Want to learn the art of giving an erotic massage? As one-half of a couple, knowing how to give your partner a sensual massage is an important skill!
A massage is just like lovemaking. It’s a moment in time that binds two people in a bond that’s blissful and perfect. That is why you need to know sensual massage techniques.
When you’re experiencing a perfect massage, time could fly and you’d never want those hands to move away.
You’d just want to lie there feeling the overpowering sense of giddy abandonment taking you over completely. [Read: The five senses of sex and how it can make lovemaking better]
Sensual massage techniques can bring both of you together, even though only one person experiences the pleasure of perfect pressure.
As long as you know how to perfect the art of a good sensual massage, you’ll be able to work wonders and win the gratitude of your lover, which is the end goal.
Benefits of a sensual massage
Massages feel amazing, but that’s not their only benefit. There are a lot of other reasons you and your partner should trade sensual massages on a regular basis. Here are some major advantages. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 naughty and sexy ways]
1. Relaxes and soothes your muscles
This is the most obvious benefit of a sensual massage. People use their muscles all day every day with normal activities.
We can get sore from time to time because of the strain on the muscles. Massage will help loosen and relax your muscles.
2. Helps eliminate stress
Everyone has stress in their lives, but no one likes it. Sensual massages help release the tension of stress and have a calming effect on your body. They can also help to get rid of stress by relaxing your mind and body.
3. Improves sleep quality
This is a very important benefit of a sensual massage. A lot of people are sleep-deprived and don’t get a good night’s sleep.
Because it puts your muscles and joints at ease, it can act as a sleep booster and enhance your body’s natural ability to get a more restful sleep. [Read: How to give a good sensual massage and work your magic]
4. Improves your mood
If you’ve had a bad day, a sensual massage can help you get into a better mood. Mindfulness and relaxation are also achieved, which makes people naturally feel happier.
It will make you feel better, both mentally and physically, and will give you a chance to focus on your needs instead of your worries and concerns.
5. Enhances your sex life
Sensual massage helps create a gentle stirring of your emotions, arouses your senses, lubricates your muscles, and puts you into a state of sexual satisfaction.
It boosts intimacy by bringing you and your partner closer together, which makes you desire sexual intercourse more.
Before you try giving your partner a sensual massage, there are some basics that you should know. Let’s dive into them to get you started. [Read: Massage therapist confessions – Bizarre massage stories]
1. Get an education
There are many self-help guides on a huge number of subjects, and massage is certainly no exception. YouTube it or, if you’re feeling a little more adventurous, try some slightly more risqué sites.
You will be able to find advice on tantric massage, the grand-daddy of sensual finger play techniques, and other types of erotic massage – a definite plus on the road to administering an orgasm.
2. Talking while massaging
Try to reduce any verbal communication while massaging your partner. If you need to ask your partner something, speak very softly so that you’re not breaking the connection of energies you’re building up through the massage. [Read: Tantric massage and the beginners guide to awaken your deeper sexuality]
A sensual massage is all about nonverbal communication and the exchange of energies so both of you can feel more loved and connected. Don’t disturb the bond by laughing, talking loudly, or getting distracted.
3. Loosening the knots
Knots are tight muscles that can build up with stress or bad posture. While massaging your partner’s knots, work with them by listening to the moans and the grunts.
Apply more pressure around the knots when you feel like they need it and reduce it where the body seems soft and supple. You’ll learn with time., but always remember that it’s better to start the massage by applying less pressure. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a really sexy relationship]
4. Massage sex
You don’t need to end a massage with sex all the time. Sometimes, just massage your lover until they’re blissfully lazy or too drowsy to move. Without the expectation of sex, your partner can just relax without having to be on guard.
Likewise, make it clear to your partner that you don’t want to be massaged back on the same day. They may feel obligated to return the favor, and that’ll ruin the relaxing sensation flowing through your lover.
If both of you feel like having sex after a sensual massage then don’t hold back, but if your partner doesn’t initiate it, you shouldn’t initiate it either. A sensual massage doesn’t always have to end in sex as long as you sexually satisfy your lover. [Read: The real secret behind how size actually matters to women]
The best part here is that if you do connect with your lover emotionally while massaging them, you’ll feel just as rejuvenated and relaxed with these sensual massage techniques!
Know your erogenous zones
Since a sensual massage is no ordinary massage, you’re going to have to get to know the erogenous zones so that you can touch your partner in all the right spots.
1. Tertiary erogenous zones
The third level of erogenous zones is what you move to after the initial relaxation stage. The important thing to remember is that you can target or avoid as many areas as you wish.
Not all erogenous zones are sensitive to all people. In the tertiary zones, for example, some people go crazy over having their feet and armpits touched while some are quite repulsed by the idea.
The tertiary erogenous zone stage of the massage should make up about 40% of the overall massage. [Not sure how to start? Check out: Secret erogenous zones to drive men wild or The top female erogenous zones]
Typical tertiary zones: neck, thighs, feet, armpits, back, breasts, and the back of the knees.
2. Secondary erogenous zones
It’s time to raise the bar and get pulses racing. The secondary erogenous zones are far less ambiguous than those manipulated during the preceding stage.
What were sighs of pleasure should quickly turn into some pretty heavy panting. This stage of the massage should contribute to around 30% of the overall experience.
Typical secondary zones: nipples, testes, perineum, mons pubis, and buttocks. [Read: How to work your magic with a good sensual massage]
3. Primary erogenous zones
The final 30% of the massage is the part that puts you in a prime position to give your partner that mind-blowing orgasm that they should be eager for. Focus on these areas to really bring things to an explosive conclusion.
Typical primary zones are your partner’s clitoris, labia, vagina, shaft, testicles, perineum, penis, and anus.
Working on erogenous zones
Of course, in order to have a good sensual massage technique, you have to know about all the specific erogenous zones. After you’ve passed through most of his or her body, it’s time to get to the erotic part of the massage. [Read: Top erogenous zones that drive women wild]
By this time, their circulation has improved, they’re more relaxed, and their nerves are more sensitive, making them more responsive to stimulation of their erogenous zones.
Lightly stroke the edges of their gluteal cleft while increasing pressure to a knead as you go outwards. This will feel as if you’re gently groping their butt.
Use your fingernails to lightly scratch the inner thigh and gradually run your hand down her whole thigh like you’re grasping a pole. [Read: The secret pleasure triggers to arouse a woman instantly]
Rub their belly with moderate pressure using circular motions with both hands. Work your way from the center towards the sides.
4. Breasts and chest
If you’re touching their chest, do so lightly as it is sensitive. Apply moderate pressure from the base of the chest and continue toward the nipples using light circular touches. Work on one breast at a time.
5. The pubic areas
An erotic massage isn’t complete without focusing on her mound of Venus. Ask her to spread her legs a little and start by doing compressions on her pubic mound while running your hand along the base of her leg near her opening. [Read: Massaging your partner to orgasms – 20 pivotal dos and don’ts]
Make sure that you use light touches if you’re near her vaginal opening to enhance the teasing effect. If she starts to move, flinch, or moan – that’s fine. It means you’re doing a great job.
Mastering all the essential sensual massage techniques
You don’t need to take a six-week course to learn how to give a massage. The most important thing you need is the will to give your partner a massage. If you have the will, you’ll find the way.
That’s why you’re here, right? You’re panicking because they’re coming over soon, and you want to surprise them with a sensual massage, but you only know how to karate chop. [Read: Sexual foreplay – 26 lusty secrets to do it well and make them hot and horny]
Fair enough. Some people like a solid chop to the back, but there are some sensual massage techniques and tricks you can pull out of your sleeve.
1. Shiatsu sensual massage technique
Shiatsu massage is one of the easiest techniques for people that don’t have much experience giving massages. Basically, this technique consists of using your thumbs and applying pressure to the body.
You press, stretch, knead, or tap while moving your thumbs in a circular motion. At first, don’t apply too much pressure. You don’t want your partner to get hurt. [Read: Shower sex – 18 sexy bathroom secrets to get wet, make love, and not slip]
2. Compression sensual massage technique
Use this technique with the shiatsu technique. The compression technique is exactly what it says.
You’re applying pressure to the body by pressing your palms flat onto the area, rubbing in a circular motion. This is usually done right before going into a deeper massage, such as shiatsu.
3. Kneading sensual massage technique
This is similar to the shiatsu technique in that it’s typically used for a deeper massage. You would usually use this for the butt or other meatier areas of the body. [Read: Erotic massage 101 – how to work some magic]
Stay away from massaging the stomach. Not everyone is cool with that. Have you ever kneaded bread before? That’s exactly what you have to do.
In general, massage is about knowing the right hand movements and where to apply such movements. Erotic massage aims to tease and arouse more than to provide physical relaxation, so it is generally lighter than a conventional massage.
4. Nuru sensual massage technique
Nuru massage originated in Japan, where it has been used for centuries. Also known as the body-to-body massage, the receiver and the masseuse are both naked and covered in special gel, which makes them very slippery during the treatment. In fact, “nuru” means “slippery” in Japanese. [Read: 30 hot, sizzling ways to spice up your sex life and leave you horny 24/7]
The masseuse uses their entire body to slide over the receiver’s body, which gives them an intensely sensual experience. Full body contact helps produce incredible sensations that arouse your body and mind.
The gel is odorless and colorless and is made from nori seaweed abstract, aloe vera, grapefruit abstract, and other natural ingredients.
5. Genital massage technique
The genital massage technique is what it sounds like – massaging your partner’s genitals. A vaginal massage involves massaging the muscle tissues inside the vaginal canal. While it’s done differently, it functions the same way as a back or foot massage. [Read: Sex tutorial – 20 things about how to have and enjoy sex that no one tells you]
A testicular massage is exactly what it sounds like, too – massaging the man’s balls. The prostate massage is known in tantra as a way to release the tension and stress of the recipient.
Hand movements and massage techniques
Now that you know some of the general techniques to use in sensual massage, let’s go over some of the hand movements you should be using.
1. Friction or stroking
The easiest and lightest technique is friction-based rubbing. This kind of movement aims to stimulate the sense of touch.
This is done by using the whole surface area of your hands in contact with your partner’s body. The touch should be full contact with only light pressure. [Read: 20 things you can do to get your woman in the mood]
Compression is done by applying pressure over a specific area. This technique aims to reach the muscles and connective tissue below the skin and increase blood circulation over that specific area. Compression is usually done using the palms of both hands.
Kneading is similar to compression, but it focuses on a more precise area and utilizes rhythmic circular motions. This technique requires the most pressure and is used to target large muscles, such as the buttocks, thighs, and belly.
Setting the mood for the massage
Be it casual, erotic, or therapeutic, a massage requires several basic things for enjoyment. Without these things, it would hardly be called a massage. Make sure you prepare beforehand for a more relaxed massage session. [Read: Tantric sex – the beginner’s guide to awakening your sexuality]
1. Prepare a relaxing venue
No one can relax in an environment that isn’t very relaxing. No relaxation means no orgasm. It’s up to you to set the scene and make the immediate area more conducive to the activities you’ve planned.
Always remember that the venue and ambiance make or break the massage. You just really need to get the setting right. As a general rule for any massage session, the place should be clean, relaxing, and private.
Your partner can experience the pleasure of a good massage only when they feel relaxed and uninhibited. Dim the lights if your partner feels awkward about lying in the nude under bright light or use a soft cloth to cover their butt. [Read: How to look really good naked using 15 real-life tips]
If you’re really into it, you can add mood lighting, candles, and ambient music to make it a complete spa experience.
Don’t forget to dress yourself up in soft clothing or take your clothes off.
2. The massage bed
If you, like most people, don’t have a proper massage bed, you could opt for a mattress you can set on the floor or your bed. Use clean sheets and cover the top with a large towel to soak up the oil you’ll be using. [Read: 15 sexy conversation starters for couples to get you horny in minutes]
3. Turn on the air conditioning or heat to comfortable levels
You and your partner will probably be at least half-naked during the session, so set the temperature just right.
4. Choosing the right massage oil
Oil is an essential item when giving a massage, as it eases the movement of the hands over the skin. It also makes the touch more pleasurable because not everyone has soft hands.
There are many types of massage oils to purchase at specialty shops, but the most commonly used are lavender, rose, or jasmine oil. You can also opt for coconut, sesame, or almond oil. [Read: What are the five senses of sexy lovemaking?]
Needless to say, massage gets messy. You don’t want to rub oil all over the place when you’re done. Make sure you have fresh, clean towels lying around to pat them down with when you’re done.
As the masseur, make sure you have clean hands and trimmed fingernails to avoid scratches on their skin. Ask them to shower before the massage to avoid the day’s dirt spreading over their body during the massage.
7. Undisturbed time
If you want to give your lover a great sensual massage, give yourselves at least an hour of undisturbed time. [Read: The massage virgin’s guide to massage etiquette]
A sensual massage is a union of two minds, and to experience it completely, you need to think of nothing but the way your hands feel against your partner’s body.
8. Things you need
There are no necessities for a good massage. Just your bare hands should suffice, but if you want to heighten the pleasurable sensation, keep a bottle of body lotion *non-sticky and water-based* nearby.
Want to go one step further? Light fragrant incense, use massage oils, and play some soothing ambient music at a low volume. Remember to avoid using oils that have an overpowering fragrance.
9. It’s all about lighting
No one gives a sensual massage under fluorescent lighting. What an eyesore! If you want to give a sensual massage, you need to set the mood.
If you can’t dim the lights in your room to give a soft ambiance, turn the lights off and light candles instead. [Read: 16 ways to get your room to scream sex]
10. Go easy on the music
Now is not the time to play your favorite heavy metal or punk rock band. There are 364 other days to do that. If you can, add some soft music – not elevator music, but more meditation and relaxation music.
It’ll create a warm atmosphere and allow your partner to actually relax, which is the entire point of this massage. [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]
11. It’s all about the nose
If you’re giving your partner a sensual massage, you don’t want their nostrils to be filled with the scent of dirty underwear or day-old cheese. It’s all about the scent.
Don’t be afraid to use essences or a fragrant oil that helps them to relax. You may not think this is a big deal, but they want to relax with the smell of something cozy and warm.
12. Don’t cheap out on the oil
Listen, you don’t have to use nice towels or go out and buy a CD specifically for massage music. Don’t blow your money on those things! You can easily download music or use an old towel from home *just make sure it’s clean and stain-free*. [Read: How to get in the mood when your libido is completely absent]
But you shouldn’t cheap out on the oil. This is what’s going to be applied to their body and absorbed by their skin. Make sure the oil is 100% natural so that they don’t break out.
13. Know the oils that work
There are literally hundreds of oils on the market that claim to do wonders for massages. Sure, you can try them all out, but there are oils that are well-known for being great to use for massages. Try rose oil, sandalwood oil, or grapeseed oil.
14. Choose your weapons
When it’s time to blow *and the signs will be more than apparent*, it’s time to choose your weapons – fingers, tongue, lips, or a sex toy.
Apply yourself with dedication and consistency until the ultimate goal is achieved: the climax. This is no time to get bored, tired, or selfish! [Do toys tickle your fancy? Read: Must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first-timers]
How to give your partner a good sensual massage
Have you ever given a sensual massage to your partner? How do you feel when you give a massage to your lover? Most importantly, did your partner really enjoy it?
You may not realize this, but a sensual massage is a union of two bodies experiencing the bliss felt by one.
A massage isn’t about one person doing all the work while the other partner experiences a good rub down. [Read: The right way to dress for sex and enjoy it better]
When you massage your lover, you’ll start to feel as good as your partner.
That can happen only when you truly connect with your partner and let the energy flow between your bodies.
Mastering all the right sensual massage techniques
A massage doesn’t take long, nor does it require a lot of accessories. Once you understand what a sensual massage really needs, you’ll be able to prepare for it within a few minutes and enjoy a rejuvenating massage that’ll make both of you feel good.
You don’t need nimble fingers or a brow full of dripping sweat to apply the right pressure or give the perfect massage. [Read: The art of arranging a bedroom to create a sex bedroom]
You just need to keep these 18 steps in mind to create an experience that’s reminiscent of helpless ecstasy and complete bliss for both of you.
1. Don’t massage with the expectation of getting one back
Seriously, don’t do it. We’re only telling you this because you’re not going to get one back, at least not on the same day.
They just had a massage. They’re relaxed. The last thing they want to do is massage you. Sorry. However, if you’re thinking that this could trigger their sexual arousal, that’s different and it might work. [Read: Are you being selfish in the relationship? 19 signs you’re being a user]
2. Have patience
Relax and calm your mind. Patience is the key to giving a good massage. Feel good about yourself and prepare your mind to selflessly please your partner without expecting anything but happiness and relaxation in return. Take a few deep breaths and avoid any distractions.
3. The warm-up to the massage
Ask your partner to lie on their tummy on the bed. Sit by their side, or on their butt or thighs if they’re comfortable with your body weight.
Place your hands on your partner’s upper back and move your hands all over their back. Pour a liberal amount of lotion or oil on their back and start moving your hands around slowly. [Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses]
4. Make sure your hands are warm
This may sound silly, but having two cold hands touching your back isn’t a fun experience. In fact, it’s more of a turn-off. That’s not what you want.
Before touching your partner, with the oil in your hands, rub them together for a minute to make sure the oil warms up. It’s a simple thing to do, but it makes a world of difference.
5. Start slowly
You need to get your head around the fact that sensual massage requires a gradual escalation process that relies on you starting slowly. Skip any steps or increase the pace to get to the end game a little quicker.
Begin with parts of the body that aren’t usually considered erogenous zones before you move on to the more sensitive areas. [Read: 43 ways to give a guy a rock-hard boner and mistakes many girls make]
The shoulders are usually considered the best place to start because you can encourage relaxation without jumping directly into sexual stimulation. This stage should contribute about 40% to the overall sexual massage.
6. Start with a head massage
Everyone loves head massages. Head massages do not require oil, and you can do simple strokes and kneading. Focus on kneading their scalp lightly with your fingers and stroking from their hairline towards the crown.
Alternate kneading and stroking and end it with a gentle rub at the back of their neck. [Read: How to give a sensual massage and work your magic]
7. Oil up their whole body with light strokes
Start at the back below your partner’s shoulders. Technically, you are just applying oil, but you’re giving them a back rub at the same time.
Use long strokes with the whole surface area of your hand to apply oil over their back from the shoulders to the top of their buttocks. Once you’re done with the torso, apply oil over their arms, and then their legs and feet.
8. Apply modest friction along the grain of the muscles
Do this to bring optimal pleasure to your partner. Going against the muscle grain makes your touches awkward and uncomfortable. [Read: 26 sexy, dirty, freaky things to say and do in bed and try something new]
9. Work your way from the center mass out toward the appendages
Start with kneading from the back to the sides, ending with the moderate pressure of your fingertips from the arms towards the hands. As mentioned, apply more pressure by kneading larger muscles, such as the buttocks and legs.
10. Work your way down the body
If you’re not sure where to start, the best place to begin the massage is the head. Then, you can work your way down. If you start from the head, don’t use oil until you reach their neck.
No one likes having oil in their hair. Starting from the head or neck and working your way down is the safest way to give a massage. [Read: 87 best truth or dare questions for a wild and sexy night]
11. Don’t go to the erogenous zones right away
If you want to massage your partner and hopefully turn them on in the process, you just can’t go straight to their erogenous zones even if you are working on your sensual massage techniques. Come on, people! Think of it like starting a car in the middle of winter.
You need to warm up the engine. Take things slow and start massaging their neck, upper back, arms, and mid-back. Then, work your way down to their lower back and upper thighs.
You want the person receiving a massage to have a pleasurable experience, so take your time and get close to touching their erogenous zones without actually touching them.
12. The energy exchange
The energy exchange is the most important part of a good sensual massage. As you move your hands gently over your partner’s back, close your eyes and feel your hands move against your lover’s body. [Read: 25 secrets to seduce before a kiss and turn a guy on while kissing him]
Breathe deeply and feel your partner breathing through your hands. Apply a little pressure on their back, close your eyes, and visualize the love and affection you have for your partner.
Visualize the positive energy flowing from your body to your hands and into your partner’s body. As you experience the flow of energy, your bodies will create a powerful connection that will bind both of you together in sensual bliss.
Your partner will feel what you feel, and you’ll feel what your partner feels. Love and lust will start flowing between your bodies. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry in a relationship and make it stay]
This may seem rather out-of-this-world as you read it, but as soon as you try this step with your partner, you’ll realize the connection within a few minutes. You may even find yourself laughing or getting misty-eyed because the connection could be so surprisingly powerful!
13. Vary the pressure
As you move your hands, vary the pressure that you’re applying to your partner. You’ll know how your partner feels – a happy moan implies good pressure, and a grunt or a painful moan means you need to reduce the pressure.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, ask your partner to tell you if you need to reduce or increase the pressure. To ensure that you’re giving a good massage, start in the middle of the back and move your hands outward and sideways. [Read: How to tease your girlfriend sexually and make her think of you all day]
14. Use something other than your hands
Who says you have to limit your massage to only using your hands? Sure, that seems like the logical thing to do, and you’ve probably never thought of using anything other than your hands.
However, to make it more interesting and sensual, try using your lips, teeth, toes, or any other body part of yours. Get as creative as you can. Not only will it be unique, but it will also be very memorable.
15. The feel-good zones
The neck, shoulders, and toes are the feel-good zones. If your partner doesn’t enjoy a massage or if they’re still feeling stiff or awkward, start with this region.
These areas would help your partner relax immediately, shed their inhibitions, and enjoy your hands against their body. [Read: Ways to make married sex feel like a one-night stand]
16. The sensual zones
A sensual massage is no good when you don’t spend a lot of time in the sensual zones – the pelvic crease, inner thigh, and lower back. As you move your hands all over your partner, pay attention to the way their body feels. If it feels rigid, you need to focus on the feel-good zones.
If it feels relaxed and moves easily, they’re ready for the sensual zones. Spend a lot of time massaging your lover around their sensual zone. If you want to bring more passion into the massage, kiss or nibble your partner around their sensual zone now and then.
17. Getting sexual and sensual
As you continue massaging your partner, switch between the sensual and the feel-good zones every now and then. If your partner gets turned on, focus more on the sensual zones so they can enjoy the sexual side of a relaxing massage.
You can even go down on your partner to help them experience a sexual release that’ll surely give them both physical and mental fulfillment. [Confession: My Asian happy ending massage experience]
18. The cool-down
After a while, just as you started by gradually increasing the pressure with your hands, start slowly reducing the pressure you’re applying on their body.
The cool-down process should take at least five minutes. When you start, reduce the pressure very gradually so your partner doesn’t realize the difference in your hand’s pressure.
Once you’ve almost completely reduced the pressure, move your hands all over your partner’s body gently and slowly so that they can still feel your soothing touch without the pressure.
End the sensual massage by softly kissing your lover’s body without disturbing their relaxed state of mind. [Need some practice first? Try: Sexy tips to turn yourself on with your senses]
Things you DON’T want to do
Now that you’ve learned all the right things to do to give the perfect sensual massage, there are also some things you definitely want to avoid doing. Keep these in mind, too, because they are equally important.
1. Forget to shower
No one likes a stinker! Make sure you’re spotlessly clean and scented.
2. Do it clothed
Starting out naked will likely just make them self-conscious and tense. [Read: How to look sexy without trying to look sexy]
3. Go in dry
No oil equals rough handling, desensitization, and a one-way ticket to never giving or getting another sensual massage.
4. Forget to manicure
The same from number 3 applies here.
5. Leap in for the kill
Make sure you follow the stages in a steady progression, or you risk killing the mood. [Check out: The sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed!]
6. Get bored
Maintain your rhythm and application. Massage time is selfless time that you’re giving your partner and needs to be treated as such.
7. Be a robot
Be responsive! Don’t just follow a game plan without room for spontaneity. If your partner expresses their want for additional stimulation somewhere, give it. If your partner asks you to avoid something, avoid it! These guidelines are simply that: guidelines.
8. Try to get in on the act
It’ll be tempting, but you’ll get your turn eventually. Right now, it’s time to focus on your partner and their pleasure. [Try: Signs you’re being selfish in a relationship]
9. Throw in the towel
It’s a long and time-consuming journey, but a worthwhile one. You’ll get there in the end.
10. Don’t make a sharp exit
Running off at the point of the “O” is humiliating. Cool things down a bit first.
[Read: How to experience the bliss of tantric sex after a good massage]
Most would agree that getting a sensual massage from your special someone can be a great experience in many ways. First, you get it for free with an added affection bonus, and second, it can be a great bonding experience as a couple.