It may be harsh, but it’s the truth. Not enough men know how to make a girl come. They may think they do, but more often than not, the women are just helping themselves out. Or faking it. I know that sounds bad but it’s not exactly that guy’s fault.
Women are very complicated. And on top of that, we’re also fairly quiet about what we truly need in bed. All of this means we’re really just shooting ourselves in the foot when it comes to how often we can orgasm. But if guys were more aware of what women truly need in order to come, it might be a bit easier.
Why you always need to communicate in the bedroom
I’m sure you’ve heard by now how important communication is in a relationship but what about how crucial it is for your sex life? It’s extremely important to tell your partner what you want and need in bed for a lot of reasons.
First of all, all healthy relationships need a healthy sex life. Sex is an important way of connecting and bonding with your partner. If you’re not feeling fully satisfied, it could result in resentment and harmful feelings toward your partner. So open up and start talking about what you like and need in bed. [Read: How to effectively communicate in your relationship]
How to make a girl orgasm and keep her satisfied in bed
If you know how to make a girl come in bed, she’s going to be hooked. But I’ll admit, it won’t be all that easy. You have to practice and figure out what your woman likes specifically before you can make her come every time. But if you need some general help, I’ll fill you in on the most common things girls need in bed in order to finish.
#1 Relax her. The most important thing men need to know about how to make a girl come is that she needs to be relaxed. She can’t be tense and stressed. Guys can get off regardless, usually, but women are much different.
Since a huge part of the woman orgasm is mental, she can’t be focusing on the things that are stressing her out. So you need to get her to a nice, relaxed state first. Give her a massage, do the chores that are making her stressed, and do what you can to make sure she’s at ease. [Read: How to give a relaxing and sensual massage]
#2 Get her to trust you. Since the female orgasm is mental, like I already mentioned, she needs to be able to fully trust the person who’s making her come. If she thinks you’re hiding something or if she just doesn’t trust you in general, it’ll be harder for her to get off. So focus on showing her how committed you are and it’ll be easier for her.
#3 Use your fingers. AKA, don’t skip foreplay. You can’t go straight from making out to slipping yourself in her. It won’t work that way. After making out with her, start using your fingers on her. She needs to be stimulated internally and externally before she can be ready to come. [Read: How to finger a girl and make her orgasm]
#4 You can never go wrong with oral. In order to learn how to make a girl come, you need to learn to LOVE oral. Most women can’t actually get off through g-spot stimulation and reply on clit stimulation to get off. And the best way to do that is through oral.
You’ll have to practice this a lot in order to learn what she likes and needs. Many women need different amounts of pressure and focus on certain areas in order to get there. Take your time and remember what she responds to best.
#5 Ask her what she wants. This is a really easy way to learn how to make a girl come. Just ask her what she wants. Some girls still may be too shy to talk but if you ask, she’ll be more likely to tell you. The next time you’re getting busy, just ask her what she wants you to do.
#6 Listen to what she wants. After she’s been clear about what she wants, you actually need to do those things. If she says she needs oral, then do it. If she says she needs certain positions, then do them. Don’t ignore what she needs most because she won’t get off and she’ll be annoyed you didn’t listen. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#7 Pay attention to her body language. A woman’s body language gives away everything. She might not be able to tell you what she needs, but her body will. Focus on her breathing, the sounds she’s making, and the way her body responds to your touch. You’ll learn pretty quickly what she likes and what doesn’t do much if you’re paying attention.
#8 Last longer. Sorry, not sorry. This is essential. Women take far longer to reach orgasm than men do. It’s just anatomy. But men need to learn how to hold off from coming until their woman does. Either that or they need to know how to finish her off afterward.
You can prolong your orgasm easily if you just pull out and go down on her for a minute or so until you’ve relaxed. You can also masturbate the day you know you’ll be getting some and practice lasting longer and longer each time. [Read: 20 ways to easily last longer during sex]
#9 Try new things. Don’t go for the same moves you always do. If your girl isn’t finishing with them, then why repeat them. It’s important for the both of you to try new things in the bedroom because you never know what you’ll both like.
You could do something that she didn’t even know she would like. So switch it up and try some new moves every now and then.
#10 Show her that you’re enjoying yourself. I know it might take a while to learn how to make a girl come, but it should be a fun experience. Show her that. She needs to know that you love trying to get her off and you especially love when she actually comes. This will help her relax and not feel so selfish when it’s taking her a while.
#11 Focus on the clit. Clit stimulation is major for learning how to make a girl come. Many can’t get off from penetration so they need you to give their clit some focus. You can do this while you’re in her by using your hand on her as you’re going at it. Make sure to adjust your speed and pressure until she’s responding positively. [Read: 10 sexy ways to please her clit and leave her satisfied]
#12 Find her g-spot. It’s there. All women have one. You just have to locate it and then find the positions that work best to hit it. Generally speaking, the women’s g-spot is on the front wall of her vagina a few inches in. However, you can’t always feel it if it’s not stimulated. Fingering and turning her on a ton will help you find it.
#13 Don’t forget the rest of her body. Her genitals are not the only places that can turn her on. Her breasts and nipples can play a huge part in getting her off. Focus on sucking, squeezing, and even biting them. So long as it seems like she likes it, it’s fair game.
[Read: How to satisfy a woman in bed and make sex amazing]
I know how difficult it can be to learn how to make a girl come. But once you do, you’ll realize that it’s all about getting to know her needs and paying attention to what works best.
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