If you want to learn how to finger a girl, that means you want to make sure she’s having the best time possible. Great! Read on to learn some useful tips.
Fingering a girl into a satisfying climax may seem easy. Once you find yourself in the critical moment, you discover it can be as challenging as defusing a bomb with all red wires. If you think gunning your fingers in like a jackhammer does the job, you’re very much mistaken. What you need is to learn how to finger a girl and bring her to the very brink of total pleasure, and you’ve come to the right place for that.
Basing fingering techniques from porn either ends up with you tiring yourself out with nothing accomplished, or a mishap involving sprained fingers or lacerated vaginal walls. *ouch!*
We’re sure a lot of you have dozens of questions, and we’re here to answer each and every one of them. [Read: 30 sexy ways to please a woman and get her addicted sexually and emotionally]
How to finger a girl – Where to start
If you want to please someone using your fingers, you need to familiarize yourself with the territory. “Where does this go?” “Oh, so that’s what that thing’s called!” and “I didn’t know you could go there!” Those are just a few of the phrases you will learn to exclaim during this crash course.
Since we’re talking about the female genitalia, most of you are probably aware that it consists of two sets of lips, the vagina which is essentially the hole, and the clitoris, the unicorn of female body parts before its actual purpose started gaining ground in the 1980’s. Learning how to finger a girl really comes down to understanding anatomy first.
The clitoris is the most important part of the outside of the vagina, but a lot of people forget that the whole vulva a.k.a. every lady bit you can see is full of nerve endings that you can use for various degrees of pleasure.
For those of you who still live in the Stone Age, the clitoris is that tiny nub between the big folds on the vagina. Some women have thick flaps covering it, while other women have clits that are exposed and pretty much open for stimulation wherever and whenever. [Read: 15 things women wish men knew about the female body]
The mystery hiding inside
Inside, you will find the inner workings of the female mystique – literally. The most important parts, however, are the cervix and the G-spot.
The number one rule is not to traumatize the cervix. So for the ladies, hold off on screaming “Deeper!” unless you’re sure that your lady bits can handle the pressure. For the guys, don’t just shove it in to see how far you can go.
The G-spot, on the other hand, is the part that you really, really want to hit. You can find it in the anterior or front wall inside the vagina. Although it’s located in one specific area only, the g-spot can encompass a small amount of surface area or engulf about 70% of the inside of a vagina.
That’s why it’s easy for some to get a g-spot orgasm and extremely difficult for others. [Read: How to hit the G-spot and make her squirm with pleasure]
How fingering works and what should you focus on
Now that you know where to find everything, it’s time for you to learn how to get things going.
Step 1 – The outside of the vagina
As we said, the outer area of the vagina, barring the clitoris, is very useful when it comes to foreplay. Simply rubbing it can elicit waves of pleasure for the most sensitive of girls.
It’s highly doubtful that you can produce an orgasm out of just rubbing the outside of a vagina, but we have heard it happening. Still, that’s not the focus of this step-by-step feature. [Read: What does an orgasm feel like? The answers and a guide to the Big O]
Step 2 – The clitoris *the little bump on top*
The clitoris is obviously the next step, but its use does not end there. The clit is involved in every aspect of the deed until it ends in a glorious climax.
Most people think that continuously rubbing the little bean is the easiest way to get someone off. The best way to do it, however, is to start slowly while building up momentum.
Step 3 – The G-spot on the inside
The G-spot is not exactly your primary goal when it comes to using your fingers, but we can totally vouch that making it necessary can be rewarding for everyone involved. The G-spot requires different levels of pressure for each person, but the best way to elicit an orgasm from it is to never lose your momentum.
No matter how slow or fast you go, the trick is to never stop until you or your partner reaches their climax. [Read: 14 amazing types of female orgasms all girls can experience in bed]
How to finger a girl and maximize her pleasure
How do you give her a mind-blowing fingering that leaves her quivering with delight? Like everything else, learning how to finger a girl requires research and practice.
The first thing to remember—not all ladies and vaginas are alike in their preference for stimulation.
The rest depends on your creativity and the level of sexual connection with your partner. Anyway, here are some tips for you to earn that “gold finger.”
1. Prepare ahead of time
Keep your fingers clean and well-trimmed. Despite the punishment vaginas take during sex, it is still a delicate organ that ladies go to great lengths to pamper. The human hand and fingers are always exposed to different types of contaminants and bacteria since we use them in any activity we do.
In order to avoid any form of infection or injury to a partner’s lady parts, keep those fingers trimmed, rounded, and clean. [Read: How to make a woman orgasm – 15 secrets to master the art]
2. Have some lube at the ready
Lube is very important for a variety of reasons. First, not all girls naturally lubricate generously even in their heightened state of arousal.
And for beginners, it is safe to have a bottle of lube to ease her with the finger action if you forgot to properly turn her on.
Lastly, if you’re aiming to go all the way to the climactic end, note that some girls achieve an orgasm later than others. By that time, her natural juices might have dried out which makes a quick squirt of lube very handy. [Read: The best lubricants for sex – 15 winners from the kitchen cupboard]
3. Know how and where she likes to be touched
Girls who touch themselves will know the perfect formula for reaching an orgasm in the most enjoyable way they can. This is an important clue to understanding how to finger a girl that most people overlook!
You can get the best fingering advice from the owner of the vagina. In addition to that, this makes for good, teasing foreplay.
Snuggle up close and ask her to guide your hand in the right places or ask that naughty girl to “confess” how she touches herself when she’s thinking of you. [Read: The best foreplay moves every guy needs to do to their ladies]
4. Adopt a comfortable position
As mentioned, girls take some time to reach the “big O.” If you’re going for the scenic route of the fingering session, you might as well be in a comfortable position to be able to sustain the stimulation until she cums.
At some point, your fingers and arms tire out, and having to shift position every now and then interrupts the stimulation. This can ruin the momentum.
5. Turn her on and make her wet
Turning her on with foreplay before fingering is a useful trick to make the experience more enjoyable for both. If she’s really turned on, she lubricates freely and she responds better to stimulation.
And of course, who wouldn’t enjoy the sight of a horny, moaning woman helpless at the mercy of your fingers? By making sure she’s horny, you easily play her like a piano with your fingers. [Read: 25 sex questions to ask a girl and make her instantly wet]
6. Keep communication open
Keeping communication open is a good way to monitor your “progress.” This can be done simply by asking her if she’s enjoying what you’re doing with your fingers.
You could also include dirty talk by telling her how you like her response to your stimulation which turns her on further.
7. Pay attention to her reactions
Most people find it hot to watch a girl’s reaction as she is fingered. But aside from this, watching her reaction tells if a particular movement of your fingers is actually pleasurable or not.
This guides you on which type of fingering technique you need to sustain to be able to bring her to an orgasm. [Read: Foreplay done right – The art of really turning her on]
8. Know her anatomy
This means knowing which parts are actually pleasurable for her when touched and what kind of touch is suited for each part. Time for some female anatomy 101.
a. The clitoris
The holy grail of the whole bunch, the clitoris is a tiny knob of flesh you find just below the beginning of the vulvar slit. The clitoris is home to thousands of nerve receptors making it very sensitive to touch. There are lots of ways to stimulate the clitoris which elicit different responses for every girl. [Read: Clitoris stimulation – The sexiest ways to please the clitoris]
b. The vaginal canal
This tube of muscle is designed to accommodate a penis and allow the passage of a fetus during birth making it very sensitive to insertion pressure.
Human fingers, on the other hand, have lesser volume compared to a penis but being moveable makes for various stimulation possibilities.
c. The G-spot
The G-spot is a spongy part of the vagina located on the anterior part of the vagina or the upper part if the woman is lying down. If stimulated properly, it provides the most mind-blowing of all orgasms. However there is no uniform way to stimulate this, and it can vary per person. [Read: How to tingle her G-spot without using a flashlight]
9. Experiment with different finger movements
As mentioned, there are many ways to finger a woman. Finding the right type of stimulation sometimes requires you to try various techniques and movements to find out which one makes her moan louder.
a. Use light, grazing touches
For the external parts such as the clitoris and the labia. Light touches to sensitive areas are good ways to turn her on and make her wet. Plus, it gives her anticipation making her receptive to aggressive fingering later.
b. Use the index and middle finger for penetration
Start off with the middle finger as it is the longest and has the farthest reach, especially when stimulating the G-spot. Using both fingers is recommended for G-spot stimulation as it covers more surface area than one finger alone. [Read: How to finger yourself – A girl’s guide to fingering herself to ecstasy]
c. Start slow and build up rhythm later
If you want to know how to finger a girl right, don’t start aggressively. Starting slow allows her to appreciate the feel of your finger inside her. This is the part where you pay attention to her reactions as it will give you a clue on when to change your pace or position.
10. Start touching everything except the clit and vagina
Don’t go for the sweet spots immediately. Build anticipation and make her beg by teasing the outsides of her vagina with your fingers, and deliberately missing the sweet spots.
11. Multitask while you’re fingering her
The more sensitive spots you stimulate, the quicker you lead her into an intense orgasm.
While your fingers are working on her lower parts, plant kisses on her neck, nibble her earlobes, whisper dirty words, or suckle her nipples. This surely drives her crazy. [Read: The goofproof moves to make a girl squirt like she’s peeing]
12. Learn to sustain fingering at the right moment
A common mistake for most is to stop right at the moment when she’s building up for an orgasm. This is frustrating for her and probably asks for a longer fingering session than normal.
This is why it is important that you pay attention to her reaction. When you notice she’s nearing climax, concentrate on the specific action or part where she feels the most pleasure until she cums.
13. Ask her to show you
All women like different pressures and techniques. If you’re still not sure if what you’re doing is hitting the right spots for her, don’t be afraid to ask for some feedback.
She’ll be happy that you’re keen to give her the best time possible and learning how to finger a girl isn’t about knowing it all straight away! Every girl is different! [Read: Mutual masturbation – 14 intimate ways to connect without touching]
14. Speed up slowly
Once you find the right speed and pressure, you can start building speed. Don’t go and start making a fire. Just increase the speed in small increments.
You’ll see that the slight difference in speed will actually start making her body convulse in a really good way. We mentioned speed building earlier but this tip is about watching her reactions and moving slowly in increments. That’s sure to get her where she needs to be.
15. Move away from the clitoris if she has had a clitoral orgasm
Hands off the clit! After a clitoral climax, it is almost impossible to use the same move before your partner’s body settles down.
Touching their sore clit after a climax can actually make them jump away sometimes. It can be ticklish, but pushing it for another orgasm can cause more pain than pleasure. [Read: The 10 most arousing erogenous zones for women all men should know]
16. Once she’s settled down, touch everything else
Even though it’s not advisable to touch the clit after a climax, there’s still a silver lining. The rest of the body is now one big nerving ending.
Kiss your partner’s neck. Blow on their skin. Lick their spine. Any subtle contact can make them convulse in waves of pleasure. Some might even come again!
17. Go for the G-spot orgasm
Giving a g-spot orgasm after a clitoral orgasm can be mind-blowing for the person on the receiving end. That’s why you need to start while they’re still coming down from the recent high of the last climax.
No need to pause and think about this. Slip that first finger in, and enjoy the show. [Read: How to achieve a G-spot orgasm – The couple’s sexy guide to ecstasy]
18. Know that finding the G-spot can be a challenge!
Once your finger is in, take a few minutes to actually find your partner’s g-spot. Don’t be overconfident and think that you already know, just because you found it on someone else before.
Feel for it and ask your partner. This can be extremely sexy as well if you deliver the statement, “Does that feel good?” perfectly.
19. At this point, rhythm is key
Once you find the g-spot and its surrounding areas, you’re ready to see this through. Start with one finger, hook the end and push the g-spot over and over slowly.
Once you see that your partner’s enjoying herself, try putting in another finger. It’s not necessary, but sometimes having small fingers requires an extra digit.
Stay on that rhythm for a minute or two, then increase the speed. Always look at your partner’s reaction. Don’t be complacent because people can still fake their orgasms. [Read: How to push the right buttons to achieve multiple orgasms]
20. Don’t be afraid to spice things up a little
Look into your partner’s eyes, throw a little bit of dirty talk in and kiss them. Do whatever it takes to keep the heat on point.
This is still an act of sexual pleasure. Don’t treat it like a task or a job. Be in the moment and enjoy what you’re doing, because your partner is probably having the time of her life.
21. Don’t give up too soon
The key to the Big O is timing. As we’ve said, the way to give an amazing g-spot orgasm is to not stop until it’s done. By this point, your partner may be extremely wet and begging for you to make her come. Don’t be afraid to give her what she needs!
Increase the speed to the maximum level that’s comfortable for her. Make sure it’s not painful! Keep doing this until your partner orgasms.
Throw in a little more dirty talk, because that always gets the job done. Et voilà . You now know how to finger a girl really well, and your work here is done!
[Read: 13 subtle sex tricks to give a girl an orgasm every single time]
Understanding how to finger a girl is not easy, but with a little curious exploration of her body, you’ll discover that fingering is as complicated as a high form of art. Giving her an orgasm with your fingers requires patience, careful attention, and a little bedroom creativity.