Out of all the different ways you can feel connected to someone, an emotional connection is by far the most crucial to have. Here’s why.
You may be thinking I’m crazy by pointing out something so obvious. Of course an emotional connection is important. It’s supposed to be obvious! But you’d be surprised how many people don’t truly have an emotional connection toward their significant other.
They might think they do, but they don’t. The truth is that they confuse physical attraction with emotional attraction, and then are surprised when their relationship is lacking the connection. You need emotional attraction to be strong with someone if you ever hope to have a successful relationship with them.
Guys take longer to feel an emotional connection
As much as we’d like to believe that men can connect on an emotional level just as easily as us ladies, it’s just not true. Guys take a little bit more time to build that deep connection. They need more time in order to evaluate if you’re someone they can see themselves with long term.
This is also the reason it may take guys a little bit longer to commit than girls. If girls like someone and feel a connection, then we’re ready to be exclusive. Guys need more time to figure that out. And as long as they don’t have commitment issues, it will happen if they feel emotionally connected to you. [Read: How to know if you are truly in love]
Emotional connection – Why emotional attraction is the most important kind
Yes, physical attraction is really important in a relationship, but not even close to as important as emotional attraction. This type of attraction is even more important than being compatible. You can have everything in common with someone but have no emotional connection.
Without it, your relationship is bound to fail. That may sound harsh, but it’s also true. If you want to know what makes you emotionally attached to someone and why it’s vital to a healthy, long-term relationship, here’s everything you need to know.
Signs of a real emotional connection
First, you have to know what emotional attraction even is. You may think you’ve got it figured out, but here are some signs of emotional attraction you must have for a healthy, working relationship.
#1 A feeling of being understood/understanding them. If you have a clear sense of who they are, and you understand them when they’re feeling sad or happy about things, that’s an emotional connection. You also have to feel as though they understand you and how you’re feeling. [Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things it can do to you]
#2 You can talk about important topics with ease. Some things are really uncomfortable for couples to talk about if they don’t have emotional attraction. If you feel like it’s easy to talk about those difficult things with your partner, that’s emotional attraction. You’re emotionally connected to them.
#3 You want to hear their opinions on controversial matters. When you’re actually curious about what they think about certain topics, and you desire knowing how they feel about them, that’s emotional attraction.
#4 You admire their intelligence. This is a more obvious sign of a real connection. However, don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re connected in this way just because you find their intelligence to be sexy. That’s not exactly the same thing. [Read: In love with two people? How to make up your mind]
#5 You’re more attracted to their personality than their appearance. However, the two tend to rely on one another. If you’re really emotionally attracted to someone, you’ll automatically think they’re physically attractive. That’s just how psychology works. But if you truly love their mind more than their body or appearance, it’s emotional attraction.
#6 It’s easy to listen to them talk. Being emotionally connected to someone means it’s easy for you to listen and talk to them, just because you care so much about what they have to say. You can get into topics and you enjoy listening to what they have to say. It’s fun for you.
Why emotional connection is the most important aspect of love
Now that you’re aware of what real emotional connection is, you should know why it’s regarded as much more important than any other aspect of your relationship.
#1 Looks fade. You’ve heard this time and time again, yet a lot of us still fall for the gorgeous ones over the people we’d be way more attracted to emotionally. You have to fall in love with someone emotionally and not just physically, because those physical attributes aren’t going to stay that good-looking forever.
#2 You have to be able to talk about the important things. If you don’t have that emotional connection, you’ll never be able to talk about the things necessary for a relationship to work. You’ll never be able to understand them or where they’re coming from in order to find a solution to problems. [Read: Emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy – the chicken or the egg]
#3 You have to live with someone else’s mind forever. Often times, many things change about a person, even while they’re in a relationship with someone. Having a strong emotional connection is important because you’ll have to live with their mind forever. If you’re not connected emotionally, the relationship can fall apart as the two of you grow and change.
#4 It helps foster a deeper love. You can’t have true love based on looks alone. That “love at first sight” just isn’t real, and it can’t happen. You can care about someone and be concerned about their well being, but without an emotional connection, you can’t have a deep, meaningful love.
#5 It keeps the passion alive even while the desire fades. Passion is crucial for making a relationship last. After the desire to get naked with someone fades, you have to have something else in place to keep that passionate side of the relationship relevant. And emotional attraction is that thing. [Read: Incapable of love? Signs of emotional deprivation disorder]
#6 It makes you want to solve problems instead of just shove them under the rug. When you have an emotional connection with someone, you don’t want to walk away without making sure they’re satisfied and content with the situation. That means your arguments won’t just get swept under the rug. You’ll want to sort them out, and that can help save a relationship.
#7 It increases communication. Just like I mentioned above, having an emotional connection with someone will make you want to talk to them and discuss issues, and really, just about anything. That means that you’ll find it easier to communicate, and we all know how vital communication is to a healthy relationship.
#8 It makes you feel like you’re a part of something. If all you ever felt for someone was physical attraction, you wouldn’t really feel like you’re a part of a relationship. You’d just feel like you had someone to hook up with. Emotional attraction is vital for creating that feeling of being a part of something bigger. It makes you feel like you’re part of your significant other’s team.
I think we all wish we had just as much emotional attraction for someone when we have an overpowering amount of physical attraction for them. But when push comes to shove, you’ll need that emotional connection even more.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...