If you just started dating someone, you’re still in the early stages of getting to know who they are. Everything, for now, is amazing. You have butterflies in your stomach when you’re around them. But if you see this person as someone you could potentially be with long term, then you need to see if you have common beliefs and interests. These 21 questions for a new relationship will help you know if you’re on the same page.
Do they want children? Do they like to save or spend their money? These are important questions to ask because it’ll give you a better idea of who they are and if you are a good fit.
The last thing you want is to find out years down the road that they don’t share any of the same core beliefs as you.
[Read: Love and affection – the magic spark in long term relationships]
21 questions for a new relationship
Word of warning… don’t ask these questions all at once, or else it’ll feel like you’re a drill sergeant. But, over time, ask your partner these questions and see what’s going on in their mind.
Of course, don’t be afraid to answer some of these questions for them as well. It’s a two-way street, and they’ll want to know how you feel and what you want in your future too.
If you want to get to know your partner, ask questions.
#1 How do you define intimacy? Is intimacy purely sex for them? Or do they see intimacy as a variety of things like hugging, cuddling, and kissing? [Read: How to successfully date someone with intimacy issues]
#2 When are you the most “you”? Is there a person, place, or activity that makes them feel like themselves?
#3 If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do with your time? You don’t want someone who’s just going to sit at home all-day, you want someone who makes the most of their time.
#4 What kind of parent do you think you’d be? Do they even want kids in the future? If so, how do they seem themselves parenting their children?
#5 Are you a spender or a saver? This is important! Can they save money, or are they someone who loves to spend every dollar they have. [Read: 17 brilliant yet simple ways to save money as a couple]
#6 What have you learned from your past relationships? If they’ve dated people in the past, they probably have some lessons they learned. What are they? If they didn’t learn anything, that’s not a good sign.
#7 What about yourself are you most proud of? Is it their ability to communicate with people around them? Their new job? Finishing college? What are they proud of?
#8 How would you feel if I made more money than you? Are they okay with their partner making more money than them? Or is this something that bothers them?
#9 Do you believe in monogamy? You don’t want to find out five years down the road they believe in polyamorous relationships when you don’t. Get this question out of the way in the beginning. [Read: 20 questions you should be asking your lover]
#10 What is a relationship deal-breaker for you? What are the things in a relationship they cannot tolerate? Do they match your beliefs?
#11 How do you express your love? We all have different ways to express our love to the people around us. Maybe they enjoy giving gifts or being affectionate. Find out their love language.
#12 What are your biggest fears about relationships? Is it cheating? Or being lied to? These may have something to do with their past as well. Find out what their fears are. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]
#13 What do you do in your alone time? Do they read? Fish? Paint? What are their hobbies? Everyone should have something they enjoy doing in their spare time.
#14 Are you friends with any of your exes? How do they feel about their exes? Were they all “crazy”? Are they good friends with their exes or at least cordial?
#15 What have you struggled with your entire life? Everyone has something they’re trying to overcome in their lives. What is their struggle?
#16 Are you a night owl or early riser? Oh, this one is an important question. Is this someone who loves to stay up late or someone who likes to wake up early. What kind of person are you? Do you match?
#17 What are your turn-ons and offs? You need to know what turns them on and off if they’re going to be your partner!
#18 Do you hold grudges or forgive? This is important. We all make mistakes, but how do they handle those incidents?
#19 What’s your fondest memory of a tree? It may seem like a random question, but you may get an interesting story about their childhood out of it. [Read: 20 funny get to know you question to help you bond instantly]
#20 What’s your hidden talent? Everyone has something they’re secretly good at, so what is their hidden talent?
#21 What do you want out of life? What does your partner see in their future and hope their life looks like? And does it match your goals?
[Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility immediately]
Now, you’re not going to find out everything about your partner, but you will have a better idea of who they are with these 21 questions for a new relationship.
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