You have no idea how many people have messaged me asking how to give a girl an orgasm. And I get it; the female body is a giant mystery to most of us, even women.
Most women struggle with achieving an orgasm, so you’re not alone on this. And obviously, all women want to know what having an orgasm feels like. It’s been talked about so much; women are going through FOMO. But, it’s not as easy as it sounds to orgasm. At least, that’s what we made ourselves believe.
[Read: The ultimate guide for achieving mind-blowing shaking orgasm]
How to give a girl an orgasm
Maybe you’ve watched enough porn to figure out how it’s done, but I should tell you something: porn isn’t real.
Gasp! That’s right, I said it. I said it because it’s true. Sadly, most of our sexual education comes from pornography, and that’s scary because porn isn’t real. They are actors paid to have sex on camera. You really think they’re having a genuine orgasm in front of a dozen camera crew while being filmed? [Read: 25 most common porn myths most people still believe]
So, please refrain from using porn as your guide to understanding women. If you really want to know how to give a girl an orgasm and understand how it works, it’s time you asked a real woman. Since you’re here, I’ll let you know what to do. There are a couple of things you need to know.
#1 An orgasm is mental. Men and women aren’t that different. When a man isn’t aroused, it’s almost impossible for him to get an erection. If a woman isn’t aroused, she’s not going to get wet or orgasm. If she’s going to orgasm, she needs to be mentally in it. If she’s not enjoying herself, if she’s stressed or the position isn’t right, she’s not going to orgasm. [Read: How to build sexual tension to the point where it’s out of control]
#2 Get to know the clitoris. If you want to give a girl an orgasm, educate yourself on the female body. And focus on the clitoris. Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. So, when you have sex, pay extra attention to the clit.
#3 It’s time you focused on foreplay. Don’t be so eager to pass through foreplay and head straight to penetration. Easy there! It’s time to slow down and really get into foreplay. If you want her to orgasm, her vagina needs time to “warm-up.” Have a steamy make-out session, caress her body, and kiss her erogenous zones. [Read: 12 underrated kinds of foreplay to bring some serious sizzle to bed]
#4 Each woman is different. Here’s something you really need to know. Your ex may have liked sex a certain way, but that doesn’t mean your current partner enjoys the same things. Everyone likes different things. If she’s not into the technique you’re using for oral sex, switch it up.
#5 Don’t rush. You need to slow down. But really, sloooow down. When you rush, nothing good comes from it. Take your time from the beginning to the end, well, you don’t need to thrust slowly the entire time, but you know what I mean. Yes, you want penetration, but it’s not going to be as fun for her if you’re rushing through everything. [Read: 17 sexy foreplay moves to get any girl all hot and bothered]
#6 Don’t make your end goal an orgasm. Don’t start sex with the idea you’re going to make her have an orgasm. That shouldn’t be your end goal. If you focus too much on it, there’ll be too much pressure on her, and the sex won’t be as good. If the orgasm happens, it happens.
#7 Lube is key. Even if she’s super wet, you should use lube. You don’t want things to get painful or uncomfortable for her. And lube is what makes everything run smoothly. No matter how turned on she is, just use lube. [Read: Full body orgasm: How to achieve the highest level of ecstasy]
#8 Use a little dirty talk. Who doesn’t like a little dirty talk? It’s pretty hot when your partner is telling you dirty things. But test the water first and make sure she enjoys dirty talk because not everyone does. Start with simple compliments and work your way up.
#9 If she wants, bring out the toys. Don’t surprise her with toys. But if you ask and she agrees, bring them out and incorporate them. Many women need sex toys to help them achieve an orgasm. So, don’t take this as an offense. If she has a vibrator, hold it against her clitoris *just make sure you ask her what speed and pressure she enjoys*. [Read: 15 common types of sex toys and singles and couples must know]
#10 Watch and learn. One way to figure out what she likes is by watching what she does to herself. Then, mimic those actions. She’s not going to touch herself in a way she doesn’t like. Look at her movements, and you’ll get an idea of how she likes things in bed. [Read: 18 sex tips for men that’ll make any girl crave for more]
#11 Female-friendly positions. Some positions are just better than others when it comes to having an orgasm. So, focus on positions like woman-on-top, doggy style *great for rubbing the clitoris with your hand*, or having your partner sit on you. [Read: 10 different sex positions to add a bang in bed]
#12 Ask her what she wants. If you can have sex with someone, you should feel comfortable enough to talk to them about sex and their needs. If you’re not sure what turns her on, just ask her. Why waste your time guessing while she lays there wondering what you’re doing?
[Read: 12 real reasons why you aren’t having a mind-blowing orgasm]
If you really want to know how to give a girl an orgasm, remember it starts in the mind, not in the vagina. So, she’ll need to get there on her own.
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