Women often forget that they aren’t the only ones plagued with insecurities – men have them too. So we’re going to explore 25 common male insecurities.
A guy will rarely ever admit to suffering from body image issues or disclose his anxiety when first having sex with a new partner. They’re not usually in the habit of wanting to talk about it, but you never know when you might be hurting your guy when you bring up these issues.
Despite the fact that men don’t openly talk about what makes them insecure about themselves, a lot of them really wish women would be a bit more understanding of their issues.
You might think that everyone knows what an insecurity is because almost everyone has them. So, what actually is an insecurity? Well, it’s multifaceted.
In a nutshell, an insecurity is an overall sense of uncertainty or anxiety about your worth, skills, abilities, or value as a person. Insecurities can have a lot of negative impacts on someone’s life including physical, emotional, and mental. When you have insecurities, you can’t fully function to your potential.
There are a lot of symptoms of insecurity. In general, the person has an overriding feeling of inadequacy, a lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. They also aren’t very capable of coping very well with the stress of life and feel uncertain about the world. They might even be anxious about their relationships with other people.
Here are some of the insecurities that guys deal with on a regular basis that girls often don’t even realize.
Guys have struggled with their body image the same way that girls do. A guy might worry about being too scrawny or question if a girl will be turned off by his beer belly. Why do you think so many guys are at the gym, vigorously working on their arms, pecs, and abs?
Guys can also be insecure about their height, especially if they are shorter or drastically taller than someone they are dating. [Read: 20 secret things about men that they wish women knew]
So many guys go through similar hair removal efforts as women do in order to minimize their body hair and feel more attractive. Other guys are obsessed with their lack of ability to grow full facial hair, and are therefore insecure that they look young or less “manly.” Other guys shave regularly to avoid looking scruffy or too hairy.
Guys can be super insecure if they have feminine-looking or small hands because it can seem less macho and masculine to a girl. Some even feel like they’ll be judged for having delicate hands because it makes them look like they don’t know how to work with their hands.
Having small feet is another sensitive subject for guys because of the myth that small feet equate to having a small package. Some men might go to drastic measures, like wearing shoes that are too big for them, just to avoid being judged by their boys or by a girl they like.
Believe it or not, guys can be insecure about their smile and their teeth just as much as women are. Whether they have super small teeth, gaps, overbites, or crooked teeth, they all worry that they look unattractive or come across as having poor hygiene.
Guys can be super insecure about their finances and how much money they make, based on the assumption that men are supposed to support a family or “bring home the bacon.” Even though this is an old-fashioned macho mentality, men still feel the pressure to measure up to other men financially. [Read: 5 things you need to do if your man makes less money than you]
Some guys believe that girls will stick with someone who is more financially secure, and thus worry about losing their girlfriend to someone who makes more money than they do. That’s why it’s one of the common male insecurities.
Most guys know that women generally prefer a man who has his own place. If he’s a mama’s boy who still lives at home and has zero responsibilities inside the house, chances are, he’s dropped a few notches on the ideal date scale. A guy will usually aspire to live on his own and will feel incredibly insecure if his living situation ruins his image. [Read: On dating the guy who still lives with his parents]
Guys take pride in their cars because they can feel like an extension of themselves. If a guy drives a jalopy, he may be incredibly insecure about what other guys and girls think of him. Having a nice car is often part of the package of a confident guy. If he’s still paying to get through college before buying his dream car, he could be feeling the pressure.
When it comes to a guy’s pleasure pistol, he will wonder incessantly about how he measures up to other guys his age. Guys will watch porn just to compare their member to other guys in order to feel like they aren’t abnormal or lacking in some way.
Guys can be insecure about whether or not the way their penis looks and is shaped makes it any less normal. They will obsess about the length, girth, color, or texture of their penis, how their balls look, if being circumcised or uncircumcised is better, and whether or not they should trim or shave their hair down there. [Read: 7 things to love about an uncircumcised penis]
All guys want to believe that they are the best you’ve ever had in bed. However, unless they’re incredibly conceited, they will generally feel insecure about one thing or another when it comes to having sex with a new girl for the first time.
Believe it or not, while you’re trying to hide your cellulite, he’s wondering what you’re thinking when he takes off his shirt and how you think he looks while he’s getting into it.
Guys can be incredibly self-conscious about how they sweat during sex, and how fast or slow they orgasm, in addition to the noises and facial expressions they make.
He will also be insecure about whether or not you’re faking your orgasm, and so comes the epic question that almost every guy asks after sex, “was it good for you?” A guy’s ego hangs on by a thread for the answer! [Read: 10 subtle ways to help him get better in bed]
This is a very common male insecurity. It’s a fact that some guys pride themselves on the level they are at in their job or career. Guys who are still at minimum wage jobs are constantly insecure about how they measure up in society and in the eyes of people that matter to them, whereas guys in higher positions feel a sense of pride, accomplishment, and self-confidence.
Some guys wonder what others think of their personal style and clothing choices. Women aren’t the only ones who obsess over their sense of fashion, especially when trying to attract the opposite sex.
Men are also guilty of trying on a few different outfits before settling for a style that they feel comfortable with. They also judge themselves based on how other guys dress.
Ever wonder why some guys seem drenched in cologne when you first meet them? It’s because secretly, they wonder if you’ll like their natural scent. Guys can actually be insecure about whether or not they smell good on their own or if their natural eau de cologne can be off-putting to women. [Read: 7 Smelly body parts that can ruin great sex]
Similar to being insecure about their jobs and financial situation, they think that their intelligence is tied to those things too. Because men always want to be the alpha male and the “top dog,” that includes intelligence. They want to be smarter than any man or woman so they feel like the most important person in the room.
The hair on a man’s head is another cause for insecurity, especially if he’s balding or thinning. He might hide behind hats or even shave them off completely in order to avoid being ridiculed by his friends or the opposite sex. He thinks he is less attractive if he has thinning hair or is bald.
Not all men are insecure about their personality, but a lot of them are – especially if they tend to be introverted or shy. Our world values outgoing, personable people. And if a guy is on the shy side, he might think that no one really likes him very much because he’s “boring.” [Read: Anxious personality – 7 reasons to date an anxious person]
Being honest and vulnerable is very difficult for a lot of guys, and it’s another common male insecurity. Sometimes it’s connected to a behavior or something in their past that they are embarrassed or ashamed about.
Many men grew up in families where expressing emotions was not encouraged, so they don’t know how to do it. When they are asked to be emotionally intimate, they feel like it’s a threat to their security and emotional well-being. [Read: 18 Secrets to get a man to open up, communicate, and understand you]
When a man gets injured, whether it’s temporary or permanent, it impacts their emotional insecurity. The physical disability can impact their work, relationships, or hobbies. Whether it’s just that they sprained their ankle or if they lost a limb, not being in their top physical shape is worrisome for a lot of men.
The condition known as gynecomastia is often referred to as having “man boobs.” It happens when men develop breasts as a result of imbalances in testosterone and estrogen. As men age, their testosterone goes down, and the impact of estrogen gets stronger. This also leads to weight gain and developing some man boobs.
No one really wants to look old, and men are no different. So, they fear how their face ages and their body. Men don’t want to have old, baggy eyes. And even though some people find it distinguished, most men don’t want to have gray hair either.
They want to stay attractive for as long as possible. So the aging process makes a lot of them insecure. [Read: Dating age rule – what is an acceptable age gap for a couple?]
Demands that are placed on a man – whether they are his own or someone else’s – can make him feel like he’s in a race to perform. But many times, these high standards are met by disappointment, resentment, and feeling that he isn’t capable of meeting those expectations. If he doesn’t, that makes him feel very inadequate.
This is similar to emotional intimacy, but a bit different. This is a more general form of emotional insecurity that’s triggered by any bad experience in a close relationship.
Some men are just really uncomfortable showing emotion or even receiving emotion from another person – even from their own family sometimes. They probably also have a hard time empathizing with other people or making deep connections with other people. [Read: Do guys get emotionally attached? 19 signs and ways his mind works]
This is another one of the common male insecurities. Most people know that a lot of men have sexual insecurities about their penis or their performance in bed. But a lot of them also worry about whether or not their penis will even work.
Erectile dysfunction can affect men of all ages. It could just be situational and based on being nervous or it could be age-related. Either way, this is a huge insecurity for men because they don’t want to let their partners down.
Most men want to be stable providers for their wives and children. So, being a good partner is important to a lot of men. If their marriage is unhappy, it can take a toll on their self-worth over time.
And if he’s not able to communicate this to his wife, this builds resentment over time in his wife and then they get more distant from one another. [Read: Best husband ever – 10 things the best guys always do in a marriage]
When a man has to work a lot, they might miss important moments with their children. They might miss their first steps and their first words. And they might even have to miss their baseball games and ballet recitals. All of this makes them wonder if they are being good enough dads and will make them feel insecure.
Let’s face it – most people like tall men. Being tall gives a person a sense of power. They can look down on other people – literally – if they are tall. So, if a man is short, this can give him an inferiority complex. It makes it more difficult to find a woman to date or marry since a lot of women prefer men who are taller than them.
Women are often all too quick to forget that guys need approval and security the same way that girls do. If you’re in a relationship, remember to go easy on your guy, now that you know he’s also facing a war against his own insecurities. [Read: 14 things you say or do that emasculates your man and makes him shrivel up]
Compliment him and make sure he knows exactly what you like about him. It doesn’t hurt to tell him when he’s doing a good job in bed either. When he feels secure and confident, you’ll definitely have a happy man on your hands.
[Read: 25 compliments your man will never ever forget]
It’s true that guys have insecurities too! And now you know the common male insecurities. While it’s not every day you’ll hear a guy fess up about their inner fears of how others perceive them, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have any.
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