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What Does an Orgasm Feel Like? The Answers-Cum-Guide to the Big O

Every person on the planet is different. Have you ever wondered about what does an orgasm feel like for everyone else? Well, orgasms are individual too!

what does an orgasm feel like

Whether male or female, the orgasm is considered the holy grail in so many ways. We know that women often find it harder to orgasm than men, and some women never actually experience one at all. Have you ever wondered what does an orgasm feel like for other people, and whether yours are the same?

Most men and women wonder this from time to time, I know I have occasionally. In movies and on TV you see, mainly women, flailing their arms, screaming in pleasure, and sweating in buckets when they reach climax. Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s never been quite that dramatic for me! The fact we see these extreme scenes makes us feel somewhat lacking, are we doing something wrong?

Well ladies and gents, the good news is that no, you’re not doing anything wrong. An orgasm is as unique as you are. Sometimes it will be strong, sometimes it will be weak, sometimes you might not even have one at all. Every situation is fine, and by putting pressure on yourself to achieve those fictitious screaming orgasms, a la Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally, you’re basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get go. [Read: 25 hilarious myths about sex most of us used to believe]

The science behind an orgasm

If we’re going to get scientific about it, an orgasm is classified as a ‘sudden release of tension within the muscles and nerves, due to climax of intercourse.’ Now, I get it, that is not at all romantic or sexy, and it sounds downright functional. At its very core, that’s what an orgasm is.

Everyone has the capacity to achieve climax, but there are certain medical conditions which can hamper your efforts, such as multiple sclerosis, severe diabetes, or anyone who has had surgery within the pelvic region and nerve function has been affected. It’s also far more likely to be women than men who have a difficultly reaching the big O.

It can also come down to psychological problems, e.g. stress, anxiety, depression, or something else entirely which creates a barrier between you and your release. Most men and women find it far easier to climax by themselves through masturbation, than through intercourse.

So, perhaps if you’re struggling, it’s time to get a little handy and see where it takes you! In fact, some women easily climax by themselves, but barely, or never, through intercourse.

It seems the big O is more elusive than we’re led to believe! [Read: Describing an orgasm to someone who have never had one]

But, what does an orgasm feel like really?

An orgasm is different for every single person on this planet. It’s possible that throughout your lifetime you’ll experience several different types. Some might be fleeting, some prolonged, some so strong you’re shuddering for minutes after, and some might be quite weak, but equally as enjoyable.

What does an orgasm feel like is a difficult question to answer, but there are some common signs that you’re reaching/or at your big climax. Many men and women describe the following sensations:

– Chills or shivers

– A warmth that spreads over the body

– Tingling

– Pulsation between the legs

– Pressure building up in the abdomen which then releases and spreads like liquid warmth across the body

– A build up of energy

– The same feeling as when you reach the top of a rollercoaster and the plunge down

– A surge of electricity

– Muscles contracting, usually in the legs or toes, i.e. your leg suddenly goes completely straight!

[Read: First orgasm stories – People confess their first orgasm experiences]

However you describe what an orgasm actually feels like, 99.9% of people you ask will almost certainly tell you that it’s a wonderful feeling that can’t be replicated in any other way.

How long will an orgasm last?

Now we know what it feels like, how long does an orgasm actually last? Again, it’s a totally personal deal, and probably also depends on the way you’re feeling on that particular day. For instance, if you’re stressed out and have built up tension to release, it might take you longer to reach your climax, but when it comes, it might be a prolonged release of a couple of minutes. It depends on you and your body.

The average duration of an orgasm, either male or female, is anywhere between a few seconds and a couple of minutes. Some women in particular report the ability to be able to experience multiple orgasms. If you’re one of those women, you’re lucky, because it’s quite a rarity. Most women climax once and then that’s it, they’re ready to go back to whatever else they were doing! [Read: How to achieve the highest level of ecstasy with a full body orgasm]

What is a multiple orgasm?

A multiple orgasm is the result of the nervous system maintaining that feeling of pleasure to the point where one orgasm actually rides into another. This is not one long orgasm, it’s the rise and fall of two or more, one after the other.

Multiple orgasms are more common in women than men, for obvious reasons, but it’s not impossible for a man to experience this rare phenomenon too. It’s thought that all women have the capacity to achieve these almost mythical multiple orgasms, but very few women actually manage it.

When you consider how difficult it can sometimes be for a woman to orgasm just once, it’s no surprise. [Read: How to push the right buttons and achieve a multiple orgasm]

What to do if you’re struggling to orgasm

With all this chat about what does an orgasm feel like and how long they last, you might be feeling a little left out if you find it difficult to reach your big O. I talked earlier about how some women in particular find it hard to climax. Man or woman, if you struggle to reach your peak, there are things you can try. Learning what you like on your own through masturbation is probably the number one tactic.

How are you supposed to show or tell your partner what you like if you don’t know yourself? Play, experiment, spend some time on your own and find out what feels good to you. Once you know, try it a few more times and then tell your partner. [Read: 12 real reasons why you aren’t having a min-blowing orgasm]

Most men and women want to know what makes you feel good. They don’t want to be searching around in the dark hoping that they’re doing it right! [Read: The 15 sexy benefits of masturbation]

Stop overthinking it!

The other point to mention is that most problems with reaching orgasm comes down to thinking about it too much and stressing. I used to have this problem, I’ll admit. I was paranoid that I was taking too long and my partner was getting tired. No issue. Seriously, if the person you’re with isn’t happy to keep going until you come, then they’re not the one for you!

So, I say forget the timescale. Find out what you like and do more of that–that’s how easy it can be. Relax, spend some time building up the sexual tension before you go for it, perhaps with massage, and just chill the hell out. Stop chasing an orgasm that simply feels like being elusive. If you relax it will come, and so will you!

[Read: The intense orgasm checklist you definitely need to check out]

Understanding fully what does an orgasm feel like is difficult to pinpoint. It’s different for every single person. Enjoy yourself and your climax as a result.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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