Dating is hard enough when guys treat you well, but learning how to get a guy to stop playing games with your feelings is a whole other ball game.
As someone who has had been played more times than I’d like to admit, I know how it feels to have someone treat your feelings like a game. And all women need to understand how to get a guy to stop playing games!
Trying to date a guy that sees you as a conquest or challenge rather than a real person with feelings makes you feel like crap. It feels like you don’t matter, and it royally sucks.
Before trying to get a guy to stop playing games with your feelings, figure out if that is actually what he’s doing. I am not saying you’re wrong. There are times where we jump to conclusions due to our past experiences.
For instance, as someone who has dealt with plenty of guys that do play games, I assume the worst right off the bat. The fact is that not all guys are playing games.
To help you figure out if he is actually playing games with you or is just nervous, here are some ways to spot the difference.
#1 He is cagey about his past. An honest guy tries to create a bond with you and will be forthcoming about his past. A guy who is playing games doesn’t want you to know that he cheated on his ex. When you ask why his last relationship didn’t work out, he will likely say something along the lines of, “she was crazy.” [Read: The definitive signs he is playing you for fun]
#2 He doesn’t want you to meet his friends. If his goal is to play games and not date you, he wants to keep you separate from the rest of his life. Whether he is seeing someone else or not, he doesn’t want you integrating into his friend group. It is easier to lead you on when you’re alone.
#4 He only reaches out when it is convenient for him. If he says he’s busy every time you reach out but then expects you to cancel plans to see him last minute when he had nothing else to do, he is using you and playing games.
#5 He breaks his promises. Sure, sometimes things come up and he can’t make date night. If he regularly cancels plans last minute or promises you things you know will never happen, he is just playing games. He has no intention of following through.
#6 He doesn’t want to be online with you. A guy who wants to be with you will be happy to be. He won’t have a problem interacting with you on social media or even posting photos together. But, if he is playing games, he is being secretive. He doesn’t want people to know you’re together. He avoids any proof you are together.
#7 He doesn’t ask you anything. If he is playing games with your feelings, he doesn’t really care about them. He won’t ask you how your day was, how your relationship with your parents is, or anything else. He might ask how you feel about him to ensure he still has power over you, but not much else. [Read: How to understand the games he is playing with you]
#8 He is always on his phone. If he takes ages to text you back but is glued to his phone when you’re together, he is definitely playing games.
#9 You’re exhausted. Sure, some guys are just confusing. They don’t even know how they feel. So, how are you supposed to know? But, if you feel exhausted from trying to impress him or learn how he feels about you, there is a reason. He wants to drive you nuts. He wants you to be constantly thinking about him. It gives him the power.
#10 He gets mad if you say no. A guy who is playing games with your feelings wants to boost his own ego. And the best way for him to do that is to sleep with you. If you tell him no or say you’re not in the mood, he will be mad, upset, annoyed, or make up an excuse to leave. That is his main goal. If he can’t accomplish it he will either give up or try to pressure you. NOT COOL. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a really bad boyfriend]
How to get a guy to stop playing games with your feelings
Now that you know if he is actually playing games with you, form a game plan of your own. I am not condoning that you beat him at his own games, but rather, end the game altogether.
A guy who is playing games has a false sense of confidence. He is likely playing games with you to boost his low self-esteem by exuding power over you. When he does the least to get you to like him and think about him, he feels good about himself. That power is like a drug to him. He thinks he can control you because you need his approval and love. [Read: How to play a guy at his own game and make him feel miserable]
He is the game master and you have been sucked into his game. But now that you know that is what he has done, you can quit. Just stop playing the game.
Stop feeding into his nonsense. If he makes some excuse when you ask him to meet your friends, don’t accept it. Tell him you’re not going to wait around for him to take you and your feelings seriously.
Most guys who play games will become defensive. They will accuse you of overreacting. But stand strong and know you are worth more than a guy that sees you as a pawn to boost his ego. You deserve a guy who treats your feelings as equally as his own, not one that views you as a means to an end.
Next time he asks you to come over last minute and probably late at night, say no. Even if you’re available and want to see him, say no. You don’t have to make up an excuse or say you’re out. Tell him no. If he asks why, say you’d rather be by yourself and end it at that. [Read: Why men love a chase and how to use it in your favor]
We try so hard to be the cool girl that doesn’t question him about who he is texting or why he canceled plans or why we never go out together. But trying to be “cool” is holding us back from getting a guy we actually deserve.
Sure, there is a chance that by calling him on his behavior he will realize you aren’t putting up with it. Maybe he will change and start treating you with respect. But, guys who play games are often too immature or uncaring to do that. No matter how much fun you have with him in the moment or how hot he is or how sweet he can be, the best way to learn how to get a guy to stop playing games is to stop seeing him. [Read: How to recognize guys who play games and what to do about them]
Just end things. I know it is easier said than done, but if you must, block him. Know your worth and shut him down. Game over.
If enough women shut him down when he tries to play games, he may eventually realize that women are not pawns, but actual people that deserve to be treated as such.