Knowing the signs your relationship will last versus the ones it won’t will help you to be realistic about your union and know if problems need fixing.
When you’re in the middle of a relationship, everything can feel a little muddled. You think things are going well, but there’s always that niggling doubt in the back of your mind. There are many signs your relationship will last, but there are just as many signs your relationship will not last too.
All of this can often pass you by when you’re right in the thick of things, feeling all those emotions.
It can also be even more difficult if you’ve been hurt in the past. When that happens, you’re always going to be on your guard. It can also mean that you sometimes see negative signs that aren’t really there or aren’t as bad as you think.
Maybe you just need a little reassurance. [Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship]
The clearest and biggest signs your relationship will last
While you’re in the relationship, you’re going to be asking yourself a lot of questions. You’ll wonder if this is the right person for you. If you think they are the right person for you, then you start wondering if the relationship is going to last or if you’re going to go through the painful phase of breaking up.
No one wants to go through that and that’s why we’re so careful with who we end up with. But there are some signs your relationship will last that you can look out for. You just need to know what they are. [Read: 38 small changes to better your love life and improve the relationship tenfold]
1. They’re the first person you talk to
When something happens, whether it’s good or bad, your partner is the first person you talk to. You’re not calling all your friends first. You make sure that your partner is the first one to know what’s going on. That’s why they’re your partner, right? [Read: How to know if your relationship is worth keeping]
2. You don’t worry about saying what’s on your mind
If you’re not able to speak your mind honestly in front of your partner, the relationship won’t last.
A healthy relationship is one where you’re able to be yourself around your partner and vice versa. If not, then what’s the point? No one wants to be in the dating phase of the relationship forever.
3. Your partner doesn’t let you give up
When you’re feeling low, your partner needs to be there to push you forward.
We all have those times when we’re not feeling like we’re getting anywhere with our goals, this is just a part of life. But a real partner will make sure that they’re supporting you while you’re down.
4. You both invest in spending time together
Couples that fail are couples that don’t spend enough time together. Okay, sometimes you need your own personal space, we get that.
But if you want a successful relationship, it takes time and effort. Seeing your partner once a week isn’t enough. It’s all about the time. If you’re looking for the signs your relationship will last, ask yourself if you’re spending enough quality time together. [Read: 65 couples activities and fun things to do that’ll make you feel closer than ever]
5. You have flaws and your partner knows that
We all have flaws, so don’t worry. And trust us, your partner knows that they’re flawed as well. But that’s the great part—since we’re all flawed, we’re all equal. They accept your flaws and have shown that they love you, and you’ve done the same.
If a couple doesn’t recognize each other’s flaws, they’re doomed to fail.
6. Your partner listens when you talk
A couple that will last is a couple that listens to each other when they speak. Yes, even when the conversation appears to be a little annoying or stupid, you listen to your partner.
They’re talking because they need to be heard and vice versa. Maybe there’s something on a deep level that they’re trying to tell you, something that you need to pay attention to. [Read: 38 signs and traits of a happy, healthy relationship and what it should look like]
7. You praise each other
Complimenting each other is extremely important when it comes to making sure your relationship will last. A couple that stays together compliments and praises each other on their accomplishments. Your partner should be your biggest fan and congratulate you and all your successes.
Of course, this should be the other way around as well. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the best lines]
8. Your partner helps you achieve your goals
You’re only as strong as your weakest link. Yeah, that sounds a bit harsh, but we mean this in the nicest way possible. When you or your partner is trying to achieve a goal, they need their partner to help them along the way.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to do it with them, but emotional support can go a long way. [Read: 17 sins of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
9. There’s no jealousy when either person succeeds
Listen, we can all become jealous when someone around us succeeds, especially if we’re struggling with our own goals. But with your partner, there shouldn’t be competition between who does what better.
This is about love and connection, not about who’s winning. If you take your partner’s achievements as your own, you’ll last through anything.
10. Your partner asks you for help
This is one of the biggest reasons why people are in relationships. You want someone that you can trust, someone that you can ask for help regardless of what it is.
A couple that can ask each other for help is a couple that’ll be able to go through all obstacles while supporting each other. [Read: 37 rules to be a good partner in a relationship and better your love life]
11. Your sex life isn’t an issue
They say that sex isn’t important, but let’s be honest, having great sex is one of the signs your relationship will last.
Without sex, you’re essentially roommates *unless you’re asexual*. But, for people who are sexual and in a committed relationship, having sex is extremely important to keep a relationship together. [Read: Awkward signs you’re having bad sex with your lover]
12. You’re always working on your relationship because you want to
Once you get into a relationship, it’s not just rainbows and butterflies from then on. You need to be constantly working on your relationship and putting in effort.
If a couple takes the time and effort to make sure that they’re pushing their relationship further, they’ll last. You know the saying, if you don’t use it, you lose it. [Read: How to make a relationship work – 38 ways to a stronger bond]
13. You both know when to apologize
It’s not easy admitting that you screwed up. If we could have it our way, we would avoid apologizing at all costs. But a healthy relationship is all about throwing your pride out of the window and admitting fault when needed.
It won’t make you look weak, it’ll make you look honest and responsible. If you and your partner can do this, you’ll last. [Read: 28 heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry and apologize to someone you love]
14. You’re always honest with each other
Honesty is undoubtedly the best policy to live by if you’re looking for the signs a relationship will last. Whether it takes the form of bickering, gentle reminders, or straightforward admonitions that you’ve put on weight, being honest is very important.
If you regularly practice honesty, there’s a high chance that your relationship is built to last.
15. You’ve made it through tough times before
If you’ve weathered storms together, there’s a good chance you’ll stick together in the long run. Whether your partner has survived a life-threatening illness, whether you’ve undergone multiple miscarriages, whether you’ve forgiven each other for infidelity, or whether you’ve moved around the world for each other, they all count.
If your relationship can go through the toughest times imaginable and still emerge alive and thriving, it was built to last. [Read: Relationship compatibility – what it is, 40 signs you have it, and ways to improve it]
16. You work together toward shared goals
It is important that both parties share the same life goals. For example, your relationship won’t last if they want kids and you don’t. It also won’t last if you want to live like a nomad and they want to settle down.
At the very least, you have to be looking in the same direction in order for the relationship to work. If not, you may as well bid farewell now. [Read: What is my purpose in life – 33 secrets to find meaning when you feel lost]
17. You’re a great team
The whole point of entering into a partnership with someone is so that you have a team member to lean on. Whether it’s enjoying the finer things in life like taking a vacation together or grunting through the pains of everyday life to ensure that the mortgage is paid on time, there should be teamwork if you want your relationship to last.
This also means that you know you have support during tough times. It’s a reassuring feeling but it’s definitely one of the signs your relationship will last.
18. You’re ever faithful to one another
Loyalty, in every sense of the word, is super important in a relationship. It could be anything, from standing up for your partner when someone’s bad-mouthing them, to not getting some action on the side. No matter what, as long as you’re true and just to one another, your relationship will stand the test of time.
If you’ve been through infidelity in the past and you can now say that you’re faithful to your partner and trust is there on both sides, that’s a fantastic sign. [Read: 46 must-dos to rebuild and regain trust after cheating or lying in a relationship]
19. You don’t seriously question your relationship
Everyone questions their relationship occasionally, but it should never be serious. Thoughts such as, “Am I with the right person?” cross everyone’s minds now and then. Somehow, no matter how often you ask yourself this, you’ll know deep down inside that you’re on the right track.
It’s that sense of “just knowing” that will keep your relationship strong.
20. There’s mutual respect
Along with loyalty, respect is one of the most important traits to practice in a relationship.
If you and your partner share a mutual respect for one another, that’s one of the good signs your relationship will last.
There’s nothing worse than being belittled by the person you love, so if you have to deal with this, you need to figure out a way to change it fast or leave the relationship immediately. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
21. You have excellent communication
What’s the point of pledging your heart and soul to someone if you can’t communicate? There’s nothing worse than keeping feelings pent up inside, because one day, they’ll all come tumbling out, and you can kiss your sweetheart goodbye.
Be sure that the lines of communication are constantly open and don’t be afraid to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with your partner. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]
22. There’s no judgment
No matter how ridiculous something may seem to you, don’t belittle your partner for loving it, doing it, or believing in it. There should be zero judgment in a relationship and you should be each other’s pillars of strength.
Support comes in all shapes and forms, so be sure to exhibit this often. You have to let your partner know that no matter what, you’re not going to judge them, and you’ll offer continuous support.
23. There’s undying love
They say that loves conquers all and, to a point, they’re right. Nothing holds a relationship together better than love. If you’re still deeply in love with your partner despite all their flaws, you’re in the clear. [Read: What is true love? 58 signs and ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real]
24. Not only is your sex life thriving, but it’s still exciting
Along with love, there’s sex. If the sex is still exciting, then you have nothing to fear. Whether you indulge in sex games, invite a third party into the bedroom, play with toys, or keep it on schedule, that’s your prerogative.
Sex is as important as everything else on this list, and if you can still be thrilled by your partner, then your relationship will probably last. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom and leave you horny 24/7]
25. You share the same values
What many people fail to realize is that in order for a relationship to last, both parties have to share the same core values. If they love God and you really don’t, that could be a problem. Or if they believe in volunteering and you’re against it, that’s a problem. If you can’t agree on how to raise your kids, you have a problem.
Sharing the same values is one of the key signs your relationship will last.
Unfortunate signs your relationship will not last
Real quick, before we get into signs a relationship won’t last, all of these things can be sorted if you and your partner both want to make your relationship healthier.
Just because you show these signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doomed. At the same time, if you don’t notice these things in your relationship, it doesn’t mean things are perfect. You came looking for this feature, and it tells us you may be looking for a way out of your relationship.
That alone is a reason it won’t last. But here are some others: [Read: 42 red flags and signs it’s time to end your relationship and move on for good]
1. You spend all your time together
You might think this sounds like a happy relationship, but couples that ditch plans with friends for each other even up becoming codependent. When you only rely on each other for all your needs, things get really dysfunctional.
2. You can’t be yourself
If you feel like your partner judges you, you’ll never truly be happy with them. You’ll question what you say or do around them. It isn’t about hurting their feelings, it’s about you.
Being with someone when you can’t be yourself can make you question yourself.
3. You don’t talk enough
So the chemistry is there, but you never talk? That’s nice for a fling or if you don’t want an actual relationship, but that isn’t sustainable.
If you don’t talk about important things, you’ll never grow together or really be a partnership. [Read: What is lust? 25 typical signs to look for and ways to turn it into love]
4. You don’t like or trust their friends
Who your partner is friends with says a lot about them. You are influenced by the people you surround yourself with. If you don’t like or trust your partner’s friends, what does it say about them?
Are they a different person around you versus them? Why don’t you trust them?
5. You’ve changed for them
Whether you’ve decided to live in the city when you hate it or kept your hair long because they prefer it, letting them change you on any level can be very unhealthy. Eventually, it will get to you because you could lose yourself in the relationship. [Read: Decisions you should never allow your partner to make for you]
6. You’re not equals
A relationship needs to have respect. Each of your opinions should be taken into account for big decisions. If your partner talks down to you or ignores what you have to say, things are wildly unbalanced and that won’t work for long.
7. You want to fix them
You adore your boo. They are funny and charming and great in bed. But they never text back, always cancel plans last minute, and leave you waiting around.
These are behaviors you cannot change. All the things you love about them and all the good times will not change them. You cannot fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. [Read: Unhappy relationship – 25 traits of sad love and lies you tell yourself]
8. One or both of you are hung up on the past
Still not over an ex? Are they letting their past relationship dictate how yours goes? That will not work. Say their ex cheated on them. Now they feel the need to control everything you do and have to know where you are at all times. That is not okay.
Or maybe you never quite got over your ex. If you’re considering reaching out, you’re not fully invested. [Read: How to know if a past relationship is still holding you back]
9. Jealousy is taking over
Everyone gets jealous once in a while. Maybe you’re jealous of their friends or their job or their cute coworker. That is okay… as long as you communicate it, and are reassured.
But, if you are letting your jealousy occupy your relationship, things will go south quickly.
10. You don’t trust each other
Trust is so important in a relationship. It is what keeps you coming back to each other at the end of a hard day or after an argument. It is what makes your relationship enrich your life instead of taking from it.
Without it, a relationship is dysfunctional, unhealthy, and unlikely to last. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 why’s and ways to get over it together]
11. You’re embarrassed by them or their behavior
This isn’t about being embarrassed by their poor dance moves, but of them as a person. Maybe you think they don’t make enough money or aren’t smart enough. These things will not go away with time. [Read: How to know when a relationship isn’t working]
12. You’re holding back
If you feel like you can’t share how you feel, whether it’s positive or negative, that most likely won’t get better. When you feel like you can’t speak up with the person you’re in a relationship with it will only get worse. [Read: Walking on eggshells in your relationship – 18 signs and how to fix it]
13. You never compromise
Whether it is you or your partner who isn’t willing to meet halfway, never doing that could cause a real rift between you. Maybe you could switch who picks what’s for dinner or what movie to watch or whose family to spend the holidays with.
If you decide to spend the holidays apart or watch separate movies and continue on that path, it will tear you apart rather than bring you together. [Read: 20 non-negotiables in relationships you shouldn’t ever compromise on]
14. You’re not keen to see each other
Relationships, no matter how old, should ignite at least some level of excitement. You should look forward to seeing each other, not dread it. If making plans to see one another feels more like a requirement than a fun date with your significant other, that is not a good sign. [Read: Bored in a relationship – 78 signs, reasons, and ways to make it fun ASAP]
15. Your fights always risk a breakup
Fights, arguments, disagreements—they all happen in relationships. The difference between that and fights that nearly end in a breakup is trust.
In a healthy relationship, a couple knows this is temporary. They will still be there for each other when the fight ends. In a relationship that won’t work out, fights contain threats of ending the relationship which is disrespectful and manipulative.
16. You always put them first
You might think that putting your partner first is a good thing, but it isn’t. Yes, we all make compromises, but if you continuously put your partner’s needs above your own, you are placing your own needs way too far down the priority list. [Read: 39 ways to stop being codependent and relying on others to make you happy]
17. You almost cheat
Yes, some relationships survive cheating. A sign that yours won’t is that you are often on the verge of cheating. You may think you’ll never actually act on it or cross the line, but getting that close is not a good sign for your relationship.
18. The same fights happen over and over again
If you keep having the same fights repeatedly, there is an underlying problem that is not being addressed. These fights could start with someone not doing the dishes, but if it always ends on the same topic, you either need to face it and make a decision or go your separate ways. [Read: How to stop fighting in a relationship and 16 steps to really talk]
19. They don’t get along with the people in your life
It’s true that partners don’t always get along with the in-laws. Most can swallow their pride and enjoy a nice holiday, but if your friends and family cannot hold back their disdain for your partner, that is a bad sign. They are seeing something you’re missing.
Hear them out. These are people you trust and their opinions matter. They want what is best for you, so go in with an open mind.
20. They are often rude to others
Maybe your partner is the sweetest person you know, but when you go out, they have a bit of a rude streak. If they are rude to your friends, servers, cab drivers, or anyone else, that is not a good sign.
Someone who can change their personality or attitude so quickly is showing a lot of red flags. [Read: Warning signs to look out for in the first few dates]
21. They ghost you on and off
A healthy relationship is based on trust but also consistent communication. This will differ with every relationship. If your partner disappears for days at a time, that is not a good sign.
Not only are they not clueing you in or easing your worries, but you could drive yourself crazy.
We don’t usually put a lot of weight into social media, but if you and your partner do, it could be a sign. If you always post pictures of each other but those posts decline or get replaced with friends and activities you’re doing apart, that could be a sign of where your true focus is. [Read: 21 honest reasons why your relationship is drifting and why it happens]
23. You just feel it
This is the big one. This is the one that may not have a quantifiable definition or proof. It is all about a feeling, a feeling something is off.
Sometimes you should trust your gut. But, what you do from there is up to you. [Read: Gut instinct – what it is, how it works, and 30 tips to follow and listen to your gut]
24. You just feel bad all the time
When was the last time you felt genuine joy and happiness in your relationship? If this is going to be your partner, you should be feeling good around them.
Of course, there will be phases where you won’t feel good; maybe you’re going through a personal struggle. But your partner should be there to show you the light at the end of the tunnel and give you the love and support you need.
25. Where’s the intimacy?
Of course, there are going to be phases where you won’t be as sexual with your partner, that’s normal. But if there’s no intimacy at all, then you have a serious problem. If your partner is no longer intimate with you and doesn’t want to work on it, then this relationship isn’t working out for you. [Read: 32 fun ideas to build and grow intimacy in a relationship and feel more loved]
26. Your partner isn’t being honest
Well, this is a big one. If you’re finding your partner is hiding things from you or lying to you, then the relationship isn’t working. You cannot have a healthy relationship if either partner is lying or hiding things from one another.
Honesty is the foundation of a healthy relationship. [Read: The power of words and how they can make or break your relationship]
27. You no longer show empathy
When your partner had a bad day in the past, you would show empathy and do something nice to cheer them up. But you no longer show or feel empathy towards your partner.
You don’t want to understand what they’re feeling or connect with them. That’s a sign it’s over.
28. You or your partner use the silent treatment
Ah, yes. The silent treatment. What are we? Four-years-old? This is never an effective way to communicate with your partner and is a form of control, which will evolve into abuse.
If this tactic is being used in your relationship by either you or your partner, this is highly toxic and will only damage your relationship. If you cannot evolve from using the silent treatment, then the relationship won’t work. [Read: Silent treatment abuse – how it’s used and 40 signs and ways to respond to it]
29. You always correct each other
We’ve all encountered someone who’s a self-proclaimed “grammar police,” and it’s always annoying. So, you can imagine the effect correcting your partner 24/7 has on their emotional and mental health.
It makes people feel stupid and frankly, small.
30. Your emotional needs are not being met
If you’re still unsure of how to know when a relationship isn’t working out on an emotional level, ask yourself how you feel on the inside. Are your emotional needs being met? When you’re next to them, do you feel even lonelier and sadder?
If you’ve talked to your partner and yet you’re still not feeling satisfied, this isn’t a good sign. [Read: Toxic relationship – what it is, 107 signs, causes, and types of love that hurt you]
31. No more talks about the future
You used to talk about where you saw yourselves together in five years, but now, that’s all gone silent. You’re no longer building a future together. If that’s the case, then why are you still in a relationship with this person?
32. There’s a sense of feeling stuck
When you’re sitting on the couch next to your partner, you just feel stuck. There’s no feeling of progress in your love life or that you two are heading in any direction. As of now, you just feel as though you’re floating through time endlessly. [Read: 18 emotions you should never ever feel in a healthy relationship]
Every relationship goes through a rough patch
If you’re reading the signs your relationship will not last and you’re noticing a few, don’t worry straight away. Remember, all relationships go through tough times and it’s how you respond to them that matters.
But if all you can see are the signs that your relationship will last, well, good for you!
[Read: 42 red flags and signs it’s time to end your relationship and move on for good]
So, after looking through the signs your relationship will last versus it won’t, what do you think? Do you think your relationship will stand the test of time?
