Every person walking this planet wants to know how to wow their partner in bed. But when it comes to pleasing a woman, many men fall short. We’re not saying it’s their fault, because it hasn’t been until recently that we started to talk about female pleasure, the art of clitoris stimulation, or even what women really need to get turned on!
Before, it was assumed women weren’t sexual. We still don’t know much about the clitoris, but although the clitoris may look small and insignificant, it’s one fierce body part that everyone should know. If you want to make your partner squirm with pleasure, clitoris stimulation is the way to go. [Read: Female confessions – The feeling of oral sex for women]
Okay, the first thing to master before learning how to stimulate the clitoris, is learning where it actually is.
The clitoris is a small button of nerve endings that feels super-sensitive to the touch. It has a hood of skin over the top, which can be pulled back to add further pleasure when the woman is aroused.
It is located right at the top of the vulva, where the labia meet, above the urethral opening – yes, where she pees.
While this little “button” may appear small, it actually extends behind the vulva and is directly connected to the G-spot *allegedly*! Furthermore, much like the penis, the clitoris also gets engorged once aroused, making the phrase “getting a hard on” applicable to both men and women. [Read: How to eat a girl out – 15 secrets to make her scream and squirt]
The vast majority of women, up to 70%, require clitoris stimulation during intercourse to achieve orgasm. That makes knowing how to maneuver around this sensitive little area your most important move when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
Here are a few things you should be doing in order to bring pleasure through the clitoris. [Read: The 10 most arousing erogenous zones for women all men should know]
Women’s bodies, specifically the clit, respond best to repetition. If you’re using circular motions and she’s getting into it, don’t start switching to up and down motions!
Always pay attention to your woman’s responses to know which motions she’d like you to keep doing.
Many women respond strongly to oral sex and feel that this is the only way they can orgasm with their partner. Whether you’re simply looking to get her excited or you want to show her the final destination, oral is a great starting point.
A great oral sex move is using your tongue to swirl the alphabet around your partner’s clit. This is a great way to make sure you’re moving your tongue around, and it’s also good for learning which movements your partner responds to best.
Remember not to ignore other sensitive areas of the vulva, either. Lick around the thighs, lips, and opening *if she’s into that* to give her an even more tantalizing experience. [Read: 8 tips and tricks to give her oral sex like a pro]
We know it’s important to find out what your partner likes, but it’s equally as important to find out how she likes it. There are many different ways to touch the clitoris.
A couple of ways to stimulate the clitoris include:
a. Touching with circular motions [Read: 20 physical signs of female arousal to recognize a girl feeling horny]
b. With direct stimulation
c. Massaging the clitoris while the hood is still over it
d. Rubbing it between your thumb and forefinger or between the lips of the vagina
e. Going up and down
f. Using lube and letting your fingers simply slip around [Read: How to use lubricants to liven up your sex life instantly]
7. By practicing some other technique your girl has discovered
It should also be noted that if you’re bringing your hands anywhere near the vagina, make sure your nails are clipped and clean. Unwanted bacteria can cause UTIs, which are super painful and totally not sexy. [Read: How to finger a girl – 21 delicate moves to make her wet and orgasm]
Friction is a much-needed friend to clitoral orgasms. While the name doesn’t scream hot and sexy, dry humping is an amazing way to please the clitoris.
With your girl on top of you, have her grind up against your penis. This is a great way for girls to achieve orgasm. Make sure you are both wearing underwear for maximum friction. You can do this in the missionary position too, but it will be easier for her to navigate her pleasure zones if she’s on top.
A naked version of this can also be done, but it may start to get a little slippery! If you do this naked in cowgirl position and she gets too wet to stay on track, simply switch positions or grab your penis, and start rubbing it in circles around her clit. She’ll thank you for it! [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to orgasms]
After you’ve engaged in a long, exciting session of foreplay and have your girl wet and excited, you’re probably ready to get down to business – intercourse. For many women, it is very hard to orgasm during intercourse without clitoral stimulation.
Here are some easy, sexy positions that offer great clitoral stimulation.
In this position, you have the option to reach around and play with her clitoris, or give her the opportunity to play with herself using her fingers or a sex toy. [Read: 9 ways to make doggy style your favorite position]
This is a great position for clitoral stimulation. Get into the regular missionary position and then move above her, so that your pelvis is grinding against her clit as you thrust. [Read: 8 ways to make missionary sex magical]
This position is great, whether she is in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, as she has the opportunity to find the best position to grind her clitoris against you and reach orgasm. If she’s the bouncing type, you can also use your thumb on her clitoris as she does her thing. [Read: 30 girl on top tips to make sex a lot sexier]
When in doubt, use a sex toy! A pocket rocket is a great toy to incorporate into your sex life.
It’s not intimidating and is small enough that you can use it on your partner’s clit while you’re inside her or during foreplay to get her all riled up.
Slow is okay, but fast can hurt! It must be said that this signature porn move of putting your fingers over the vagina or clit and moving it back and forth like a pendulum on speed does not feel good at all. It also makes you look incredibly amateur when it comes to your understanding of how to stimulate the clitoris.
The only time this should be done is if she is already very wet and excited. Otherwise, you’re more likely to hurt and inflame the clit. Go slow, lovers! She’s not going anywhere. [Read: 12 questions about female sexuality – finally answered]
For lovers who know what they’re doing down south of a woman, they know that the clit lies beneath its protective hood *akin to the foreskin*.
This knowledge is fantastic, but that doesn’t mean you should be rushing to pull the clitoral hood up right off the bat. Most women will find this too intense, even bordering on painful.
There is usually no need to do this if your girl is excited enough, as the clit will expand on its own when aroused and allow for marvelous, engorged touching opportunities. [Read: How to turn a girl on and sexually stimulate her mind]
Think of the clitoris like a penis for a moment. When your partner is pleasuring your penis with their hand, you want to make sure their grip isn’t moving too fast, too slow, too soft, or too hard. It has to be just right. It is the same with the clit.
Putting too much pressure on the clit is uncomfortable and definitely not pleasurable. If you have a penis, you know how sensitive its 4,000 nerve endings can be, but the clit has twice that number! The clit contains 8,000 nerve endings that, when stimulated, can affect 15,000 separate nerve endings throughout the body.
That baby’s super sensitive, so be nice! [Read: Everything you need to know about orgasmic meditation]
As much as your lover may appreciate you trying to give her endless orgasms, the clit is a fickle mistress who sometimes just doesn’t feel like more.
While the clitoris has the amazing and mind-boggling capability to bring about multiple orgasms, there are times when, once she’s been satisfied, clitoral stimulation may actually end up turning pleasure into very intense pain.
In short, check with your lady love about whether she’s down with multiple O’s before you start your very thoughtful journey back to her sweet spots. [Read: The step-by-step guide to achieving multiple orgasms]
If you don’t know this by now, foreplay is absolutely essential to making a woman see fireworks. Women need a lot of attention in the bedroom and need a certain level of arousal if an orgasm is ever going to happen.
Pay attention to her erogenous zones such as her butt, neck, breasts, and inner thighs, and don’t skimp on using your hand, tongue, sex toy, or penis *without penetration* to stimulate her clit before any sex happens! [Read: Squirting – How to stimulate a girl’s clitoris and make her squirt]
If you don’t know much about the clitoris, you should research it. Find out where the clitoris is and learn about why it’s such a crucial part of the female body.
By knowing the basics, you’ll be able to work off of it and not feel like you’re going into the situation blind.
Perhaps the way you’ve stimulated your past partner won’t work the same for your current partner. Or maybe you’ve never stimulated a clitoris before, and you’re nervous. These are perfectly normal situations, so why not talk about it with your partner?
Maybe she can help you out and she’ll be super-impressed that you care about her pleasure so much.
You may be a little nervous or unsure of what she likes, and if that’s the case, why don’t you watch your partner masturbate?
As she touches herself, you’ll be able to see what she likes, that is, if she’s someone who practices masturbation. If she is, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel; you need to focus on what she enjoys. [Read: How to masturbate – 14 sexy self pleasure tips to discover yourself]
You don’t need to perform a circus show to impress her. What many people do is try to incorporate some fancy technique or do something out of the ordinary to impress their partner. But, keeping it simple will take you much further.
Then, once you become more comfortable with stimulating the clitoris, you can experiment with new techniques and see how it goes.
You can start with one finger, but who said you had to stick to just one? While stimulating the clitoris with your fingers, move from using one finger to two, three, even a full hand. This will give even more stimulation as each finger strokes the clitoris right after the other one. [Read: How to use your fingers to make a girl orgasm]
The time to experiment is now! Of course, your go-to move will probably be to start rubbing up and down, but that’s not going to work for everyone.
When it comes to clitoris stimulation, experiment with different stroking techniques such as up and down, side-to-side, and indirect stimulation by stroking the sides of the clit or the clitoral hood. Mix these strokes up and see what combination works best.
Don’t worry about trying different things – she will tell you what she likes or doesn’t like through her moans. [Read: 21 secrets to be more sexual and fall in love with the sexy side of you]
Once you feel more comfortable with stimulating the clitoris, switch up your technique. Edging is building up to climax, and just when your partner is about to reach that point, you stop stimulating the clitoris.
This will take some communication between you and your partner, as you need to know when they’re about to climax. Start slow, build the intensity, and then pull back. You can do this for as long as your partner can handle it. [Read: What is edging? How to orgasm harder and better than ever before]
We often hear this question: how can you know when she’s enjoying herself? Oh, you’ll know. If you want to learn what your partner likes, pay attention to her reactions.
If she’s laying in complete silence, the odds are she’s not feeling it. But if she’s moaning, grabbing the sheets, and telling you she wants more, then keep doing what you’re doing. [Read: What does sex feel like for a woman?]
A good lover is an unselfish lover. By showing your partner that you want to give her the best time possible, she will want to return the favor by showing you ultimate pleasure too. You can do that by learning how to stimulate the clitoris.
Be the one who wants to give her the best orgasm possible and it will not only make your sex life ten times better, but it will probably increase your bond outside of the bedroom too.
[Read: 10 kinky sex positions for a wild night every day of the week]
There are plenty of ways to please your partner via clitoral stimulation if you learn some basic techniques and keep an open dialogue with your lover. Remember, taking the time to learn about the clit is what will take you from a mediocre partner to an amazing one!
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