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Questions for a New Relationship: 30 Ways to Build a Bond Early

Dating someone new? You have loads to learn about each other. Try these questions for a new relationship and see what you find out.

Questions for a New Relationship

If you just started dating someone, you’re still in the early stages of getting to know who they are. Everything seems amazing. You have butterflies when you’re around them. But you still have a lot to learn about them. The best way to get to know someone is by asking questions for a new relationship.

Without asking questions, you will sit in a fun and flirty zone without ever learning anything. Then when something important arises, you won’t know how to handle it or if your beliefs align.

It is so important to ask questions for a new relationship to find out if you have a future or not.

The last thing you want is to find out years down the road that they don’t share any of the same core beliefs as you. [Read: How to have the perfect start to a new relationship]

Why you should ask questions in a new relationship

Obviously, you ask questions for a new relationship so you can get the answers, but why? Well, you don’t want to waste your time or theirs.

When dating someone new, things can be passionate. They can be hot and heavy. That is all fine and all, but eventually, things will get more serious. And at that point, if you don’t know enough about each other, things can get messy and complicated.

It is vital to discuss sensitive topics in a new relationship to avoid getting stuck in something destined to fail.

Whether you have dealbreakers or just want to know how you might handle things as a couple, asking questions for a new relationship is the best place to start. This will help you move forward together or decide if you want to part ways. [Read: Checklist for a happy romance]

Questions for a new relationship

Word of warning… don’t ask these questions all at once, or it’ll feel more like an interrogation than a date. These topics usually come up naturally as you get to know someone, but bring them up if you find them essential.

Of course, you will need to answer some of these questions for them as well. It’s a two-way street. You aren’t just getting to know them, but they are getting to know you as well.

Find out if you really like this person or if you just have chemistry. Maybe you clicked but realized you don’t align on some pretty significant topics. By asking questions for a new relationship, it can really help you both gain much-needed clarity.

1. How do you define intimacy?

Is intimacy purely sex ? Or is intimacy a variety of things like hugging, cuddling, and kissing? This is a great question for a new relationship, whether you’ve already had relations or not. [Read: How to successfully date someone with intimacy issues]

2. When are you the most “you”?

Is there a person, place, or activity that makes you feel like yourself?

3. If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do with your time?

This is a great question even though it is undeniable that money is involved in so much of our lives. Asking this lets you know what is truly important to them and if they love their job or just work to pay the bills?

4. What kind of parent do you think you’d be?

Do you even want kids in the future? If so, how do they see themselves parenting their children? Will that raise their potential kids as their parents did? Will they guide them through a religion? Do you agree with their answers?

5. Are you a spender or a saver?

This is important! Sure, it can be a little personal to ask this question for a new relationship, but money issues lead to more breakups than you realize. Can they save money, or are they someone who loves to spend every dollar they have? Figuring this out now and discussing how you might handle joint finances before it becomes a problem can help. [Read: 17 brilliant yet simple ways to save money as a couple]

6. What have you learned from your past relationships?

If they’ve dated people in the past, they probably have some lessons they learned. What are they? If they didn’t learn anything, that’s not a good sign.

7. What about yourself are you most proud of?

Is it their ability to communicate with people around them? Their new job? Finishing college? What are they proud of? The answer to this question for a new relationship says a lot about someone. Can they even provide an answer? If not, they may be struggles with self-esteem issues.

8. How would you feel if I made more money than you?

Are they okay with their partner making more money than them? Or is this something that bothers them? Discuss why if they do struggle with this. Is it something you can sort out?

9. Do you believe in monogamy?

You don’t want to find out five years down the road they believe in polyamorous relationships when you don’t. Get this question out of the way in the beginning. And talk about what monogamy means to you. What are the limits or the boundaries you need to meet? [Read: 20 questions you should be asking your lover]

10. What are your relationship dealbreakers?

What are the things in a relationship they cannot tolerate? Maybe they can’t get on board with a partner who smokes or travels too much. Perhaps you need to have the same beliefs or stances.

11. How do you express your love?

We all have different ways to express our love to the people around us. Maybe they enjoy giving gifts or being affectionate. Find out their love language so you can both meet each other in the middle.

12. What are your biggest fears about relationships?

Is it cheating? Or being lied to? These may have something to do with their past, but they are almost always carried into the future. Find out what their fears are, and be prepared to share your own. Discussing this early on can help you get it out in the open to be more patient with each other. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]

13. What do you do in your alone time?

Do they read? Fish? Paint? What are their hobbies? Everyone should have something they enjoy doing in their spare time. Do you both enjoy the same things?

14. Are you friends with any of your exes?

How do they feel about their exes? Were they all “crazy”? If so, that is a major red flag. Are they good friends with their exes or at least cordial? You may think talking about exes is a bad idea, but it can help you understand their headspace regarding past relationships.

15. What have you struggled with your entire life?

Everyone has something they’re trying to overcome in their lives. What is their struggle? Did they come from poverty? Do they deal with mental health struggles? This can be difficult to talk about, but it is an important question to ask for a new relationship so you can understand each other better. [Read: What it’s like to date someone with low self-esteem]

16. Are you a night owl or early riser?

Oh, this one is an important question. Is this someone who loves to stay up late or someone who likes to wake up early? What kind of person are you? Do you match? Sure, you can work around this, but knowing beforehand is helpful.

17. What are your turn-ons and offs?

You need to know what turns them on and off if they’re going to be your partner. This can be awkward if you are taking things slow, but it is essential. Talking about what you like sexually or just I a relationship is important. You can’t expect someone to know what you want right off the bat.

18. Do you hold grudges or forgive?

This is important. We all make mistakes, but how do they handle those incidents? Even if they hold grudges, they may not be super open about that. They may not even be self-aware of it. But talking about this can help you both dig deeper and get to know yourselves better too.

19. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Whether they had a lovely childhood or not, we all have that one time we remember that puts a smile on our faces. Asking this question for a new relationship is an excellent intro to learning more about their origins. [Read: 20 funny get to know you questions to help you bond instantly] 

20. What’s your hidden talent?

Everyone has something they’re secretly good at, so what is their hidden talent? Can they juggle, lick their elbow, or maybe they are a speed mathematician?

21. What do you want out of life?

What does your partner see in their future and hope their life looks like? Do you both want to travel the world? Or maybe you want to settle down?

22. What is your relationship with your family like?

This is a great question for a new relationship. It opens the door to a lot of discussions. Are they close with certain members of their family but not others? How often do they see their parents? Did you have similar family lives?

23. Are you religious?

This may not be important to you but can be a dealbreaker for others. Even if you don’t need to align on your beliefs, it is nice to know what your partner believes in. [Read: 15 big relationships questions to ask before going to the next level]

24. What causes are you most passionate about?

Do they volunteer with animals or the elderly? Do they protest or work with the government to make a change? What matters to them?

25. What do you like about me?

This can seem like a cocky question, but it is an important question for a new relationship. Learn why they like you. Is it a feeling they can’t describe, or do they like aspects of your personality?

26. Who do you admire the most?

Is it their mother? A celebrity? Ask them why? Get to know what they view as important in life and what they aspire to be like.

27. What is your biggest pet peeve?

This can be something like smoking, being wasteful, or something like chewing with your mouth open. Share the things that drive you nuts so you can avoid them or just so you know when they might be in a bad mood. [Read: 9 non-negotiables in relationships]

28. What fictional character do you identify with the most?

This is a fun question for a new relationship. You can bond over fandoms and TV shows. You can also learn more about what they like and think they’re like, which isn’t always the same.

29. Are you spontaneous?

Most people seem to love spontaneity. It is romantic, right? Well, some people prefer plans and set schedules. See if you align on this.

30. What do you think are the most important questions to ask for a new relationship?

Let them ask you some questions and see what they want to know about you.

[Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility immediately]

Now, you’re not going to find out everything about your partner, but with these questions for a new relationship, you will have a better idea of who they are and if you are right for each other.

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