There are so many people who have opinions on what couple goals are. Most people base these opinions on their religion, social media, or purely on what they’ve been told growing up.
Either way, it’s hard to know what you should really look for in a life partner. Since couple goals have become a thing, they don’t really show a real couple at work.
The idea of “couple goals” has been all over the Internet. But what are couple goals really showing?
Many different social media accounts cover this topic and basically just show pictures of—probably—models posed for a really cute couple-like picture. The problem is that those aren’t real. So, what are couple goals? [Read: How to be a happy couple that everyone envies]
Couple goals are things you are aiming for in a relationship. They are the things you want out of a relationship. This is what you strive for.
But just like many want to make a lot of money in life, they eventually discover that connections, experiences, and relationships are more important. And couple goals are no different.
What we recognize as couple goals, especially online, are not what any true and healthy couple is working towards. Couple goals are essentially what you put on display, not how you actually are as a couple. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do]
Before we answer this question, think about this. Let’s say you lived back in 1970, and you wanted to go from point A to point B all across the country. Well, would you just hop in your car and hope that you got there without a plan or a map?
Of course not.
When a person or couple doesn’t have a plan or any goals, then they just wander aimlessly and don’t really get anywhere. You need to know where you’re going in order to get there. [Read: How to better a relationship and improve your love life]
Just like a GPS guides your car now, you need to have couple goals to guide your relationship. When you don’t have any, then you and your partner won’t have any standards and guidelines to follow. And that does not make for a healthy relationship.
So that’s why every relationship needs to have couple goals.
Can you have a relationship without couple goals? Sure, of course, you can. But the people who don’t have agreed-upon goals won’t be as happy as the ones who do. [Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]
Now, the goals don’t necessarily have to be written down or even directly discussed. But at the very least, they should be a quiet understanding between the two people. If there isn’t an agreement, then the relationship won’t get very far.
And the whole point of having a romantic relationship is to live happily ever after, right? At least it should be. And that will just make your life happier overall. Who doesn’t want that?
We are SOOOO obsessed with super cute couples who seem to be perfect and amazing and really happy with each other. We ogle at images on the internet of couples posed to look really intimate, and we can’t get enough. But why is that?
Well, it’s because we think that’s reality, and we wish it were ours. We wish we had someone to hold us just like the person in the image is holding their “loved one.”
We think we’re able to have that reality and daydream about those specific couple goals. [Read: The good, bad, and ugly of social media and relationships]
Every relationship is different, and we certainly shouldn’t focus too much on comparisons with other couples. So, what if Sally and Mark from down the road have just got engaged and they’ve only been together six months, and you’ve been together four years?
Your relationship goals should be things you achieve through spending time together naturally. Not things you push yourselves to achieve because other couples have.
There is no timeline to a relationship. You certainly shouldn’t put pressure on yourselves, or feel lacking, because you’re not hitting the same so-called milestones as them!
What you can do, is look toward these cute, funny, dirty, and downright achievable couple goals, to prove that you’re making progress at your own pace. [Read: Types of relationships – 26 ways to define your love life]
You may look at all of those social media accounts and think that that’s what you need in order to be happy in your relationship. The truth is that social media has ruined what a healthy and happy relationship really looks like!
More and more people are reporting that social media actually causes hardships in their relationships. You might be jealous that your boyfriend isn’t acting like these Instagram boyfriends, or that your girlfriend doesn’t do all of the things that those other girls online are doing for their boyfriends.
Social media makes us compare ourselves to others, but what you see is rarely the true or whole story. You don’t know that the happy-looking couple is really happy. [Read: Instagram envy and how to keep things real when you feel envious]
For all you know, they may have been arguing before that photograph was taken! Social media is nothing but an illusion and by comparing your relationship to something you see on Instagram or Facebook, you’re falling for the trick. [Read: Why social media is killing your relationship]
The thing about couple goals is they are usually pretty surface-level. They are things that look amazing but have no depth. And we often dream of these couple goals when we are single.
When you don’t have someone that makes you feel good, you imagine you could have what you think others have.
Whether it is a real couple’s highlight reel or a bunch of models, couple goals should be about becoming a healthy, happy couple, not how you seem to the outside world. [Read: 10 signs your relationship is doomed]
We look at romantic photos of a couple on a beach in each other’s arms with golden hour lighting, and it makes us feel things. We want that romance and passion. But we don’t realize that behind that photos are two freezing models feeling super awkward.
Expensive and fancy vacations may look amazing in photos and videos, but they don’t make a happy couple.
There are some couples who did these amazing things and went on beautiful adventures but came home miserable because of each other. It isn’t about where you go, but who you’re with.
Engagement is a beautiful thing if you’re with the right person. Unfortunately, many engagements end because they were more excited about that moment, the ring, and the wedding than sharing life together.
These symbols are nice, but only if you have the foundation to hold them up. [Read: 15 Things to know before you get engaged that can make or break it]
It is such a romantic notion that you should change for your partner or that they love you more if they change for you. But that never works.
We’ve all seen TV shows and movies where the good girl tries to change the bad boy, and if that doesn’t work, she becomes a bad girl for him. *WE SEE YOU, GREASE*
This never works. There will always be resentment and fakeness layered beneath what may look so amazing from the outside.
Couples that spend 24/7 together are not all they’re hyped up to be. This much time spent with one other person is a recipe for disaster, no matter how perfect they seem together.
It may be couple goals to see a guy out to eat with his girlfriend and her friends, but this is really a sign of insecurity and sometimes controlling manipulation. [Read: Alone time – why you need it, how it helps, and how to make the most of it]
If you’ve never set couple goals, don’t worry because you are not alone. In fact, most people haven’t done it before. But that doesn’t mean that it’s difficult to do. Just follow these guidelines and you’ll do just great.
Just like people set long and short-term goals for their careers, you should do the same for your relationship. Where do you want to be in 6 months? 5 years? 10 years? 50 years?
These should include things like geographic location, investing money, children, marriage, and much more than that. [Read: 17 Signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
Have you ever known someone who is full of hopes, dreams, and goals but yet never follows through on anything? These people are nothing but big talkers – the “all talk no action” type of people.
Well, you don’t want to do that. It’s one thing to make the goals, but you have to follow through and take action to make them come true. Otherwise, why make them at all?
It’s also not just enough to set goals and take action. You need to revisit your goals from time to time. [Read: Dating goals – 10 realistic goals that WILL lead you to the one]
One or both of you might change your mind about something, so you need to keep checking in. Put it on your calendars and be sure that you sit down together and talk about your couple goals on a regular basis.
There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition between people. But you don’t want to get into a situation where you are fighting and competing to have your couple goals become more important than your partners.
Remember, you are a team. You are not opponents, so don’t make yourselves into that.
The whole point of being in a relationship is to have fun, be loving, and be happy. So, enjoy the ride!
Many people don’t like setting goals, but it can be a fun way for you to connect and stay connected to each other through the years and decades to come in the future. [Read: 20 Non-negotiables in relationships you shouldn’t ever compromise on]
The problem with all of those couple goals pictures taking over social media is that they’re not real. Sometimes, sure, they’re real people, but even then, it’s one still frame in their lives. Nobody posts pictures of all the hardships relationships endure.
Not all of those pictures are full of junk, though. Some of them do depict real couple goals to emulate in your relationship. But more often than not, the real couple goals you should have for your relationship aren’t seen on the outside but felt on the inside. Here is what you should be working towards in a relationship. [Read: 23 things to look for in a relationship]
Real couple goals mean telling your significant other when they’re acting like a whiny little twit and then proceeding to tell them to fix their attitude. Be honest with your life partner!
Whether it’s just about something small or coming clean after withholding important information, your goal should be to find someone you can be open and honest with, no matter how painful the truth may be. [Read: Enough is enough: How to stop playing relationship games]
Without trust, you just don’t have much of a relationship at all. If you really want to emulate real couple goals, then you have to be able to trust your partner unconditionally, and they have to be able to trust you too.
If you find this kind of love, it’s worth more than anything else. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]
Being able to talk to your significant other about anything is SO important in a relationship. Real couple goals allow you to bring up any topic of discussion, mild or severe, and get through it without issues.
When you keep open communication, you’ll get through fights easier, have your needs met, and bond and relate to your partner on a much deeper level. All of which make for a stronger relationship.
This may be the most important couple goal for you to have walking into a relationship. BOTH of you have to be able to be 100% yourselves around the other, no matter the situation.
If you cry during sad movies, then you better be able to let those tears flow around your significant other. If you’re a total heartless brat when you’re hungry, you have to be with someone who accepts that completely without hesitation. [Read: How to make love last: 19 love commandments]
Now, this may be a couple goal you’ve seen plastered on those cutesy couple’s accounts with a screenshot of a text conversation where the guy says, “Drive safe,” or “Let me know when you’ve made it home, okay?”
Those aren’t just cute. They’re actually real couple goals, too. Caring about one another’s safety as if it were your own is the kind of relationship you hope to be in.
No couple spends every waking moment together and remains together. Honestly, you may end up killing each other that way. You have to be able to spend your time with friends or even alone.
Everyone needs “me time,” and if you can’t handle being away from your significant other for whatever reason, your relationship crumbles. Have real couple goals and emulate being strong while being apart. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]
Yes. Arguing is definitely a couple goal and one that you may not see or hear about nearly as often. The truth is, it is really healthy for couples to argue about things if they matter.
You should be able to get through an argument about something you feel strongly about and still come out of it loving your significant other. Your arguments can’t be trivial, and you always have to find a way to get around your obstacles. [Read: 8 ways to avoid the awkward tension after an argument]
It could be as simple as giving up one night a week to watch them play a sport or giving up a really good job because they got their dream job across the country.
No two people live in a healthy relationship without giving something up that they like as long as it’s not something too serious. Real couple goals involve giving up something you care about for the other person’s happiness.
You’ll never believe how many people say how much they LOVE “just talking” with their significant other but can’t answer the question, “What do you talk about?”
A couple goal to emulate in your relationships is to talk about meaningful stuff with each other.
You have to connect with someone in such a way that you can have those deep conversations and come away feeling as though you’ve gained knowledge and insight. [Read: 80 really funny “would you rather” questions to ask your SO]
This is a couple goal pretty much everyone says is important, and there are so many pictures out there emulating this. It’s actually very true. In every sense of the word, you should be with someone who is your friend—that you’re attracted to, obviously.
The idea of being with your best friend is romanticized. You should have a best friend, but being in a relationship with them merges two separate things that are actually better off apart.
Yes, your partner should be someone you count on to be there at every wrong turn, someone who never judges you, and someone you spend hours with doing nothing and have a great time with.
That’s why you should also find those same qualities in someone you spend your life with. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
One of the most important couple goals you should have in a relationship is to never stop learning. You can be together for months or years, even decades, but as two people grow, there is always more to learn.
You can be finding out something about your significant other on your 50th wedding anniversary. That doesn’t mean you don’t talk enough. It means you want to keep growing as a couple, not become stagnant. [Read: 20 questions to ask your lover to get to know them better]
As unfortunate as it is, money is an important and even vital part of sharing your life with someone. You need to be able to talk about it, no matter how awkward.
Money is how you survive, and not feeling comfortable talking to your partner about this leaves you feeling unheard and even resentful.
Not only should you be learning this about each other, but realistic and healthy couple goals should be about learning new things together. Go take classes together or discover new things.
You can try new recipes, travel together, or just start a new project. But doing this bonds you. [Read: Fun things to do with your boyfriend]
Love languages are not a trendy thing, but helpful. Knowing how you give and receive love and how your partner does it is so vital to be sure you are offering them the most you can. Without this, you could feel like you’re putting loads of effort in, but having your partner not feel that.
Although you may not need a spark at the start of a relationship, having a level of chemistry is important to keep your relationship romantic rather than platonic.
That chemistry is what helps you enjoy sex, kissing, and PDA. Without it, a relationship can get stale. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry and make it stick]
You may see this as a form of couple goals on Instagram. Maybe someone gets a promotion, and their SO throws them a big party to celebrate.
That is amazing but is also a public gesture. It really doesn’t count if they aren’t supporting their partner through the long nights of work and stressful days it took to get there.
Fun is a vital part of relationships that people forget about. You want to seem like you’re having fun because of your ideal picture of what couple goals are, but you may not actually be enjoying yourself.
Not everyone is a planner, and that is okay. You don’t need to have a weekly schedule. But a happy couple should be aiming towards something together. Whether it is something small or big, they should be able to discuss what they both want out of their futures.
Sex is a whole other thing, but intimacy is so important. When a couple loses this, they can start to feel like roommates instead of a couple.
Intimacy is about cuddling on the sofa, kissing each other softly before bed, or holding hands in the park. Make sure you are physically connected. [Read: How to keep intimacy alive in a relationship]
Banter may not be essential for a happy relationship, but it is certainly one of many couple goals that are realistic and worth aiming for.
You can’t force this level of flirting, but you can hope for it in a partner. That back and forth of teasing and laughter put you at ease and ignite those butterflies no matter how long you’ve been together.
You both have to want the relationship to work out and have the same couple goals. If one of you is pushing one way while the other is pulling back, it will never work.
This may be the best couple goal that everyone should be trying to secure. Without respect, a relationship can quickly become dysfunctional and even dangerous. Respect is required for open communication, honesty, trust, vulnerability, and just about every other couple goal on this list.
[Read: 15 real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]
When your partner’s happiness means more than yours, that’s when you know it’s real. That doesn’t mean you should always put yourself last.
For example, if your partner tells you that they desperately want to go traveling and you know you can’t go, you would tell them to go for it. It would hurt you, but you know it would make them happy. [Read: 16 things you need to give up to have a happier life]
Sometimes, spending time together doesn’t come naturally— you need to make the time.
Real relationship goals mean reserving special date nights to spend with each other so that you never forget how to enjoy each other’s company. This is one of the cute relationship goals that every couple should aim for. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]
You spend the majority of your time with your significant other, but you spend the rest of your time either alone or with your friends.
If your relationship goals include spending a healthy amount of time with both of your friend groups, then you’re absolutely on the right track to a happy relationship.
This is one of the cute relationship goals that set the best relationships apart. You should care about your partner’s family as if they were your own.
You should care about their safety and wellbeing just as much as you do for your own family, and you would hope that they feel the same.
Relationship goals are knowing that whomever you’re with will not only care about you but care about your family as well, especially if they see themselves eventually becoming a part of your family. [Read: How to not screw up when you meet the parents for the first time]
Now, your dreams and aspirations are the driving force that makes you happy in life and that motivates you to do what you love.
You need someone there to support those dreams because, without support, you will feel defeated and may even give up. Your relationship goals should include supporting each other’s lifelong aspirations. [Read: Love or career – How to make the right choice]
When you’re in a committed relationship, you now have to work as a team to accomplish what you want in life and to help your partner succeed in what he or she strives to do. This is one of the cute relationship goals to aim for.
You take on someone else’s goals, support them when they need it, and help them see their goals become a reality. [Read: 50 quick questions to test your relationship compatibility instantly]
Real cute relationship goals mean being in love with your best friend. You enjoy their company, want to share everything with them, and want to have fun together—just like two best friends should. [Read: 17 clear signs you should be dating your best friend]
Let’s be real, you know your relationship is on the next level when you can do this.
You’re comfortable enough together to just let one rip and maybe even laugh about it. Because that’s just natural.
This is one of the funny relationship goals to strive toward because it means you’re super comfortable together. [Read: The 20 cutest, adorably awkward moments in a new relationship everyone has to go through]
Moving on from the last goal – things happen. That’s life and you have to be able to talk to someone about them. And sometimes they’re really funny things that go on and you want to be able to laugh with them.
Having the type of relationship where you can tell them anything and know they won’t judge you but instead laugh with you is the best thing.
Where funny relationship goals are concerned, it’s about being as real as you can be and embracing it. [Read: 15 signs of a committed relationship you should look out for]
Breaking promises is the fastest way to lose someone’s trust. Relationship goals mean knowing that when your partner promises something, they’ll follow through with it.
On the flip side, it also means that you will keep your promises when you make them. [Read: The 20 things happy couples never do in a relationship]
Whether that means makeup-free, hair a mess, sick as a dog, or when you’re a complete grump who just spews out insults at every turn, real relationship goals are being able to love each other at your worst.
Nobody is perfect, and you have to know that even if you’re being a terrible person, you’ve still got someone to stand by your side.
We all have those days when we just don’t want to shower or even change out of pajamas. Then we proceed to eat nothing but junk and look like a hot mess all day long. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
The best types of relationships are when you can do that together. The funny thing is that you’re “supposed” to look great for your significant other but it’s the best when you don’t even have to.
Not only is this funny and goofy, but it’s also super fun. You get to kick back and do nothing all night while in matching pajamas.
There aren’t too many couples who are at this level. One or the other will complain about the matching set of pajamas and just want to avoid it altogether. If you and your partner can do this, you’re goals. [Read: 32 awesome sleepover ideas for a fun night together]
Every couple has got to be able to tease each other without getting offended and hurt by it. Making funny jokes about one another is definitely relationship goals.
The thing to remember with this, however, is that something that one person doesn’t think is that bad can really hurt the other. So you have to know each other really well in order to tease and poke fun without injuring your egos.
If there’s one really funny and adorable thing some couples do together, it’s getting dressed up in your favorite nerdy costumes and just having a great time together. It’s not only a great way to bond, but it shows how great your connection is.
This is definitely a funny relationship goal for a lot of reasons. It’s funny for other people to see, you’ll both have a blast, and it just creates a deeper connection between the two of you. [Read: 18 pros and cons of dating a nerd you need to know]
We’ll be honest: clothes are super annoying. And in the summer, they can be downright mood-ruining. It’s really funny when you can just get naked and hang out while everything… hangs out.
Nothing is awkward and you can just enjoy each other’s company while being naked. It shows a level of comfort in yourselves and even in your sex life where you can just sit back naked and not have sex.
And we’re not just talking about eating some bad food and calling it a night. We’re talking about stuffing your face until it’s no longer attractive, but still being attracted to each other.
It’s funny, cute, and just a great time. You should always be able to do that in a relationship and have it be judgment-free. It just shows how strong your connection is. [Read: 30 fun date ideas that’ll leave them wanting more]
Heading to new places and seeing the world one destination at a time with the one you love is something very special indeed.
You’re making memories, and you’re experiencing new things for the first time together. This will only strengthen your bond and of course, give you plenty of material for amazing Instagrammable photos to make everyone back home jealous!
It doesn’t have to be about far-flung destinations, it can be something as small as heading to the next city for a weekend away. It’s basically about seeing somewhere new, but doing it together, as a couple. [Read: How soon is too soon to start traveling with your partner]
Is there anything more wonderful than feeling 100% comfortable with a new beau? You can wear what you want, eat what you want, not wear makeup, and it doesn’t matter, because you feel completely safe in the knowledge that they love you no matter what.
Whilst it might take a little time to actually reach this phase, when you get there, it’s one of the best feelings you will have in your relationship. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through in their relationship timeline]
Okay, we’ve done huge gestures and cute relationship goals like trips away, but it can be something as small and tender as a kiss on the forehead.
A kiss here isn’t just a kiss, it’s certainly not a peck on the cheek, but it is a warm, tender, and gentle moment that whispers far more than you will know at the time. It says ‘I love you’, it says ‘you’re mine’, it says ‘I adore you’.
If your sweetheart starts kissing you on the forehead, it’s a great sign and one of the cute relationship goals to aim toward. [Read: What a forehead kiss actually means and why it’s so special to everyone]
It’s a great feeling when you can debate on a particular subject, e.g. something going on in the news, and something you feel passionate about, and know that you’re not going to be judged on your views.
Nobody is going to take offense and that’s a great milestone When you reach that point in your relationship, you’re really hitting those cute relationship goals. You have the safe feeling of being able to talk about whatever you want and it’s something money certainly can’t buy.
Of course, remember that this works both ways, and you have to be equally as respectful and accepting of your partner’s views too! [Read: Relationship milestones and 15 highlights you should be proud of]
Sitting in your pajamas all day, or even in bed with the duvet for total coziness, hooked up to the TV or laptop, and Netflix on repeat is the single best way to spend quality time together.
You’re cuddling, you don’t have your phones for distraction, and who knows where it might lead in the heat of the moment?
Netflix and chill might be the dating equivalent of a suggestion of a hook-up, but Netflix and lazy binge is our number 1 favorite relationship goal! [Read: 15 romantic gestures in a new relationship new couples must learn]
If you notice that you’re walking down the street, sitting in the car, or generally lazing on the sofa and their hand works its way into yours, you’re hitting one of the best cute relationship goals around.
This shows gentleness and protectiveness, and it shows love. Of course, it could also show others that you’re taken, but when that is done in a quiet and understated way such as this, surely that’s just as cute too?
If you’re the one your new love comes to when they’re upset about something, you’re special.
Most people don’t let their emotional guards down easily in general, and if you’re seeing your partner with their guard down, that is a tender moment that you need to handle carefully, but one you need to smile about on the inside because of what it means.
This is one of the cute relationship goals we’re talking about, and one which might be upsetting in terms of seeing your partner down, but the fact they trust you enough to reveal their emotional side is a positive sign for your relationship.[Read: Relationship closeness inventory – 20 signs to test your intimacy]
Everyone has a sexual fantasy or two. But, have you ever shared yours?
When you feel comfortable enough to tell your partner your biggest sexual fantasies, that’s when you’ve hit relationship goals territory.
And, if you’re able to start trying to act them out, well, you’ve gone over and above dirty relationship goals too! [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying together at least once in your lifetime]
Now, you shouldn’t be in bed with anyone if you’re not comfortable, of course, but there’s always that voice in your head that wonders what they think about your body, isn’t there?
When you reach the point where you’re totally comfortable being naked in bed with your partner and you’re able to focus solely on the pleasure you’re creating, that’s when you’re total relationship goals.
Remember, this is not a contest! There is no ticking clock telling you when you need to have achieved anything, and you should always go at your own pace.
But, looking at the list we’ve just talked about, how many have you ticked off so far? [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]
If you’ve achieved any of them, you’ll know how wonderful it is to feel that close to someone, especially if you have real feelings for them.
When someone opens up to you and shows you affection, it isn’t always done verbally, and it’s often a case of looking for small clues. E.g. the kiss on the forehead, or the random handholding.
Make sure that you’re showing your new partner the same signs of affection too!
It can be all too easy to look for it coming from the other person, but forget that relationships are a two-way street. We need to be natural with our affection when we feel strongly about another person.
[Read: 30 relationship rules and tips to experience the best love life you ever can]
With all the couple goals you may hear about through social media accounts, these are the real ones you should have. With these couple goals on your list of things to emulate in your next relationship, it would be nearly impossible for it to fail.
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