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20 Signs You Should Break Up and Throw in the Towel

signs you should break up

When a couple start to drift apart, the early warning signs of a break up may not be apparent, even when they know there’s nothing worth fighting for.

In all relationships, there comes a point when the honeymoon period is replaced by a decidedly less pleasant state of affairs. Arguments spring up more readily, less free time is spent dedicatedly together, and other people suddenly seem a whole lot more attractive than they did when you and your partner were sat snuggled up on the sofa every night.

The big question, though, is whether things have broken down so much that there’s no turning back. We’ve compiled the following list of twenty signs that indicate termination territory, and it shouldn’t just be one of them that gives you the justification to separate, but rather, a combination of them.

20 signs it’s time to breakup and walk away for good

The number of signs that needs to have occurred to convince you that you need to part ways is a purely personal matter, but if you reach double figures, then you’re certainly getting close to a breakup.

#1 It bites. Constant bickering and arguing is a sign that the relationship is almost certainly breaking down, unless that was part of the relationship at the beginning. Whether or not it is a truly relevant reason to separate depends upon the frequency and vitriol of the arguments. Needless to say, violence during these arguments means you should get out as soon as possible. [Read: 7 signs you’ve trapped yourself in a bad relationship]

#2 Physical matters. Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship, but it is a hugely important part. If sex disappears, then shared levels of intimacy suffer immeasurably, and the bereft partner is unlikely to want to continue. It could be the case that the partner who is refusing the sex has already come to that decision.

#3 There’s no place like home. Home is an environment that everyone should want to go back to at the end of the day – it is your security and nurtures your strength. However, if the thought fills you with trepidation purely because it means having to deal with your partner, then it is a strong sign that things aren’t as they should be.

#4 All tied up. When people have been together for a while and are still in love, they develop ties together. House, children, marriage, engagement – whatever. If you’ve managed to go years without any of these, then it could be a sign that things aren’t going to progress any further and that it’s time to look elsewhere. [Read: 12 obvious signs your partner’s got big commitment issues]

#5 Looking to the future. Do your aspirations mismatch? Are one of you upwardly mobile and the other happy to hold down the fort? Definitely another tick in the ‘signs you should break up’ box.

#6 Different tastes. He likes Bud, she likes Barolo. He likes holidays in AC, she prefers Paris. He’ll go for a slap-stick comedy, where she likes her movies dark and sophisticated. Sometimes, such differences can be quite charming, but eventually they start to grate on your nerves. This is a sign that it’s time to weigh your options. [Read: Do opposites actually attract or do they just push each other away?]

#7 Don’t agree to disagree. You don’t argue, but you don’t seem to agree on anything either. Whatever you want to do, whatever you think, whatever plans you have, there’s never any consensus of opinion. These are clear signs that you’re not meant for each other.

#8 The self identity parade. If you feel that you’ve compromised too much to keep your partner happy and you wake up one day wondering who the hell you are, this could be another sign that things need to come to an end – for your own sanity, if nothing else. [Read: 16 discreet signs your partner takes you for granted]

#9 Family matters. In a relationship where one half wants children but the other doesn’t, this can be a real deal breaker. Sometimes, it’s worth hanging on for a change of heart, but just as often, it’s time to call it a day and move on.

#10 Let’s be friends. Not getting on with your partner’s friends isn’t unusual, nor is it necessarily a sign that it’s time to split up, but it may indicate differences in attitude that could later lead to separation. Only time will tell.

#11 Remote possibilities. Constant fighting over the remote control shows not only differences in taste regarding TV programs, but also an inability to compromise with each other. This is definitely a sign that may indicate a break-up is a good idea.

#12 Roving eyes. Are you or your partner’s eyes starting to follow other members of the opposite sex when out in public? This is a definite sign of relationship boredom, and a significant reason to part ways. [Read: 15 reasons why you may be getting bored with your relationship]

#13 Closed ears. If you’ve stopped listening to your partner, or they have closed their ears to you, then serious relationship issues have crept into your particular situation. Time to reckon things up, and count whether the blessings outweigh the chores.

#14 Love lost. Some couples can get on fine without love, treasuring the companionship and mutual care they have. For most, however, without love, there’s just no point carrying on.

#15 A source of irritation. Are you constantly irritated by your partner’s presence for no particular reason, even if they try to do something nice for you? Well, there’s a good reason for that. Your heart is probably no longer in the relationship and you’re desperate to be elsewhere. [Read: 20 signs that reveal your relationship is clearly over already]

#16 Keeping up appearances. Have one or both of you let yourselves go a little? Are you no longer the well-groomed individuals you once were? If this is the case, then familiarity has obviously bred contempt, and it’s time to think about your options.

#17 Keeping the parents happy. Just because your other half’s parents don’t like you is no reason to give up on things, but some people really do value their parent’s opinions. If you feel that you’re fighting a losing battle against their negative opinion, and there isn’t enough else to keep you interested, then it could be in your best interests to throw in the towel.

#18 The career fork. Sometimes, a fantastic career opportunity comes along that means moving away from your home. If this is the case, and your partner is unwilling to move with you, then you may decide that your dream job is worth more to you than he or she is. [Read: Love or career – The guide to making the right choice]

#19 Personal issues. Does your partner have disgusting personal habits that they are unwilling to change? If so, then you might decide that it’s time to let someone else deal with them.

#20 Following your dreams. Sometimes, we have a chance to pursue our dreams, whatever they may be, and there’s no room in them for anyone else. If you’re even considering following them at your partner’s expense, then chances are, they don’t actually mean as much to you as you thought.

[Read: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]

Now that you know the signs of relationship decay, it’s up to you to decide how bad the rot actually is, and which route you want to take – the one back into your partner’s heart, or the one that leads to the hills!

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Philip Hegarty
Philip Hegarty
Currently reclining with a peaceful and contented smile upon his face, with perhaps just a hint of mystery and steely resolve, Philip Hegarty has an obviously i...
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3 thoughts on “20 Signs You Should Break Up and Throw in the Towel”

  1. nan says:

    This is a good article and it is pretty on point as well. I think a lot of people do not see the obvious signs from their partner so they do not want to break up with them. A lot of women do not see that they’re boyfriend does look at other women constantly. This could be a big problem down the line when she starts to age and he keeps looking at the younger, more beautiful girls.

  2. berlina says:

    Just fucking break up already. If you are in doubt with your relationship and you’re not happy just fucking leave. It’s that simple. You will find another person to love. Trust me, there are literally billions to choose from and not just in your own country. You have your whole world to go and explore. Hell, fuck with anyone you want! Go to berlin and get some gigolos for all I care. Stop being so fucking stupid and just break up with your freaking ex because it makes you look retarded when your contemplating on breaking up with him or not. WHEN IN DOUBT, JUST BREAK THE FUCK UP.

  3. hands says:

    If you want to break up, you shouldn’t wait for any sign, it all boils down to what you want to do and no one is going to get in your way, you shouldn’t let anyone get in your way. Why? Because it is your life and you deserve to live as you please and don’t give an eff of what anyone wants to say or has to say. I am sick and tired of hearing people bit**ing out about their problems with their relationship and asks consistently for signs if she should break up with her boyfriend. Here’s a little reality check, you spend more time worrying about the signs and you spend way less time spending quality time with your boyfriend, which if you do, might save the freaking relationship. Do I make any sense at all to you? Are you realizing now that you are being stupid for asking some damn signs that will point you no where if you don’t decide for yourself? You have control over what decisions you make in life and you shouldn’t rely on anyone’s advice, except mine of course because this is effing real talk. Yeah, you should believe it and you should kick anybody who stands in your way, even yourself. I was like you once, a few years back, I was in a 4 year relationship that was about to crumble and I kept on looking for possible signs but in all seriousness, I was making myself stupid and I just had to do what I had to do. I first made an effort to make the relationship work but that failed, so I broke up with him and I had my happy ending and I keep on having my happy ending every single day.

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