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Deep Penetration: 21 Mistakes, Sexy Tips & Secrets that Make It SO Good!

There are many ways to enjoy sex, one of the best being deep penetration. This sex move will amplify your pleasure and enhance your intimacy. Here’s how!

deep penetration

If you’re not engaging in deep penetration, you’re missing out. While not everyone has a partner that makes deep penetration something special, there are always ways to do it. The truth is, there’s a lot of pleasure you’re not getting just because your sex isn’t deep enough.

There are more steps to consider than simply just penetrating when it comes to this move. So let’s take a deep dive *pun intended!* into the science, tips, and secrets behind deep penetration. [Read: 18 sensuous & spicy sex positions from the easy classics to the adventurous]

What is deep penetration?

Very simply, when it comes to sex, “deep penetration” refers to the act of going as far as possible into the vagina or anus with a penis, fingers, or sex toy. And the idea is often to stimulate deeper erogenous zones to increase sexual pleasure.

The psychology of deep penetration

Let’s dig deep into the bedrock of psychology to uncover the science behind the “deep” connection.

So, what do oxytocin, mirror neurons, and intimacy vs. surface-level connections have to do with deep penetration? A lot, friends, a whole lot.

1. Oxytocin – the love hormone and its role

Remember that euphoric, cuddly feeling you get after an intimate session with your partner? That’s oxytocin doing a happy dance in your brain.

Often referred to as the “love hormone,” oxytocin is released in large quantities during deep penetration, amping up your emotional closeness. [Read: Sexual intimacy – the meaning, 20 signs you’re losing it & secrets to grow it]

It doesn’t just stop at making you feel warm and fuzzy, it has the potential to increase pleasure and make those moments of deep penetration even more memorable. In other words, it’s the brain’s equivalent of setting off fireworks during the grand finale!

2. Mirror neurons – how they facilitate emotional connection

Do you know how you start mimicking the slang and mannerisms of your partner after spending enough time together? That’s thanks to our friend, the mirror neuron. These specialized cells in the brain are all about imitation and empathy.

When you’re deeply connected—both emotionally and physically—these neurons fire up, helping you sync better with your partner.

During deep penetration, when you’re both literally and metaphorically in tune. Mirror neurons can accentuate your emotional connection, making the experience profoundly more intimate.

3. Intimacy vs. surface-level connections – what distinguishes the two?

You could have a one-night stand, or you could have that soul-gripping, eye-locking moment of deep penetration with someone you’re emotionally connected to. Both are forms of human connection, but one goes beyond the surface.

Intimacy brings vulnerability, trust, and a deep sense of security that surface-level connections often lack.

When you engage in deep penetration within an intimate relationship, the act itself becomes a magnified expression of that emotional bond, making it not just a physical feat, but an emotional milestone. [Read: 34 passionate signs he’s making love to you and not just having sex]

All the ways deep penetration can push you over the edge

Sex, in general, feels great. But if you start implementing deep penetration regularly, you may realize there’s a huge difference. Here’s how it works to push you over the edge.

1. More types of orgasms require depth

That’s right. There’s more than just your g-spot and clit orgasm. There are actually two more zones that can make a woman orgasm – and they’re located much deeper.

Even deeper than the g-spot is the a-spot, or the anterior fornix.

This is located very high in a woman’s vagina on the front wall. That’s why it’s only hit with deep penetration. You also have a cervix orgasm that’s possible with deep penetration. [Read: Amazing types of female orgasms all girls can experience in bed]

2. The cervix actually has many pleasure receptors

This is how you can have a cervix orgasm. Having an orgasm this way is actually very rare and that’s because most women don’t know they can do it this way.

Obviously, deep penetration is needed to hit the cervix in the first place. And if you hit it too soon or too hard, it’ll be painful. That’s why you have to ease into this deep of penetration.

The cervix has to be relaxed and able to receive pleasure. But once you have it, it’ll feel like a whole-body orgasm.

3. You don’t usually have deep penetration

This is just the truth. If you’re not someone who has deep penetrative sex often, it’ll feel very, very different to you. Because your body isn’t used to the depth of penetration, it’s not accustomed to it. And that means it might be much easier for the woman to orgasm.

When you have the same sex over and over again, your body grows accustomed to it and that means it takes longer to reach orgasm. [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more fun & interesting when it’s boring & lame]

4. It fosters a feeling of emotional closeness

And this is something that can actually make the both of you even more turned on. When the penetration is particularly deep, you’re connected with someone much deeper than you are otherwise.

It makes you feel closer to them emotionally. And that emotional connection can help women – and even men – reach a much more intense orgasm.

Doing it right – The most important tips and secrets

We’ve all heard the adage, “Practice makes perfect,” but when it comes to deep penetration, it’s more like, “Practice makes pleasure.” Here’s your playbook for mastering the art. [Read: How to have spiritual sex & experience sexual pleasure beyond orgasms]

1. Establishing emotional safety

Before you venture into the depths, you’ve got to make sure the waters are safe. Emotional safety sets the stage for vulnerability and openness, crucial elements for a fulfilling experience of deep penetration.

In practical terms, that means open communication about desires, boundaries, and comfort levels.

2. Active listening

Carl Rogers wasn’t talking about the bedroom when he developed his theories on active listening, but boy, do they apply. When engaging in deep penetration, tune into your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues.

This empathic exchange allows for adjustments and enriches the experience, turning good sex into mind-blowing intimacy. [Read: Happy sex life – what a good sex life should look like In real life]

3. Sensate focus

This is all about being in the moment. Sensate focus encourages couples to explore touch and sensation without any goal other than to experience pleasure.

Apply this principle during deep penetration by not just aiming for the climax, but savoring every sensation leading up to it.

4. Build up to it

Rushing to the main event? Hold your horses! The tissues in the vaginal and anal canals need time to relax and expand.

So start with shallow penetration or other forms of foreplay. The anticipation itself can be a psychological aphrodisiac.

5. Go slowly

Don’t treat deep penetration like a sprint, it’s a marathon where pacing is key. Going slowly allows time for both partners to adjust and for the ‘love hormone’ to do its magic, making the eventual depth even more pleasurable. [Read: Slow sex and the steamy reasons that make it so sexy]

6. Wiggle around while he’s deep

Once you’re at maximum depth, small movements can make a world of difference. This slight motion can stimulate highly sensitive areas that often get overlooked, creating a tapestry of sensations that enrich the overall experience. [Read: Reasons you should have great sex every single day]

7. Change up the speed

Variety is the spice of life—and deep penetration! Changing the speed keeps the nervous system on its toes, metaphorically speaking. This variation can lead to heightened states of arousal and a more intense climax.

8. Alternate between deep and shallow penetration

Finally, don’t be afraid to switch things up. Alternating between deep and shallow penetration engages different nerve endings and provides a rich, varied sensation, making the experience multi-dimensional and, well, mind-blowing. [Read: 29 best sex positions & tips for small penis owners to go deep & hit the spot]

How not to do it – The precautions and boundaries

Think of this as your trusty seatbelt in the high-speed drive that can be deep penetration. Here’s how to make sure you’re not veering off into hazardous territory.

1. Not asking for consent

Consent isn’t just a one-time checkbox, it’s an ongoing process. Surprises can be sweet—chocolate on your pillow, a mid-day love text—but a surprise deep penetration? Not so much.

Always check in with your partner to ensure you’re both on the same page. And remember, consent can be revoked at any time. Proceed without it, and you’re not just risking discomfort, you’re infringing on basic rights.

2. Not understanding the limits

You’ve heard of pushing the envelope, but there are some boundaries that should never be pushed, especially in deep penetration. Lack of lubrication, sudden sharp movements, or ignoring your partner’s discomfort are straight-up red flags.

Deep penetration is not a no-pain-no-gain scenario, it should be pleasurable for both parties. If something hurts, stop. Period. [Read: Why does sex hurt? 15 quick signs something’s not right]

3. Forgetting the aftercare

Deep penetration can be a rollercoaster for your emotions, and sometimes, you need a soft landing. In BDSM, there’s a concept called ‘aftercare,’ and it’s relevant here, too.

After an intense session, take time for cuddling, soothing words, or whatever helps you and your partner come back to emotional equilibrium. Skipping this step can lead to emotional detachment or even feelings of vulnerability and unease.

Debunking myths and clarifying misconceptions

We’ve all heard the tall tales, the cultural narratives, and the claims about deep penetration. So, let’s separate the wheat from the chaff and dig into what’s real and what’s pure fiction.

1. Is deeper always better?

The common notion is that deeper penetration is always better, but this is more a Hollywood trope than a reality. Each person’s anatomy is different, and what feels like nirvana for one could be pain for another. [Read: Does penis size matter – big vs. small dick & 24 good & bad qualities of both]

Not to mention, different erogenous zones don’t require depth to be stimulated. Depth doesn’t necessarily mean more pleasure, it’s about the quality of the connection and stimulation. But does that mean you and your partner shouldn’t give it a try? Definitely not!

2. Can deep penetration make or break a relationship?

While a satisfying intimate life is a cornerstone of many relationships, let’s not put all our emotional eggs in the deep penetration basket.

A relationship is an ecosystem, made up of many different facets like emotional compatibility, shared values, and even similar humor.

Deep penetration can be a mind-blowing experience but claiming it’s the litmus test for relationship compatibility is like saying a Ferrari is only as good as its top speed. It’s just one piece of the puzzle.

3. Are there any risks to going too deep? Discussing the ‘vulnerability hangover’

Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can enhance the emotional richness of deep penetration.

On the other hand, going too emotionally deep too quickly can lead to what Brené Brown calls a “vulnerability hangover”—that icky feeling when you realize you’ve shared too much.

It can also happen physically: pushing for more depth than what’s comfortable can result in physical discomfort or even injury. The takeaway? Balance is key, and pacing is crucial.

It’s about exploration

Let’s not forget that at its core, deep penetration—like any form of intimacy—is about exploration. It’s a journey that can take you to new emotional and physical depths when approached in a safe and emotionally connected manner.

Here’s the crux: aim for meaning as well as depth. When you and your partner are fully attuned to each other’s needs and boundaries, the measure of your connection goes beyond the mere physical.

The depths you’ll reach are not just in inches or centimeters but in the incalculable realms of human connection and shared experience.

[Read: Sensual sex – 46 secrets, tips to try it & reasons why it’s so hot & passionate]

Deep penetration spices up the bedroom and can bring you closer to your partner. But remember, it’s not just about the depth, it’s about plunging into an experience that leaves both your heart and your body resonating with a harmonious “Whoa, let’s do that again!”

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer, and the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degr...
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