Wondering about the definition of a booty call? Looking for a sexual encounter or casual sex with a friend? Whatever it is, here’s what you need to know!
The allure of a booty call is what sexual fantasies are made of. Can you imagine calling a sexy friend over and just having wild, passionate sex with no strings attached? If you’re wondering ‘what is a booty call,’ that’s basically it!
If you already have an attractive friend whose pants you want to get into, it’s definitely be a fantasy worth bringing to life.
Nobody really talks about booty calls, but the truth is they happen all the time. Friends flirt without realizing it, and at times, all it takes is a tiny butterfly effect to change the flirty banter into something a lot more sexual. [Read: Casual relationship – What it is, how it works and 20 firm rules you MUST follow]
What is a booty call?
If you’re wondering ‘what is a booty call,’ you’ve come to the right place. It’s important to define this, even if you think you know. The truth is, if something isn’t defined, it’s very easy to become attached and then get hurt.
Most people get to enjoy the pleasures of lusty lovemaking when they get into a relationship. But what about the others, the horny and lonely beings that still want sexual pleasure without the baggage of romance and relationships?
Well, that’s where the booty call enters the picture.
A booty call is loosely defined as, “a person whom you call to have sex with occasionally.” It’s a perfect arrangement between two mature adults who are sexually attracted to each other, but don’t want to share a romantic relationship with each other. [Read: The easiest ways to accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it]
Why do we need a definition at all?
It’s not easy to wade through the billions of single people trying to find the perfect match. Of course, that includes someone who is open, honest, and has the same ideas about what a relationship should be like.
In order for people to do that, they need to know exactly what it is they are facing. The problem is that today, there are more than a few definitions of relationships, and it’s hard to gauge which one you are currently in.
You might be pretty firm on what your idea of a relationship is. Yet, you could meet someone and really fall for them, only to find out that they have a totally different idea to you.
For that reason, it’s important to know from the start that you and the person you’re booty calling are not in a firm relationship. You’re just having fun. [Read: The 23 types of relationships to define your love life]
The best friends to choose for a booty call
A booty call is easy to fantasize about, but it’s not at all easy to pull off. It works best with people who can separate sex from love and intimacy. So before you go picking your next booty call buddy, make sure you pick the right friend.
Here are a few good friends and acquaintances to use for a booty call.
1. The just-want-sex friend
This is the friend who is single, but isn’t interested in dating someone because they’ve got other commitments that need their attention. [Read: How does being best friends with benefits really work out?]
2. The rebound friend
Has a friend recently broken up? Are they now looking for someone to get into a rebound relationship with? This friend would be perfect.
However, don’t ever try to seduce someone who doesn’t want to be seduced or is looking for something serious.
3. The sexual chemistry friend
Both of you share a lot of sexual chemistry and catch each other stealing glances all the time, but don’t want to date each other.
4. The ex-lover friend
Do you have an ex-lover from several years ago, with whom the love just sort of faded away into nothing? If both of you are single and want sexual intimacy without the risk of heartbreak, perhaps falling into each other’s bed is the perfect option.
But remember, this is delicate and tricky ground. Don’t fall back in love with an ex! [Read: The sexy and scary rush of having sex with an ex]
How to move toward a booty call
If the idea of sleeping with a sexy someone with no strings attached excites you, well, all you need to do is find the right person. Then, subtly seduce them into desiring you sexually.
If you meet someone on a one night stand, it just makes things a lot easier if they want to keep in touch. But if you’re looking to get a friend interested in a booty call, you need to plan your way into their loins.
Firstly, you need to remember this. For many, a booty call is an insult, at least in the realm of society’s conscience. It is taboo, and no one you ask will ever jump with excitement like you just went down on one knee and proposed marriage.
Pick the person you’re sexually attracted to, and work your way into their pants, one step at a time. You need to warm them up, build the sexual tension, and finally make the infamous booty call. [Read: How to have sex with a friend by seducing them through texts]
1. Get them interested
Cozy up with this friend of yours when you meet them or speak to them over the phone. It’s okay if they assume you’re trying to woo them, at least for the first couple of calls. After all, sending out subtle hints that you’re interested in them is the best way to pave the way for sexual encounters.
2. Make it clear that you’re not interested in romance
Once this friend has started getting closer to you and may even have a tiny crush on you, let your friend know that you’re not interested in dating anyone at the moment. Make it clear that you’re not going to fall in love with anyone anytime soon.
3. Talk about your sexless love life
Once you get closer and increasingly flirty with each other, nag about how annoyed you are because you haven’t hooked up with anyone in such a long time. [Read: Tips to pick the right guy for a sexy hook up]
4. Confess your booty wish
Over a call late at night or while texting them, tell your friend how you’re looking for someone for a no-strings attached arrangement.
Go as far as asking your friend to hook you up with one of their friends. Laugh it off, but let the message stay in their mind that you want someone to have sex with. [Read: Signs to recognize the right naughty girl and hook up with her]
5. Talk about your last booty call
Confess about your last booty call and tell this friend how sexy it was. Make up a story if you have had no booty call experiences, and make sure the story has a happy ending.
6. Get them thinking
Find excuses to get your friend to think of you naked. Tell them you just walked out of the shower, or that you were just shaving your legs. As long as you get your friend to imagine you naked, it’ll be pretty hard for them to get your naked body out of their mind.
7. Play dirty games
This is the best way to build up the sexual tension that could lead to a sexy booty call. Ask each other dirty questions over text – you’ll be on the verge of becoming sex buddies in no time. [Read: 20 sexy text message examples to start a sexy conversation]
These steps are best used over the phone or while texting because it’s easier to pretend like you’re joking if your friend takes offense. Speaking dirty in person could be awkward and risky unless your friend is just as sexually interested as you are.
Once you’ve warmed your date up over the phone, the air will be crackling with sexual chemistry each time you meet. Use these tips to get those hormones raging all the more harder in person.
8. Touch a lot
When both of you are together, find every excuse to graze their body often. It could be while pointing at something, while crossing the street or while kissing each other goodbye. [Read: The sexiest ways to get a girl horny and wet just by sitting next to her]
9. Turn up the sexual flirting
Flirt in a very obvious manner and let your friend know you’re sexually interested in them. You don’t need to say anything about a booty call just yet. Just make your friend desire you sexually just as much as you desire them. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and very sexy flirting tips and moves]
10. Go for it and make the booty call!
There are two ways to make a booty call for the first time. You can use either way as soon as you’re confident that there’s enough sexual tension in the air.
a. The booty phone call
The first booty call takes a while to warm up to the idea. One evening when you know your friend is idle, call them up and flirt with them a while.
At some point in the conversation, ask your friend what they think about a booty call. If you’ve made all the right moves, the call should lead straight to bed. [Read: How to dirty talk and turn your lover on like no one else can]
b. The booty date
This method is safer, because you can go with the signs and back off or push ahead based on the circumstances. Invite your friend over to your place to watch a movie together. And while watching the movie, make sure some parts of your body touch each other.
Somewhere along the way, cozy up closer and ask your friend what they think about a booty call. If the chemistry sizzles, you’ll be on top of each other within the next few seconds! [Read: The subtle art of flirting by touch]
Key things to remember about booty call arrangements
Sex is great, right? But, the biggest problem is that a lot of the time, feelings have a nasty feeling of sneaking their way, even if you don’t want them to. For that reason, only go into a booty call arrangement if you’re sure a relationship isn’t what you want.
There are a few other things you need to know about booty call arrangements too. [Read: 20 open relationship rules you must know to give non-monogamy a try]
1. Set the ground rules after the first booty call
Don’t set ground rules before hooking up at least once unless both of you have shown interest in the booty call idea for a long time. Once you’ve had sex at least twice, it becomes easier to set the ground rules because both of you like the sex.
If it’s a one-off incident and your friend doesn’t want to do it again, perhaps they’re not in it for the sex.
Add any rules that you think both of you may need to ensure that this sexual relationship stays that way without any complications. [Read: How to have phone sex like a sexy sassy minx]
2. If you catch feelings, walk away
If you find yourself starting to develop feelings, you have to stop with the booty calls. Similarly, if you think your booty partner is catching all the feels, talk about it.
There is no place in this arrangement for any type of romantic interest. Unless, of course, you both feel a certain way and want to explore it further.
3. Neither of you has a right to be jealous
Don’t get jealous if your friend is booty calling someone else. If your friend starts to date someone else, walk away for good.
On the flip side, they shouldn’t start to feel jealous of what you’re doing either. Be respectful toward each other, and that’s it. [Read: How to not be jealous – An easy guide for the overly envious]
Call each other if there’s a good reason to call, but avoid calling each other to pass the time. If you’re having sex, both of you already share something very personal. Don’t bring intimacy into the picture, or one of you will fall in love.
5. Don’t give gifts or lend ears
Stop behaving like both of you need to support each other or please each other every now and then. By doing that, you’d end up needing each other for support very soon.
This is just sex, remember? [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look way hotter and sexier]
6. A booty call is a secret
A booty call can be a reputation ruiner, so don’t go bragging about it to the world. If you want the fun and the games to continue for a long time, try to keep it a secret from everyone in the world, including your closest friends.
Respect each other, and give each other the space to be with other people. This is a no-questions-asked relationship, and both of you have no right to talk about the other person with anyone else. [Read: Keeping secrets in a relationship – 42 must-know rules and exceptions]
7. There is no need to stay the night or cuddle afterward
Booty calls are meant to be for relief from horniness when you need it, not to stay with you to cuddle or to spoon afterward. In fact, you cannot ask them to spend the night. If you begin to want them to spend the night with you, then this could be a problem, especially if your booty call refuses.
There might be several reasons why your booty call is spending the night. First of all, convenience. It might be difficult for them to run back to their place, but it does not mean they’re staying to spend time with you.
Second of all, they might be too drunk or too tired to even move or put on clothes. Again, no indication that they are in love with you, so do not mistake this for true love. [Read: 41 friends with benefits rules to remember]
8. If they stay for breakfast, it doesn’t mean they’re catching feelings
You think, this is it! Your booty call is extending their welcome for breakfast, and this might also mean that they want more than just sex.
No, you’re mistaken. Could it be possible that your booty call got hungry from that all-nighter that you both pulled off? Or your booty call does not have enough time to have breakfast and go to work, so having breakfast done now is very practical for them. [Read: 12 signs you’re just being manipulated by your booty call]
9. Lunch or dinner dates are out of the question
You receive a message from your booty call wanting to have dinner before you head to their place. Or perhaps after having the aforementioned breakfast, you continue your bedroom activities and your booty call decides to stay until lunch.
They may just be really hungry, or they simply don’t want to let go of you just yet, in case they get horny again.
Can you see how confusing it can be to extend past the booty call’s sole aim? Avoid it if you want to keep things clear. [Read: Everything you need to know about an open relationship]
10. Don’t look for signs they feel more than just horniness
Your booty call has never asked about your wellbeing, but now, you just got a message asking about how you are doing. Oh! This must be the sign that you are looking for!
No, your booty call is not in love with you. Nor should you reciprocate this back. If your booty call is really concerned about your wellbeing, they would ask this consistently and not just when they want to. They will not only be available at night for you but will be there whenever you need them – day or night.
To save your sanity, don’t look for signs. Just enjoy the sex and forget about everything else. [Read: 5 clear giveaways of an emotionally unavailable man]
11. Neither of you should enquire about other sex partners
First of all, never ask that question. Why? Unless you don’t use condoms when you have sex, it’s really not your business to ask who else your booty call is sleeping with.
It’s highly likely that if you ask your booty call if they are sleeping with someone else, they’ll say only you. You now think you’re in an exclusive relationship. Well, didn’t that just escalate quickly? [Read: 6 tips on raising the issue of being exclusive]
12. Always use protection
As a quick add-on from the last point – always use protection. It’s very easy to get caught up in the passion of a booty call but do you really want something to remember the evening by?
Safe sex all the way here – every single time. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]
Avoiding heartache when you fall for your booty call partner
Even though some people consider a booty call as a placeholder or a trial run for a relationship, it does not mean that it will grow into that. Some people succeed at putting a ring on their booty call, but there’s no evidence to suggest it will happen to everybody.
We’ve already mentioned that you should walk away if you start to feel something, but this is such a key thing that we have to reiterate it.
For many people, when sex becomes a regular deal, feelings start to enter the situation. That’s not a good thing if only one of you is harboring feelings for the other. [Read: 8 subtle signs your fling is turning into a relationship]
The arrangement is not benefitting you if you’re crushing hard and even falling for your booty call partner. This is especially the case if they don’t see it as anything more than sex, even if it’s great sex. In the end, how can you be sure that you won’t end up crushed?
What happens if they meet someone and fall in love with them? Then, your booty calls will stop, and you’ll have to watch them start a real relationship with another person.
For that reason, if you start to have any feelings for someone you’re having regular booty calls with, you have to speak up. This will help you to find out if they feel the same. The other option is to cut them out of your life. For your own sake. [Read: Guys and casual relationship – Why they like it and what do they want from it]
Think carefully about whether booty calls are for you
Let’s face it, booty calls aren’t for everyone. It’s extremely hard to separate love from sex, especially when they both feel the same at the start of a relationship. Sometimes, lust can overpower you and cloud your judgment, eventually leading to heartache.
So if you want to take a plunge into booty call land, go for it. It’s an experience worth having if you’re looking for casual sex. But if you think you’ll fall in love or suffer from jealousy, walk away because a booty call isn’t for you!
[Read: How to read the signs your casual fling is starting to get serious]
Make up your mind on whether you’re mentally prepared for a sexy booty call. If you are, use these tips on how to make a booty call. If you aren’t ready for a booty call, smile, because you’re avoiding the potential for heartbreak.