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How to Build Trust in a Relationship and Make it Last

how to build trust

Building trust in a relationship is crucial for a successful relationship, but most people look at trust as a threatening and sensitive burden. Find out how to build trust in a relationship and have the best time of your lives.

Trust is such a delicate and yet magical word in relationships.

If you can learn to trust your partner, you’d have a lover, a best friend, and a confidant all in one.

Trust can do so many happy things to a relationship, but the best thing it can do is bring both of you closer, avoid pain and hurt, and make both of you fall more in love with each other every single day.

How to build trust in a relationship

Most people are afraid of revealing their true inner sides in love.

At first, the guy and the girl are scared to kiss, and then they’re scared to go to second base, and then to the third.

Once they get past that, life gets a bit manageable and both of you start to open up with each other.

The body exploration is followed with drunken hangovers and awkward moments like untimely burps and dirty underwear. And then comes the first snore which is quite funny.

And yeah, we have the first fart. This is a difficult barrier to break, farting in front of a lover, and don’t we all know this. Once we’re comfortable with the fart, there’s really no stopping it!

It’s all funny and nice. But do you realize the one thing that matters here?

Every single incident that happened here didn’t happen just like that. Every single step took a little bit of trust that eventually accumulated into the comfort of the first noisy fart.

Once you know how to build trust in a relationship, the relationship enters the next little stage and gets that much happier and relaxed.

But somewhere along the way, people get comfortable physically and in a few other aspects, and soon enough, that’s where the comfortable and relaxed stage stops. At some point in a relationship, you stop sharing a few details with your partner. And that’s just wrong, so wrong. For a relationship to be successful, that should never happen. [Read: How to fix a relationship]

Why is trust so important?

If you think about it, why are you afraid of sharing all your thoughts with your partner? Probably because a few of your thoughts are immoral, too dirty, too stupid or perhaps, you’re afraid your partner will judge you negatively or even get hurt emotionally.

Simply put, you don’t trust your partner and your relationship enough to share your deepest, darkest secrets because you don’t trust your lover enough to unburden your thoughts or deeds onto their shoulder. [Read: How to better a relationship]

Being judged in a relationship

Most of us are very guarded in a relationship, especially when it comes to matters that are taboo in a relationship. And we do that because we’re afraid our partner might judge us negatively.

You discreetly stare at someone across the street, you take a stolen glance at an underwear model, and you wonder what your old college sweetheart is doing right now, but you don’t reveal these thoughts to your lover because you don’t want your partner to look at you in a negative light.

You want to appear your best when it comes to fidelity and true love. But have you ever considered this, you partner does have the same straying thoughts on their mind at times too. It’s natural, we’re all human and to admire someone else is natural.

The loss of communication

As the years pass by, these little thoughts get more and more suppressed, and these stupid thoughts start to become a fantasy getaway. And all this starts only because you assumed the secret thought was too taboo to talk about in the relationship in the first place. You know the logic here, you tell a child not to touch something and walk out of the room, and that’s the first thing the child would want to touch.

So by hiding a few details about how you feel or what you think, you’re actually distancing yourself from your lover, and living more in your fantasy world of people-watching-and-desiring or wanting to spend time doing something else.

Understanding each other and trusting each other

If you can think something, don’t you ever wonder if your partner could think about something along the same lines too? But you’ll never find out until you talk about it.

But on the other hand, you could comfortably talk about a few things with your good friends, because you know you have nothing to lose. They’re your friends and they’d never judge you, even if you tell them you find someone other than your partner sexy or that you enjoy shopping more than spending time with your partner!

On the other hand, your partner too may be having similar conversations with their own friends. If you can trust your partner enough to be frank with them, you’d have a happier relationship with fewer insecurities and worries. It’s alright to want to do something by yourself at times, or give an appreciative glance at someone else whom you fancy. [Read: How to know if you are in love]

Regaining trust after cheating in love

Sometimes, whether you want to or not, you may end up cheating on your partner. At times like these, regaining trust in a relationship takes a lot of time and patience. But as long as you communicate with each other about your thoughts and learn to be frank, your relationship would only grow stronger with time, and so would the trust in the relationship.

Three steps to building trust on a relationship

If you want to know how to build trust in a relationship, learn to be frank with your partner. Your partner is your lover, but they’re also supposed to be your best friend, a person who knows you and understands you better than anyone else in the whole world. Use these three steps to build trust in a relationship and it’ll go a long way in creating a happy relationship.

[Read: What men want in a woman]

[Read: What women want in a man]

#1 Talk about the long term

Are you looking for a serious relationship with your lover? If you are, you’re obviously in for the long haul. So make plans for it too. Talk about building a bigger house, having a pet dog, or how both your lives would be ten or twenty years from now. By talking about the future, you’re reassuring your partner that you truly want to be with them and see them in your life even as the years and decades pass by. [Read: Cute pet names]

#2 Be dependable

Being dependable is one of the biggest factors in knowing how to build trust in a relationship. If your partner asks you to get something on your way back to your place, do you get it or do you forget it? It could be the little things or it could be the big ones, but if you can be dependable, it makes all the difference in a happy relationship. Think Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, you just can’t depend on them for anything, can you? So can you trust them in your time of need? Of course not.

#3 Talk about the people you fancy

This can seem awkward and weird, but this is one of the biggest factors in building trust in a relationship. One of the biggest insecurities in a relationship is the fear of a partner straying away into someone else’s arms or liking someone else secretly. But actually acknowledging that either of you can find someone else attractive, you’re not making it taboo anymore. And by being truthful about it, you can build trust in the relationship and improve communication too. We’ll find out more about how to do this in the next part on improving communication.

Now knowing how to build trust in a relationship is not a small feat, but it’s something that can make both your lives happier and stress free, as long as you know to communicate and understand how to build trust in love.

Click here to continue reading about how to build trust in a relationship in effective communication in a relationship.


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17 thoughts on “How to Build Trust in a Relationship and Make it Last”

  1. Amar nath sah says:

    Actualy she is smart than me,i am trying to make relation with her since last three years but i am un successful. i dont know what should i do to make her fall in love. every night i call her for atleast 1 hour but i dont know what to talk with her,i dont find any topic so please help me..,she is samrt than me n have much more knowledge than me

  2. unknown says:

    !!!!!!HELP!!!! i know my boyfriend cheated on me even though he said he didnt. The girl called me and told me everything at first i was like noway but then she said the date the time the time i called him and the word for word convo me and him had. this is the same girl that has gotten in the last relationship i had dumb bitch cough cough. but anyway he denies it all..i can read people very well and i can tell hes scared to tell me because he knows it was wrong he knows i have a lot of problems with this girl i know he regrets it .i just want him to tell e the truth i guess that way i can move on completely. I have been trying to get it out of him and he cought on a little so i have been laying low. we are getting serious an i am just scared he might do it again. i grw up in a family where my mom was abused and cheated on 24/7 so i picked up how to tell if people are telling me the truth or not. With that all being said should i do therapy before i confront him about all of this that way it comes out clean and calm.? HELP!!!!

  3. James says:

    I would just leave his dumb ass. Or suggest an open relationship so he can start wondering if you’re messing around on him too. you don’t even have to it will probably make him pay more attention to you… maybe too much, but then you’re just making him insecure. It’s probably easier for you to just leave him and not worry about it. Just tell hi you know tell him she called you and it’s altered your perception of him, and if you want to stay give him the option to come clean or you’re out… if you don’t like the girl it’s not like you should have any problems telling him she told you. Let them duke it out and try to move on. or you’re always going to be looking over his shoulder. That’s just my 2 cents. I’ve been cheated on several times and have insecurity problems and I know moving on is easier said than done. But you need to do something or your insecurity will just ruin your relationship anyway, trust me you need to communicate with him and make him understand that its okay. My ex wife didn’t admit anything until we were done. then she finally came clean about all 4 guys… yeah… 4… Good luck to you. Keep smiling and hold your head up high ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Ashley says:

    My boyfriend of 3 years has the worst insecurities…he is always trolling my facebook and emails, he searches through my phone when he thinks I am sleeping at night, and he created fake dating profiles just to troll website to see if I was on any of them…we fight more than we get along and I find myself hating him and resenting him more and more every day…we have a child together and have talked about marriage but I don’t think he truly loves me enough to be my husband and I’m not sure he ever will be but I really want to work things out but I can’t take much more

  5. Natalie auxier says:

    my question is if your partner has lies numerous times you cant trust him with your life and the lies continue.?? what can you do??? i am so in love for now three years with my husband. yet he is abusive to me and the kids. he doesnt realize this. my one year old is picking up lots. he now hits and even hits me. its sad i just cant trust him he insults me and disrespects me. hard core. i want to really save this marriage because no matter what the love is so strong from both of us. his ex’s ( five women have left him. mean to him and did some terrible things to him took his trust away. and then left. now i feel like a rag doll.

  6. Ashley says:

    I been in rrelationship for about 5 months now when I first met him I knew he was the guy for me I fell in love more than I’ve ever fell in love as anybody else in my past relationships I’ve had pretty bad ones finally I found this one guy that does not lie cheat or anything he is the most amazingest person ever he’s real with me he tells me everything that’s on his mi d.well one day he started getting questionable things and at some point I started telling him lies even if it was over the little things and I’d start acting sketchy after a while he caught on to it and I didn’t want to ruin our relationship because I love him so much now is to the point to he’s given me so many chances that this is the last chance that I have and he wants an explanation for why I lie and all that what can I do or say to explain to him to show him that I careand also what can I say to make him feel better about all the lies that I have said to him

  7. Kiernan says:

    Ashley – stop lying to your boyfriend or whatever he is to you. You need to look within yourself and ask “why do I feel like I need to lie to this guy?” Are you holding stuff back in your life? Do you have pent up needs and desires and don’t feel you can communicate those to your bf? Communication – its really the cornerstone of a good relationship. Help him to communicate and better understand you.

  8. Jarvel says:

    I’m in a casual relationship with the grounds of monogamous, enjoy yourself, no lies or withholding information and if feelings change tell the other with my ex. When I mentioned that I feel like it seems like it’s just for sex and I’ll be left in the dust in future, he always reassures me that it’s not just for sex. His view on this type of relationship was “i’m not saying I just want a fwb/booty call. The way I see it a casual relationship is the middle ground between the two (fwb and serious).” And that there was potential of getting back together but no guarantee. Do you think that this is slowly on track to us getting back together or am I just setting myself up for hurt in the long run? He broke up with me and I also found out later on he started ‘kinda’ dating my ‘friend’ who I always confided about the relationship and knew everything. Prior to breakup it felt as they had an emotional affair. They’re broken up and they both tell me they haven’t talked since, this interaction with my ex is kept down low and secretive as we just want to chill back for awhile after all that has happened. I understand that we’re not ready to jump back into how things were but I like the feeling of commitment and security (?) one has with the label of girlfriend and boyfriend. Do you have any advice to offer me? I asked him if he trusted me he said there isn’t anything not to trust me with and he knows that I’m still building trust with him but I’m taking the chance of slowly trying.

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