Your relationship is hitting a milestone! If you want it to continue to last, listen to this long-term relationship advice.
Just because you get along, doesn’t mean the relationship is going to work. In fact, it takes a lot more than just chemistry to keep a relationship going. I’m going to show you the must-know, long-term relationship advice that’ll help you make it.
The 14 must-know long-term relationship advice to know
Relationships, whether new or long-term, aren’t easy. Humans are a handful. We like things our way. We want everything to go smoothly, yet, we want to do the least amount of work at the same time. But here’s the thing, relationships are work.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, then you already know the compromises you made when you didn’t want to. But this is what a relationship is based on, two people compromising their happiness for someone else, and yet relishing in the fact that they’re compromising for their lover’s happiness. I know, it doesn’t sound that glamorous when I say it like that, but that’s what it is.
But this shouldn’t be taken in a negative way. Relationships have so many advantages that when you’re single, you miss being in a relationship. Of course, since you’re here, you’re probably in a relationship already and looking to make it go the distance. It’s not easy, but you can do it. [Read: What you need to know to make a long-term relationship last]
#1 Have your own space. Whether it’s a new or long-term relationship, this is applicable to anyone who’s not single. You need to have your own personal time. If you live together, give yourself time to do things you like without your partner. Hang out with your friends, work out, read a book. Do things on your own without them to keep your independence. [Read: How to give space in your relationship and feel closer]
#2 Choose your battles. If you’ve been together for a while then you’re aware of the flaws you both have. The more time you spend with someone, the more information you have to use against them in a fight which isn’t good.
#3 Keep up with the communication. But seriously, we tend to stop communicating because we think we know our partners well. But just because you’ve been with them for a couple years doesn’t mean you know them. You need to maintain your level of communication with your partner. No matter how long you’ve been with them, they can’t read your mind and vice versa.
#4 Go on dates. Sure, you have been together for a while, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go on dates. Date nights are easy, but of all the long-term relationship advice people need to focus on, this is the first thing that’s overlooked almost all the time. Don’t be lazy. Having a date night is a great way to spend quality time together and possibly try out new things. Go see a new movie, try out a new restaurant, head to an art gallery opening–the possibilities are endless.
#5 Don’t have expectations. If you give your partner a compliment or surprise them with a gift, don’t expect anything back. Being in a relationship isn’t about you giving in order to gain something, you give because it makes you feel good and you love your partner. It’ll show them your appreciation, and they’ll feel happier in the relationship. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your relationship]
#6 You’re not their problem solver. Here’s the thing, when we’ve been with someone for so long, we tend to see their problems as our own. And of course, their problems do affect us in some way, but do not be the person who takes on their issues. They need to fight their battles, all you can do is be their support. If you become their problem solver, you stop being their partner. [Read: The boundaries you need to maintain a healthy relationship]
#7 Argue smartly. You’re not trying to fight your partner, you’re trying to come to a resolution about the problem at hand. You’re going to argue, and you probably already have but you need to argue smartly. Yelling and speaking in a degrading manner doesn’t solve the problem. Being fully honest and actually talking to your partner will solve most of your problems.
#8 Respect their boundaries. Everyone has boundaries and you’ve been with your partner long enough to know where those boundaries are. Sure, sometimes the line can become blurred, and we cross the line but to prevent that, communication is needed. If you’re well-aware of the boundaries actively work on acknowledging where they are.
#9 Have your own goals. This is crucial. Yes, you’re in a relationship but at the same time, you’re also your own person. If you want to be the best person you can be in your relationship, then you need to create your own goals which fulfill your dreams and ambitions. Working on yourself will make you a better person in your relationship. [Read: How to love someone without smothering them]
#10 You’re going to have to compromise. No one actually likes compromising. I mean, to compromise is about two people being semi-happy for each other. There are two people which are looking for their needs to be met. Of course, you both have different needs, but compromising is the key to a long-lasting relationship. [Read: 12 tips to compromise and give without losing]
#11 Your partner will change. Or maybe they won’t. But, it’s important not to be surprised if you see that they’ve changed over the years. People change and grow. This isn’t something negative, but this is something that you’ll have to adjust to. The key is to allow your partner to go through this phase of their life because you as well may have or will experience the same thing.
#12 Sex will change. You may remember the sex you had when you were first dating in comparison to now. Sex does change. This doesn’t mean that they love you less, it just means that you are in a different phase of the relationship. There’ll be some moments where it’s passionate and some moments which are less passionate. Intimacy isn’t static.
#13 Laugh together. This is crucial for a long-lasting relationship. You need to make sure that you and your partner can laugh together. Having a good laugh can be even more intimate than sex. Share memories and sit back and have a good laugh together. [Read: 8 little habits that will bring you closer together]
#14 Trust your partner. At the end of the day, all of this long-term relationship advice won’t mean anything unless you trust your partner. If you don’t trust them then you’re not going to be able to actually use the advice genuinely. If you want to create trust, become open and vulnerable towards them.