Eye contact is awkward, right? I mean, try it. Sit there and stare into the eyes of the person you’re sitting with right now. How long can you do it before you feel the intense need to look away or you burst into laughter? Probably not long. More awkward? Eye contact during sex.
The reason that eye contact seems so awkward is because eyes are literally the window to the soul. When you look into someone’s eyes and really hold their gaze, everything else melts away. It’s almost like the noise around you drifts and it’s just the two of you, having this moment that can’t be explained.
Of course, it’s never like that the first time you try it.
[Read: The hidden reasons you might not be getting that mind-blowing orgasm]
So, while eye contact in general might be a bit awkward in general, try taking your clothes off and getting into bed with someone, then attempting eye contact.
Yes, I am talking about eye contact during sex.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re shaking your head and refusing to try it, but hold on a moment.
What if I told you that making eye contact during sex could actually bring you closer to your partner, help you to stay focused in the moment, and could give you a far better orgasm in the end?
All of the above is true. You just need to get over the awkward part first.
[Read: Passionate lovemaking – all the sexy tenets you must try]
Why is eye contact during sex so intense?
Eye contact during sex is important and intense on many levels. Firstly, most people aren’t going to do this with someone they’re just having a meaningless one night stand with. Making prolonged eye contact with someone when you’re in such a vulnerable situation really does lay you bare in more ways than one.
You’re allowing this person to see you stripped bare, clothes gone, inhibitions out of the window, and totally open to judgement. You’re vulnerable. By holding eye contact, you’re showing them that. [Read: 13 sweet signs they’re making love to you vs. having sex with you]
Most people who are having these meaningless nights of passion keep a wall up between them and the person they’re with. That means not much in the way of eye contact and not a lot of personal information or feelings shared.
All of that is fine if you don’t want to connect with the person and if you both just want sex. No judgement, all good.
[Read: Casual dating vs. serious dating: What’s your dating speed for now?]
However, if you want more, eye contact is a way of showing that. Also, find out whether your partner wants the same thing. While it’s not always the case that if someone makes eye contact during sex they want a full-blown relationship, it is a good sign that they’re up for a little more than just one night of fun.
If you’re already in a relationship and the heat has disappeared a little, making eye contact during sex could be a great way to increase the intensity and also re-establish your connection with each other. It basically makes the whole encounter more special, more meaningful, and a lot more memorable. [Read: Eyes closed sex to eyes wide open – 16 sexy ways to open them up]
Perhaps the main reason why eye contact during sex is so important is because it can be easy for your mind to drift. That sounds terrible, I know, but we live in busy times. When you’re in the moment and trying to let go and enjoy, you’ll no doubt find that your to-do list pops into your mind, or even your ex might make an appearance in your brain. All of that does nothing for the time you’re supposed to be having. Your orgasm might go AWOL or take far longer as a result.
Making eye contact during sex keeps you present in the moment. It keeps your attention firmly on the person you’re with. So, if a wandering mind is a problem for you, this could be a great way to counteract that issue!
[Read: 10 sexy ways to get your partner in the mood for naughty romance]
Time to get a little scientific
It’s not just about being present in the moment; although, that is definitely super-important, it’s also about hormones.
Yes, hormones might be annoying and responsible for a lot, but in this case they’re very useful.
During closeness, and certainly during sex, the body releases oxytocin. This is sometimes known as the ‘bonding hormone’. It’s basically responsible for making you feel all warm and fuzzy and close to the person you’re with. When you make prolonged eye contact with someone, oxytocin is released and when you add it to the amount that’s already in your system as a result of all the sex you’re having, you’re going to feel pretty connected and tuned in to your partner. Of course, this can also make your orgasm far more likely, far better, and more reliable too. This might not be an issue for men as much as women, but for anyone at any time, orgasms can be hard to achieve.
[Read: The 32 weird and true psychological facts about love that people don’t seem to know]
Making eye contact with someone when you’re in such a vulnerable state can be hard. It can be extremely overwhelming and feel like you just can’t take it and you have to look away right now! If that happens the first time or the first few times that you try making eye contact during sex, just go with it. Keep trying. For the most part, once you get past the few first seconds, it actually becomes easier.
Some people respond to eye contact during sex by laughing, crying, or uncertainty, but it’s important not to take your partner’s response personally. Again, it’s a defense mechanism because it’s such a vulnerable position. Keep trying and remember to communicate. [Read: What is soul gazing and how to master the art of a building a deeper connection]
It might be a good idea to talk to your partner about it beforehand and explain that you want to try making prolonged eye contact during sex. They might not understand why, so explain what you’ve learned here, so they can also benefit.
Let’s be honest, anything which makes sex more enjoyable is welcome! However, if it helps to bring you and your partner closer and increases the bond between you, it’s a very beneficial thing to try. Sure, it’s awkward, and yes you might find yourself laughing for no reason, but practice makes perfect. If you find yourself suddenly crying from the intensity of it, go with it. However, don’t push yourself past any limit that makes you feel super-uncomfortable. Work slowly and see how you respond. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches that’ll help you feel connected and loved]
For a couple who want to move past problems and become closer, eye contact during sex is a great way to re-establish what you have. Equally, for a couple who have been together for a long time and have found their bedroom time becoming dull and boring, trying eye contact could help to reignite the spark and bring a greater connection as a result. For a new couple, this could be overwhelming at first but could prove to be the difference between a mediocre relationship and a pretty amazing one.
If nothing else, connecting in this way will certainly give you a far more satisfying orgasm. It will be an encounter you’re not likely to forget for a while!
[Read: Slow sex – 13 steamy reasons why it’s the best sex ever!]
Eye contact during sex is something which many people avoid. If you want to connect with your partner on a deeper level, that’s exactly what you need to allow yourself to do. Give it a try!
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