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How to Give Space in a Relationship Without Drifting Apart

Healthy relationships require balance and independence. Learn how to give space in a relationship and still maintain closeness.

how to give space in a relationship

Relationships can be confusing. Sometimes they need a lot of togetherness. And at some other times, relationships need space to grow. Knowing how to give space in a relationship and stay together is an art that every couple should learn.

Managing this balance perfectly is the difference between a healthy relationship and a codependent one.

Happily ever after… This is where the story ends, the curtain comes down, the screen flickers, and the credits roll. But where the fairytale ends, life begins.

But seriously, how happy is ‘happily ever after’? How real is the reel life that glorifies just attaining the girl or the guy? Life is so much more. It is also about keeping it together.

So you’ve found your prince charming or won the hand of the lovely maiden. But continuing to live happily after the fairy tale ends is another story.

And unless you pay attention to your relationship, you’ll realize that there’s a thin line that prevents a happy fairy tale from becoming a tragic tale. [Read: Stop being codependent and have a healthy relationship]

Why relationships need space

The best moments of our lives are the ones we’ve shared with someone special. Some of the happiest memories you may have usually involved a loved one. Life is always great if you have a special someone to share it with.

But then again, too much togetherness can ruin a perfect relationship too. Keeping a relationship alive needs memories and special moments just as much as you need individual memories and special moments too.

To keep a relationship fresh and exciting, you need to experience things separately and together. This can certainly make you relish your togetherness more.

Everybody needs space, and you need to know how to give and accept space in a relationship. You can’t be locked in a kiss forever. You have to come up for air. Love needs space to grow.

Even saplings have to be planted with adequate space between them if they take a firm root and grow strong. And when they grow, their branches may intermingle to provide shade and beauty, but their roots still need space. [Read: 10 scary signs of codependency in a relationship]

Does your relationship need more space?

To have a healthy relationship with your partner, you both need to understand how to give space in a relationship.

By doing that, you avoid the pain of having to hear your loved one say the words that seem to ring like the death knell to your relationship, “I want my space!”

But even if you’ve your partner say that, don’t press the panic button yet. “I want some time alone,” or “I need some space,” or “I need to focus on my career” are normal and valid cries for help and not cries of rejection.

Your partner may be screaming for space in a relationship, even if they don’t say it out loud. Does your partner enjoying doing things by themselves, or do they prefer doing something together with you? That could reveal a lot about your partner’s personality and how independent they are. [Read: Regain your sense of self outside your relationship]]

How to give space in a relationship

If you are in a relationship where both of your needs for intimacy are at different levels, you’ve got some serious balancing to do. Don’t worry, it isn’t as hard as you might think.

Increasing intimacy in the relationship is necessary, but when a man and a woman come together in a relationship and start a life together, they give up their single lives. They start a new life where they are no more separate but one in the eyes of everyone, including the law.

During the honeymoon period, the couple can insulate themselves from the world and cozy up together. But they have to come back to the real world and deal with their own issues and lives eventually. That adjustment can be hard.

Moreover, no two people share the same need for togetherness. Neither would they require the same levels or intensity of intimacy. Balancing space in a relationship is an art, as fostering intimacy requires both togethernesses and separateness.

Knowing how to give space may be extremely difficult, especially at the beginning. But considering the stakes and what you may stand to lose, you should train yourself to become adept at this art. If this is not balanced out, one person becomes uncaring or unemotional, and the other becomes needy or clingy.

Being close to each other and spending time is important, but to come closer and become better individuals, you have to understand that relationships need space to flourish. [Read: Are you giving too much? How to pull back]

Giving space and living better lives

We love spending time with our partners, but there are always times in every relationship when we need to give some space to help each other grow as individuals.

As close as both of you may be, sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t such a great thing. The first step in learning to step back is to remind oneself what we stand to lose, our own individuality. Knowing how to give space in a relationship can help you balance your time together and your own individuality.

Spending all the time together can bring both of you to close, but can damage your individuality. By sharing all the activities, you don’t really know what you or your partner enjoys doing, nor can you both evolve in your own paths as better lovers and people. You may not be trapped in love, but you’d stagnate and have nothing new to offer.

True love is blind, some say, but true love too can get boring over the years if neither of the partners has anything new or unique to share. You can spend every day with your lover, but by sparing a few hours a day for yourself you can maintain your independence. [Read: How to become a better person in your relationship]

Giving too much space in a relationship

Can there be something like giving too much space in relationships? Definitely! The dangers of too much space cannot be highlighted enough. Too much space would entail both or one partner filling their lives to the brim with other things and not maintaining a sense of connection.

This is a relationship that would soon be devoid of emotional intimacy, or this would leave one partner with feelings of being taken for granted and not cherished enough.

By understanding how to give space, beware of doing things that will destroy the relationship, like forgetting important dates, coming home late often, or ignoring your partner’s plea to spend time and hold the relationship together. [Read: 20 signs you and your partner are growing apart]

What’s the perfect balance?

There is no perfect formula here. The amount of space a relationship needs depends on the specific couple.

But the idea is simple, spend as much time as you want with your partner and let your partner do the same. But at the same time, ask yourself what you’ve done by yourself during the week. As long as you still have your own individuality and don’t need your partner around all the time to help you or keep you occupied, life is good. [Read: Dating facts]

Let go of that tightening hold on your partner, who may be gasping for space in the relationship, and focus on strengthening yourself. Learn to find your happiness within yourself because, ultimately, you are responsible for finding your own happiness.

[Read: 12 ways to find happiness]

By learning how to give space in a relationship, you’d learn to keep the excitement alive by becoming a better individual with your own special qualities and memories. And as long as you have something new to share with your lover, your relationship will stay happy and exciting!

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...