how sensitive their skin is. As you’re lightly sucking, take a peek at their skin in between kisses. Is it getting really red or does it stay relatively normal and only a little pink?
If they have really fair skin, they’ll get a hickey much easier and that means you’ll have to be careful not to do too much and create a bunch of them. You don’t want their whole neck covered. Be aware of their skin sensitivity and adjust your methods accordingly.
#8 Do a mix of kissing and light sucking. This is really where the pleasure comes into play. You’ll do a mix of kissing and sucking so they won’t really be able to tell when you’re giving them the hickey. Your only goal isn’t to create a dark mark on them.
You want them to enjoy the experience and that means paying attention to their other needs, too. You can also use your hands to caress different body parts so they feel extra good while you’re doing work.
#9 Gauge how much they like it. You’ll be able to tell if they like it or not. Most people who enjoy neck kisses generally like hickeys but that’s not always the case. You can even figure out if they like it afterward. Do they grimace at the hickey or are they intrigued by it?
You never want to keep trying to give someone a hickey if they really don’t want it. So if they seem uncomfortable or try to get you to stop doing it while you’re sucking on their neck, they clearly aren’t into it. Stop before they get upset. [Read: 10 signs they’re not enjoying what you’re doing in bed]
#10 Try giving them in different areas. The neck isn’t the only place to give a hickey – it’s just usually the easiest. Many women like hickeys on their collarbones or even their breasts if done with care.
You can even leave a trail of small ones down their stomach on the way to something a little more fun. It’s really up to you and what your partner likes. Just make sure they’re okay with wherever you decide to give them one.