How to Attract an Alpha Male: 20 Secrets to Date Him & Keep Him Hooked

Learning how to attract an alpha male will change your dating game. He’s confident and charming, but understanding how to date an alpha male isn’t easy.

how to attract an alpha male and date him

We’ve all heard about the alpha male, but what does he look like? Does he go around beating his chest and speaking like Tarzan? Does he make your knees go weak with a simple raise of an eyebrow? Learning how to attract an alpha male is quite the art form.

What exactly is the attraction? Put simply, many people find this type of guy totally irresistible. Your skepticism is likely to change pretty quickly once you have your first encounter with the alpha species.

One look and you’ll turn to mush; a few minutes in his presence and you might not be able to form a coherent sentence.

It might sound pathetic, but this is the effect alpha males can have. [Read: 30 Alpha male characteristics that make you a real alpha]

What is an alpha male?

Of course, an alpha male is still flesh and blood. He’s just a man at the end of the day. He has just as many flaws as everyone else, but you’re dazzled by the exterior package.

There are many ways you can define an alpha male.

An alpha male could be strong and assured.

Maybe he’s just very confident and can hold the attention of a room with ease.

You could say that he’s tall, stocky, broad-shouldered, and muscly. He might be cocky and arrogant, or silent and brooding. [Read: 30 traits that make you a typical ‘type A’ personality]

He could be any of the above, or none of them. But all said and done, an alpha male is the type of guy who loves to be the boss. He’s in charge, and he’s the one who makes decisions. Whether it’s in his job, relationship, or friendships, he’s the one calling the shots.

And that’s usually really attractive to certain women, for obvious reasons. A guy in charge is the type to take action and put effort into things. It’s sexy watching a guy get what he wants.

However, an alpha male can be a man who simply makes you feel safe, loved, adored, and special. If you have someone bordering on the fringes of your life who fits this description, we’re going to teach you how to attract an alpha male and keep him firmly in your life for the foreseeable future.

[Read: Dating expectations – Type A vs type B personalities]

How to attract an alpha male with ease

First things first, before you make all kinds of efforts to attract this man into your life, ask yourself what you find attractive about him. Is it all bravado? Is there something a little more lurking below the surface? Only you can tell!

Before we begin – a disclaimer. These steps might grate on you a little, they might make you feel like you must flatter someone for the sake of it, and hold back for no apparent reason. It’s true, most people feel that way also, but an alpha male is not going to take kindly to random acts of affectionate spontaneity.

Stick to the plan for the best results! [Read: How to be an alpha male: Unleash the irresistible inner you]

1. Let him be in control

An alpha male is not going to appreciate you asking him out. He needs to be the one to make that move and do the asking. It might sound all 1950s, but this is what needs to happen if you want to know how to attract an alpha male in the easiest possible way.

You need to understand that a man such as this has an epic ego, for good or bad. He will feel as though he has failed in his manliness *or something akin to that* if you do the asking. Wrong? Yes, but that’s the world we’re dealing with here! [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]

2. Flatter his ego

The ‘E’ word again. Ego! Yes, shower this man with compliments and make him feel good. If you can do that, you increase his confidence and make him feel on top of the world. He’s more likely to do the asking out in this case.

A strong man such as an alpha male needs to feel needed and wanted, and flattering that side of his character will build him up, rather than knock him down. [Read: 22 secret signs you’re dating an egomaniac]

3. Show your own confidence

An alpha male will be attracted to an alpha partner; call it evolution or some strange law of attraction. If you want to know how to attract an alpha male into your life, show the same level of confidence in return.

If you need to fake it at first, go for it, because that faked confidence will soon build into genuine confidence. Something you can continue to use throughout your life, not only in attempting to attract this rather alpha of males! [Read: 15 ways to unleash your inner alpha female]

4. Wear clothes that make you feel great

Again, this is about confidence and feeling good on the inside. Don’t attempt to attract an alpha male by not being yourself. You’re setting yourself up for a long road of forcing yourself into someone else’s character!

Instead, wear clothes you feel great in, which will then allow you to be your true self, brimming with confidence.

5. Speak about things you’re passionate about

If you can find a piece of common ground to talk about, something that you’re genuinely passionate about yourself, you’ll attract this alpha quicker than you click your fingers. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you]

Do a little social media snooping if you need to, but come up with a piece of common interest that you both share. Then, weave it into the conversation.

He will be thrilled that he’s met a confident and like-minded person, and if you can throw in some compliments, you’ll find the process goes your way!

6. Don’t be overconfident or cocky

There is a difference between acting confident and being too confident. Don’t let your confidence go over the line toward cockiness. It’s not attractive, and it’s not you!

Always be genuine, but humble at the same time. Confidence isn’t about being in someone’s face. It’s a quiet self-assured vibe infectious to those around you. If you want to know how to attract an alpha male, confidence is key, and cockiness is out. [Read: The awful dating habits that are keeping you single]

7. Don’t make fun of him

Even if you’re joking, never make fun of your alpha male. He is a strong character, but his ego is easily wounded. Wait until you’ve established your union a little before teasing him with jokes.

It’s likely he won’t understand that you’re joking, and he’ll take it far too seriously! In this case, you’re not going to attract him, but push him away. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive about everything all the time]

8. Make him feel needed

An alpha male needs to have his ego stroked. He always loves to feel needed. Even if you don’t need help, pretend that you do. Underhanded, yes, we know, but it works!

It can be anything. It might be helping with changing your car tire or that you can’t open your bottle of soda – whatever works!

Opening up a conversation with “oh, I really need your help” is a winner in terms of how to attract an alpha male. [Read: Why alpha males find a damsel in distress so irresistible!]

9. Focus on yourself

Have your own interest and hobbies, and talk about them with passion in your eyes. This makes you strong and passionate, two things that are instantly attractive to an alpha male!

Don’t share everything about yourself, and allow a little mystery to build up. This will pique his attention. When used with the other methods, you’ll find the alpha showing signs of attraction. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]

10. Let him be independent

If you’re building up to a first date, or you’ve passed that date and you’re hoping for a second, make sure that you’re not heading into needy territory. An alpha male needs to be independent. He won’t stick around if he feels suffocated or tied down.

Keeping your own interests is the key way to do this. When you’re not together, don’t constantly message or call.

Let him do his thing, and he will wonder what you’re up to, and come back to you! [Read: How to stop being needy – Why people become clingy & how to fix it]

What type of woman is an alpha male attracted to?

Before you can learn how to date an alpha male, you need to attract said guy into your life. But, what type of person does he like?

We’ve just given you some go-to tips on how to attract him and that should give you an idea of what he’s going to like over the long-term. However, do not assume that you have to play games. He’s going to see through that instantly.

Be yourself. Be the confident, happy, independent, and fun person you know you are. You can’t change yourself to attract a specific type of person, after all.

However, an alpha male is unlikely to go for someone who simply doesn’t hold their own. You need to rock that confidence and believe in yourself. That’s not about changing your character, that’s about simply becoming who you’re meant to be. [Read: How to be confident – 28 life hacks to transform your future forever]

Dating an alpha male and making it work

Okay, you’ve attracted him, but now you need to know how to date an alpha male and keep his attention firmly on you.

First things first, you might not always have the best time dating an alpha male. They sound great and seem sexy at first, but after a little while, you could start to see their dominance as bossiness. This isn’t always the best thing.

However, if you’ve fallen for someone who’s a true alpha, you’ll need some tips for making it work. [Read: 20 relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]

1. Don’t try to date an alpha if you’re an alpha yourself

A lot of people think they should go for someone who’s like them. They have a lot in common so, why not? The problem here is that your personalities are going to clash.

If you’re dominant and in charge, and they’re also trying to be in charge, you’ll butt heads. You’ll both also get frustrated by feeling like your partner is trying to boss you around. If you have a very strong alpha personality, don’t try to date an alpha male. [Read: Why are you still dating the wrong person?]

2. Don’t be a pushover

On the flip side, you also don’t want to have a weak personality. You’ll get stomped all over. You can’t be a pushover when dating an alpha male because they’ll literally run the entire relationship.

You’ll be really unhappy this way because your opinions and ideas will just get lost beneath the alpha male’s. Plus, he won’t really like that either because stomping all over you won’t make him feel like he’s in charge. It’ll just feel like you don’t have any backbone, which isn’t attractive.

3. Don’t let him get away with any mistreatment

Some alpha males are known for being bad partners. Not all, obviously, but these types of guys get bad reputations for a reason. Because they have such pushy personalities, it’s easy to just let them do what they want simply because it’s hard for you to stand up to them.

But you have to. In order for the relationship to work, he needs to respect you. And that means if he’s ever acting like a dick due to his dominant personality, you have to put him in his place. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]

4. Challenge him sometimes

Just because a guy is an alpha male doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be challenged. In fact, he’ll probably love to be challenged with some things. Just make sure you don’t try to do this in front of his friends.

Instead, do it with a topic of conversation. Then, you’re not challenging his authority but rather, you’re challenging his view on a specific topic. This will help keep him interested because otherwise, he’ll be bored.

5. Let him know it’s okay to be vulnerable around you

Guys who are always the alpha in the room often need a place to break down. Maintaining control all the time is really difficult. If he feels like he always has to be a tough guy around you too, he’ll be very unhappy.

So while you still have to boost his alpha ego, you also need to show him it’s okay to not be this super put-together, in-charge person. Let him break down while also still treating him like an alpha at the same time. [Read: How to be emotionally available so you can actually find love]

6. Never embarrass him in front of coworkers or friends

This is a major thing to remember if you want your relationship with an alpha male to work out. Never put him down or embarrass him in front of the people he’s close to.

Sure, you can laugh and joke around, but any serious digs will make him very upset. He’s the authority guy, remember? He won’t like having others look at him as something lower.

7. Go with the flow

If you sit and question his every motive, he’ll get pretty annoyed. Alpha males like to do what they want. If you can’t just go with the follow and follow his lead, your relationship will be a struggle.

Show him you can be up for anything at a moment’s notice. He’ll see you as really fun and a person he can do a lot of interesting things spontaneously. Both of those are attractive qualities for an alpha male. [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]

8. Be blunt about the things bothering you

Don’t play hard to get or give him the silent treatment. An alpha male won’t like it. These types of guys just want you to come right out and say it.

If something he did bothered you, wait until you’re alone and just say so. If he has to guess what he’s done because you seem cranky at him, he’ll get irritated. Tell him how you feel and talk it out.

9. Talk about deep topics

These types of guys want a challenge. They don’t just want to sit and discuss the weather. He wants you to talk to him about some deeper topics.

Bring up some controversial news, ask what he thinks about it, and have a real, deep discussion about those things. He’ll admire this part of you. [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]

10. Don’t let him intimidate you

We get it. Dating an alpha male can be a little scary simply because they carry themselves with so much dominance. But you can’t let that intimidate you. If you do, you’ll end up looking like a sheepish person and that’s something alpha men don’t particularly like. [Read: How to be a strong independent woman all men love and desire]

Why is it worth trying to attract an alpha male?

You might wonder what all the fuss is about. After all, an alpha male is just a male with more bravado, right? Yes and no.

Some people find the strong masculinity of an alpha male totally captivating. Of course, there is a fine line between being a strong alpha male and just being overly arrogant and egotistical. That’s not really what an alpha male is about anyway.

It really depends what you find attractive. Not everyone appreciates an alpha male, but if you’re someone who does, now you know how to attract and date one!

[Read: How to tease a guy and make him realize just how much he likes you]

Understanding how to attract an alpha male might look like a dating handbook from the ‘50s, but it’s simply the way this type of man is designed.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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