Did your partner tell you they like talking dirty? Or do you have the urge to seduce your lover with words? Learning how to dirty talk in bed is the easiest thing to do if you understand the small details that matter.
You may feel awkward or find the whole idea embarrassing to begin with. But eventually, you’ll realize that there’s nothing dirty about dirty talking, and that it’s actually really sexy and arousing. It can do wonders for your sex life, you may even start to like it! [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed!]
It’s not just about making things sexier in bed. Regular dirty talk can actually change your sex life and even your relationship if it’s something you’re both into. Believe it or not, many couples never engage in dirty talk even though it’s something that turns them both on.
Of course, it’s mostly out of fear. They don’t want to sound silly or make their partner feel uncomfortable. Really, they just don’t know how to do it and so they don’t. But they should. You should!
Talking dirty can make you both enjoy sex more. You can also learn a lot about what your partner enjoys most and that’ll help you satisfy each other. Of course, when your sex life is thriving, so is your relationship.
It’s almost like a little secret that only the two of you know. When you have that type of intimate secret, you become closer to one another and stronger as a result. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]
The biggest hurdle that many lovers experience while trying to talk dirty is initiation. Most couples just don’t know how to start talking dirty.
To make it easier for you to relate to, think of dirty talking as the first kiss in your relationship. You know you want to do it, you know your partner wants to do it. The problem is, neither of you know how to initiate it or even talk about it because it just feels too awkward!
Use these steps and dirty talk examples and you’ll see that dirty talking is just as simple as saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I want to sleep with you’! [Read: 10 different sex positions to spice it up and add a bang in bed]
If you don’t know how to initiate dirty talk, start by teasing or flirting with your partner while hanging out together. Ask your partner if they can remember the first time both of you made out. That’s a good way to talk dirty while reminiscing at the same time.
You can also ask your partner a few naughty questions, which can initiate dirty talking too. [Read: 30 questions for couples to keep the spark alive in love]
Erotic conversations are a great way to initiate dirty talk. Create a fantasy situation and ask your partner what they’d do in that scenario.
For example, ask your partner what he or she would do to you if both of you were just friends with a lot of mutual sexual tension and you were passed out drunk in their room wearing nothing. Let your imagination run to the strangest and wildest places, and your partner’s mind will follow! [Read: 30 dirty would-you-rather questions to have an erotic conversation]
Text your partner late at night and share a few kinky details, such as what you’re wearing, or how much you miss having them with you.
Before you know it *as long as you ask the right questions*, both of you may end the night in orgasms. [Read: 20 sexy text examples to start a sexy conversation and talk dirty]
If you want to feel really comfortable talking naughty or want to practice it a few times, try talking dirty to yourself before you talk to your partner. Play with yourself or use a toy, and let a few sexual fantasies take over your mind.
If you’ve had phone sex, you really shouldn’t feel awkward about trying it in person. When you’re lying in bed, talk about every single thing you plan to do to your partner before you actually do it. The anticipation you build by talking will arouse your partner a lot more.
When you’re in bed with your lover, cuddle up and have an erotic conversation with them. Tell your partner what you’re thinking about, especially if it’s something naughty and dirty.
Create a story in your mind and visualize it together, while indulging in foreplay at the same time. [Read: The best foreplay tips that always work on men!]
Don’t simply jump in and tell your partner exactly what you want to do to them, pepper with explicit language that they’ve never heard you utter before. You’ll shock the life out of them!
Instead, ease into it slowly. Try a line or two and see how it goes. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel.
They’ll probably be a little taken-aback at first, but aside from that, what can you see on their face? Is it excitement? Maybe they’re turned on already.
Watch their reaction to work out whether you’re hitting the spot or they feel awkward and uncomfortable. If so, change your tactics or conversation slightly. [Read: How to make eye contact while making sure you don’t look creepy]
Of course, dirty talk is a journey you should embark upon together, and there’s no shame in admitting to your partner that you’re a little nervous about trying it for the first time! It will make you closer because you’re trying something new together.
Just tell them that you want to try talking dirty but you’re nervous. They’ll be impressed that you’re willing to overcome your nerves and hang ups.
When you’re talking dirty, make sure that you ask questions and help the conversation to flow. It shouldn’t all be about one person doing the hard work!
Use questions like “would you like that?” “What do you want me to do?” “How would that feel?” [Read: Dirty talking in bed with your partner]
Do not attempt to talk dirty to your partner if someone is about to walk in and disrupt you! There is nothing sexy about that and it will kill the mood.
Instead, wait for a time when you’re alone and you can explore this dirty little world together.
Not everyone is comfortable with slang words for genitals or sex acts. Go with words and terms that don’t make you cringe. If you say something that you hate the sound of, it’s going to show on your face and your partner will know that you’re not comfortable.
Instead, find words and terms that you’re fine with, and use those instead. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be XXX rated to be effective. [Read: All the best things to say (and not say) during sex]
If you want to make your sex life better and wow your partner, you’ll need some examples to get you started.
Remember to keep your significant other’s preferences in mind and tailor these dirty talk examples to fit what they like best.
1. I want you to pin me against the wall and take me
2. I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop
3. Don’t touch me again until I say you can
4. What do you want to do to me?
5. Let’s play a game. I tell you where to touch me, and you do it. [Read: 10 Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend in bed]
6. Tell me what to do to you
7. I want you so bad. Here, feel
8. I need to feel you inside me
9. I need to be inside you
10. Nobody has ever made me feel the way you do
11. I only want to do one thing tonight. You!
12. Tell me what you want me to wear tonight… if anything
13. I’m feeling very naughty today. I think you’ll have to punish me [Read: How to dirty talk and turn your lover on like no one else can]
14. I get so weak just thinking about my naked skin against yours
15. Harder, baby. I want us to come together
16. I get so turned on by the thought of what we did in bed last time
17. I can’t get enough of you
18. Mmmm, I missed this
19. Remember that one time you made me come harder than ever? Do it again
20. You feel so right
21. That feels so good, I’m going to cum [Read: How to sound sexy in bed and drive your partner wild]
22. It drives me crazy when you touch me like that
23. I can’t stop thinking about your hard co*k in my mouth
24. You like it when I <insert sex act>, don’t you, you dirty boy/girl [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for sexy first timers]
25. I can’t wait to sit on your face
26. I can’t get enough of your touch
27. When I see your c*ck, my panties get wet [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy]
28. I want you to make my pussy drip
29. I love when you <name sex act>
30. I’m wet
31. I just want to rip your pants off right now [Read: 23 sexy tips to dirty talk and say all the right things]
32. F*ck me harder!
33. I want you to beg for my p*ssy / c*ck
34. When I touch myself, I think about your c*ck/p*ssy
35. I had a really naughty dream about you last night [Read: 50 really dirty and sexy things to say to a guy]
36. I’m throbbing for you
37. I want you to take control
38. What are you wearing under your clothes?
39. When I see you, I’m going to ravage you [Read: How to be a seductive tease and blow your lover’s mind]
40. Tease me until I can’t take it anymore
41. Explode inside of me
42. I love your lips all over my body
43. You feel so good against me
44. I want you to take me like you never have before
45. You sound so sexy right now
46. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than inside/on top of you [Read: How to dirty talk to a girl and NOT turn her off]
47. It makes me so wet when you get rough with me
48. You fulfill all of my fantasies and I just can’t get enough
49. Oh my god, keep doing that!
50. You turn me on more than anyone ever has before [Read: The sexiest ways to talk dirty and turn your lover on]
51. I want your head between my legs tonight
52. I want your hands on me, moving down my body, feeling every inch of me
53. I can’t wait to get you alone so I can really blow your mind
54. I just can’t control myself when I’m around you
55. When I see you later, all bets are off. You’re mine
Now that you know how to initiate dirty talking with your lover and you’ve learned a few dirty talk examples, you’ll need some extra must-know tips.
The following hints will help you master dirty talking from the get-go. [Read: 50 dirty things to say to your boyfriend and arouse him like crazy!]
The way you say something matters a lot more than what you say! Use your I’m-horny voice while whispering something in your lover’s ears. [Read: How to moan and look and sound sexy AF in bed]
Some words sound a lot sexier and arouse your partner when you say them in your horny voice.
Use words like baby, honey, sexy, dirty boy/girl, or anything else you find arousing. Even calling your partner out by their name can work them up in bed.
Don’t get biological in the words you use while describing a body part. Call his member a cock or a dick, and don’t call it a penis. And calling a vagina a vagina in bed can be scary! Pussy sounds so much sweeter.
Remember, the dirtier the name, the sexier it sounds while dirty talking. Checking out the dirty talk examples above will help you here. [Read: Why are men so obsessed with their penis size?]
Brush up your bad language. Use filthy words in bed each time you need to describe something. Screaming “I’m so f*ckin’ horny!” can sound so much sexier than saying “I’m wet.”
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should say anything you’re not comfortable with but find the right piece of middle ground that makes you horny when you say it.
It’s not just words that sound sexy and dirty. Heavy breathing, moaning, gasping, breathing into your lover’s ears, and slapping them sound just as sexy as dirty words.
Purr and go mmm mmm mmm, and scream out loud too! [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest rough sex ever!]
Order your partner to do something to you in the heat of the moment. Say something like “bite me on my neck…”, “slap my butt harder”, or “f*ck me like I’m your one night stand.”
Talk about particular body parts and say things like “I want to claw your back until you bleed!” or “I want you to squeeze my boobs hard!” Describe what you feel and what you want to do to a particular body part.
When you get into bed, transform yourself into someone new and sexy. You could be a coy sex kitten or a bossy dominatrix, or replay the lead characters of the Beauty and the Beast or a movie.
Call your partner out by their fantasy name while having sex with them, and behave just like your alter ego would! [Read: Sexy ideas to role play in bed and have a sexier time]
Think sexy and you’ll feel sexy. Confidence matters a lot while making love. If you like how you look naked, you’ll feel more comfortable doing things to yourself or letting your partner watch you.
Check out the dirty talk examples above and practice them until they feel good to you. [Read: 15 real life tips to look better naked]
Say what you feel, and don’t think too much about phrasing it right. If a thought arouses you or a dirty word makes you horny, say it out.
Talking dirty should come naturally, and if you try phrasing the words or hold thoughts back, you’d only end up feeling distracted in bed.
Dirty talking is spontaneous, and it can bring out a few weird phrases or conversations while having sex. So if your partner says something weird or bizarre, don’t use the excuse to tease your lover about it.
They’ll only feel more self-conscious about their sexual fantasies and may even withhold their fantasies or dirty words the next time you have sex. They’ll be scared you’ll use their words against them later. [Read: How to have the best sex of your life with 15 easy bedroom rules]
In order to avoid a bit of embarrassment if you’re new to this, just whisper these things in your partner’s ear. Get close, wrap yourself around them when you’re penetrating or being penetrated, and say something soft and slow in their ear, even one of the dirty talk examples we mentioned earlier.
Not only will the sensation feel great, but the words will spark something primal in them. Plus, you’re hiding your face so you’ll feel a bit more confident with your words. [Read: 10 sexy sweet nothings to whisper to your lover in bed]
If you just hone into your shyness, it could actually do you some good. Being coy and shy can be a really sexy thing for some people. It’s easy to do if you’re new to this and it can ease the tension you feel, too.
Look down slightly with your head but keep your eyes on your partner. Then, in a quiet, sexy voice, say one of the dirty talk examples above with a small smile. They’ll think you’re sexy and cute all at once.
You can’t just spew dirtiness after dirtiness. The timing is almost more important than what you actually say. If your partner is talking or doing something and you try to say something, it’ll go unheard.
And you can’t just repeat yourself. That’s awkward and the moment goes away. So choose the right time. Make sure you’re both actually engaging in something sexy and wait for the opportunity. [Read: 30 lusty lines to drive your partner wild]
It’s not enough to just say naughty things. You have to know what gets them going and what makes them the horniest. If you know they’re the type to like it from behind, then talk about how much you want them to do that.
It’s all about playing up their desires.
If you’re worried about sounding bad, awkward, or uncomfortable, just practice by yourself. There’s nothing wrong with getting in front of a mirror and saying a few dirty talk examples until they feel comfortable rolling off your tongue. [Read: 8 steps to get back your body confidence in the bedroom]
Dirty talking isn’t just for your significant other. It’s for you, too. Say things you want to and stuff that makes you feel good and confident. Think about what you find enticing and say those things.
What do you really want your partner to do to you? What’s a deep desire of yours you want them to fulfill? Think about it, and then voice those things in the bedroom. They’ll be a lot more turned on than you think.
Your dirty talk shouldn’t sound too pre-planned out or rehearsed. Instead, it should feel natural and flow at the moment. You want it to sound spontaneous and sexy.
Getting too uptight about what to say will ruin your sexual experience. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself. [Read: How to stop overthinking in a relationship and calm your mind]
It’s easier to use dirty talk when you are in a committed, trusting relationship. If you’re with a stranger or someone you don’t know too well, it can seem more awkward. The comfort level you feel has everything to do with how well the dirty talk goes.
If you’re feeling uneasy about dirty talk, then discuss it with your partner so you can feel better about doing it. You can strengthen your emotional intimacy by talking dirty.
If you want to compliment your partner in your dirty talk, you don’t necessarily have to talk about long his member is or how voluptuous her breasts are. You can keep it simple by just saying how much you love their body. Adjectives also work well too, such as hot, wet, huge, or hard.
And we mean ALL of your senses. Sometimes it can be difficult figuring out what you want to say next when you’re learning how to dirty talk. If you remember to go through your senses, that’s made a lot easier.
Simply tell them how great they feel against your hands and how much you love to taste them. Not only are these things very sexy, but they paint a vivid picture in their mind, and that will help to turn them on even more. [Read: 60 dirty and seductive things to say in bed]
Don’t talk a big game and then refuse to do the things you just talked about. Not only is it disappointing if your partner was excited about it, but it also makes anything else you say while sexy talking ineffective. They won’t believe you. [Read: The dirtiest things to say and do in bed]
If you’re already in a naughty mindset, it’ll make sexy talk a lot easier. You’re already turned on. That means you’re tapped into your primal urges, and it’ll be easier to talk about what you like and what you want from them. [Read: How to turn yourself on and get in the mood]
You know what they say. Practice definitely makes perfect. The more you sexy talk, the better you’ll get and the easier it’ll be. So just do it a lot!
Obviously, you don’t want to do it so much that your partner gets bored of it. But doing it more and more will help you get a lot more comfortable with all the dirty phrases.
It’s so easy to get wound up about the idea of talking dirty for the first time. It becomes this huge issue in your mind and you can’t break the nervousness. This isn’t a test you’re revising for and need to pass, it’s supposed to be fun!
Keep the lightheartedness in your mind, and remember that you’re doing it because you want to spice up your sex life. It’s nothing more than that.
[Read: 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]
Now that you’ve understood how to dirty talk, you’re finally ready to give it a go. Use these dirty talk examples and tips, and you’ll see just how amazing sex can feel when you use a few dirty words in bed!
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