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15 Reasons Why You’re Bored With Your Relationship

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You don’t need to feel guilty if you’re getting bored with your relationship. You just need to understand why you’re bored and do something about it! By Jessica Dawson

bored with your relationship

Relationships are tricky places to be in.

Sometimes, it makes you feel like the happiest person in the world.

And at other times, it spirals you back onto the ground and makes you wonder if you even want to be in one.

Do you feel like you’re getting bored with your relationship?

You’re not the only person with those thoughts on your mind, so you really don’t have to feel guilty about it, even if your lover is head over heels in love with you.

[Read: 5 reasons why you may be falling out of love with your partner]

Sometimes, these things just happen.

But should it come as a surprise to you if you get bored in love?

No.

Almost always, boredom sets into a relationship because you didn’t do anything to prevent it.

Are you bored with your relationship?

You may be in love for a long time. For few, it may take months, and for many others, it may take a few years.

But at some inevitable point in your love life, you may wonder if you’re really actually happy being in the relationship. [Read: Signs to find out of you're not in love anymore]

So why does that happen? You didn’t plan on falling out of love, but it just happened. You wake up one morning and you’re just not interested in staying in love anymore. You could push the thought aside and continue on in your relationship, or you could jump into an affair with someone sexy and fun. You could do any of those, and more.

But before you actually go blaming love and its mysterious ways that led to the downfall of your present relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions.

Why are you really bored? What do you want to do about it? And most importantly, what are the reasons behind why you got bored of your relationship?

Once you understand why you’re getting bored with your relationship, you can prevent it from ever happening again. And unless you truly understand the reasons behind the boredom, you’ll never really be able to enjoy a happy relationship without a bit of drama and boredom now and then. [Read: 7 secret signs of a relationship that's starting to go bad]

15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship

The reasons for your boredom could be one of these, or all of them. If you can learn to eliminate these flaws or distractions from your life, you’d surely be able to overcome the boredom and enjoy a perfect relationship.

Use these 15 reasons to find out why you’re bored in love, and when you pinpoint the source, it’s time to decide your next move.

#1 The daily routine. Your relationship is a boring routine. It’s completely predictable, and you know exactly what you’re going to do with each other every day of the week. When love starts to get monotonous, some of us can’t help but feel stifled like we’re stuck in a locked room.

#2 The frenzied excitement. Do you remember the last time both of you did something exciting together? When we’re in a relationship for a long time, we start to take surprises and excitement for granted. If you’re getting bored because the relationship doesn’t excite you anymore, do something about it. Plan a vacation, go out for dinner once a week on a random day, just do something!

#3 The fragile foundation. When two lovers fall in love, we always suggest that you take your time. Falling in love too quickly can build a romance on shaky grounds, especially if the reason both of you are together is because of one or two aspects, like great sex or a rebound relationship. Always take your time while dating someone before you fall in love or move in together. [Read: 10 reasons why saying 'I love you' too soon can ruin your relationship]

#4 Better opportunities. Everywhere you look around, you see better dating potentials. You like your partner a lot, but somewhere deep inside, you feel like you’ve got the short end of the stick and deserve someone better.

If you feel this way, you really have no choice but to let go because you’ll never be happy with this person you’re dating unless you feel like an equal. Break up, go out and have fun. You may meet someone you deserve, someone who’s way better than your current partner. But keep your fingers crossed though. [Read: How to break up with someone you love and not hurt them]

#5 Emotional affairs. You may be having an emotional affair with a good friend or even a colleague at work, and not even know it! Do you find it easier to talk about your work or your personal problems with someone else but not with your partner? Unless you open up to your partner and communicate with them, you’d always feel disconnected and bored. [Read: Signs you're more than just friends with someone else already]

#6 Sex is just boring. Yes, it’s true. Sex can get rather monotonous after a few years. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around and bring the sizzle back in bed.  If you find it more fun to think of excuses to avoid sex than actually have it, you’re more than just bored with your love life. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to spice up your sex life]

#7 Special memories. Special memories are everything in a relationship, just like it is in life. When you look back at your life, you remember it by the happy memories you have. The more the memories you can think of, the better and more worthwhile your life would feel.

Love works the same way. If you stop creating excitement and fond memories all the time, you’ll have nothing that’ll make your love feel special and wonderful.

#8 Communication. Do you ever get tired of trying to explain something to your partner because it takes too long to go into all the details? This is exactly how couples lose communication in a relationship. They’re too bored to talk about the little things because they feel like it’s unimportant. But in reality, it’s the little things that actually count. [Read: 8 pillow talk conversations that'll bring both of you closer overnight]

#9 Spontaneity. Planning your whole life together is the perfect way to prepare yourselves and the relationship for the future. But every now and then, both of you need a few moments of reckless madness to keep the relationship exciting. After all, a little detour from the straight path now and then always makes things a lot more exciting.

#10 You miss being single. This is a scary place to be, and you can never get over it unless you learn to deal with it. It may just be a passing phase, but unless you learn to cope with it, the thought will pop back into your head time and again.

What would you do when you were single? Do the same things with your partner, of course, minus the flirting with the opposite sex part. You can do that when your partner isn’t around if it makes you feel better. [Confession: I want to be single again!]

#11 Shared goals and passions. If you have no shared passions or long term goals together, both of you will have nothing to look forward to and will definitely end up getting bored of each other. Build castles in the air together, and learn to dream about a better life together. It’ll make both of you feel more passionate about working towards a common goal, and bring both of you closer too.

#12 Together time. Together time is good, but too much together time can be claustrophobic. Spend time with your own friends or by yourselves now and then. When you meet up again at the end of the day, both of you will be excited to talk about your own lives for a change. [Read: How to give space in a relationship]

#13 Someone else excites you. This happens all the time, so you don’t need to feel sick to your throat assuming you’re a two timing liar and a cheat. But even when you ignore this new person or avoid any thoughts of cheating on your own partner, the thoughts of this new exciting person who’s full of life and mystery may psychologically arm twist you into believing that you’re in a boring relationship. You may not want an affair, but all of a sudden your relationship could seem lifeless. [Read: What should you do when you like someone else?]

#14 Annoying partners. Do you find some details about your partner’s behavior annoying, be it their clumsiness or their laziness? Learn to communicate. Even the smallest issues grow out of proportion with time. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill. Unless you confront it, it rolls all the way to the end, getting bigger with every roll.

#15 You’ve lost your life. You have no special times outside of your relationship. If you give up on your own life just to spend more time with your partner, there will always come a time when you feel like you need your own life back because you don’t know who you are anymore. Avoid that stage, and learn to give yourself and your partner a lot of me-time.

What do you do now that you’re bored with your relationship?

The answer is simple. What do you want to do? What’s the first solution your mind gives you? Do you want to fix it or do you want to move on?

Work hard towards a better relationship and fix it. Or talk to your partner and take a temporary break from each other. [Read: How taking a break from each other for a while works]

You don’t have too many options here. If you’re bored with your relationship, it’s better to confront it now or both of you may end up hating each other and move towards a messy breakup in future.

[Read: 12 simple steps to have a long term relationship that lasts a lifetime]

Use these 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship to understand your relationship boredom better. And once you know the cause, make up your mind on what you want to do next.


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Have your say!
  • Amelia Hayes
    June 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m glad to know that you guys don’t take such a conservative stand when it comes to relationships. Almost all other relationship websites take such a hard stand, either they take the cosmo route and tell them love revolves around sex and sex positions and nothing else. Or they take the Oprah route and make us feel miserable for getting bored with a relationship.

    I’m glad to know that you guys tell your readers to accept that falling out of love is only a part of relationships, and it’s still something that can be controlled. I was in a relationship where I was bored too, and all my friends thought I was being a brat for wanting to break up with my “perfect” boyfriend. No one could understand what I was going through in my own mind.

    Now that I’ve read this article, I do understand that I could have changed my relationship if I had chosen to stick with it. But nevertheless, I have no regrets and I’m happy to have broken up with my ex. I only wish I could have shown my friends this article so they too could understand that love and excitement isn’t always about “perfection”. Sometimes, it takes a lot more than that to keep a relationship together.

  • June 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    These reasons are spot on. Once you become bored in a relationship, it’s a downward spiral for most people. i guess the key would be to identify first of all that you are bored and the reason for your boredom and then seek to address it with your partner to try to bring a little bit more excitement and passion into the relationship. Easier said than done though because sometimes by the time people figure out what the real issue is, it’s already too late.

  • December 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thanks for this post Jessica! In the past I always jumped ship when boredom set in. Now, I’m getting married in a few months and I’ve begun to feel bored. I think it has more to do with being caught up in other projects to really pay attention to the relationship for me. I’m going to take my fiancee out on some dates this week and reconnect.

    I appreciate your help.

    Trent

  • Ann
    January 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    What I do if I’m getting bored of my relationship with my boyfriend? It seems we seems to do the same thing everyday and there’s no excitement or we have nothing to talk bout anymore

  • Aseel
    December 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    I was in a relationship and i faced all those 15 Reason to get bored … so i droped it

    Easy……Just broke up and i returned back to my interesting life again

  • Rod of iron.
    December 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am in a relationship where the chemistry isn’t there and my man just doesn’t make me happy like he used to. It’s boring and repetitive. Because he mostly put’s more energy to other thing’s like his video games which makes me annoyed, I understand everyone needs some outlet creativity but come on, hour’s in front of a TV is crazy weird. I also, assumed thing’s would change they have gotten worst and as time goes by he just is boring to look at and I get bored in restaurants with people around us who are more interesting. I think it’s time to get ride of him.

  • Holly
    May 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for one year and I gave up
    my income as a sex worker to make him happy, he has it all put together work/life balance.
    Without that income I don’t know what direction my life is going.
    I love him and there is no going back.
    So why do I feel a break will help?
    It seems I had it all figured out 19 bought a new car, was saving for a house everything was scheduled, routined health and fitness, I felt great. Now my ambition and lack of motivation to even get out of bed has hit a downhill spiral.
    And Im begging to resent my partner, for my own selfish reasons.
    We live together and we split the rent, since he moved in he has went from a teen with little responsibility to an adult.
    He never complains about being broke because of bills.
    Whereas I’m high maintenance and what would of been a small sum out of a large pay-check
    Is now almost my entire wage.
    on a bad week I’m relying on
    He and my parents to hold my head above water most the time.
    Someone please help
    How do I stop my selfish ways?

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