In the day and age of texting, turning on your significant other is as easy as a push of a button. Or is it? Find out how to sext the right way.
It’s no secret that foreplay is by far the most important aspect when it comes to sex. Without it, one party usually goes home unsatisfied. It’s seriously the first step toward having sex of any kind. So why not go with the best method of foreplay out there: sexting. It’s easy, and once you know how to sext the right way, it’s almost impossible to go wrong!
I’m sure you’ve all heard of sexting already, but just in case you haven’t, sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via a text message. So in short, you are sex texting.
Now, the extent to which you sext is completely up to you. You can send only messages, throw in some implied nudes, or go all in and send your crush the raunchiest nudies you could possibly take. It’s really up to you.
How to sext – The benefits of sexting and the steps
People may look at you strange if you sext, due to the inappropriate nature of the act or even because they wouldn’t do it themselves because of the possibility of their nudes getting out on the internet. But as long as you are only sharing these messages with a partner you trust, there can be undeniable benefits to sexting.
Foreplay is the most obvious one, but it’s also really beneficial in strengthening the bond with your partner, making long-distance relationships better, and also increases your confidence. No matter your reason for sexting, follow these rules to make sure you’re doing it correctly and making the most out of your hot, steamy sext session. [Read: Should you sext? Studies show shy you need to start TODAY!]
#1 Start slowly. When you’re first starting out, sexting might be a little uncomfortable, especially with a new person. So make sure you’re taking it easy and starting slowly.
My suggestion would be to have some flirty conversation and gauge their reaction. If they’re shooting you wink faces, it’s safe to say they might be down for some conversation that’s a little more risqué.
#2 Build it up. You don’t just arrive at your partner’s house and go straight to sex, right? No. You greet each other, make out a little, undress, do some foreplay, etc. Sexting is much the same way. You have to build up to the juicy stuff.
Start by greeting them like normal, ask them how their day is going. When they ask you how yours is, mention something like, “It’s not bad… but it would be better if you were here ;)” Make sure you throw in a wink so they know the direction you’d like to take the conversation. [Read: 40 naughty, playful texts to keep things hot and horny]
#3 Make sure it’s at a good time. Trying to sext when your significant other is in the middle of closing a deal on a car at work or is busy doing something else and doesn’t have the time to sit and reply to each message they receive isn’t the best way to go.
Pick a time when you know they’ll be able to read your messages and reply right away. In order to make sexting work the right way, there has to be some back and forth conversation. One-sided sexting just isn’t fun for anyone.
#4 Mention another time you had sex. This is actually more important than most people think. By talking about a sexual encounter the two of you have had before, you’re putting their mind in the exact place you want it to be. And if you’ve ever tried taking sexy pictures of each other in person, you could allude to these shots as well.
#5 Avoid abbreviations. Nothing will kill the mood faster than someone who has absolutely no idea what you mean by cutting a certain word down. It will make your sext too hard to understand and they’ll have to ask what you mean. *hello, boner killer!*
And on that note, make sure you’re spelling stuff correctly, too. I mean, autocorrect is there for a reason, isn’t it?
#6 Keep things realistic. Don’t start describing this ridiculous fantasy that is just way too much for your partner to imagine. The best part of sexting is that they can picture the two of you engaging in the acts you’re describing. So make sure they’re realistic enough for them to believe.
#7 Keep the “we’re not supposed to be doing this” vibe in the air. This works best if the two of you are supposed to be otherwise occupied with work, meetings, at the doctor’s office, etc. This will make things that much more erotic if you both know you should be doing something else.
#8 Limit your use of emojis. A skillfully placed emoji here and there can actually add amazing things to your sexting. However, if you use too many of them, they can be distracting and cause your partner to not take the conversation very seriously.
#9 Stay away from the corny lines. Unless you know your partner is going to find a certain line ridiculously sexy and turn them on immediately, don’t be cheesy.
#11 Build up to the good pictures. If you’re going to be sending pictures, have a gallery ready and don’t send that full nude right away. It just ruins the whole suspense of the sexting. You have to set the stage, so to speak.
Send pictures like you’re slowly undressing yourself for them in still frames, just like they would see you gradually get naked if you were undressing in person. A cleavage shot here, a topless shot there, then progress from there.
#12 Keep the images tasteful. There is a difference between a tasteful naked picture and a trashy one. To keep things classy, always leave an element of surprise. This means withholding them from seeing the “money shot.” This will make them eager to get home to you in order to see what you wouldn’t show them. That’s how you sext the right way.
#13 Be confident about your choices. If you send a message or picture, wait for their reply. Even if it’s taking them a while and you’re rethinking your choice, stick with it! Be confident in what you send and they will be able to tell. Confidence = awesome sexting.
#15 NEVER drunk sext. You will make a fool of yourself and it will not be pretty. Not only will you most likely spell almost everything wrong, but you’re also not likely to get your message across clearly, which could lead to misunderstandings and letdowns.
#16 For the love of all things holy, DO NOT be a tease. While it’s fun to tease someone here and there throughout the day *I mean, that IS what sexting is * make sure you follow through with what you say.
It will put a lot of people down when you talk the talk but then don’t walk the walk. But of course, that’s not to say you can’t tease him by making him wait a little longer for his reward.
You may think you’re the master of sexting, but unless you’re following all these guidelines, you are well beneath that. Now get off the computer and hop on your phone and start putting these tips on how to sext the right way to the test!
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...