I know cuddling seems like one of the most basic things when it comes to being with someone. But if you’ve ever actually done it, it can get kind of awkward. Forgo the awkward part by learning how to cuddle someone in a way that would feel comfortable to both of you.
Once you’ve been together for a while, you’ll have go-to cuddling positions. But, if you’re newly dating or just hanging out, finding the right cuddle spot for you can take some practice.
Cuddling is so important to creating an emotional bond and connection. It releases cortisol *the feel-good hormone* and is like an extended hug. But, if you are cuddling in an uncomfortable position or are too nervous, it can make you sweat, creating a more awkward moment.
Stop the awkward! Learn how to cuddle someone the right way, and enjoy your time in each other’s arms.
[Read: How the surprising benefits of cuddling can make your life better]
Why cuddling is so important
Most solid relationships have a certain level of intimacy. Sure, that can be sexual, but it isn’t always not does it have to be. Intimacy can be holding hands, playing footsie under the table, or putting your arm around her shoulder while you watch a movie.
Although these things seem small, those little touches mean a lot. They bring you closeness and comfort. They make you feel safe. Having that physical connection, even when it is something the girl putting her feet up on a guy’s lap matters. It brings you closer emotionally, as well as physically.
If you are nervous to cuddle someone, slowly amping up your cuddling will not only help your partner to feel loved and comforted but will help put you at ease as well. The benefits of cuddling can not only improve your anxiety and nerves but can make your time together feel so much deeper.
[Read: From crush to companion – the 12 stages of intimacy]
How to cuddle someone in a way that works for both of you
There really is no right and wrong when it comes to cuddling. It is all about what works for the two of you. A position some people may love may not work for your current partner.
Cuddling is also versatile. You can cuddle on the couch while watching a movie or in bed before sleeping or after sex. You can cuddle while you’re having a deep conversation or while you’re looking at memes on your phones.
Cuddling is not just one thing. These tips can make you feel more relaxed, cozier, and help your partner or friend feel more at ease in your arms or vice versa.
#1 Start with something simple. You do not need to be touching every arm and leg. You don’t need to be spooning to cuddle with someone. Simply putting your arm around this person while watching TV so they can lean into your shoulder shows you want this person to feel close to you. [Read: These 7 types of romantic love will bring you closer together]
#2 Share a blanket. When two people are sharing a sofa and watching a movie, it can feel stiff. You might want to cuddle but not know how to start. A great buffer is a blanket.
Grab a throw blanket and share it. That will bring you closer together naturally. Slowly you can start touching legs or putting your arm around this person.
#3 Ask them if they’re comfortable. The first time I sat down to watch a movie with my boyfriend I felt like a statue. I didn’t want to lean on him or look too comfortable too early. Then, just minutes later he asked me if I was comfortable and pulled my legs across his lap.
Not only was it clear he cared how I felt, but it was a sweet gesture that avoided a night full of awkward rearranging. [Read: How to cuddle with a girl so it leads to a sexy snuggle and sex all the time]
#4 Have fun with it. Cuddling doesn’t have to be this intensely emotional time to just sit with each other unless you want it to be. You can tickle each other or goof around until you naturally fall into a position that is comfortable for both of you. [Read: How to be better at dating and enjoy every step along the way]
#5 Be smooth. Being smooth is not for everyone. Some people thrive on their awkwardness. If you’re a guy, work your way into cuddling by putting her hair behind her ear or even telling her that the color she’s wearing looks good on her.
#6 Check-in. Cuddling does not mean you find a comfortable position and stay like that for hours. You can move and change positions. What works best is not always the most clever or natural. Sometimes things are awkward.
My boyfriend and I will be cuddling, watching a movie and his arm will fall asleep under my neck and he’ll have to pull it out awkwardly. That is okay. Sometimes when we’ve been cuddling for a while I’ll ask if he’s comfortable or if I’m crushing his arm just to check in and let him know I want to make sure he is just as comfortable as I am.
#7 Switch places. Sure, traditionally a guy holds the girl, and he would be the big spoon who supports the girl’s weight. But we’re well into two decades of a whole new century! Switch it up. My boyfriend is a foot taller than me, yet he lays on me and uses me as a pillow. It is one of my favorite ways to cuddle. Whoever is taller, bigger, or a man, does not need to be the big spoon.
#8 Let the girl lead. Just because you’re the guy doesn’t mean you must make the first move, cuddling or otherwise. You can let the girl take the lead. Maybe she grabs your hand or leans against your arm. Let her make you comfortable and take the lead.
#9 Add a pillow. As sweet and loving as cuddling can be sometimes, it just isn’t that comfortable. It depends on your body types, where you’re sitting, and more. Grab a pillow, lay it in your lap, and ask if your partner wants to put their head down.
#10 Make it snack time. Snacks and cuddles are not mutually exclusive. Grab a bowl of popcorn or even some ice cream. If you’re sharing and you’re holding it, you have to be pretty cozy for your partner to get to it. [Read: How to sweet talk a girl and make her melt into you]
#11 Pets make it easy. If you are lucky enough to have a cuddly cat or dog, have them join the cuddle session. Pets make everyone eager to cuddle. So, if you’re nervous about cuddling, just have your pet do the heavy lifting.
#12 Just go for it. Worrying too much about how to cuddle someone can drive you nuts. If you are too concerned about how you smell, if you’re sweating, or if you seem awkward, you’ll make it worse by waiting so long to go in for it.
Just take a deep breath and put your arm around your cuddle partner, pull them into your chest, or even hold their hand. If they want to cuddle even more, your partner will make it known.
[Read: The best cuddling positions that’ll make you a much better cuddler]
Learning how to cuddle someone is all about trial and error and what works for your individual comfort. There is no right or wrong way to cuddle someone as long as you are both enjoying it.
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