Well, the answer is a resounding yes, and there are actually surefire ways to find a one night stand, get them into bed, and have lots of fun without that “what did I do?” feeling come dawn!
How to find an awesome one night stand
If you want to meet, attract, and seduce a potential one night stand, there are actually plenty of ways to go about it. Here are 13 tips to guarantee securing a one night stand without feeling sleazy, or waking up in a full-on relationship!
#1 Find out where they‘ll be. Some venues simply don’t work if you are looking for a casual hookup. Do some research into local bars and clubs in your area where it is more likely people will be out, looking for a good time.
Quiet pubs, low key nights, or anywhere too fancy should be off your list. Look for places where you know there’ll be a young, fun crowd—where drinks are flowing and music is blaring. [Not quite ready for the full monty? Read: How to hook up with a girl and make out with her]
Places with a great dance floor and DJ are your best bet, but also check out whether there is space set aside to sit and chat, too. This combination works well, as you’ll want a place where you can get to know him/her better.
Also think about distance from your apartment/hotel—the nearer the better. At the end of the evening, if you have to get a long cab ride back, it might be off-putting. Plus, they will think about having to get home again in the morning, and how difficult it might be.
#2 Know what to look for. People who are up for a good time and open to meeting, chatting, and hooking up with others behave differently in clubs.
They’ll be the ones dressed to impress, laughing at the bar, and looking around, making eye contact with others. People who are huddled in groups and keeping to themselves are unlikely to be the best ones to approach. [Check out: Top 10 most common one night stand mistakes]
#3 Go out with friends *but not too many*. For your best chances of meeting a potential one night stand, go out with a friend or two with a similar goal in mind. A huge group will be intimidating and distracting, but two or three single people work well.
It also means if you spot someone you want to go home with, you have friends who can chat to their friends, so they aren’t left feeling like a gooseberry, and potentially sabotaging your chances by insisting their friend talks/dances/leaves with them.
#4 Get flirty, straight away. If you want a hookup, make it obvious. There is no point in getting too comfortable/polite in a conversation, unless you are looking for a new friend or potential date. Be confident, but not crude. Touch, but don’t grope. You’ll soon know if they are interested. If they don’t reciprocate or back off, it may be time to look elsewhere.
Let’s face it: if they aren’t that comfortable getting a little physical when out and about, what is the likelihood they will be up for casual sex later? You don’t want to waste your time if that’s all you’re after, so unless you are up for a real challenge, simply move on! [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]
#5 Turn the conversation to sex. We all love talking about sex, right? Especially after a couple of drinks! So after you’ve had an initial flirty conversation, try to steer things this direction.
Remember: it’s important not to be creepy or come on too strong, while at the same time making it pretty obvious what you’re after. Compliment them, but don’t be sleazy or too romantic. For example, tell them you think they are sexy and hot—don’t tell them they are beautiful, gorgeous, or that they have nice eyes.
Get close when you’re talking, and whisper in their ear to make it more intimate. Breathing in the other person’s ear is seriously sexy and makes them think about doing it, too!
You need to be able to comfortably talk about sex without bragging or listing previous conquests. Don’t, whatever you do, come across as awkward or desperate. They’ll think that’s what you like in bed and this, understandably, is a major turn off! You don’t have to be too serious, either. Teasing is a great way to flirt, and lots of things about sex are funny, so use humor to laugh your one night stand all the way to the bedroom. [Not sure how to get started? Try: 30 dirty would you rather questions to ask your lover]
#6 Understand what is in and out of your control. Whatever you do, keep a cool head, and know you can’t control everything—even if you have mastered all the best hookup techniques.
Their friend might get sick, or something might happen to change the mood. What you can control is the way you approach someone and talk to them, where you plan to go if you do score, and whether you have adequate protection.
Do these things sensibly and well, and if random events mean you lose your one night stand, then just let it go!
#7 Don‘t stay until the end of the night. There is no greater mood killer than the lights coming up and the music coming to an abrupt stop at the end of the night. Don’t wait for this to happen. It is always best to get out while the getting is good.
Come closing time, friends who have been helpfully leaving you alone all evening will make a reappearance, or your potential one night stand might wander off to get their coat and never return. Also, staying out so late means they’ll be more tired and have had more to drink, which makes the idea of coming home with you instead of to their own safe bed a lot less appealing. [Read: 16 signs to know if it’ll be a one night stand date]
#8 Invest now, return later. If you meet a potential hookup at the start of the night, but have to move on, they need to head somewhere, or they simply go and find their friends, get their number so you can contact them later.
If they seem like they are up for catching up with you again, this could be a great sign. Later on in the evening, assuming you haven’t scored with someone else, dig out your phone and drop them a text to see if they are still about. If they respond and try to find you, you are almost certainly onto a winner.
#9 Subtly give them details. There are plenty of opportunities in a conversation to drop little hints or give information that increases your likelihood of getting a “yes” at the end of the night.
Letting them know where you live *close by is always good*, or what your apartment is like *assuming it’s nice!* are throwaway comments that will stick in the mind of your potential one night stand, and will unconsciously steer them toward thinking that going home with you is the best idea ever.
#10 Act like you already know they want you. This is another confidence thing. If you act like you know they want you, and can maybe *but not definitely* have you, this is going to attract them, make them work harder for your attention… and make them putty in your hands later! [Try: How to increase your sex appeal effortlessly]
#11 Be direct and go in for the kill. If you want to bang someone’s brains out, sometimes just telling them so can be the best option.
You’d actually be surprised by how well and often this works. If you are getting all the right signs, then saying, “I want to take you home and rip your clothes off” can make the other person feel awesome, and totally hot. If it is looking good, just go for it!
#12 Be honest. This is important if you don’t want to end up with a potential nightmare on your hands the next morning. If you are really just looking for a casual night of fun, make sure the other person knows that BEFORE you get them into bed.
If you have spent the whole night getting along famously, flirting, kissing, and touching, and then you go home together, it is possible your one night stand might think there is more to it. If you are honest from the outset, it will save you a hassle in the long run. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to actually keep your relationship casual]
#13 Have an exit strategy. Make sure you have given some thought to your “morning after the night before” plan. A truly successful one night stand will mean both of you can walk away the next day with big smiles on your faces, knowing you had a great night, with no strings attached.
In the morning, be the same fun person you were the night before. Offer coffee, but not breakfast and then have a reason to leave, or to make them leave *i.e. somewhere you need to be*. Don’t swap numbers if you don’t want to see them again—it’s just not worth it.
[Caught with your pants down? Next, read: 8 awesome exist strategies to ditch an awful date]
With these 13 tips to find a one night stand, you are sure to find plenty of great hookups. Remember: it‘s all about being smart, staying safe, and having fun!
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