You don’t need to feel guilty if you’re getting bored with your relationship. You just need to understand why you’re bored and do something about it! By Jessica Dawson
Relationships are tricky places to be in.
Sometimes, it makes you feel like the happiest person in the world.
And at other times, it spirals you back onto the ground and makes you wonder if you even want to be in one.
Do you feel like you’re getting bored with your relationship?
You’re not the only person with those thoughts on your mind, so you really don’t have to feel guilty about it, even if your lover is head over heels in love with you.
Sometimes, these things just happen.
But should it come as a surprise to you if you get bored in love?
Almost always, boredom sets into a relationship because you didn’t do anything to prevent it.
Are you bored with your relationship?
You may be in love for a long time. For few, it may take months, and for many others, it may take a few years.
But at some inevitable point in your love life, you may wonder if you’re really actually happy being in the relationship. [Read: Signs to find out of you're not in love anymore]
So why does that happen? You didn’t plan on falling out of love, but it just happened. You wake up one morning and you’re just not interested in staying in love anymore. You could push the thought aside and continue on in your relationship, or you could jump into an affair with someone sexy and fun. You could do any of those, and more.
But before you actually go blaming love and its mysterious ways that led to the downfall of your present relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
Why are you really bored? What do you want to do about it? And most importantly, what are the reasons behind why you got bored of your relationship?
Once you understand why you’re getting bored with your relationship, you can prevent it from ever happening again. And unless you truly understand the reasons behind the boredom, you’ll never really be able to enjoy a happy relationship without a bit of drama and boredom now and then. [Read: 7 secret signs of a relationship that's starting to go bad]
15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship
The reasons for your boredom could be one of these, or all of them. If you can learn to eliminate these flaws or distractions from your life, you’d surely be able to overcome the boredom and enjoy a perfect relationship.
Use these 15 reasons to find out why you’re bored in love, and when you pinpoint the source, it’s time to decide your next move.
#1 The daily routine. Your relationship is a boring routine. It’s completely predictable, and you know exactly what you’re going to do with each other every day of the week. When love starts to get monotonous, some of us can’t help but feel stifled like we’re stuck in a locked room.
#2 The frenzied excitement. Do you remember the last time both of you did something exciting together? When we’re in a relationship for a long time, we start to take surprises and excitement for granted. If you’re getting bored because the relationship doesn’t excite you anymore, do something about it. Plan a vacation, go out for dinner once a week on a random day, just do something!
#3 The fragile foundation. When two lovers fall in love, we always suggest that you take your time. Falling in love too quickly can build a romance on shaky grounds, especially if the reason both of you are together is because of one or two aspects, like great sex or a rebound relationship. Always take your time while dating someone before you fall in love or move in together. [Read: 10 reasons why saying 'I love you' too soon can ruin your relationship]
#4 Better opportunities. Everywhere you look around, you see better dating potentials. You like your partner a lot, but somewhere deep inside, you feel like you’ve got the short end of the stick and deserve someone better.
If you feel this way, you really have no choice but to let go because you’ll never be happy with this person you’re dating unless you feel like an equal. Break up, go out and have fun. You may meet someone you deserve, someone who’s way better than your current partner. But keep your fingers crossed though. [Read: How to break up with someone you love and not hurt them]
#5 Emotional affairs. You may be having an emotional affair with a good friend or even a colleague at work, and not even know it! Do you find it easier to talk about your work or your personal problems with someone else but not with your partner? Unless you open up to your partner and communicate with them, you’d always feel disconnected and bored. [Read: Signs you're more than just friends with someone else already]
#6 Sex is just boring. Yes, it’s true. Sex can get rather monotonous after a few years. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around and bring the sizzle back in bed. If you find it more fun to think of excuses to avoid sex than actually have it, you’re more than just bored with your love life. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to spice up your sex life]
#7 Special memories. Special memories are everything in a relationship, just like it is in life. When you look back at your life, you remember it by the happy memories you have. The more the memories you can think of, the better and more worthwhile your life would feel.
Love works the same way. If you stop creating excitement and fond memories all the time, you’ll have nothing that’ll make your love feel special and wonderful.
#8 Communication. Do you ever get tired of trying to explain something to your partner because it takes too long to go into all the details? This is exactly how couples lose communication in a relationship. They’re too bored to talk about the little things because they feel like it’s unimportant. But in reality, it’s the little things that actually count. [Read: 8 pillow talk conversations that'll bring both of you closer overnight]
#9 Spontaneity. Planning your whole life together is the perfect way to prepare yourselves and the relationship for the future. But every now and then, both of you need a few moments of reckless madness to keep the relationship exciting. After all, a little detour from the straight path now and then always makes things a lot more exciting.
#10 You miss being single. This is a scary place to be, and you can never get over it unless you learn to deal with it. It may just be a passing phase, but unless you learn to cope with it, the thought will pop back into your head time and again.
What would you do when you were single? Do the same things with your partner, of course, minus the flirting with the opposite sex part. You can do that when your partner isn’t around if it makes you feel better. [Confession: I want to be single again!]
#11 Shared goals and passions. If you have no shared passions or long term goals together, both of you will have nothing to look forward to and will definitely end up getting bored of each other. Build castles in the air together, and learn to dream about a better life together. It’ll make both of you feel more passionate about working towards a common goal, and bring both of you closer too.
#12 Together time. Together time is good, but too much together time can be claustrophobic. Spend time with your own friends or by yourselves now and then. When you meet up again at the end of the day, both of you will be excited to talk about your own lives for a change. [Read: How to give space in a relationship]
#13 Someone else excites you. This happens all the time, so you don’t need to feel sick to your throat assuming you’re a two timing liar and a cheat. But even when you ignore this new person or avoid any thoughts of cheating on your own partner, the thoughts of this new exciting person who’s full of life and mystery may psychologically arm twist you into believing that you’re in a boring relationship. You may not want an affair, but all of a sudden your relationship could seem lifeless. [Read: What should you do when you like someone else?]
#14 Annoying partners. Do you find some details about your partner’s behavior annoying, be it their clumsiness or their laziness? Learn to communicate. Even the smallest issues grow out of proportion with time. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill. Unless you confront it, it rolls all the way to the end, getting bigger with every roll.
#15 You’ve lost your life. You have no special times outside of your relationship. If you give up on your own life just to spend more time with your partner, there will always come a time when you feel like you need your own life back because you don’t know who you are anymore. Avoid that stage, and learn to give yourself and your partner a lot of me-time.
What do you do now that you’re bored with your relationship?
The answer is simple. What do you want to do? What’s the first solution your mind gives you? Do you want to fix it or do you want to move on?
Work hard towards a better relationship and fix it. Or talk to your partner and take a temporary break from each other. [Read: How taking a break from each other for a while works]
You don’t have too many options here. If you’re bored with your relationship, it’s better to confront it now or both of you may end up hating each other and move towards a messy breakup in future.
Use these 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship to understand your relationship boredom better. And once you know the cause, make up your mind on what you want to do next.
We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!
Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!