5 “Creepy” Myths about Older Guys Dating Younger Women

myths older guys dating younger girls

We’re here to debunk the social stigma of an older man dating a young woman–an increasingly common phenomenon. Here are five oft-seen misconceptions.

Older men hooking up with younger women is probably as old as time itself. You might have come across a distant memory of a boring history lecture involving kings, aristocrats, or some other important figure having married someone many years his junior. Ages pass, yet it persists… but with the added bonus of hushed whispers of gossip and intrigue, questioning the motives of both the man and the woman.

This may be because most think that normal people ought to be able to find a partner within the same age range. Typically, two to five years younger is acceptable, and ten years is deviant but forgivable, but twenty years? That’s calling for a lot of attention.

If you think about it, you can’t argue with the attraction in the freshness of youth, with more reasons falling on the physical aspects; younger means more beautiful, more energy, and a higher chance of producing healthy offspring. However, those reasons would better fit the understanding of a less-evolved human whose criteria for finding a mate purely revolves around reproduction.

Misconceptions about older men dating younger women

Let’s admit it. We have all pre-judged an old-guy-young-woman couple at least once in our lives. You might see a pair hanging out in café with overt evidence that they are together. The father-daughter excuse wouldn’t work this time.

You may think the only reason an older man, with so much life experience, would consider dating a younger woman is for the sake of keeping company with someone adventurous, energetic, and full of fresh perspectives to keep his rickety bones fresh, his craggy mind running, and his bed consumed by passion.

Maybe some of these misconceptions are true *in some cases*, but then again, we can all blame bad Hollywood tropes for these kinds of ideas.

#1 The older guy is only in it for sex. It is easy to assume this, since we get the idea that a younger women equals a younger, more desirable physical figure. However, as men grow older, they tend to look for more meaningful relationships that provide emotional security, intimacy, and more time for bonding activities.

Sex is the least of their concerns–not that they’re having a “hard” time getting it up–but it is mostly younger men in their twenties who place sex in the top three on their priorities list. Older men find keepers, not sexual flings, because if they did, they could have settled for an escort service rather than a relationship. [Read: Is he into you for all the wrong reasons?]

#2 The younger woman is only in it for the money. This comes from generations of bad stereotypes where the financially-challenged young girl uses her charms to seduce an old, dying billionaire to get to the good stuff when he dies. This is pretty unfounded, since relationships with a large age gap aren’t exclusive to septuagenarian one-percenters.

For women, dating an older man comes with a lot of benefits other than money. An older guy has more life experience, so he’s pretty sure about himself, and won’t go through the jitters and indecision younger men experience. We tend to forget that women are capable of establishing their own finances, and don’t need a rich, older man to provide for them.

#3 The relationship won’t last long. This is a common misconception brought about by the first two items. On the contrary, there are thousands of successful relationships wherein the man is older than the woman. Why? Because both parties are looking for keepers. Imagine the reasons why younger relationships fall apart: lack of time, cheating, constant arguing, insecurities–you name it.

Younger women find less emotional baggage in older men who have gone through and made amends with their insecurities long ago; on the other hand, older men are fascinated with the youthful energy and fun-loving character that younger women bring into their lives. A perfect match. [Read: When does the age gap in a relationship start to matter?]

#4 Older guys who are attracted to younger women are perverts. No, as long as the guy is attracted to a woman of legal age. This misconception brought about the “dirty old man” trope that has plagued our consciousness for a long time. No, he’s not only there for sex.

You’d be surprised by how much better older men treat their partners in comparison to younger men. Older men give better attention, do not throw tantrums and fits, and would rather spend their time bonding with their significant others, rather than hanging out with their buddies and video game consoles.

#5 Dating younger women is a pain in the ass. While it may be true that younger women are prone to outbursts or mood swings during their youth, older men are usually mature enough to understand these shifts, while younger men might not be. It is also another good reason why young women prefer older men: otherwise, old men would not be dating younger women at all.

It is a common misconception that younger women are an emotional wreck and will drive you nuts with their whining and other superficial demands, when in fact, the benefits outweigh the downsides of this type of a relationship.

As the saying goes, love knows no age. There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is younger than yourself, no matter how other people see it. To each their own. If you are happy with your current relationship, pursue it and enjoy it.

Don’t let words or misguided misconceptions dictate your love life. Maybe they’re just jealous that you’re happy–and that validates your relationship more than you can imagine.

[Read: 9 reasons to date an older man at least once]

There’s nothing wrong with a relationship between two consenting adults who treat each other with love and respect. Even if the man happens to be a lot older than the woman, their relationship can still be happy, healthy, and thriving!

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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One thought on “5 “Creepy” Myths about Older Guys Dating Younger Women”

  1. stoof says:

    I’m a mature woman who just started dating again 2 years ago after 14 years of celibacy. There is a long story behind those years but nothing to do with religion or hating sex. I was just busy. Okay? Too busy for sex you say? Ikr? Anyhoo after not dating for 20 years it was astounding when I found Internet dating sites. The last time I’d dated there weren’t even cell phones and no computers in our homes either. Some friends had told me about POF so one evening I was bored and posted an ad with a stupid grainy picture. I hit enter to complete my post and BAM my inbox blew up. WTF I thought. That started a whirlwind of meeting men. I was meeting 3-4 new men every week. Sometimes 2 per day. The men were from ages 22 to 55. I was over 50 and had literally thought I’d never date again so I had no idea what I even wanted from those men. Well except for the obvious sex that I’d been missing ;). When I finally found someone I wanted to have sex with it was SO disappointing because he couldn’t stay hard. I wanted to cry and leave but I was a good sport and helped him get off. Sadly I found that Internet porn has damaged a lot of young men so ED is fairly common among men now (he was 30). The one thing I miss about the pre Internet days is that men had rock hard sustainable erections with no effort. That and they never had trouble finishing. But that’s another story. Just know that sex back in my younger days was easier. I was uninhibited back then so I had my share of experiences. What I find great about the Internet is that I meet a better class of men. Since it’s much less risky for men to approach me online I get to meet the quiet more introverted type of men. Men I didn’t really know existed because I was constantly fending off the alpha wolves. Dating was a battlefield where predatory men were always trying to score. Young people like to bash feminists but that’s because they don’t know what life was really like for women back then. You think slut shaming is bad now? Girl you have no idea what I lived through. Again that’s another story. So now here I am all growed up with kids raised a great job/income and time to focus on me for the first time in 37 years. The icing on the cake is that I have a huge pool of men to have fun with. I look young for my age. I’m healthy and in decent shape. If I feel like going out for a drink and want company I just put an ad on Craigslist and boom I get dozens of offers. And that’s in the platonic only section! Sure they are guys so they hope I’ll have sex with them but I’ve never been pressured or disrespected. Every guy I’ve met has been a gentleman. Of course I’m experienced enough with men to spot the douchebags right away so I weed them out fast. I have met some super hot men. I’ve met a lot of men who wanted a serious relationship but I’m not ready to go there yet. Horny men can be sooooo much fun. I feel so lucky to be a girl ;). Yes I’ve been stood up a couple of times or strung along by guys who are just bored or married men looking for side action but again I’m very savvy at spotting them. The majority of the time it works out great. Bottom line? Don’t worry about getting older because it only gets better. At my age I get to pick the kind of relationship I want. Guys my age want to settle down so when I’m ready they will be there. When you’re not looking for husband/daddy material the pressure is off

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