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How to Cuddle Someone: A Guide to Snuggle Up and Feel the Love

Want to know how to cuddle someone? Snuggle up with them in a way that makes them fall even more in love with you right now.

how to cuddle someone

I know cuddling seems like one of the most basic things when it comes to being with someone. But if you’ve ever actually done it, it can get awkward. Forgo the awkward part by learning how to cuddle someone in a way that would feel comfortable to both of you.

Once you’ve been together for a while, you’ll have go-to cuddling positions. But, if you’re newly dating or just hanging out, finding the right cuddle spot for you can take some practice.

Cuddling is so important to creating an emotional bond and connection. It releases cortisol *the feel-good hormone* and is like an extended hug. But, if you are cuddling in an uncomfortable position or are too nervous, it can make you sweat, creating a more awkward moment. 

Stop the awkwardness! Learn how to cuddle someone the right way, and enjoy your time in each other’s arms [Read: How the surprising benefits of cuddling can make your life better]

Why cuddling is so important

Most solid relationships have a certain level of intimacy. Sure, that can be sexual, but it doesn’t always have to be. Intimacy can be holding hands, playing footsie under the table, or putting your arm around her shoulder while you watch a movie.

Although these things seem small, those little touches mean a lot. They bring you closeness and comfort. They make you feel safe. Having that physical connection, even when it is something as simple as the girl putting her feet up on a guy’s lap, matters. It brings you closer emotionally, as well as physically.

If you are nervous about cuddling someone, slowly amping up your cuddling will not only help your partner to feel loved and comforted but will help put you at ease as well. The benefits of cuddling can not only improve your anxiety and nerves but can make your time together feel so much deeper. [Read: From crush to companion – the 12 stages of intimacy]

How to cuddle someone

There really is no right and wrong when it comes to cuddling. It is all about what works for the two of you. A position some people may love may not work for your current partner.

Cuddling is also versatile. You can cuddle on the couch while watching a movie or in bed before sleeping or after sex. You can cuddle while you’re having a deep conversation or while you’re looking at memes on your phones.

Cuddling is not just one thing. These tips can make you feel more relaxed, cozier and help your partner or friend feel more at ease in your arms or vice versa.

1. Start with something simple

You do not need to be touching every arm and leg. You don’t need to be spooning to cuddle with someone.

Simply putting your arm around this person while watching TV so they can lean into your shoulder shows you want this person to feel close to you. [Read: These 7 types of romantic hugs will bring you closer together]

2. Share a blanket

When two people are sharing a sofa and watching a movie, it can feel stiff. You might want to cuddle but not know how to start. A great buffer is a blanket.

Grab a throw blanket and share it. That will bring you closer together naturally. Slowly you can start touching legs or putting your arm around this person.

3. Ask them if they’re comfortable

The first time I sat down to watch a movie with my boyfriend, I felt like a statue. I didn’t want to lean on him or look too comfortable too early. Then, just minutes later, he asked me if I was comfortable and pulled my legs across his lap.

Not only was it clear he cared how I felt, but it was a sweet gesture that avoided a night full of awkward rearranging. [Read: How to cuddle with a girl so it leads to a sexy snuggle and sex all the time]

4. Have fun with it

Cuddling doesn’t have to be this intensely emotional time to sit with each other unless you want it to be. You can tickle each other or goof around until you naturally fall into a position that is comfortable for both of you. [Read: How to be better at dating and enjoy every step along the way]

5. Be smooth

Being smooth is not for everyone. Some people thrive on their awkwardness. If you’re a guy, work your way into cuddling by tucking her hair behind her ear or even telling her that the color she’s wearing looks good on her.

6. Check-in

Cuddling does not mean you find a comfortable position and stay like that for hours. You can move and change positions. What works best is not always the most comfortable or natural. Sometimes, things are awkward.

My boyfriend and I will be cuddling, watching a movie, and his arm will fall asleep under my neck, and he’ll have to pull it out awkwardly. That is okay. Sometimes when we’ve been cuddling for a while, I’ll ask if he’s comfortable or if I’m crushing his arm to check in and let him know I want to make sure he is just as comfortable as I am.

7. Switch places

Sure, traditionally, a guy holds the girl, and he would be the big spoon who supports the girl’s weight. But we’re well into two decades of a whole new century! Switch it up. My boyfriend is a foot taller than me, yet he lays on me and uses me as a pillow. It is one of my favorite ways to cuddle. Whoever is taller, bigger, or a man does not need to be the big spoon. [Read: Wearing the pants in the relationship: Stop controlling love]

8. Let the girl lead

Just because you’re the guy doesn’t mean you must make the first move, cuddling or otherwise. You can let the girl take the lead. Maybe she grabs your hand or leans against your arm. Let her make you comfortable and take the lead.

9. Add a pillow

As sweet and loving as cuddling can sometimes be, it just isn’t that comfortable. It depends on your body type, where you’re sitting, and more. Grab a pillow, lay it in your lap, and ask if your partner wants to put their head down.

10. Make it snack time

Snacks and cuddles are not mutually exclusive. Grab a bowl of popcorn or even some ice cream. If you’re sharing and holding it, you have to be pretty cozy for your partner to get to it. [Read: How to sweet talk a girl and make her melt into you]

11. Pets make it easy

If you are lucky enough to have a cuddly cat or dog, have them join the cuddle session. Pets make everyone eager to cuddle. So, if you’re nervous about cuddling, have your pet do the heavy lifting.

12. Don’t cough while cuddling

Whether you have a cold or allergies, do not cough or sneeze while cuddling. It is not sanitary or cute. Be sure to pull away, turn away, and cover your mouth. Even excuse yourself to use a tissue, get some water, and wash your hands. Your cuddle buddy will appreciate the hygiene. [Read: Dating after COVID: How to feel safe and have fun]

13. Keep it PG-13

Cuddling does not have to lead to sex or even making out. Sure, it can, but if you are nervous about it, don’t assume that is the end goal. Cuddling can just be cuddling. That is what’s so great about it.

14. Smell good

No matter how you cuddle, you will be close enough to smell one another, so don’t forget the deodorant. Spritz some cologne or perfume. Maybe even light a scented candle to set the mood. The smell can really change the mood. Bad breath or B.O. can ruin a perfectly good moment. [Read: How to smell good and attract anyone you deeply desire]

15. Small touches are important

You don’t need to be giving your partner a full-on massage, but rubbing their back or leg or even playing with their hair is a sweet yet subtle way to show affection.

16. Be natural

Yes, cuddling naturally comes with some level of awkwardness. But let it flow, and try not to force it. If it doesn’t feel right, change the way you’re sitting. Do what feels right at the moment. Even ask them if they want to sit closer. [Read: How to build sexual chemistry while watching a movie and arouse them]

17. Go for it

Worrying too much about how to cuddle someone can drive you nuts. If you are too concerned about how you smell, if you’re sweating, or if you seem awkward, you’ll make it worse by waiting so long to go in for it.

Just take a deep breath and put your arm around your cuddle partner, pull them into your chest, or even hold their hand. If they want to cuddle, even more, your partner will make it known.

[Read: The best cuddling positions that’ll make you a much better cuddler]

Learning how to cuddle someone is all about trial and error and what works for your individual comfort. There is no right or wrong way to cuddle someone as long as you are both enjoying it.

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...