There may come a time in your life when you think about settling down. Not everyone wants to get married, of course, but it’s likely that you’ll want to make a commitment of some kind, whether legally or not. You want to let all the dating drama go and focus on husband material.
You don’t necessarily need to get married to have a husband. Sure, legally you must, but your boyfriend can become husband material and act the role even without the signed piece of paper. It comes down to qualities, how he treats you, and the type of relationship you have.
[Read: The 20 qualities in a guy that make him a really good man]
What does husband material actually mean? What does it look like? Is a guy born husband material or does he evolve into it throughout a space of time?
It really depends on the guy. One friend recently married her long-term boyfriend. I must admit, most of us were surprised that they made it that far. At the start, he was the typical bad boy. He was always out and partying, and it’s debatable whether he was truly faithful the entire time. However, we all have to give him his dues now. Over the last few years, he has completely changed. He transformed himself into what can only be described as husband material.
Why? I think he reached the time in his life when he was done with messing around and partying. Basically, he wanted to slow things down. That’s great news for my friend who now has a happy and settled life, without the on and off again relationship that plagued her 20s. [Read: The surefire ways to know if you’re dating a true gentleman]
For some guys, it’s not a case of evolving. Some guys simply are husband material from the moment they start dating. Of course, as with anything related to dating and love, what one person deems husband material might be completely wrong for another person. We’re all unique and that means we have our unique take on what we want in a husband.
To really pinpoint what it means to be husband material, let’s compare husbands and boyfriends side by side.
Now remember, some people simply don’t want to do the whole marriage thing and would rather stay co-living or whatever they want to call it. They become life partners rather than married partners, but to me, the only difference is the legal aspect.
That small disclaimer aside, what is the difference between a guy who is husband material and a guy who stays in the boyfriend bracket?
[Read: The signs he’s getting attached and ready for a real commitment]
A guy who is husband material is a little more mature. He knows what he wants, he’s ready to spend his life with one person, he’s done partying and doing stupid things *mostly*, and he’s reached the point in his life where he’s comfortable in his own skin. He also knows how to treat his partner well and is a strong and supportive influence in their life. Put simply, a guy who is husband material is a friend, lover, and partner all rolled into one.
Let’s compare that to someone who stops at boyfriend material. Now, it’s worth mentioning that some guys are very good boyfriends, but there’s just one thing that stops them from being husband material – they’re not ready. [Read: 16 clear signs he will never marry you and you’re just his maybe girl]
You cannot force a guy to be ready for life commitment no matter how you try and manage it. He has to choose that for himself. If you push it on him, he’s likely to rebel and go completely against the grain. He will get there in his own time. If he doesn’t, well, you decide whether you’re happy to wait around any longer or not.
When you compare boyfriends and husbands, the difference is solely that. They’re not ready for the life commitment and that shows in his plans for the future. It’s not what he wants right at this moment. That doesn’t mean he’s not going to treat his partner well, but there is something missing, something that takes things to the next level. Perhaps it’s safety.
When you know a guy is husband material, you know he’s going to be there for you, look after you, and support you. If a guy wants to stay firmly in the boyfriend material bracket, there’s always that slight amount of doubt.
Personally, in the end I think everyone wants a guy who is husband material, whether they’re thinking of actually getting married or not. The reason is because of the traits that make him that way. Let’s look at those in a bit more detail now. [Read: He’s not ready for a relationship right now: Should I wait or walk?]
Guys who fit into the husband material bracket have grown past the boyish stage and are mature. They know who they are, they’re comfortable in their own skin, and they don’t really give much attention to anything which wastes their time.
Someone who is husband material can be relied upon to support you through thick and thin. He’s not only your partner, he’s not only the person you can’t keep your hands off, but he’s also your best friend too. What a great feeling! [Read: Good questions to ask a guy and find out who he really is]
Everyone has good traits and bad traits, but if your guy loves you for the good and the bad and doesn’t try to change you or criticize anything that he doesn’t deem “perfect,” you’ve found a good one!
This doesn’t mean he’s going to drop everything and come running on a whim. But if you need him, he will be there, even if he has to move things around. He prioritizes you. It’s what sets him apart from guys who are boyfriend material and no more. [Read: Is he the one? How to know if he’s the guy who’ll be perfect for you]
Whenever something happens which requires a big decision or whenever he has to do something, he thinks about how it would make you feel too. Your feelings forms part of his final choice. Again, it’s about priorities. But when he considers your feelings, it means he’s husband material, for sure. [Read: How to trust your boyfriend – 12 questions to help you decide]
Boyfriends will point out a problem and tell you that’s how it is, deal with it. A guy with a husband material mentality will work with you to find a solution that suits you both. It’s a growth mentality. You can get through anything that life throws at you – together.
This relationship isn’t just about two people who are separate entities and that’s it. It’s about two people who are their own people but who are also a team. That’s what makes a relationship special. If your guy views you as his teammate in life, that’s a great sign. [Read: 15 real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]
Far too many guys lack the maturity to really sit down and talk a problem through, accepting their portion of the blame and looking for a solution. A guy who is husband material won’t accept all the blame for the sake of it, but he’s willing to admit when he’s wrong. He will communicate effectively with you to find a way through. And he won’t go radio silent and ignore your texts for days, let’s put it that way.
When you reach the point where you know that you can trust this guy completely without any concerns, you’ve met a good one. When dating, there is always that slight edge of worry, even if you think you can trust someone. And, when your relationship moves towards a life commitment, whatever that is to you, those worries ebb away. Because you know you’ve met your life partner. [Read: 22 early warnings signs of a bad boyfriend]
Finally, a guy who is marriage and husband material won’t make you feel like you don’t know where you stand, he’ll make it clear. He might not always be the most romantic guy on the planet, but you’re never left wondering whether it’s you he truly wants or not. Put simply, a guy who is husband material makes you feel secure and safe.
[Read: 25 signs of a wifey material all great guys look out for]
When you meet a guy who wants the same things as you, who treats you in the way you should be treated, and makes you feel safe and secure – stick with him. He’s husband material!
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