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How to Use Lube: 25 Best Lubricants for Sex, Pros, Cons & Secrets to Use Them

Interested in spicing, or slipping, up your sex life? Check out the best lubricants for sex, pros, cons, where people go wrong, and how to use them.

how to use lube - best lubricants for sex

When it comes to life between the sheets, many younger couples get squeamish when you suggest adding lube to their bedroom experience. While the stigma may be that only older couples use lubrication for sex, the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

Whether you’re looking to have a fabulous orgasm or bring a little adventure into your sex life, learning how to use lube is the way to go.

In fact, one study by the Indiana University found that 70% of the female participants identified sex as being more pleasurable, comfortable, and satisfying when using an outside lubricant. And you can’t go wrong with anything that makes sex more fun!

What is lube, anyway?

Lube, also known as a personal lubricant, is a liquid-like gel that helps reduce friction and discomfort during sex.

A lot of people think that it’s mostly used for penetrative sex, but it can also make masturbation, hand jobs, oral, and other types of sex a lot easier.

Without lube, any friction that happens during sexual activities can create small tears and cuts in the skin. It can also lead to general irritation which can lead to infections. So, that is one of the logical reasons to use it too. [Read: Painful sex – Health reasons why sex is painful for men]

Lube is sold in most pharmacies, and it comes in a variety of types, which we’ll discuss later.

Why people don’t want to use lube during sex

But why is it that lube *an element that makes awkward, dry sex turn into a magical slip-and-slide* gets such a bad rep? Here are some reasons why you may be feeling too embarrassed to try it out. [Read: When sex hurts for women – The causes of painful sex]

1. I can do it myself

Questioning a woman’s ability to get wet can be a major ego crush. After suggesting lubricant, perhaps your female partner became offended and insisted that her body can take care of itself.

Unfortunately, if it doesn’t and you proceed with intercourse anyway, this can lead to very uncomfortable sex and possibly a yeast infection.

The inability to get sufficiently wet can happen for all sorts of reasons, from not having enough foreplay to being on antidepressants or birth control. [Read: 32 sexy foreplay ideas for women and moves to leave her wet and waiting]

2. Your penis

Have you been afraid to introduce lube into the bedroom because you don’t want your penis to feel inferior? Believe it or not, some men feel this way.

Men who are circumcised lose the natural lubrication that comes with having a foreskin, making a hand job from yourself or your partner a lot less fluid.

Don’t be bashful about needing that extra element! Remember, boys: spit isn’t lube, and it isn’t sexy. [Read: Sex with an uncircumcised man – My first time, myths, truths, and FAQs]

3. It can be an ego killer

Asking about or suggesting to use lube might be a little bit of an ego killer on both ends. The female may be offended about her body’s ability to function, and the male partner might feel inferior for not being able to get her wet enough on his own merits.

Try not to take it so personally! Odds are, it has nothing to do with you.

4. A bad experience

It could be that ego isn’t your issue at all! Maybe you’ve simply had a bad experience bringing lube into the bedroom. [Read: 19 foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

When bringing a helpful element into your sex life—be it vibrators, nipple clamps, or lube—it’s important not only to know how to use it but also to know when enough is enough.

If you applied lube to your penis and then proceeded to slather her vagina with another handful, odds are you’re going to get a whole lot of slipping… and not a lot of satisfaction.

Too much lube makes rigorous sex turn into a potential hazard for the penis. Not to mention the lack of friction will leave you both disappointed. [Read: Intense sex – 17 pleasurable secrets and moves to make love with real passion]

Too little lube, on the other hand, can make you both feel that it’s not even effective.

Why you should consider using lube during sex

Do yourself a favor, and ignore the reasons listed above. Your ego or one bad apple should definitely not spoil the whole bunch, especially when it comes to your sex life. Still not convinced? Here are 7 reasons you should be.

1. Great for sensual massages

Many lubricants are actually marketed as “massage oil,” meaning not only is lube great for getting things wet and ready down below, but it’s also perfect for a little sensual massaging! [Read: 67 sensual erotic massage techniques and tips to arouse and give an orgasm]

Gliding your slick hands all over your partner’s body not only makes them feel great, but it also works for fantastic, teasing foreplay.

2. Oral sensations

Those practicing oral sex with their partners will definitely want to try a flavored lube at least once! This is a great way to spice up your oral pleasures if you’ve been with the same partner for quite some time, or if you simply don’t like the taste!

There are many flavored lubes available *not awful like flavored condoms, promise!*. [Read: How to eat a girl out – 81 oral sex tips to eat pussy and tongue her to bliss]

Lubricants even come in delicious-sounding, dessert-based lubes such as Chocolate Orange, Pomegranate Vanilla, Dulce de Leche, and Mojito Peppermint!

3. Combating vaginal dryness

The most obvious reason for throwing lube into the mix is to eradicate vaginal dryness. A dry vagina is the equivalent of a miniature army with spears, preventing your dick from passing the gates. Painful.

If you’re both doing everything right via foreplay and there’s still no wetness afoot, don’t feel bad—just add lube! [Read: 35 slippery good lube substitutes, how and when to use them, and ones to avoid]

Not only will lubrication solve your issues with dryness, but it will also enhance your sexual experience.

4. Great for quickies

Ever had one of those lazy days where neither one of you wants to put in the extra effort for foreplay, but you still want to have sex?

On those days, lube will be your best friend! Using lubrication will allow you to rush things along without experiencing discomfort along the way. [Read: 15 sexy ways to have the best quickie every time]

5. Heating and cooling lubes

Looking for a way to really bring a spark to your lovemaking? Try playing around with different lubricants, such as K-Y’s “Warming Liquid,” which will heat up upon contact and make for a fabulously tingling orgasm!

If you’re not a fan of warming up, there are cooling lubes that can help guys who suffer from premature ejaculation last longer.

6. A necessity for toys

Do you have an adventurous sex life? If you’re a fan of using sexy props in the bedroom or for backdoor action, then you’re going to want to pick up a bottle of lube. [Read: Must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first-timers]

This slick helper is pretty much essential for using any sex toy, including vibrators and dildos.

7. Great for baby-makin’

Are you trying to have a baby? Believe it or not, the right lube can help with that, too! If you’re gearing up to be parents, you’ll be interested to know that some lubes, such as Astroglide, are actually harmful to your sperm’s swimming capabilities.

That’s why brands like PreSeed and Conceive Plus have created slippery formulas that make your sessions sexier and your swimmers strong! [Read: 23 tips to get pregnant faster & myths and secrets to increase your chances]

8. Use it for an epic hand job

There’s more to sex than just sex. Foreplay is important too! And while you might be an expert at giving yourself a hand job, maybe your lady isn’t.

No one wants to have a hand job with too much friction, right? Sure, friction is good, but you need the right kind. You want your partner’s hand to glide up and down your penis pain-free, don’t you?

9. Take fingering your partner up a notch

During foreplay, it takes a woman a while to get turned on. [Read: 60 secrets to make a woman orgasm and master the art of making a girl cum hard]

And some get wetter than others and at different paces. So, if you want to take fingering her up a notch, why not try some lube?

When you use lube to finger her, not only do you slide inside her a lot easier, it feels a lot better for her too. This is especially true if you just started in on the foreplay and she hasn’t had much of a chance to get turned on by you yet.

10. Smear them over your toys

Not only does lube make it better when you finger your girl, but it can also help the two of you when you use toys. Many toys require insertion of some sort into either the vagina or the anus. [Read: 15 common types of sex toys all singles and couples must know about]

So, even though you might not have thought to put lube on your toys, it can make it a much more pleasurable experience not only for your partner but even for you.

11. Make anal play seamless

As you probably already know, the anus isn’t necessarily made for sex from a natural point of view. That doesn’t mean that anal play isn’t enjoyable for a lot of people, but the anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself.

So, while a vagina might be slow to get wet, the anus never does. That’s why it’s almost a must-have when it comes to anal play. [Read: How to have anal sex and 51 bum must-knows to prepare for your first time]

12. Try lube to make solo play even sexier

Just like you should use lube with your partner when she gives you a hand job, why not use it yourself? Masturbating is great with or without it, but using lube can make it even better.

When your penis gets all slippery wet, it makes it easier for you to fantasize about having sex with a hot girl. It mimics a woman’s natural lubrication, so it’s a lot easier to get into your fantasy when you use lube.

When to use lube

Most people think that lube is only used for penetrative sex to reduce friction during vaginal and anal sex. But it can also prevent micro-tears in the vagina or anus. For this reason, it can reduce the risk of STI transmission. [Read: STDs 101 – The most common types and their symptoms]

Lube should always be used during anal sex because the anal canal doesn’t produce natural lubrication, unlike the vagina. But otherwise, it’s up to your discretion. Do you think that it’ll make sex easier? More pleasurable? Safer?

Don’t let embarrassment get in the way. If you think lube could be beneficial, then whip out that bottle! [Read: Reasons why some women hate their vibrator]

When not to use lube

There are not any necessarily bad times to use lube. Using it has more advantages than disadvantages. However, you need to be aware of what kind of lube to use and at what time.

So, let’s look at the pros and cons of the different types you can use. [Read: Oils as lube – 22 best oils for sex, must-knows, and lube alternatives to avoid]

Types of lube

Now that you know why you should use lube, how do you choose which one to use? Well, there are many different types, so let’s discuss them so you can make the best decision for you and your partner.

1. Water

Don’t dump a bottle of water on your bits! Water-based lube is lube made with a water base. What does this mean though?


a. The most versatile option

b. Safe to use with condoms

c. pH balanced

d. It won’t stain sheets and washes off easily


a. Some users find it too sticky

b. Some find it too watery

[Read: How to buy condoms – 32 secrets to be a condom know-it-all before using one]

2. Silicone

Silicone lube looks and feels very similar to water lube, except its base is made of silicone. Although it’s very similar to water-based lube, there are some key differences:


a. Good for sensitive skin

b. Longer lasting

c. Made with high-grade ingredients

d. Safe to use with condoms


a. Can deteriorate silicone toys

[Read: The best male masturbation toys that are so much better than your hand]

3. Oil

You probably get the gist of what water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lube means. But its pros and cons are different from its other counterparts. These include: [Read: Oil based lubes: 22 best oils for sex, must-knows, and lube alternatives to avoid]


a. Long-lasting

b. Can double as a massage oil


a. Can increase the chances of a ripped or torn condom

b. Associated with higher rates of yeast infections

c. May stain sheets and clothing

[Read: Homemade pussy – 37 DIY sex toys for men that feel like the real thing]

4. Hybrid

Finally, you have the hybrid type of lube. This type tends to be water-based, but they also contain a small amount of silicone.


a. They last longer

b. Have a more slippery feeling

c. They don’t have any risk of damaging latex condoms or silicone sex toys


a. It can make sex toys feel gummy or sticky. In that case, another lube should be used.

How to choose the best lube to use

Everyone’s lube needs are different. For example, if you have sensitive skin, it’s a good idea to safely test any lube on your skin before you use it on your sensitive parts. [Read: 30 ways to please a woman and get her addicted sexually and emotionally]

The safest way is to test it out on your wrist or inner elbow first.

But even if this patch test goes well, your genitals might be even more sensitive. This is because there is a difference in the skin and mucous membrane in the area.

So, after trying it on your arm, you can try applying it on your penis or vagina to see if there is any sensitivity. [Read: The types of vaginas that make up all the vaginas in the world]

Another important thing to note is that water-based lubricants can slow sperm mobility. Therefore, if you’re trying to get pregnant, you should avoid this type. Instead, you can try some mineral or canola oils.

Ultimately, you just need to experiment by trying different lubes in varying amounts and see what feels best to you and your partner. Once you find a lube that works for both of you, sex will be even more comfortable and hot.

[Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom and leave you horny 24/7]

If you have the mindset that lube is only applicable for dried-up women, you need to seriously retrain your brain. Lubrication can add a special spice of slip-and-slide into your sex life that you may soon realize you were sorely lacking. What are you waiting for? Go pick up a bottle!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...