While traveling the long and winding road from Singletown to Couplesville, it’s almost a given that at some point, you’re going to come across a guy *or two* who has …how can we put this gently… the kissing skills of a dead fish. Sure, some fish are cute, but there’s not one fish that’s cuddle-worthy, dead or otherwise, and they certainly never make good kissers.
While this analogy sounds funny, the reality is a poor pucker can be a deal breaker for many women. Even if the guy is Mr. Right in all other aspects, if his kiss is a let-down, it might be reason enough to throw him back into the singles pond.
If your new honey’s lip lock leaves a lot to be desired, before you practice catch and release, try the following pucker-perfecting tips. You might just turn your bad kisser into a passionate prince charming who lights your fire with his kisses. [Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss more memorable]
How to fix a boyfriend who’s a bad kisser
Before cutting your new pucker-challenged beau loose, here are some things you can do to help him *hopefully* become a better kisser.
#1 Give the guy a chance. As exciting as the first kiss is for both of you, it is also just as nerve-wracking. You know how you feel with butterflies in your stomach and your knees all weak. It’s the same for him, and that kind of nervousness and anticipation can really interfere with the most well-intended first kiss. Before writing him off though, consider the circumstances surrounding the kiss.
Was your date visibly nervous? Was he a little tipsy? Was the environment just not conducive to a great first kiss – in public with lots of people around, at the last second before jumping in a cab, or saying goodbye at your front door in that awkward “should-I-or-shouldn’t-I-kiss-her” moment?
It could just be that your date has a case of performance anxiety, and if given the chance, will prove he’s a great kisser the next time your lips meet. Give him the chance to redeem himself by setting him up for success on the second go-round. Suggest staying in and snuggling on the couch for movie night, or plan a romantic picnic in the park complete with a blanket beneath a tree.
Any quiet, romantic setting will do as long as the two of you can focus on the task at hand without rushing. You might be surprised by his pucker prowess, and if so, awesome! If not, keep reading because all is not lost. [Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to]
#2 Show him how it’s done. You know what you like, so show him. One of the best ways to make sure your man kisses you like you want to be kissed is to lead by example. By taking charge and demonstrating how you like to be kissed, he should pick up on your cues and mimic your smooching style.
It’s important to correct his less-than-satisfactory kissing skills as soon as possible, so they don’t have a negative impact on what could potentially be a long and happy union.
#3 Mirror, mirror. If your sweetie still isn’t getting your subtle hints, it might be time to be a little more aggressive in your quest for passionate kisses. It might be time to come right out and suggest a little kissing “practice,” so to speak.
When the time is right *read: NOT after an argument or a hard day at work*, snuggle up with your honey and suggest the two of you play the Mirror Game. When you suggest it, make him understand that the purpose of the game is to learn more about what you both like the most. Don’t say anything negative like, “I don’t like the way you kiss, so let’s practice.”
Instead, explain how the game is played by saying, “First, I’ll kiss you like I like to be kissed, and then you kiss me exactly the same way. Then, you show me something you like, and I’ll do it back to you.”
If your partner respects you and values your opinion, he will wholeheartedly take the opportunity to learn more ways to please you. If he balks at the exercise, simply explain that playing the game is a great way to find out the best ways to please one another. After a few rounds of the Mirror Game, your partner should catch on to what you prefer in a kiss. If not, keep reading. There’s still hope. [Read: 12 foolproof kissing tips for that perfectly sexy smooch]
#4 Tell it like it is. Every aspect of a good relationship begins with communication. It can be tough talking about a partner’s shortcomings, but you can do so in a positive way with this touchy subject. Rather than telling him he stinks at kissing, praise him when he tickles your fancy with a particularly good pucker. Alternatively, let him know how important kissing is to you in a relationship, and how much you enjoy doing it.
By being honest and letting him know what you like and how important lip locking is to you, even the dimmest bulb should start to see the light. Plus, if he’s really into you, he’ll work hard to make sure his smooching skills are up to your expectations. When they are, don’t hesitate to let him know you really dig his kisses.
However, if at this point, your man still isn’t up to par, you may want to start thinking about how long you want to continue swapping saliva with a potential lost cause. Of course, there’s always one more thing… [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and turn him on]
#5 Practice, practice, and practice some more. Just as with any other skill, practice makes perfect. Kissing really is no different. Be sure to set aside some time during each date for some serious making out to practice those kissing skills. It’s a great way to get closer to each other, learn more about what you both like, and it’s something you both can enjoy.
As you two become more comfortable with each other, the kissing is bound to get better. If not, you will have to decide if his inadequate tonsil hockey skills are a deal-breaker or not. While being in a relationship with a bad kisser is a drag, it certainly doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed.
Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to kissing. It could just be that your new man has learned a different technique that isn’t your cup of tea. If this is the case and you can retrain him using the techniques above, then you’re well on your way to blissful, passionate happiness. Count your lucky stars that your partner has the presence of mind and desire to listen and make sure you are satisfied.
[Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser and 15 foolproof remedies]
If he still can’t get it together after you’ve tried everything, he’s probably never going to be a good kisser, and it’s decision making time for you. Only you can decide if all of his other qualities are worth keeping him for, or if it’s time to release that dead fish back into the sea of other women hoping to hook a keeper.
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