A lot of people want to know how they can maintain a causal relationship with someone. Our best advice is to learn the signs your hookup has feelings for you. If you can head it off early, it is easier for both.
But, it’s not easy.
Sure, movies make it seem like you can keep it casual and have mind-blowing sex, but it doesn’t usually work out like that. In reality, someone ends up developing feelings.
Many people have been in a casual relationship where they ended up falling hard for the person. Of course, sometimes they make the mistake of sticking in the relationship and hurting themselves in the end.
Now, you may be happy with the arrangement. But you may see that your casual partner has started to catch feelings for you. Of course, you’re not sure, and that’s where these signs your hookup has feelings for you can help.
On the contrary, if you’re the one catching feelings for your hookup, read this first – How to make your hookup miss you – 26 pros, cons and ways to hook them
On the one hand, you’re noticing that this person likes you, and wants to be with you. You also realize that you don’t want to be with them, but you like the casual arrangement you have.
It’s hard, but you’re going to need to be the bigger person. But before you jump a couple of steps ahead, figure out if your hookup has feelings for you. From there, decide on what you’re going to do.
A fling isn’t always just a fling. [Read: Casual relationship – What it is, why people like it and 20 firm rules]
When it’s casual, you would only text your partner to plan a hookup. But you are texting a lot. If you can’t stop texting them, maybe you should take a closer look at how you feel.
But if they’re texting you non-stop, it’s a clear sign that they’re developing feelings for you. [Read: How to know if you can handle casual dating]
When someone wants to stay in consistent communication with you, it’s because you are on their minds. They are thinking about you, and they want to connect with you a lot emtionally. This doesn’t happen if you are just having sex with someone.
Texting is one thing, but they take it a step further by calling you. Nowadays, people won’t answer their phones, let alone call people. But for them, they have no problem giving you a call. That’s because they feel very comfortable around you.
Hearing someone’s voice is much more personal than texting. You can hear all their nonverbals in what they are saying, and you can spend more time chatting with them than you would in texts. So, this is a big sign your hookup has feelings for you.
When you sleep with someone in the same bed, it is a very intimate thing – especially if you are spooning or cuddling during the night. So someone who just wants sex with you would never put themselves in such an awkward situation because it might give you the wrong idea.
If you have a casual hookup, sleeping over should be one thing you never do. Once you two have sleepovers, the odds of someone catching feelings increase. If they sleep over after every night, they like you. [Read: The no strings attached relationship rules you should never ignore]
There are some situations where you accidentally meet their friends, and in those cases, it’s okay. But if they’ve purposely introduced you to their friends, there’s a reason why. Maybe they think that by integrating you into their lives more, you will develop feelings for them, just as they have for you.
No one gets their friends involved in a hookup. They only do this if they like you and want their friends’ opinions or to give you the sign that you are important to them.
This is definitely one of the signs your hookup has feelings for you. Before, they were very calm and cool around you.
But now, you notice that their behavior has changed. They become nervous and anxious around you. And there’s a simple reason why they’re acting like this: they like you.
One of the reasons they might be nervous around you is because they want to bring up a conversation about how you feel. This would be awkward and nerve-wracking for anyone, right? What if you don’t feel the way they do? If they didn’t have any feelings for you, there would be no reason to act nervous around you all of a sudden. [Read: 20 signs your friend with benefits has already fallen for you and is in love]
Hookup buddies never go on dates. Come on, you know this. Casual sex is left at just that – sex. You are at one of your places and might not even come out of the bedroom too much. There is no real connection other than the physical.
So, if you are going on dinner dates and “couple” activities, well, someone is catching feelings. The only people who go on dates are those who are dating. [Read: Dating material vs a hookup – 12 signs to split them apart]
Though you may not be paying attention to the little things they do for you, you should be. If you find that they are noticing things that you would like to have or things they would like to do for you, then that is a big sign your hookup has feelings for you.
Whether it’s bringing you takeout or driving you somewhere, those little details show they care for you and want to make you happy. And why would they care so much about making you happy if all you are to them is a casual hookup?
You may have mentioned someone else of interest, and instead of acting happy, they became jealous. Hello! Why would they become jealous if it was only a hookup? You know the answer.
No one is jealous without reason, they like you.
If you have the understanding that you are just having sex with each other, then you should be allowed to go on dates with other people, right? It should be no big deal, and neither of you should care. But if they do show signs of jealousy… they care a bit too much. [Read: How to recognize the signs of jealousy in someone and guide them out]
When someone doesn’t care about you, they don’t invest their attention in what you say to them. They only pay attention to things that benefit themselves.
But if someone has feelings for you, they’ll remember the small details. That’s because they’re listening to you, and it’s one of the really strong signs your hookup has feelings for you.
So, if they bring up how you and your grandma made cookies together every Saturday or ask you more details about your first crush, someone has been paying attention.
It could even be that they bring you your favorite ice cream because you mentioned it once. That means they are very caught up in everything about you.
No hookup couples are going to show PDA. Why would you? First of all, you don’t go out in public, and second, you aren’t a couple. Right?
Showing affection in public is like telling the world that you care about someone – or that you’re a couple. But if you’re not a couple why would your hookup want to act like one?
If they’re packing on the PDA with you, they like you… a lot. They don’t mind showing people they’re into you. And they want you to notice that they feel comfortable showing you off in the real world and want to do it more often. [Read: How to read the signs your casual relationship is getting serious]
Maybe you’re not feeling like having sex, but that doesn’t stop them from spending time with you. They can hang out with you and not have sex with you. That’s because they enjoy spending time with you. And this means they like you.
Think about it – if someone only wanted you for your body, then why would you spend time with you doing anything but having sex. They wouldn’t care about going to the movies or hanging out and eating dinner with you. That would be a waste of their time – that is unless your hookup has feelings for you.
With hookups, you always run the risk of the other person only contacting you when it’s convenient for them.
You may write to them, but they won’t reply until they want to. But if your hookup always replies to your messages instantly and continues the conversation, they care about you. And… they like you. [Read: How to decode the texting behavior of guys when they’re into you]
People make time for things that are important to them. So, when they reply right away, it is clearly their attempt to tell you that you are a priority in their life, regardless of whether or not they are feeling horny at any given moment.
A hookup relationship doesn’t consist of late-night talks. You are supposed to hook up and then part ways until you hook up again. If they’re telling you personal information, then they obviously trust you.
And sharing personal information with someone is an intimate thing.
It’s something that people in romantic relationships do when they are falling in love. It makes a person vulnerable. And why would your hookup want to feel vulnerable with you if they didn’t have feelings for you?
They may not have the courage to tell you directly that they like you, but they will subtly drop hints about how they feel. Maybe they avoid talking about other people or will drop subtle hints. Either way, they dig you.
They could make jokes about you being a couple, or that all their friends think you’re dating. It might sound like they are teasing you and taking it casually, but it is probably an attempt to test the waters with you and see how you would react. [Read: 30 sneaky ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]
This is possibly one of the biggest signs your hookup has feelings for you, and clearly shows their interest in you. If they sit you down and talk about the relationship, well, that’s a sign that they want to know if it can progress into something more.
They might be very direct and say that they have developed feelings for you. Or, they might just be vaguer and ask you about when you might be ready for a serious relationship with “someone.”
They might not personalize it out of fear that you will reject them. But, talking about the relationship is a sign that they have feelings for you. [Read: How to date casually without getting hurt – 25 very important hurt-free rules]
There’s something deep inside of you that knows something has changed. You can’t necessarily explain it, but it’s an energy shift. If there’s something you feel that’s changed, then you’re probably right. This is your instinct telling you what’s up.
Intuition is usually very accurate. We are trained to ignore it in favor of our logical mind and critical thinking. But usually, it is right. So, don’t dismiss those gut feelings that are nagging on you and telling you that your hookup is going in a more serious direction. [Read: How to follow your gut instinct – The tried and true methods to follow]
Now that you know the signs that your hookup has feelings for you, what should you do now? Well, it really depends on if you have feelings for them or not.
If you do, then great! You could bring up a conversation that you think perhaps they are feeling the same way as you. And if they do, then you can discuss where to go from here.
Should you make it an official relationship? Or just ease into it? Either way, it could be great since you both are on the same page.
However, if you don’t have feelings for your hookup, then it is probably time to end it. If you don’t cut it off, they will become increasingly more attached to you. And that can be very painful for them.
So, you can either have a conversation with them about it, or you can simply say that you don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be hooking up anymore. You could give a reason, or you could just say that you think the casual fling has run its course and you think you want to go a different direction.
[Read: How to end a casual relationship – 18 ways to do ith without drama]
After looking at the signs your hookup has feelings for you, what do you think? You need to make a decision: break it off or talk to them about it.
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