You’ve made it past the third date or the Tinder matchup, and it’s time, time to have sex with a new partner. So remember, keep these things in mind.
Honestly, most of the time when I have sex with a guy for the first time, I’ll accidentally hit them in the balls or queef – that’s all I can do. Don’t ask me if they ever call me again, you’re evading the point.
Having sex with a new partner is exciting because you want to explore them, however, it’s also terrifying. You’re trying to see if you two sexually connect, while also figuring out what they like and don’t like in bed.
Let’s just say, as fun as it is, it’s also overwhelming. Now, I’m not saying that these tips will get you the best sex, that’s up to you and your partner. But, these tips will help you enjoy the experience and calm you down since you’ll be prepared.
What you should do when having sex with a new partner
Let’s face it – having sex with a new partner is usually not a scene out of a Hollywood movie. We all want it to be, but come on, this is real life. And it can be a little more messy and complicated. But don’t worry, keep these things in mind, and you’ll be just fine. [Read: The 10 big rules of spending the first night together]
1. Get the hygiene down
You’re going to be rubbing your body against their body, so take an extra five minutes to use some soap and give yourself a good scrub.
You’ll be amazed by how people appreciate those that take care of themselves. Have you ever had sex with someone who hasn’t showered in two days? Good, I hope you never have to. It’s traumatic.
2. You decide how your genitals will look
There’s this battle between having everything completely waxed/shaved and leaving it natural. Whatever you choose, is your choice.
Don’t be swayed because you think it’s socially acceptable. You need to have your genitals look how you want them to look. I had a Brazilian wax once and I hated it, I looked like a naked mole. That being said, this self-consciousness showed in the bedroom. [Read: Trim, shave or natural? The real score on what’s best for the bush]
3. Wear something that makes you feel sexy
This doesn’t mean wearing something that is sexy. This is purely based on what you think is sexy.
If you feel sexy wearing blue underwear, then wear blue underwear. If you like boxers over briefs, wear the boxers. If you’re wearing something you feel hot in, you’ll show more confidence, and you’ll be more open and relaxed in bed.
4. Have protection
Whether you’re the man or woman, you should always take responsibility and carry your own protection. You shouldn’t rely on your partner to have protection because, well, there will be moments when they won’t have any. So, carry an extra condom in your wallet or purse at all times.
5. Choose your beauty standards
You don’t have to have a face full of makeup to have sex with a new partner. You also don’t have to go completely natural either. You decide how you want to look.
You don’t have to wear a nurse outfit to impress your partner or gel your hair back to look straight out of GQ. Who gives a shit. This person is having sex with you, so they obviously find you attractive anyway. Don’t sweat it.
6. Keep up with communication
You’re not having sex with yourself. You’re having sex with another person. And because there’s two of you, you’re going to have to check-in with them and see if they’re okay.
Ask them if they like what you’re doing, etc. Now, don’t ask all the time or else it gets annoying, but if you’re unsure, ask. [Read: How to have better sex – 13 ways to communicate and change the way you make love]
7. Don’t expect anything
Don’t expect your first time to be amazing. Don’t expect it to be shitty either. For most of us, it takes us a couple times to understand our partner, what they like, and what they don’t like.
So, if there’s a sexual connection between you two, the sex will be good. It just might not be mind-blowing, but, that’ll take time.
8. Slow and steady
Don’t jump the gun. I mean, if you guys were making out at the club for hours, then I understand. But, if not, take your time and really focus on foreplay.
Explore each other’s bodies, taste each other, and take in every moment. Quickies are all fine and good, but, the real passionate sex is when it’s hot, messy, and sensual. That takes time. [Read: How to foreplay – The key for the best sex of your life]
9. Laugh off awkward moments
If you accidentally let out a fart, or miss their mouth when you’re trying to kiss them, just play it off. They’re not caring and if anything, if you have a laugh.
It’ll show that you’re not taking it too seriously, and that’ll make you both relaxed. You should always be having a laugh when having sex.
10. Breathe
You need to take a deep breath and relax. This isn’t some competition, this is sex. You’re supposed to be having fun and enjoying the moment.
So, don’t think about the future, like if he/she will want to see you again… who cares? Live in the moment and enjoy their body. [Read: How to be better in bed -16 passionate ways to blow anyone’s mind]
11. Bring the lube
If you’re a woman, even though you want to have sex, you may be so nervous that you won’t be able to become wet. That being said, you’ll want to carry a small bottle of lube with you in your purse. Also, you don’t know, maybe he’s well-endowed. And in that case, you’ll be praying you brought lube with you.
12. Don’t focus on the orgasm
Sex is purely psychological. So, you don’t want to focus so much on trying to have an orgasm. That’s not the point of having sex.
I mean, of course, it’s great if you have one, but it shouldn’t be your main goal. If you make it the main goal, you’ll lose the moment that you’re sharing with this person.
[Read: First time naked with your lover? The common fears all of us have]
Having sex with a new partner is… well, let’s just say, it’s a lot of fun. But, if you’re finding yourself anxious, just follow these tips and you’ll be able to loosen up and enjoy the moment.
