When you have amazing sex with a shaking orgasm, you never forget it. No matter who you sleep with next, that memory stays lodged in your mind. Why? Because now you’ve had a taste of really mind-blowing sex. Let’s be honest, that doesn’t happen every day with just anyone.
For you to have had that one amazing experience, everything had to fit perfectly together. Most of the time, it’s by chance. No one is planning it step by step. And although you want to know exactly how to achieve shaking orgasms, there’s not really a plan to follow.
What I’m going to give you are tips that can help increase the chances of a shaking orgasm because you’re not the only person in the bedroom.
[Read: The intense orgasms checklist for amazing sex every time]
How to achieve a shaking orgasm
Much of it relies on your partner as well. You can be doing everything right, but if their mind is in a different place or they’re not feeling that sexual at the moment, it doesn’t matter what you do. So, take that into consideration.
If your partner isn’t orgasming, that’s not just on you. Perhaps they don’t know enough about their body or aren’t in the best of moods. So, when testing out these tips, keep that in mind. Sex is a two-way street.
Shake, shake, shake.
#1 Remember, there are two of you. It’s easy to get bummed out when your partner doesn’t orgasm because you think it’s your fault. But don’t be so hard on yourself. Your partner is going through their own experiences as well.
Maybe they had a hard day at work or a fight with their mother. And these outside situations can distract a person from being in the present and enjoying sex. [Read: 12 real reasons why you aren’t having a mindblowing orgasm]
#2 Build the sexual tension. One mistake many people make is not building up the sexual tension. Instead, since they’re excited, they just want to jump right into things. And I completely understand, but remember, you’re not the only person involved.
Having a quickie is one thing, but for an orgasm, there needs to be a build-up of sexual tension. Whether it’s sexting a couple of hours before seeing each other or flirting heavily in public, these actions will create a build-up, and that’s what you want. [Read: How to build sexual tension to the point where it’s out of control]
#3 Don’t skip the foreplay. This is another thing people tend to skip over without realizing how important it is. You cannot skip foreplay. Again, having a quickie is completely different, but if you want to have or give your partner a shaking orgasm, then you need time.
Foreplay is what warms everyone up. It increases arousal for both parties and gets everything ready for the big act. Foreplay can be oral sex, massage, or manual stimulation. [Read: What is foreplay and the sexiest, steamiest tips for good sex]
#4 Don’t force the moment. I know you want the shaking orgasm to happen, but you can’t force it on your partner. If everything’s going well, and the mood is right, it will happen. But, as I said, if your partner had a bad day or is stressed out, then they may not be able to relax fully. This isn’t the time when you should force the moment. Take a step back and go with the flow. You can’t force the moment to happen.
#5 An orgasm is mental. Remember how I just said you shouldn’t force the moment? Why do you think I said that? It’s because orgasms are purely mental. If you want your partner to orgasm, they need to be in the right mindset.
Building up sexual tension and including foreplay can help get your partner into the zone. They need to be in a mental place where they can let go and enjoy the moment. Aside from foreplay, you can try to create a sensual ambiance with candles, music, and soft lighting. [Read: Sexy bedroom essentials – 16 ways to get your room to scream sex]
#6 You need to feel comfortable. If you want you and your partner to orgasm, then you need to feel comfortable. Of course, they should feel comfortable with you. Can you talk about sex with your partner? If you’re not comfortable, then this could prevent you from really letting go. If you want to have an orgasm with your partner, focus on feeling comfortable in your own skin, and reducing your sexual anxiety. [Read: 25 hilarious myths about sex most of us used to believe]
#7 Listen to your partner. You don’t need to ask your partner 100 questions to see if they’re enjoying what you’re doing. Instead, listen to their body. For example, if they’re moaning, grabbing onto the bed, or saying “yes, yes, yes,” it’s safe to say they like what you’re doing.
If there’s radio silence, then it’s time to switch things up. If you’re doing everything you can, but still unsure, ask your partner what they like. [Read: 13 sizzling hints to know if both of you are sexually compatible in bed]
#8 Focus on oral sex. When it comes to orgasming, whether your partner is a man or woman, both sexes are more likely to orgasm if they’ve had at least 15 minutes of oral sex. Again, if it’s a quickie, you won’t have time for a long oral sex session, and that’s okay. But if you have the time, invest it in oral sex. It’ll pay off.
#9 Use toys. But only if your partner agrees to it. There’s nothing more terrifying than having sex and suddenly having an unspoken toy in your butt. Before breaking out the toys, make sure your partner is into trying it out. If so, experiment with the toys, testing the different speeds and pressure on your partner. One thing to remember: you must communicate. [Read: 13 must-have couples’ sex toys for naughty first timers]
#10 Masturbate in front of each other. This is actually a great way to understand what your partner likes. Plus, it’s sexy. Mutual masturbation is pretty naughty as neither one of you can touch each other, so it builds up sexual tension. But, aside from that, it also gives you the chance to see what your partner enjoys, and vice versa.
#11 Don’t make this your goal. Your goal for the night shouldn’t be to make your partner orgasm. Once you place that goal above your head, you won’t be able to enjoy the experience. Sure, you may want your partner to orgasm, but let it go.
It may or may not happen. Either way, you’re going to enjoy the experience. The less pressure you put on yourself, the higher the chances it’ll happen. [Read: What does an orgasm feel like? The answers-cum-guide]
#12 An orgasm may not happen. There’s no guarantee an orgasm is going to happen. It may take three, four, even ten times before your partner is able to orgasm. But that’s okay. This isn’t something you can force out of your partner. Having an orgasm isn’t that easy. It relies greatly on one’s mental state. So, sit back and relax. Enjoy the experience, and with time, a shaking orgasm will come.
[Read: How to have the best sex ever – 15 ways to do it every single time]
You want to blow your partner’s mind—I get it. But you need the right tools to make it happen. So, try these tips the next time you want to give your partner a shaking orgasm.
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