According to most studies, only between 30 and 50 percent of women can achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Even of those who can, the ones who come consistently through sex might number a small percentage.
Chances are, the woman you’re with now, or will be with in the future, will need a little something more. Read on to find out how to give it to her.
Oral sex is more than just lip service
Some men won’t even give it at all, but even of those who do, it is often a quick formality before sex. This is the wrong way to approach going down on her. Get in there, get comfortable, and enjoy it.
You should take pleasure in feeling her body tense up, in hearing her moan, and even in her taste and smell. And why not? She’s getting hot, and it’s because of what you’re doing to her. That’s very sexy. [Read: 11 hot and easy ways for men to get way better in bed!]
A woman’s vagina is extremely delicate. Countless nerve endings are packed into one area. Touch it the right way and you’ll give pleasure, touch it the wrong way and you’ll cause pain. Giving great oral sex is not easy, but if you follow these tips and techniques, you’ll find a very happy woman next to you in bed.
#1 Hygiene – His and hers. It’s no secret that there’s sometimes a smell down there. By design, the body has scent glands in the genitals just like in the armpits. Your balls have the same thing. But society has a lot more jokes about smelly pussy than about sweaty balls, so don’t be surprised if she feels somewhat self-conscious when you go down on her.
It’s fair for you to expect her to be clean, just as you should be if you want a blowjob. Take a shower together before sex to ensure you’re both spotlessly clean and smelling like roses. If it’s an ongoing problem in your relationship, it’s okay to nicely tell her she needs to focus more attention there. There should be no smell after washing. [Read: 16 ways to get a girl to give you head and really enjoy it!]
For your part, keep a clean shave or soft, conditioned facial hair. A stubble can be extremely irritating to her soft skin.
#2 Be patient. Great oral sex starts well before your face find its way between her legs. Good foreplay, done right is key to getting her warmed up and ready. A guy is like a light switch, you’re either up *turned on* or down *turned off*. Women are more like a rocket launch, a complex set of systems activated in the right order, and eventually turned on.
Diving straight in, especially with dry fingers can be quite painful to a woman. Foreplay will bring some natural lubrication to her vagina, and establish a trusting mood. Work your way slowly down her body paying close attention to her breasts. Even once you’re there, kiss her inner thighs and slowly get closer to her lips. This teasing builds her anticipation and gets her ready for what’s next.
#3 Lips on lips on lips. This is the point where most guys *those who can find it, anyway* go straight for the clitoris, but it’s not time yet. After kissing her inner thighs, give soft kisses on her outer lips. Reach one arm under her leg and around over her stomach. Let it rest on her pubic hair.
Part her outer lips with your tongue to expose the inner lips, and kiss them softly. By now they should be wet, or at least, moist. Slide your tongue over them up one side and down the other a few times, and suck very gently on the sides of the lips. [Read: 11 sexiest hot spots to kiss a woman and really arouse her]
#4 Still not time for the clitoris. Yes, there’s still work to be done before you get there. If you think of the lips as forming a long, vertical ellipse, the inside of this is what you should focus on next. As a reference, just above this ellipse, tucked into its hood is the clitoris. Just below it is the perineum, or what people often call the “taint” – that in-between-area that ain’t pussy and ain’t ass.
Push your tongue gently against the bottom of the ellipse, just above the perineum. Keeping light pressure against her, slowly run your tongue up to the top, making sure to stop before you reach the clitoris. Do the same from top to bottom, letting your tongue linger at the points, pushing against them with minimal pressure. Repeat, mixing in a few kisses, and a few more sucks on the sides of her lips.
In the bottom third of the ellipse is the vaginal entrance. Push the tip of your tongue slightly inside. The walls of the vaginal opening are extremely sensitive, always approach them slowly and gently. The tip of your tongue, being soft and wet, should give her a feeling of pleasure.
Listen for her cues, whether they’re moans, vocal, or her breathing. Sighing is good, short gasps or sudden muscle tightening are signs you’re doing something wrong. Mix the last few steps around for at least a minute or two. [Read: Foreplay done right – The art of really turning her on]
#5 Under the hood. Give a few more slow licks from above the perineum to just under the clitoris. Finally, give another lick, but don’t stop at the top – keep it going up and it will lightly graze her clitoris. Do this six times, then again but on the seventh, pull your tongue back before it reaches the clitoris.
The clitoris is all about rhythm, but at the start, giving a steady rhythm like this, then breaking it is a great tease. You will feel her body push towards you trying to get the touch it was just becoming accustomed to. Repeat this for about a minute – six full licks followed by one lick that pulls away at the last second.
Clitorises can vary greatly between women. Some are quite big, others tiny. But they’ll always be in the same place so it’s just a matter of knowing where to look. As it becomes more stimulated, it will swell and become more prominent. With the hand you wrapped around her leg and placed on her stomach, pull back slightly on the skin just above the hood and the clitoris will become more exposed.
#7 Ride the rhythm. Some women like hard pressure applied with the tongue to the clitoris, while some need a lighter touch. With more experience with the same woman, you will understand her needs better, but if you’re not sure, listen to her cues.
Try different motions to see which ones she likes best. Up and down, and circles around the clitoris work best. Some women also like a side-to-side motion. It’s okay to switch things up, just be sure to keep the rhythm.
Your tongue and jaw will get tired, at least until you are giving oral sex on a regular basis. When you need a rest, take her clitoris between your lips and give it a mini-blowjob. This will drive her wild. [Read: The man’s guide to lasting longer during sex without any difficulty]
Don’t make her feel hurried. Tell her you love doing it. Communicate and ask her what she likes and doesn’t. Keep the rhythm, keep working her clitoris and she should be getting close to climax.
#8 Magic fingers. The above steps alone are often enough, but adding in fingers can help her, and enhance the orgasm. The clitoris is a bit like a small tree, with an immense underground root system. What you see is just a small part of it, the rest runs under the skin in a wishbone shape, down along both sides of the vagina, nearly to her anus.
It may be hidden, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stimulate it if you know what you’re doing. While still tonguing her clitoris, push one finger slowly into her vagina. Leave it until she seems comfortable. Add a second finger, but note that for some women this might be uncomfortable.
Your fingerprints should be facing up, and your fingers should be in as far as the second knuckle. Bend your fingers up until they touch the roof of her vagina. You should feel a soft, spongy area there – this is the G-spot. Start slowly, giving a repetitive “come here” motion with your fingers where you continually caress this area. Keep doing this while your tongue keeps its rhythm on her clitoris and you’ll drive her wild. And this should get her to climax.
[Read: 18 awesome sex tips for men to make any woman crave for more!]
A great lover is a very good thing to be. Your partner will be more giving, and you’ll have more confidence meeting a new woman knowing that you can make her come. Giving great oral sex is the key to being a great lover, so get out there and try out these 8 tips and techniques. She’ll be glad you did, and so will you!
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