First, let’s get one thing straight, you cannot get a girl to do anything. Stop scrutinizing these how to get a girl to sext tips if she makes it clear that she does not want to sext. Simply stop pushing and nagging.
You will not change her mind by guilt-tripping or complimenting. You can only learn how to get a girl to sext if she wants to and feels comfortable with it just like anything else.
And you also have to understand why she would feel uncomfortable. You have to be able to put yourself in her shoes. Just like sex, sexting can mean something very different to different girls.
One girl may feel totally open and happy to sext while another doesn’t. You have to respect that and let it go if she isn’t feeling it. If you cannot understand that, none of these tips on how to make a girl comfortable with sexting will work for you. [Read: How to initiate sexting and make your partner hot and horny for you]
How to get a girl to sext from the beginning
Sexting is just like sex in that you don’t just go right into it. You talk about it first. You get consent and make sure everyone is on the same page. Whether this is your girlfriend or someone you just started talking to, the same rules apply.
Do not just jump right into sexting because she said she was taking a shower like a lot of inexperienced boys do. Introduce her to the idea. Ask her if she would be comfortable doing that with you. If she says no, you do not have to ask her why. Just respect her answer.
If she agrees but is hesitant, talk about it. Make ground rules. Are pictures off limits? Are you keeping it simple or experimenting? [Read: How to start sexting when you’ve never done it before]
These are things you should ruffle out before someone takes it too far. There isn’t going back once you’ve made her uncomfortable so air it all out now.
Laying a foundation for openness is how you make sexting comfortable. You also need to make sure either one of you can put an end to it at any time and for any reason.
Sexting can be a very vulnerable thing and it can take some people a while to open up. It also just isn’t right for everyone. So, even if she agrees to it at first, she can rescind her consent at any time. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
How to get a girl to sext and feel comfortable with it
I gave you some introductory points on how to introduce the prospect of sexting to a girl. Now, if she says no, your reading ends here. If she says yes, read on to make sure it is a good experience for the both of you.
Before we get started, remember that every single girl is different. What may help one feel comfortable won’t work on another and that is her prerogative.
#1 Do not send unsolicited photos. This is a golden rule to follow. I am sorry, but no matter how proud you are of your six pack or your junk, no one wants to see it in a photo. I am here to tell you that it does not turn on most women.
And if you think it will turn her on, you’re wrong. If she does want a photo from you, she will ask. Trust me she will. You no longer have to wonder. [Read: Dick pics and why men love sending these to women]
#2 Do not ask for photos. The same goes for asking for photos. As a girl, as soon as I get this question I am immediately turned off. I find it to be very superficial, and, well, icky. Understand the pressure put on girls to turn you on while at the same time they want to feel respected and make sure those photos never get out.
You can beg and promise you’ll delete them right after, but don’t. Just don’t ask.
#3 Only do it in private. By this I mean, be alone in your room or home. Make sure no one is around. Not just for your own privacy but also for hers. If a buddy of yours catches wind of what’s happening, you are invading her privacy. Don’t be texting other people or watching TV.
Give her your undivided attention just as you would if she was physically there. She may have agreed to sext with you, but if those texts expand outside the two of you it is a breach of her trust. [Read: 16 fun emojis to make any conversation feel naughty]
#4 Take baby steps. Ease into sexting. Think of it as the foreplay before sex. Instead of getting right to what you would do if you were in bed with her, take it from the beginning. Romance her with your words.
Say what you did on the date. Talk about rose petals or candles or music. Set the scene so she feels more comfortable. Let her know you want her to enjoy sexting just as much as you.
#5 Be confident. Own your words. You want to be sure she is comfortable every step of the way, but also be confident in what you are saying. Don’t second guess yourself. Make sure early on she knows you are totally fine with her telling you if she doesn’t like something you said.
That is how you learn. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]
#6 Be respectful. I know we have covered this a lot, but I feel like it doesn’t hurt to say it again. Be respectful of her choices just as you expect her to be of yours. You can politely move on from something either one of you isn’t into.
#7 Be honest. Although this is good advice for everything, it is especially important if you have never been together in real life before. Don’t tell her your package is bigger than it is or that you have experience with things you have only seen in porn.
The benefit and attraction of sexting is that yes, it is fantasy and imagination, but it is based in truth. [Read: 16 tantalizing sexting tips to sext the right way]
#8 Ask her what she likes. If you don’t know where to start and don’t just want to blurt out something you’re unsure about, ask her what she likes. It can be PG-13 like kissing her neck or racier.
But by asking her what she’s into, you have a guideline of where to start.
#9 Open up. Share your fantasies. If you are both comfortable cranking things up a notch, share something that you want to try. Talk about things you’d never do but like thinking about.
If you trust each other fully with these more delicate topics, the sexting will be a better experience as will any physical interactions between you. [Read: 14 sexting tips to effortlessly sext like a real pro]
#10 Don’t freak out if something doesn’t flow perfectly. Things happen. Just like sex, sexting will not go off without a hitch every time. Autocorrect can turn the word fuck into duck and things can go from sexy to awkward really fast.
Instead of getting in your head about it, laugh it off and move on. These things happen. [Read: The embarrassing things that can go wrong during sex]
#11 Erase it. When you are done, delete the conversation from your phones. You may have a desire to go back to it later but don’t. Just delete it. You never know who has access to your phone. Anyone from the government to your little cousin looking for a game could see it.
It is always better to be safe than sorry.
[Read: 20 steamy texts to start a sexy conversation]
So, hopefully, you now know how to get a girl to sext and feel good about it. Enjoy your play time.
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