If there’s one thing that haunts our mind during our formative years as a teenager, it is sex, and of course, the kind of impression we make on the opposite sex.
But as we get hitched with someone and the years roll by, sex takes a backseat.
And soon enough, sex, just like many things in life start to become a chore.
And this can happen even if you don’t have kids. And one of you may just not want to have sex anymore.
Somehow, most people associate more kids with less sex. But that’s just not true.
There are innumerable couples without kids who would rather watch reruns of an old sitcom late at night than indulge in a bit of bang-bang.
Why partners don’t want to have sex anymore
The reasons can be many, but none of it is acceptable or justifiable, unless it’s a traumatic experience or a medical condition.
If that’s the case, well, true love should prevail and sex can be put on the backburner. But in all other cases, it’s just crazy to not want to have sex!
If one of you want to have sex and the other partner just doesn’t want to have sex anymore, perhaps, it’s time you do something about it. Here are the most common causes, and we’ve also pointed out a few things you can change to burst the boredom out of sex.
And we’ve given a few links within each pointer that could help make a big difference in your bedroom life. Of course, use the links that work for you and skip the ones that are too risqué for you!
#1 Not sexually attracted to your partner
Most people are confused about this, but seriously, sex and love are two completely different things. You can love someone intensely and still get physically attracted to someone else. Of course, with love comes passion, but it’s just not the same as raw physical attraction. So if you don’t want to have sex anymore, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It simply means you’re not sexually attracted to them anymore.
Over the years you’ve been together, you may have gotten so used to seeing each in the nude that getting naked before having sex may just not seem exciting anymore. And sexual arousal is also a lot about the sensitive touch, and that magical effect could have worn off too. [Read: Taking naked pictures of your partner]
If you don’t want to have sex or are completely uninterested in sex because you’re just not attracted to your lover anymore, you need to bring the passion back, or the rest of your sexual lives could be boring, miserable and a perfect place for cobwebs.
Most of us forget how sexually attractive our partners are, and need to be reminded about it now and then. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy]
As much as we make up our own minds, humans need constant reassurances from the people around us. Go out more often, meet more people and take off on a sexy vacation now and then. If you see your partner getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex, it would automatically make you desire your partner more. The bottom line here is desire. Rekindle that and realize how attractive your partner really is, and you’ll be drawn to your partner with a sexual surge you’ve never felt before. [Read: Fun on the beach for couples]
#2 Sex is too predictable
Are you so used to routine that you can actually count the bed creaks to the last digit each time you have sex? What starts off as a comfortable position can soon turn into the only position. Don’t let that happen. [Read: What men want in bed]
One of the best things you can do here is to try something new and exciting. Sex is never boring, it’s a part of life and evolution, and your mind will never get bored of it. It’s the routine that gets boring for partners. Trying something new can be uncomfortable at first, but it can open the doorway to better sex. It’s about experimenting slowly and bringing in a few changes one day at a time.
#3 It’s not as fun as it should be
You can try new sex positions all the time. But almost always, when sex isn’t fun, the new positions would only get more frustrating. Instead of trying new positions, try new things. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed]
Sex is like an amusement park. It’s got cotton candies and choo choo trains for the mild, and roller coasters and devil rides for the daredevils. And if you notice, crazy rides always get your adrenalin pumping. Sex works the same way too. If having sex in the house is too boring, go out and play. And as your adrenalin rises, so would your sexual libido.
[Read: Sexual fantasies for men]
[Read: Sexual fantasies for women]
#4 One of you isn’t turned on enough
Do you dress up and try to look your best when you go on a night out or for dinner at a great place? Of course, you do. But what about at home when you’re with your partner? Do you dress up and look nice?
Most people take their partner for granted, dress shabbily at home, and then whine about the boring sex. But sex, as much as it is emotional, is also physical. You need to look attractive to get the attraction. Don’t dress shabbily or in loose, ill fitting clothing. Don’t wear the same frayed shirt or pants every evening. Clean yourself up and dress to impress, even if you’re at home. Look good for your partner and they will obviously feel sexually attracted towards you. [Read: How to sleep with him in a sexy way]
And if it isn’t just about that, try a few new games that can arouse your partner. Sometimes, having sex too quickly can be quite annoying. Men may hate foreplay, but they love bedroom games that prolong foreplay in the manner they like.
[Read: Sexual role play for beginners]
These are just the first four reasons behind why your partner or you don’t want to have sex anymore. Click here to continue reading about more reasons behind why your partner is not interested in sex, and what you should do as a last resort.
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