Do you feel like you’re getting bored with your relationship?
The thing is, once you get comfy, sitting around binging Netflix and eating pizza, things can get boring. Now that may sound like a perfect date to you, but when there is zero effort being put into the relationship on both sides, it can get monotonous fast.
Relationships are not just about going with the flow. They require effort, energy, and sometimes hard work. But that is what makes an amazing relationship worth it.
So, if you’re seeing these signs of a boring relationship, it’s time to get to work. Almost always, boredom sets into a relationship because you didn’t do anything to prevent it. [Read: Boring boyfriend? 22 signs and what to do to make love exciting again]
Is it normal to be bored in a relationship?
Yes, it is actually quite common to be bored in a relationship. But it is fixable!
When a relationship is new, everything is exciting. You literally feel like you’re on drugs because your brain is releasing feel-good hormones that make you feel that way.
But after a while, your brain stops producing those chemicals, and it goes back to normal. And over time, a relationship will become routine. That’s where boredom usually sets in. [Read: 69 signs your relationship is over or on the verge of ending for good]
How long does it take for a relationship to become boring?
Not only is every person and every relationship unique, but everyone’s definition of “boring” is also very individualized. So, this is not an easy question to answer. [Read: 21 honest reasons why your relationship is drifting and why it happens]
With that said, most experts agree that a relationship can get boring anywhere from three months to eighteen months. But some couples can go years before they hit that “seven-year itch.”
And then there are relationships that never get boring. The two people are actively trying to keep the spark and excitement alive on an ongoing basis.
But there are still other people who don’t mind a boring relationship and actually might prefer it that way.
Regardless of an actual timeline, the more important thing to think about is what is boring to you. And is this relationship still making you happy? That’s all you need to know. [Read: How to be more interesting – 21 tricks to go from boring to lovable!]
Identify why it’s a boring relationship
Is something off? Or are you just bored? Maybe you go out to eat the same night every week and see the same friends and go on the same vacations. [Read: 42 happy and naughty ways to keep a relationship exciting, fun, and fresh]
Anything routine will become boring after a while. It is perfectly natural for the new and exciting part of a relationship to come to a halt. Once you know each other quite well it can be easy to fall into patterns.
Or maybe you do try new things, like going to new restaurants or fun adventures, but you still feel bored? [Read: How to keep a relationship going when you feel it slipping away]
Well, that could be your communication. Maybe now that you know each other to a certain extent you feel like you have nothing to talk about.
Or, maybe you feel more like roommates than a couple. All these things happen in relationships. And they are all things you can overcome together.
You can get that spark back. You can learn how to not be boring in a relationship, but first, you need to acknowledge that boredom has entered the building. [Read: 43 really fun things to do at home when you’re bored, broke, and alone]
Are you boring in the relationship?
Before we go into the signs and ways to fix a boring relationship, answer yourself one question: do you think you come off as boring to your partner? Or are you bored with your own relationship?
If you feel like your partner finds you dull because you’re shy or quiet, try doing things where you have to interact with them and be less boring. If you feel bored with your own relationship, make changes.
But, if your partner actually tells you you’re boring when you don’t feel bored or think you are, you might want to take a good look at yourself and stop blaming your partner for the boring relationship. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]
However, sometimes what is boring to some people is exciting to others. You just need to find try to compromise on your ideas of excitement.
What are the signs of a boring relationship?
Before getting into the details, a boring relationship does not necessarily mean a bad relationship. With a little care, love, and passion it can be fun again. [Read: Vanilla sex – what it is and 26 hot ways to go from boring to OMFG in bed]
But what are the signs that your relationship is starting to become a little yawn-some?
1. Routine
Routines are great for jobs, pets, and children, but having a routine with your partner does not yell romance, passion, or fun.
Planning a date night every Friday is good, but if you go to the same place over and over and order the same food, things will get dull *if they haven’t already*. [Read: Relationship rules – 30 must-know tips to live your best love life]
2. You have the same fights
If your fights always lead back to the same topic, like you never do anything fun anymore, we’re sorry to break it to you, but your relationship is boring.
If you fight over what movie to watch and who has to clean the bathroom this week, you are probably snoring your way through this courtship. [Read: Why you keep having the same fights and how to break the unhealthy cycle]
3. You’re glued to your phone
The spark in a relationship doesn’t last forever. Even before smartphones and the internet, that was the case. But unfortunately, this technology comes with even more distractions.
Here’s one of the clearest signs of a boring relationship for you. If you are laying in bed and you both haven’t spoken a word or looked up from your screen, something is not quite right there.
If you are tagging each other in memes while sitting next to each other rather than actually talking, you may need to get your priorities straight!
Start by admitting that you’re seeing the signs of a boring relationship in your own “perfect” romance. [Read: Relationship rut – the many types, why it’s common, and how to admit and fix it]
4. You don’t talk about your feelings
When you first start dating, you have butterflies, you’re giddy, and you share how excited you are.
Although it can be nice to have the comfort of a long-term relationship, once you are used to that person, you stop sharing because you think they already know.
If you haven’t said “I love you,” had a meaningful discussion, or talked about your feelings lately, it doesn’t mean something is wrong. It could mean you are in a rut.
You expect your partner to know you so well at this point that taking the time to share things just doesn’t seem necessary. [Read: 49 naughty and freaky sex questions for couples to keep the spark alive]
5. Your bed is for sleeping only
Sex or some sort of physical connection is one of the most vital parts of a healthy relationship. This is what set your spark off in the first place and it is what helps passion continue.
So if all you do in bed is sleep and swipe through your phone, you are officially in a boring relationship.
6. You dream of doing things together, but never actually do them
This is a clear sign that your relationship has become far too comfortable and a little boring. [Read: Couple goals – 58 fake and real ideas you MUST add to your relationship goals]
You might have dreams of going places with your partner and you might even talk about them together, but do you actually do them?
If not, ask yourselves why. You’ve become stuck in a rut and you’re far too comfortable to move. But, ruts are boring!
7. You compare your relationship to your friends’ relationships
If you’re regularly looking at the relationships your friends have and wishing that yours could be more like theirs, that’s a pretty strong sign that your love life has become boring. [Read: Self-concept – How we create and develop it to control our happiness]
It’s human nature to compare to a degree, but you should never look at someone else’s relationship and feel bad about your own. We’re all different and our unions are equally as unique.
If you’re always wondering why your relationship leaves you feeling bored and lacking in excitement, it’s time to shake things up.
The common reasons why relationships get boring and lose their luster after time
Now we know the signs of a boring relationship, we need to explore why they actually happen. The reasons for your boredom could be one of these or all of them. [Read: 59 signs it’s time to break up and give up instead of trying to fix a relationship]
Use these reasons to find out why you’re bored in love. When you pinpoint the source, it’s time to decide your next move.
1. Your days are exactly the same
Your relationship is a boring routine. It’s completely predictable, and you know exactly what you’re going to do with each other every day of the week. [Read: I’m so bored with life – 20 ways to bring the spark back when life is boring]
When love starts to get monotonous, some of us can’t help but feel stifled, like we’re stuck in a locked room.
We cited routine as a sign of a boring relationship, but it’s also the cause of it too. You need to mix things up a little!
2. You’ve lost the spontaneous excitement
Do you remember the last time both of you did something exciting together? When we’re in a relationship for a long time, we start to take surprises and excitement for granted. [Read: Feeling stuck in life? How to change directions and live your dream]
If you’re getting bored because the relationship doesn’t excite you anymore, do something about it. Plan a vacation, go out for dinner once a week on a random day, or just do something!
3. Your relationship foundation is fragile
When two lovers fall in love, it’s always best to take your time. Falling in love too quickly can build a romance on shaky grounds, especially if the reason both of you are together is because of one or two aspects, like great sex or a rebound relationship.
Always take your time while dating someone before you fall in love or move in together. [Read: 18 foundations of a strong relationship that separate the good and the bad]
4. You’re looking around for better opportunities
Everywhere you look around, you see better dating potential. You like your partner a lot, but somewhere deep inside, you feel like you’ve got the short end of the stick and deserve someone better.
If you feel this way, you really have no choice but to let go because you’ll never be happy with the person you’re dating unless you feel like an equal.
Break up, go out, and have fun. You may meet someone you deserve, someone who’s way better than your current partner. But keep your fingers crossed though. [Read: How to break up with someone you love – 18 steps and the things to say]
5. You’re having an emotional affair
You may be having an emotional affair with a good friend or even a colleague at work, and not even know it!
Do you find it easier to talk about your work or your personal problems with someone else but not with your partner? Unless you open up to your partner and communicate with them, you’ll always feel disconnected and bored.
In this case, you’re putting more effort into the affair than your actual relationship.
6. You’ve allowed sex to become boring
Yes, it’s true. Sex can get rather monotonous after a few years. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around and bring the sizzle back to bed.
If you find it more fun to think of excuses to avoid sex than actually have it, you’re more than just bored with your love life. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom and leave you horny 24/7]
7. You’re not making special memories anymore
Special memories are everything in a relationship, just like they are in life. When you look back at your life, you remember it by the happy memories you have. The more memories you can think of, the better and more worthwhile your life will feel.
Love works the same way. If you stop creating excitement and fond memories all the time, you’ll have nothing that’ll make your love feel special and wonderful.
8. You’ve stopped communicating
Do you ever get tired of trying to explain something to your partner because it takes too long to go into all the details? This is exactly how couples lose communication in a relationship. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]
They’re too bored to talk about the little things because they feel like it’s unimportant. But in reality, it’s the little things that actually count.
9. You don’t take small risks
Planning your whole life together is the perfect way to prepare yourselves and the relationship for the future. But every now and then, both of you need a few moments of reckless madness to keep the relationship exciting.
After all, a little detour from the straight path now and then always makes things a lot more exciting. [Read: How to broaden your horizons and get out of your comfort zone for good]
10. Deep down, you miss being single
This is a scary place to be, and you can never get over it unless you learn to deal with it. It may just be a passing phase, but unless you learn to cope with it, the thought will pop back into your head time and again.
What would you do when you were single? Do the same things with your partner, of course, minus the flirting with the opposite sex part.
You can do that when your partner isn’t around if it makes you feel better. [Confession: I want to be single again!]
11. You lack shared goals and passions
If you have no shared passions or long-term goals together, both of you will have nothing to look forward to and will definitely end up getting bored of each other.
Build castles in the air together, and learn to dream about a better life together. It’ll make both of you feel more passionate about working towards a common goal, and bring both of you closer too.
12. You’re spending too much time together
Together time is good, but too much together time can be claustrophobic. [Read: 15 ways to give space in a relationship and feel closer than ever before]
Spend time with your own friends or by yourselves now and then. When you meet up again at the end of the day, both of you will be excited to talk about your own lives for a change.
13. Someone else excites you
This happens all the time, so you don’t need to feel sick to your stomach assuming you’re a two-timing liar and a cheat.
But even when you ignore this new person or avoid any thoughts of cheating, the thoughts of this new exciting person who’s full of life and mystery may psychologically arm-twist you into believing that you’re in a boring relationship.
You may not want an affair, but all of a sudden your relationship could seem lifeless. [Read: In a relationship but like someone else? Steps to decode your mind]
14. You’ve become annoyed by your partner
Do you find some details about your partner’s behavior annoying, like their clumsiness or their laziness? Learn to communicate. Even the smallest issues grow out of proportion with time.
It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill. Unless you confront it, it rolls all the way to the end, getting bigger with every roll. Besides, we’re pretty sure you’re not perfect either!
15. You’ve lost your own interests and identity
You have no special times outside of your relationship.
If you give up on your own life just to spend more time with your partner, there will always come a time when you feel like you need your own life back because you don’t know who you are anymore. [Read: Sense of self – what it is, 36 signs, tips, and steps to raise it and feel great]
Avoid that stage, and learn to give yourself and your partner a lot of me-time. Do the things you’ve always enjoyed and have a life of your own outside of your relationship too.
16. You’re dealing with stress outside of your relationship
If you or your partner are going through something stressful, perhaps in your family life, at work, with money, or health, it can easily impact the relationship.
You stop making an effort to a degree and you may become so absorbed in what is going on, that you stop communicating. [Read: Stress ruining your relationship? The biggest signs and quick fixes]
Things happen in life sometimes but your partner is the person to help you through these things. Share your feelings and work out a way through together.
Even if all you can do is support one another, it’s a huge help.
17. You’re dealing with past issues
If your partner cheated on you in the past, or you cheated on them, and you decided to give it another go, your relationship will not return to normal straightway… if at all. [Read: Should you forgive a cheater? How and 21 MUST-KNOWS to make a choice]
In some cases, you may mentally check out of the relationship without realizing it and that can lead you towards boredom and feeling stuck in a rut.
If you’ve chosen to continue in the relationship, you have to leave the past behind and work on a better future.
18. You want more than they’re willing to give
Now, this particular reason for a boring relationship is a pretty terminal one, unfortunately. [Read: What to look for in a relationship – 23 traits of a happy romance]
If you’re sticking around out of comfort but you know that your partner isn’t willing to give you what you need in the relationship, boredom is the least of your worries. That doesn’t mean you should expect everything your own way, but you may have something in your mind that you need and you’re not going to get.
For instance, if you want children in the future and your partner doesn’t, that’s not going to change. [Read: Women who don’t want children – the valid reasons behind their choice]
Your relationship will suffer if you stick around, and your life will too. In that case, you have to leave to find what you want.
19. You lack a support system
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you get into a new relationship is to give up your friends for your new partner. Some people do this without realizing it.
Over time, they start to see their friends less and less and before they know it, they’ve drifted too far apart. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good one]
But everyone needs an outside support system and people to spend time with. You can’t rely on your partner for every single thing.
If you’ve lost your support system, it could be that you start to feel disillusioned in life and that affects your relationship. You’ll feel bored and a little lost.
It’s time to reconnect with old friends or start making new ones. [Read: How to reconnect with old friends and rebuild lost friendships]
20. You’re both just lazy
Long-term relationships do become a little same-y over time, but that shouldn’t be allowed to continue for long. You need to sit up, take notice, and take action.
But, if you’re both pretty lazy and you’re happy to carry on drifting in this way, at some point you’re going to look back and wish you did something about it.
Give yourselves a kick out of that comfort zone. It’s possible to get too comfy, you know! [Read: 34 secrets to stop being lazy, find the reasons why, and overcome the excuses]
21. Lack of opportunities
Sometimes, people just don’t have a lot of money or resources to make their relationship more fun.
Think about it. Doing exciting things like going zip-lining, out to a fancy dinner, or traveling takes a lot of money that some people just don’t have.
So, instead of getting creative and trying to find things to do that don’t require money, they just don’t bother. But there are ways to have fun without breaking the bank. You could take long hikes or take photos of each other on your phones for fun.
But you have to want to do these things badly enough for them to work. [Read: 60 best free date ideas to have a romantic time without spending money]
22. Take each other for granted
Unfortunately, most people take their partners for granted. They always have them around, they have their routine, and they just assume that they will always be there.
But anyone who is honest with themselves knows that nothing is guaranteed in life. You could break up tomorrow, or any other disaster could make your partner disappear from your life.
So, it’s important to stop taking each other for granted if you want to get out of relationship boredom.
Mistakes that lead to boring relationships
Relationships don’t just get boring on their own for no reason. They get boring because one or both of the people in the relationship make mistakes.
Here are some of the top things that people do that lead to boring relationships.
1. Letting emotional intimacy lag
Emotional intimacy is vital for a good, healthy, loving relationship. Without it, things can get boring. Being emotionally connected to your partner makes you feel secure and understood. It also plays a big role in keeping sexual desire alive.
2. Being with the wrong person
Some people hate being single so much that they get into a relationship just so they don’t have to be alone. [Read: Why are you still dating the wrong person?]
Or maybe you fell in love at first, but the person changed. Either way, when you are with the wrong person, it will most likely lead to a boring relationship.
3. Ignoring date night opportunities
When you stop going on dates and trying to be romantic with one another, the relationship will definitely get boring. Relationships take constant effort from both people to keep the romance alive.
So, if you two just sit in front of the TV all night, every night, that is a huge mistake. [Read: 20 naughty, sexy date night ideas to make love feel hot and steamy again]
4. Forgetting about yourself
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to be together 24/7. If you are, then you can’t miss each other when you’re apart. So, you should also do your own thing.
Have your own hobbies, take care of yourself doing what you like, and be an individual too.
5. No depth to your relationship
There is a lot more to a healthy relationship than just sex. You have to be mentally and intellectually stimulated by your partner too.
This requires having actual in-depth conversations about interesting topics and also sharing innermost thoughts with each other.
6. Not spending time with your friends
You really shouldn’t ignore your friends just because you’re in a relationship. Spending too much time with your partner will become boring anyway, so you reall should spend time with your friends. [Read: 50 crazy & impulsive things to do with friends you won’t ever forget]
You need your friends to keep your life exciting too. Going out with friends will help you feel rejuvenated and give you a break from your partner.
7. Unhealthy attachment to your phone
There are too many people in the world who are addicted to their phones. But instead of scrolling on your phone for hours on end, you should be talking to your partner and spending quality time with them.
Have a great conversation with them, even if it’s about something you saw on your phone. [Read: Phubbing – what it is, 18 reasons why we phub, and ways to stop it ASAP]
8. Being too comfortable
Do you go to the bathroom with the door open? Have you let yourself go and don’t dress up for your partner anymore?
If so, you have become too comfortable. When this happens, the romance fades and you start to become more of a friend or roommate.
9. Too attached to your routine
It’s great to be a predictable and reliable person because it fosters trust. But if you and your partner can predict each other’s actions down to the minute, then that’s a bit much.
Go outside of your comfort zone and try something “crazy” outside of your normal routine.
10. Letting sex get stale
Physical affection and sex are two things that keep a relationship exciting. [Read: Sex after marriage – 41 truths about how often married couples have sex]
If you don’t kiss, hold hands, and have a regular sex life, then you might as well just be friends. You can’t let the physical fireworks fade if you don’t want to have a boring relationship.
11. Letting the honeymoon phase control you
In the beginning of a relationship, everything is fantastic. That’s why it’s called the honeymoon phase. But this doesn’t last forever.
So, if you are constantly disappointed because it ended, you will be disappointed for the rest of your life. Just accept that it’s over and you’re now in a deeper, more connected phase of your relationship.
12. Losing that little spark
Many men *and women* try to woo their partner in the beginning of a relationship. [Read: Sexual flirting – how it works and ways to go from normal to naughty flirty ASAP]
Whether it’s buying flowers or leaving your partner little love notes, you need to keep that spark alive. Don’t stop flirting and doing all those cute things you once did.
13. You never argue
While this might sound like a good thing, never arguing isn’t necessarily healthy. If never have any disagreements, this could indicate apathy on one or both of your parts.
Occasional bickering brings out some passion and excitement. And then you get to make up!
14. Don’t remember why you got together in the first place
Do you remember what you loved about your partner when you first met and fell in love? [Read: 36 ways and questions to fix a broken relationship and rebuild it with love]
Don’t forget the qualities they have that drew you to them in the first place. Being blind to these things will just cause you to focus on their flaws, and that’s not healthy.
15. Ignoring the feeling
Boredom in your relationship isn’t going to go away if you ignore it. If you aren’t satisfied with your relationship, then do something about it!
Don’t just sit there and complain. You are not a victim. You have the power to change your relationship and make it exciting again.
Does being bored mean the end of the relationship?
No! You can make changes to your relationship and fix whatever you’re becoming bored with. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]
But you need to make sure that you communicate with your partner and get to the bottom of what the issue really is.
So don’t panic or feel worried if you’re starting to feel a little stuck in a rut with your relationship. Consider it a wake-up call.
Is the relationship worth saving?
While a boring relationship can be a wake-up call, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is worth saving. [Read: 22 Practical ways to save your relationship when it’s falling apart]
Sure, you can save the relationship. But the question is… do you want to? Does your partner want to?
Sometimes relationships get boring simply because people fall out of love and stop caring. They can become apathetic, which is the worst state to be in when you’re in a relationship.
So, in order to save the relationship, you need to have a good long talk with yourself first, and then with your partner. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]
What do you want? What does your partner want? Both of you need to be on the same page.
If you’re not on the same page about saving your boring relationship, then it won’t work. It takes both people to put effort to make the relationship less boring. One person can’t do all the work.
But if you both want to roll up your sleeves and get to work so you can have a more exciting partnership, then keep reading! [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities and what it looks like in real life]
What should you do now that you’re bored with your relationship?
The answer is simple. What do you want to do? What’s the first solution your mind goes to? Do you want to fix it, or do you want to move on?
Work hard towards a better relationship and fix it. Or talk to your partner and take a temporary break from each other. You don’t have too many options here. [Read: 42 red flags and signs it’s time to end your relationship and move on for good]
If you’re bored with your relationship, it’s better to confront it now or both of you may end up hating each other and move towards a messy breakup in the future.
How to bring the fun back into a boring relationship
A boring relationship is not all out of hope just yet. There is plenty you can do to make things fun again. Break out of your routine. Turn your boring relationship into an exciting one by using these tips.
1. What is boredom to you?
This is the money question right here. What is it about the relationship that you find to be boring? Depending on what you believe is boring in your relationship, the next steps will be different. [Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship that make a great one]
Have you completely lost interest in your partner or do you still find them interesting but the relationship itself has lost its excitement? You have to know the answer to this before you do anything else.
2. Acknowledge it but don’t freak out
Before you try to fix anything, realize that boredom happens in every relationship, even healthy ones. It is a natural part of any relationship. Once you get to know each other and are comfortable, it is easy to let that be the steering focus.
Know there is nothing wrong with you or your partner. This is just a passing phase. [Read: Relationship timeline – 16 most common dating phases of a relationship]
3. Look within
Usually, when we’re bored, it’s a reflection of ourselves. Our boredom usually stems from us not fulfilling our needs.
When you’re experiencing relationship boredom, look within yourself as the answer may be right under your nose. The relationship is a safe space for you to grow in, so take advantage of that and explore your feelings.
4. Change your perception
Your perception of the relationship is a huge factor in this. Your perception may not match reality, and that contributes to your feelings of boredom. [Read: How to be more positive – 36 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]
Just because you have a routine that’s comfortable doesn’t mean your relationship is boring. Listen, a majority of relationships aren’t a Netflix show.
That’s the truth. You don’t need every second of your life to be full of excitement and impromptu trips!
If that’s in your head, get it out. Enjoying your time watching a movie or cuddling doesn’t make the relationship boring, so as long as you enjoy your partner for who they are. Everything else is fixable. [Read: 19 unrealistic expectations in love we want to believe but shouldn’t]
5. Talk about it
To stop your relationship from continuing down its boring path, the first and best thing you can do is talk about it. If you and your partner aren’t on the same page, it will not work out.
Mention that you feel like your relationship has fallen into a rut and you want to shake things up.
Throw out some ideas like going away for the weekend, rock climbing, or just exploring a nearby town. [Read: 30 signs of a one-sided relationship and how to fix it before it ends]
6. How does your partner feel?
Oh yeah, you probably forgot about how they feel in all of this. Don’t worry, we’re all guilty of this. Maybe they feel the same way as you or maybe they’re really content.
The point is, you don’t actually know because you didn’t ask them.
Relationship boredom is a hard question to ask, but once you see what makes them bored, then you compare and take the right steps from there. [Read: What is pillow talk? How to use it and cozy conversations for bed that bring you closer]
7. Brainstorm a few action points
Think of what you can do together to be more exciting. This should be a team effort. Even take turns.
Maybe you want to go dancing and your partner wants to go hiking. Even plan spontaneous dates or surprise dates so the other person doesn’t know the plan.
8. Start with baby steps
You don’t have to plan a random trip to Spain to break out of your boring rut. Even small things can be enough to reignite that spark.
If you are planners or enjoy a routine, just switch up where you go to dinner at first. Maybe go on a double date.
Or try to pick out each other’s outfits for your next date night. Small things can be enough to push you in the right direction.
9. Make a joint plan
The only way this will work is if you both are invested in fixing this feeling of boredom. You both need to work on parts of the relationship to depart boredom city.
If you simply lost the excitement when talking to each other, you’ll both need to work on changing the routine to make your days more interesting.
10. Have goals together
Sometimes, we just need to have something to look forward to cure relationship boredom. You know, something that gives us a slight rush.
Planning a trip together, for example, is one way where you can both look forward and work towards that one goal. You both have something to be excited about and share together. [Read: 17 most important things in a relationship that hold it together]
11. Push yourself to be spontaneous
Some people might head to the airport and get on the first flight leaving. But if that is too much for you, we get it. So instead, make small gestures.
Surprise your partner at work and take them for lunch. Set up a fun backyard date for when they get home. Or plan a secret date and have them do the same.
But make sure that your partner is making the same level of effort—this isn’t going to work if it’s just you attempting to inject the fun back into your relationship. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]
12. Try new things together
Now, there is nothing wrong with being a planner, but sometimes it’s good to just break out of the routine and do something different. So, why not try new things together?
If you always do dinner and a movie, instead sign up for cooking lessons or tennis lessons. Go scuba diving or learn how to dance or speak another language.
Learning new things together is fun, brings you back to school days, and shows you how good you are together. [Read: 31 new things to try in bed at least once with your lover]
13. Do something physical
Okay, get your head out of the gutter. We mean couples yoga, kickboxing, or even an adventure camp full of zip lines and trust exercises. These will get you back in the swing of things physically and help you remember what your relationship might be lacking.
You can even paint a room, plant a garden, or wash the car together. These may seem like silly household chores, but they are great ways to have fun while accomplishing something together.
When your blood is pumping and you’re being active, your mood increases and that definitely helps things along. [Read: 65 couples activities and fun things to do that’ll make you feel closer than ever]
14. Spice up your sex life
Never underestimate the importance of sex in a relationship. It’s something that bonds you together and creates that intimacy relationships need.
If your sex life needs some attention, make it a point to spice up your bedroom time. Try sexting, role play, dirty talk, new positions, or buy some lingerie and surprise your partner.
Even heading away for a weekend and getting down and dirty in a hotel might be all you need to reignite the spark that’s been lacking! [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more interesting when it’s boring and lame]
15. Have you forgotten how to flirt?
Once you get into a committed relationship, flirting can cease. Those tingly butterflies can stop fluttering. But a small compliment or even teasing can do a lot for the morale of your relationship.
Compliment your partner on their outfit, their taste in home decor, or their strength or determination, but with a sexy edge.
Just changing up the fact that you’re used to each other and reigniting those nerves and blushing cheeks can amp up your relationship. [Read: Flirting – what it is, the different types, and how to pick a style that works for you]
16. Think about your partner more often
The excitement in a relationship isn’t all about dates and what you do together but also what you do for each other. For example, you could write each other notes whenever you go to the other’s place. They are silly but sweet.
But once that dies down, everything else can sort of crumble with it. Do those small things again.
Buying flowers, picking up their favorite candy bar, or just offering to do the dishes at the end of the night adds effort to the relationship. [Read: 48 heartfelt ways to prove you love someone and show them you really care]
17. Mix things up a little
A lot of people say to get out and go someplace new to encourage new feelings with your partner when you’re bored. It can’t hurt, but going out to eat on the beach versus your favorite local restaurant won’t change much.
Instead, try new experiences. Teach each other something. Learn something new together.
These exercises are bonding and help you become closer which is a new level in your relationship instead of mimicking the excitement you had at the start. [Read: 80 very unique, fun, and exciting things to do with your boyfriend]
18. Start a new experience bucket list
Trying something new together as a couple can remind you of why you are so connected in the first place. Go to an escape room, volunteer, or even do something wild like skydiving.
Taking risks, learning something new, and even being competitive with each other can boost the feelings you already have. [Read: Couples bucket list – 32 must-do things to create experiences together]
19. Take some time for yourself
A lot of couples think time apart is the kiss of death when it is actually one of the healthiest things you can do as a couple.
Have your own friends and your own hobbies. If you love hiking and your partner struggles to get out of bed before noon, go on your own.
Make sure you are fostering your own passions and projects apart from the relationship. And support each other through those things. This reminds you that your partner adds to your life but isn’t your entire life.
20. Have deep conversations
Boredom in a relationship can happen once you’re comfortable. You wait months or even years to be with someone you can be yourself with and then once it happens, you get bored.
The thing is you got to that point and stopped. You can always talk more. There is always something to talk about. Forget movies, TV, and work. Have deep conversations about religion, politics, history, and art.
There is always more to learn about each other and having deep conversations you may have never even considered before can remind you that you have so many more levels to connect on. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]
21. Check in with each other regularly
Remember that all of these things you can do to stop being boring in a relationship are temporary. Boredom comes and goes. All relationships go through ruts.
But, as long as you continue to check in with each other and put in that effort, you can learn to accept the natural progress while enjoying the excitement. [Read: Relationship stages – the phases couples go through by months and years]
22. Teach each other something
Learning something together helps with your bond. Bonus! Your attraction can gain a lot from teaching each other something new. You get to be awed and impressed by your partner and learn something in the process.
Teach them how to change a tire, build a website, or even fold an origami napkin.
23. Try role play
This can be sexual or not. Role play can reignite a spark that may be dimming. Long-term love and the chemistry and passion of a new love interest differ. [Read: Sexual role-play – how to try it and the 35 best roleplay ideas for couples]
Meet your partner at a bar and pretend to be someone new. Speak with an accent and introduce yourself with a new name. Act as if you’re meeting for the first time.
Maybe it is a blind date or an in-office romance that is frowned upon. This can really be exciting while maintaining your level of comfort in other areas.
24. Be a child
Don’t misread that as us telling you to have a child. Children won’t solve this! When we’re dating, we’re goofy, playful, and funny. So, why can’t you be that now? You should try goofy and playful in your relationship.
When you lose that sense of playfulness, that’s when things become boring as you’re no longer curious. If you’re laughing, how can you be bored? [Read: 19 playful foreplay sex games to get naughty and horny in minutes]
25. Do something out of your comfort zone
This goes for your partner as well. If you both can do something out of your comfort zones together, even better. In relationships, it’s easy to fall into a routine, this is what may give you the feeling of relationship boredom.
But, you can change that. Try a new activity together, or take a class. Whatever it is, do something that you both wouldn’t normally do.
26. Find a hobby you both love
If you both love hiking, great! If you both love scuba diving, even better! Now you have found a hobby which you both find pleasure in. So, go do it together. [Read: 33 best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]
It’s something exciting, something different. You won’t feel guilty dragging your partner along with you on some hike, and they won’t feel like they’re being dragged along behind you.
27. Have date nights
It’s so easy to make popcorn and sit on the couch binging on Netflix. But your Friday night doesn’t have to be like that at all. Instead, have weekly date nights to get rid of your relationship boredom.
Try out a new restaurant, go grab some ice cream, watch a movie, see a Burlesque show *which we highly recommend*—whatever is happening in your city, go check it out. [Read: Married sex – 38 sex ideas and naughty tips to spice it up and stay passionate]
28. Verbalize your love more
Most couples say they love each other with their words. But maybe you don’t say it enough! Or, lots of times people will only say “I love you” when they are hanging up the phone with their partner.
And even in that case, it’s not very emotional—kind of like “Love you, bye.” Almost like it’s only out of habit.
So, tell your partner that you love them at times when you normally don’t. Maybe you’re driving down the road. Just grab their hand and say, “I really love you!” [Read: 47 sweet ways to tell someone you love them with your words and actions]
Or if you’re just sitting on the couch watching TV, look into their eyes and express your love for them.
29. Go on a trip
If you can afford it, why not plan a little getaway? It can be just overnight to a big city, or for the weekend somewhere in the wilderness.
Whatever you both enjoy. It’s always fun to get out of town and explore new places. [Read: 59 fun things to do on a road trip to create awesome memories together]
30. Ditch the technology
Let’s face it, most people are a little too addicted to technology. They have the bad habit of scrolling through social media when they are with their partner. But this is not a good way to bring excitement into your relationship.
So, make a pact that you both will leave your phones or laptop in another room when you are together. Turn off the TV.
Have an actual conversation with each other. Search the internet for fun crazy questions to ask to spark some interesting discussion. [Read: 49 ways to rekindle a relationship or marriage and spark romance with love]
31. Make boring stuff fun
If you enjoy watching Netflix or walking around Target, no problem, but make it fun. If you can take a boring date and add something unique to it, not only will you have a better time, but so will your partner.
Watching Netflix? Quiz each other on at least five other things one of the actors was in. Going to dinner? Play “Heads Up” on your phone while waiting for your meal.
You can even head to Target and spend $10 on something for each other based on the little you may know about them. [Read: 23 fun, romantic, summer date ideas to warm your date’s heart and make it melt]
32. Say what you’re thinking
When you’re in a boring relationship, you may want to keep your thoughts to yourself, so you don’t seem like you’re complaining or too talkative. But, if you are often quiet or shy, let it out.
If you think the music at the restaurant is weird, say something. If you notice a dog in a baby stroller, point it out. Or if there is rude graffiti on the wall you passed, mention it.
You don’t need to keep things to yourself. Pointing out small things you think you’re the only one who notices can add a lot of fun to a date with your partner. [Read: How to be less shy and more comfortable and open up to new people]
33. Be excited
If you’re not excited, you won’t be exciting. For example, if you are dreading going to a restaurant where you don’t like the food, your mood will dull down the experience with your partner.
Don’t be worried to change your plans if it will put you in a better position to have fun. [Read: 55 secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]
34. Try couple’s therapy
Sometimes none of these will work. That doesn’t mean your relationship is beyond repair, just that you may need a helping hand in repairing it.
Couples therapy can give you a closer look at what got you into a boring relationship in the first place so you can find the perfect way to have fun again.
Switching up your routine and reigniting the flame can work, but finding a professional who can get to know you and your partner on a deeper level will help you tremendously. [Read: Relationship counseling – signs you need it to save your love]
What if nothing helps at all?
If you’ve tried all of the above and nothing feels any different, or the changes don’t last, you need to sit down and seriously think about the future of your relationship.
While it’s normal for things to settle down past the first honeymoon phase, that doesn’t mean you should put up with a boring, lacking-in-spark relationship.
You both need to make an effort to make a relationship work, but that shouldn’t be an exhausting workload either.
If it’s simply not working and you’re tired of feeling uninspired, perhaps it’s time to wave goodbye and find fulfillment in yourself for a while. That could mean a relationship break or a full stop. It’s up to you.
[Read: How to be more playful when you are out on a date]
It isn’t that hard to learn how to not have a boring relationship as long as you work together to create that magic. Start with these steps and watch the magical spark come back into your love life again in no time.
