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27 Sexy Ways to Give a Hickey, What One Looks Like & Love Bite Must-Knows

Not everyone likes getting a love bite. But if you know how to give a hickey the right way, they can be fun. Here’s everything you need to know about hickeys.

how to give a hickey

Remember those days when we thought people with hickeys were cool? That they were having way more fun making out with hot people, and doing all the good stuff we couldn’t do just yet? They became a symbol of adulthood. But nowadays, not everyone even knows how to give a hickey.

This is because they became taboo for a while. People wrote them off as trashy, even disgusting. But in reality, they’re a really fun, sexy way of getting intimate with your partner!

What is a hickey?

If you don’t know what a hickey is, it’s really just a funny name for a bruise. Also called a ‘kiss mark’ or’ ‘love bite’, a hickey is caused by sucking on a person’s skin, which breaks the blood vessels underneath. They are most likely to occur on softer, more sensitive skin in areas like your partner’s neck, chest, or shoulders.

The mark is generally dark red at first. However, it’ll develop later, and turn a brown or darker purple color. [Read: 30 Different types of kisses, what they mean, and must-avoid smooch mistakes]

Some people get hickeys really easily, depending on where it is on the body and the pigmentation of their skin.

If someone has really light, fair skin, then they will be more susceptible to hickeys than someone with a darker complexion. In fact, they might get one practically immediately after their partner sucks their skin.

Are hickies bad?

Most hickeys aren’t bad. If you are a young, healthy person who has one, then it will probably pose no risks to you at all, because essentially, it is just a bruise. However, there are some times when they could be bad – which we will go into more depth about later.

But sometimes a hickey can turn permanent. It’s rare, but it can happen. [Read: 28 Sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone passionately and deeply]

If there is excessive and continuous sucking, the use of teeth, or picking at the hickey while it’s healing, then it can form a small scar. So, it’s best not to pick at the hickey because it prevents the healing process and causes scar tissue to form.

What does a hickey look like?

A hickey will look like an oddly-shaped bruise or mark on someone’s neck *or another place on the body.* In order to figure out whether what you’re looking at is actually a hickey, look for these three factors.

1. Color

Because a hickey is a bruise caused by ruptured small blood vessels, most are shades of red or purple. They can be dark red or dark purple.

Regular bruises change color as they heal, but hickey’s color usually stays the same as they fade. [Read: 37 Kissing tips to be a really good kisser and make them want to eat you]

2. Size

Most hickeys are the size of a mouth. They can range in size, but most of them are less than one inch, which is pretty small. If the mark is larger than mouth-sized, then it’s probably just a normal bruise.

You can also find hickeys in clusters. So, if it’s a huge mark, then it’s probably several hickeys all in one spot.

3. Shape

Hickeys are usually circular or oval in shape. That’s because it matches the shape of a puckered mouth. If the mark is in a perfect circle with nothing in the center, then it might be something else like ringworm, and not a hickey. Ew!

Do hickeys hurt? 

Yes, hickeys can be painful. That’s because they are the result of kissing, sucking, and lightly biting a person’s neck or another part of the body. It can sometimes take fairly forceful sucking to form a hickey. [Read: Where to kiss a girl – 15 sexiest hot spots to arouse her instantly]

So, just like a bruise is tender and painful, a hickey can be too. Some people are more sensitive than others, but it is a physical “injury,” and those never feel very good.

Why does getting a hickey feel good?

You’re probably scratching your head right now, because we just said that hickeys can be painful. So, why would a hickey feel good? 

Well, a hickey can feel good to some people. However, it’s probably all psychological and emotional. If someone has a hickey, then that means that they had a passionate sexual encounter with another person. [Read: Stop ignoring erogenous zones – The perfect neck kisses]

And that feels good, right? So, if people love their hickeys, then it’s because it reminds them of a situation where they were having a really great time! 

Why do people give hickeys? 

Some people give a hickey in the moment of passion. It might be by mistake, or it could be on purpose. If it’s a mistake, some people say it is a “mark of passion” that is done in the heat of the moment. 

However, others say that some people give hickeys as a sign of “ownership” of the person they gave the hickey to. [Read: Make out session secrets – 18 sexy tips to make it way better and sizzle]

Of course, everyone has their own reasons for giving a hickey. But many people think that guys are the ones who do it to their girlfriends, to show other people that she is “his.” It’s like he’s saying to other guys “stay away, you can’t touch my girl!”.

This is part of the reason that hickeys can have a negative connotation to them. and why some people don’t like them. Some people see it as equivalent to cattle branding, which can be seen as degrading and inhumane.

How to get rid of a hickey

Sadly, there is no way to really “get rid” of a hickey. There’s no magical cure; the body just needs to heal in its own time. [Read: 30 sneaky, surefire secrets to get rid of a hickey fast and cover it ASAP!]

However, there are a few things you can do to speed up the healing process if you want. First, you can wrap an ice pack in a paper towel and put it on the hickey. Do this as quickly as you can after it appears. Then just repeat that throughout the day, to slow blood flow to the area.

You can also apply aloe vera and vitamin E as soon as you get the hickey. These will help the broken capillaries heal more quickly as well.

If you’ve had the hickey for more than two days, then you should not put ice on it, but rather a warm compress. Applying heat to the hickey will cause the blood flow under the skin to increase, and at that point, it can help heal it. [Read: 8 Ingenious ways to get rid of a hickey really fast!]

However, don’t apply a warm compress before 48 hours of getting the hickey – that can actually make it bigger if the blood vessels are still ruptured.

How to cover a hickey

If you can’t get rid of your hickey fast enough, then you can try to cover it up while it heals. Here are some things you can try if you need to hide one.

1. Hair

If you have long hair, this is the quickest way of covering your visible hickey. Just wear your hair down and place it over the area.

Also, your long, thick, shiny hair might even distract people from looking! [Read: How to make out – 22 secrets to leave anyone moaning in your arms]

2. Scarf

Scarves are great for hiding a hickey on your neck. It can be a fashionable one, or a winter one.

However, if it’s summertime, people might look at you a little strange if you opt for a winter scarf around your neck. Also, be careful about which material you choose so you don’t irritate the hickey and keep it from healing.

3. Turtleneck

Turtlenecks come in and out of style, but if you have one laying around, then give it a try. They are versatile and can be layered with other pieces of clothing. You can wear one alone or wear it under a jacket to hide your hickey.

4. Hoodies

Whether it’s an actual hoodie or maybe a hooded shirt or sweater, something with a hood can help. It’s especially helpful if it’s winter.

But the hickey has to be in the right spot for the hoodie to cover it up all the way. [Read: Drunk kiss – 15 types, levels of kisses, and the meaning of a drunk makeout]

5. Band-Aid

You can always reach for a band-aid to cover up your hickey too. The only problem with that is that it might be noticeable to a lot of people. Placing a band-aid on your neck isn’t a normal thing for most people, so it could be conspicuous, but it’s an option. What’s good about a band-aid is that you can stick it anywhere on the body.

6. Makeup

Makeup is a great way to hide a hickey. Heck, if it can hide pimples, then it can hide a hickey, right? But make sure you get a good color-correcting concealer and top it with some powder so it doesn’t melt off.

How long do hickeys last? 

Believe it or not, there’s not a lot of research that is done on hickeys. It’s probably because it’s not a life-threatening condition, so many studies aren’t focused on them for obvious reasons. [Read: How to be good at sex – 32 sex secrets that make you the hottest lay]

But the general consensus is that a hickey can last as long as two weeks, with one to two weeks being common. However, how long the mark stays on a person depends on several different factors.

First, how long a hickey lasts depends on how harshly that area of the body was sucked on. The more intense the suction, the longer it will last. 

The second factor that determines how long a hickey lasts is the health of the person who is affected.

The healthier the person is in terms of being well-hydrated, having good circulation, and having enough iron in their blood, the shorter amount of time the hickey will last. [Read: First time sex and the male virgin – 21 secrets to feel like a pro in bed]

How to make a hickey last longer

Let’s say that you’re proud of your hickey and want to make it last longer. Hey, everyone has their preferences, right? Well, here are a few things you can do.

Have the person who gave you the hickey suck on it again – and suck hard enough to break capillaries. When that happens, it will take longer to heal.

Or, if you can’t find the person who gave you the hickey, or it was a one-night thing, then you can try to use some sort of suction tool on yourself.

You can try a vacuum or a pore exfoliator. Stick it on your body and let it break your capillaries. [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more interesting when it’s boring and lame]

You can also do the opposite of what we suggested in the last section, when we discussed how to get rid of a hickey!

Places to give a hickey

When most people think of hickeys, they think of them as being on a person’s neck. However, that’s not the only place where someone can give a person a hickey. In fact, you can make the hickey anywhere else, as long as your partner consents.

Other places you can give a hickey include the breasts, chest, inner thigh, back, or stomach. If you do get a hickey in some of those places, it is a lot easier to hide than it is if you have one on your neck. [Read: 28 natural aphrodisiacs in your kitchen to make you horny AF]

Where someone gives a hickey depends on the person giving and receiving the hickey too. If they are just kissing with their clothes on, then the neck seems like the most likely place. But if the two people are naked, then it is easier to put it any place on the body.

How to give someone a hickey like a pro

If you think you can just start sucking away at someone’s skin, you’re wrong. Not knowing how to give a hickey can result in a lot of pain for your partner. Make sure you’re doing it the right way so they can feel the true pleasure that hickeys can provide. Here’s how to give the best hickey!

1. Make sure they want one

Just because you think it’s fun to give or receive a hickey doesn’t mean you can give one to someone who really doesn’t want it. It’s not your job to convince them to enjoy it by going for it without their permission. [Read: Dirty questions to ask your girlfriend and read her naughty mind]

The thing with hickeys is that they’re a mark of possession on a person’s body. They don’t just go away overnight either. You have to be sure the other person is into it before you can show them how great it is. Otherwise, it will be a huge turn-off for them, and they’ll have to go through the hassle of trying to hide the mark.

2. Build up to it

Nobody likes a hickey right off the bat. It’s definitely a form of foreplay, but you also want to work up to the hickey. Basically, you want to get them warmed up for it.

Plus, getting a hickey right away can often hurt. You want the skin to get prepped before having all those blood vessels popped – which is what a hickey is. [Read: Pillow humping – How to hump a pillow and the naughty ways to do it]

3. Kiss their neck for a while

This is how to get their neck warmed up – if their neck is where you’ll be giving the hickey. You want to make sure they’re in the right mood for it, too.

So go ahead and just make out with them for a bit. Then work your way down to their neck, giving them both soft and rougher kisses. Do what they like and you’ll see their eagerness for you to keep going.

4. Nibble on their neck

Now that they’re all warmed up, go ahead and take some of their neck skin between your teeth. Obviously, you won’t be doing this very hard. The teeth don’t give the hickey, so don’t injure them this way. [Read: Neck biting and other sex tricks you need in your arsenal]

Instead, just use your teeth to nibble on their neck between kisses. Switching things up can not only feel really good, but it also preps that area for a great hickey.

5. Diversify your attention

The neck isn’t the only area that you should be paying attention to. The key to giving a great hickey is to keep them guessing. They should never know where the actual hickey will be.

So diversify your attention by kissing them all over. Move from their mouth to their ear to their neck to their collarbone and even further down. The idea is to get in the mood for far more than just a hickey! [Read: How to engage in foreplay the right way]

6. Lightly suck at first

Hickeys are made with sucking pressure. Just light kissing isn’t enough to give a hickey, unless the person sucks really hard. So, start out with small amounts of pressure and suck a little in between kisses.

The harder you do it, the deeper the hickey mark. But the harder you suck, the more it hurts too. You don’t want them to feel pain, so gradually work up to the hickey with a little pressure.

7. Determine how sensitive their skin is

As you’re lightly sucking, take a peek at their skin in between kisses. Is it getting really red or is it only a little pink? [Read: Sexual foreplay – 26 lusty secrets to do it well and make them hot and horny]

If they have really fair skin, they’ll get a hickey much easier – that means you’ll have to be careful not to do too much, and create a cluster. 

You don’t want their whole neck covered. Be aware of their skin sensitivity and adjust your methods accordingly.

8. Do a mix of kissing and light sucking

This is really where the pleasure comes into play. You’ll do a mix of kissing and sucking, so they won’t really be able to tell when you’re giving them the hickey.

Your only goal isn’t to create a dark mark on them. [Read: 28 kissing tips and secret techniques to make you a much better kisser]

You want them to enjoy the experience, and that means paying attention to their other needs, too. You can also use your hands to caress different body parts so they feel extra good while you’re doing your work!

9. Gauge how much they like it

You’ll be able to tell if they like it or not. Most people who enjoy neck kisses generally like hickeys, but that’s not always the case. 

You can even figure out if they like it afterward. Do they grimace at the hickey or are they intrigued by it? [Read: The subtle signs they’re not enjoying what you’re doing in bed]

You never want to keep trying to give someone a hickey if they really don’t want it. So, if they seem uncomfortable or try to get you to stop doing it while you’re sucking on their neck, they clearly aren’t into this sort of sexual souvenir. Stop before they get upset.

10. Try giving them in different areas

The neck isn’t the only place to give a hickey – it’s just usually the easiest. Many women like hickeys on their collarbones or even their breasts if done with care.

You can even leave a trail of small ones down their stomach on the way to something a little more fun. It’s really up to you and what your partner likes.

Just see what your partner likes, and make sure they’re okay with wherever you decide to give them one. [Read: 19 Foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

How to give yourself a hickey

If you don’t have a partner to give you a hickey, then you can do it yourself. Perhaps you want to make someone jealous and think that you made out with someone – even if you didn’t. If that’s the case, then you can try these methods.

1. Pinch yourself

Since a hickey is just a bruise, you can give yourself a hickey by pinching hard on your skin. If you pinch hard enough, then it will bruise your skin just like a hickey.

However, this will hurt. You will have to pinch yourself really hard for at least 10 seconds. If it doesn’t work the first time, you will just have to repeat it until the bruise appears. [Read: 12 Underrated types of foreplay to bring some serious sizzle to bed]

2. Suck on your own skin

If you want a hickey in a place that you can get your mouth to, then just give yourself a hickey that way. The easiest place to do this is on your arms.

However, if you’re really flexible, you can do it in other places like your thigh. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Simply press your lips on your skin, and suck hard for about 20 to 30 seconds. That’ll leave a mark that’s super visible.

3. Use a vacuum cleaner

Many vacuum cleaners have a lot of different attachments. If you want to create a hickey using one, then choose the smallest attachment and use it several times in the same area.

This creates an elongated shaped hickey that will look very natural. Just make sure you’re gentle and try to make it look realistic.

4. Use a blackhead vacuum

A blackhead vacuum is great for pulling out blackheads, and they also get caught on your skin if you’re not careful with them. So, you can use this to give yourself a good hickey. [Read: What does sex mean to a woman? – What she feels and wants while having it]

5. Cupping method

Alternative medicine uses cups to create suction on different parts of the body. They are available in different sizes, so you can choose the smallest one and use that in the area where you want a hickey. Make sure you don’t create a perfect circle, or else it won’t look realistic.

6. Use makeup

You can fake a hickey by using makeup to create the illusion. This way, you can skip the pain involved. Make sure you choose the right colors so it actually looks like a natural hickey.

Eye shadows are a good choice but make sure the colors are matte and don’t have any shimmer or glitter. Choose blue, purple, or dark red.

Hickey warnings

Hickeys might seem very innocent and harmless, but there are some warnings you should consider if you are going to give or receive one. Here are some things to consider. [Read: The secrets to spoon someone and make spooning feel romantic and intimate]

1. Don’t give a hickey if your partner has hemophilia

Hemophilia is a rare disorder where the blood doesn’t clot in a normal way. The person lacks enough blood-clotting proteins, so they bleed for a longer time after an injury. So, if your partner has hemophilia, it can be a lot more dangerous for them to receive a hickey.

2. Hickeys last longer on people with anemia

Hickeys also last longer on people who have anemia. Anemia is a condition where a person lacks enough healthy red blood cells to carry enough oxygen to their body’s tissues.

It can make someone feel tired and weak. So, if they have a hickey, they might not heal the way a person without this condition does.

3. STIs

We usually associate STIs with sexual intercourse or oral sex. But believe it or not, you can get one from a hickey too.

Herpes and other orally transmitted STIs can be passed along through hickeys. So, you should know who is giving you a hickey and their sexual history. [Read: STDs 101 – The most common types and their symptoms]

4. May cause strokes or blood clots

Although it’s very rare for hickeys to have fatal or near-fatal effects, there have been a few incidences where it has triggered a series of medical events. There are a lot of important blood vessels in your neck, so you have to be careful with this delicate part of your body. Do not give your partner a hickey for more than 20-30 seconds.

5. When to see a doctor

As we said, a hickey usually isn’t dangerous for most people. However, if it doesn’t go away in two weeks, is very sore, you notice other bruises on your body, or there’s a lump over the bruise, then those are concerning signs.

In these cases, you should definitely consult with your doctor to see if you have an undiagnosed health condition going on. [Read: Top 10 taboo sex topics we love but don’t talk about]

Final thoughts

The truth is that everyone likes different stuff. Not everyone will like hickeys, while others will completely love them. You really have to figure out what things you want to give a try.

That can include stuff that’s considered “naughty.” Because you never know what will be the one thing that gets you going the most!

The stuff that others shame might be something you can’t get enough of. The only way to know is to try.

[Read: 8 ingenious ways to get rid of unwanted hickeys really fast]

Learning how to give a hickey the right way can definitely turn someone on, even if they never really thought they’d like them. These tips are the best way to make that hickey erotic, sexy, and pleasurable. 

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...